Should I hide my AFC past from women?

[Argot]

Hi guys, first post but I've been lurking for some time. Wondering if you could give some advice.

When I'm on dates, sometimes women want to know about my past girlfriends. Problem is I'm 40 and I discovered game at 37. I'm doing kinda well now, but my younger years were brutal and the only girlfriend I had was when I was 18... and this for most women is a big red flag.

So what to do? Should I lie about my past? Or tell the truth and totally own it? And what would be the best way to frame it?

Thanks for reading.

 

[Billtx49]

‘I don’t kiss and tell.’
Builds trust with her and you get some CYA…
Your personal past is not ever in a quality future womans need to know category.

 

[Urbanyst]

I'm probably famous on this forum for never having a LTR last longer than a year. And I'm in my 30's.

When women ask me about my dating history I'm very vague and I basically tell them its not that important and I would rather focus on the future. No woman is going to dump you or reject you because you won't talk about Ex girlfriends. She actually wants to know less about them than you think. Just like I really don't want to think about all the penises that a girl I'm dating experienced before me lol.

 

[lizardking82]

Sounds like you insecure about your past experiences which is a very normal sign of a man in your stage of learning about this new world.

If you gonna talk about your past women, you better not care at all about it and see it in a funny light. I don't think you're at that stage yet where you can tell stories and crack jokes about them so I suggest you keep these things in your own backyard for a good while as you become more secure in yourself and your skills as a man.

 

[El Payaso]

Of course. Don't tell them that.

 

[wifehunter]

why?? boys turn into men sometimes...consider it a rare occasion.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I have found that when women prod into your past with other women, they are trying to get a sense of what you can potentially be with them.

They may want to know how long your longest relationship was, whether your capable of a LTR, or if you're just the perennial player who has spent his life getting laid. They may want to know if there is an ex-wife still in the picture somehow, or if kid are involved.

Whatever question they're digging for an answer on, it all basically boils down to them trying to figure out if you have the capability and pattern that meshes well with what they are looking for themselves.

Women looking for a LTR will see a guy who never had one lasting beyond a few months or a year as a big red flag, for example.

Essentially, they want to know why you're single.

My advice is to be more proactive about it. Try to get a sense of what a woman is looking for, and covey some empathy and a mutual desire if it meshes with your own. If you can head them off on it, they'll likely ask you less questions of that nature. And at this point, even if they do, you'll know what they're trying to pinpoint about you with the nature of the question they ask.

And when I tell them I've been fvcking hookers for the past 4.5 years (but really HOT ones), they will politely excuse themselves. Lol.

I could even show them pictures of how hot they were and explain that they're not "real" hookers, they're just normal girls looking for a bit of help financially. Haha. That would go over well.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

When I'm on dates, sometimes women want to know about my past girlfriends.

Depends on how they ask.

Just say you've "been with" your share of women, and there were some good times and bad times. When you were younger, you didn't know what you were doing, so you were in "relationships" that maybe you shouldn't have been in. Or sometimes you kept "relationships" going longer than they should have due to lack of self confidence. But as you continue to improve, you're glad you didn't make any "permanent commitments" since you continue to keep getting better, and as you keep getting better, you find yourself interacting with a higher quality women. This implies the woman you are telling all this to is "higher quality" than the women you've "been with" in the past.

Of course, when you say things like "been with" women, this can mean anything. Like when you ordered a popcorn from the girl at the movie theater, you were "with her" for a little bit. And your "relationship" with her was that you were the popcorn buyer, and she was the pop corn seller. When you "kept relationships longer than you should have" this could mean you lingered for an extra two seconds getting up the courage to ask for her phone number.

The general message any "stories" should compel is that"

You "were with" low quality women in the past and because you are a man who seeks to continuously improve yourself, you can "be with" a much "higher quality women" (the girl you are talking to).

I have a lot of experience with women, but you better than all of them. Details aren't really important.

 

[Von]

keep your dating past to your LTR (girlfriend)

If she ask... turn it into a funny teasing, use humour.

Her: How much girls you did? How long was your ..

you: "guess"

I've used the word "guess" on so many girl questions at the dating stage... never one girl was not happy about a challenge to find an answer. They all loved it

Here a untested one but I do use one of the line each time I get a "how old are you" .

Girl: how long? What's your past?
you: I've been in a LTR for X years (put at X your age)

girl: what? How old are you?
You: "Old Enough" (the line I use when first asked about my age.. The goal being to turn it into a funny game)
Girl: old enough for?
You: dating myself for so long, it's crazy when you love yourself... how much you wanna share it

 

[djthiago1]

Tell them you're their first date with a smirk on your face, or tell them you're married, again, big smirk on your face.

Always counter these silly love questions with humor.

 

[Argot]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I appreciate the advice.

 

[Trump]

When I'm on dates, sometimes women want to know about my past girlfriends. Problem is I'm 40 and I discovered game at 37. I'm doing kinda well now, but my younger years were brutal and the only girlfriend I had was when I was 18... and this for most women is a big red flag.

So what to do? Should I lie about my past?

Yep.

 

[Who Dares Win]

A small effort to lie or manipulate the situation will be nothing compated to the huge headache you're going to get after her mind games and sh1t tests if you tell her that you are a late bloomer.

They may seem older and wiser but the 16yrs old high school girl inside them still measure guys according to the same items.