should I go?

[pete101]

i should also mention she said to me last week that she's 'not looking for a bf..' i know girls say these things all the time but don't really mean it but i guess in the context of my situation that must be pretty clear that i should cancel on her tonight..

really what i'm thinking is.. if i cancel on her now will that make her interested in me all of a sudden?

i guess i'm not brave enough to do that yet but i feel like i should.. basically i feel kinda AFC-ish that if i cancel on her tonight i won't get another chance to run game on her.. is it likely to be quite the opposite?

 

[pete101]

i got about another half an hour or so to decide if i'm gona cancel.. i guess if i manage to get her stick around for longer than an hour then at least i know i'm doing well and potentially a 3rd meeting.. do i HAVE to kiss close tonight under these circumstances?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

where are you going to meet at?

 

[pete101]

at a bar.. i'm planning to pick her up and take her there so i inadvertently will have to take her back to her dorms.. i'm just banking on her having a good time that she decides against sticking around for just an hour and wants to spend longer with me..

im starting to think the cancelling on her would be a better option but does not guarantee she'll see me again.. but does make me seem more unavailable with me retaining a little more power.

right now even i can see that me going makes me 1 look available and 2 keen.

from what i read i presume these things are repellents for women in terms of attraction?

but me cancelling on her shows balls and confidence and that demonstrates im worth more than 1 hour of her time.

right now i guess im catering to her whim by firstly showing up when she contacts me and agrees 3 hours before we're suppose to meet (even though i suggested the time yesterday) and secondly agreeing to only meet for an hour.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You're gonna do what you want anyway, so why you keep flip-floppin' back and forth? Stop being a girlyman and deside.

Go do your thing, then come back and we can dissect all your moves, and at worst, you will learn a lot and apply them towards your next interaction with the next hottie.

At best, she'll be interested a little more than she is now, and we can design a plan.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

A bar? She agreed to go for a drink? Dude, definitely do it then. If that is the last thing she is doing, then she is open to give you a chance to prove yourself (already a bad frame to bein, but you dug yourself into a hole).

She can always claim that she needs to finish papers/homework, etc. but if she's into you, she'll stay longer, then you can start escalating.

Start with the hand(s), then forearms. Rub them, massage them, you can do that early, if she is receptive, then she most likely will be receptive to more later on, after you charm her.

 

[pete101]

thanks i'll keep you posted.

 

[pete101]

last night went ok i guess.. ended up spending whole night with her rather than just the 1 hour she allocated me.

did all the kino stuff you suggested but in regards to reciprocation there wasn't much on her part.. when i touched her back she flinched, when i held her hands it was ok she let me caress them but didn't go for the massage.. kind of felt that despite all this kino it didn't really amount to anything.

even when i took her back to her dorms i started talking about it a bit and she said 'you should see them..' i was an idiot and said 'um.. maybe next time..' and she laughed a little.. because i had not IOIs from her all night i kinda expected and came to terms with that she wasn't into me.. but was surprised when she suggested that. I guess i could have made a joke about her inviting me in but long story short i dropped her off and went.

would me cancelling on her last night before i went really make a difference?

I know i'm LJBF'd so i guess next is in order.

on a side note the one i'm suppose to meet tonight has flaked on me, 2 days ago she's all excited and interested and i tried confirming it today and she hasn't got back to me.. clearly avoiding the question.

what would you suggest i do/say since she's disrespected me by not replying about tonight?

 

[MacAvoy]

I personally think you did the right thing.

However I would like some perspective from Don Gorgon, I'm actually intrigued at his responses. Why did you suggest taking the power back by cancelling? Knowing that she's even busier next week than this week, translates to she won't have time for him next week, I don't think he has enough rapport with her to keep her interested for 2 weeks. So if he cancels on her, its basically over with her.

Now I don't know Pete's history but by his waffling on the issue, he doesn't seem like a guy with a world of experience or a tonne of options, so getting experience would be beneficial IMO.

I'm just curious for your perspective Don.

As for you Pete, the night didn't turn out to bad, you tried some kino, and I think you might have your signals mixed up, whenever a women invites you to see her place, JUMP all over that. That is a sure sign, she just might not have been a public affection type of women.

I would cut contact with the other plate that flaked on you and if she wants back in your life, force her to make it up to you and suck up to you bigtime.

 

[JackPrescott]

Let me say it again. IF a woman is interested in you sexually, there is nothing on this planet that will hold her back. Not husbands, boyfriends, kids, jobs, parents, classes, friends, or siblings. She will wade naked through the Great Barrier Reef with a knife in her mouth to get at you, and fight JAWS hand to hand.

If a woman is NOT into you sexually, there will be lame excuses and lots ' flakin'

 

[ezily]

even when i took her back to her dorms i started talking about it a bit and she said 'you should see them..' i was an idiot and said 'um.. maybe next time..' and she laughed a little.. because i had not IOIs from her all night i kinda expected and came to terms with that she wasn't into me.. but was surprised when she suggested that. I guess i could have made a joke about her inviting me in but long story short i dropped her off and went.

Yeah she could have actually been inviting you in or, more likely, just responding to your comments. She may not have meant anything by it. From the sounds of it, her laughing a little bit kinda seems to me that she knew you took it the wrong way. I mean do you think she's the type of girl to invite a guy up to her dorm when she was hesitant in public to have any kino with you? Dorms are pretty public if I can remember. If she had a guy up all her friends would know that night. But hey, at least you went out last night and got some more experience. That can't hurt you.

And yeah, I think you made the right decision by going. If you would have canceled you probably wouldn't have gotten another shot. Think about it, how many girls do you know would contact a guy who she thinks is interested in her to go out (if she wasn't that interested in the first place)? Only if you know she really wanted to go or that you know she was really in to you then flaking would have been good to get some power back. But that didn't seem like the case here. Now, if you had gone out a few times before and she pulled this on you, then you flaking would be a better idea IMO.

 

[MacAvoy]

The other thing that I just thought of after reading ez's post and her interest. She was interested in you, but THE reason why she waited till the last minute to get back to you was because she was waiting to see if any of her other options would pan out.

Therefore your not at the top of her radar, that doesn't mean your completely struck out, it just means you need better game to land her. If you had a tonne of plates, you could allow this one to drop but if not, its good practice to try and get it spinning at full speed again.

 

[pete101]

normally i'd think that but.. she actually genuinely had essays to hand in this week.. i don't think she was interested in me i mean she told me straight out i'm not her physical 'type' but not so much in those words more so what kind of guys she likes looks wise.

there definitely wasn't any other plans except maybe going to a club with her girls which might have fallen through. she says shes not looking for a bf.. i don't know what that translates to in women speak.

all i know is that i doubt there's any strategy that could make me get her because i've been LJBF'd.

 

[ezily]

yeah just forget about her if you've been LJBF'd. That is not worth your time.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You should send her flowers, to her dorm.

Baba Booey to ya'll!

 

[saber]

she invited you back!!! u f'd up big time

text her in a week saying you have concert tickets and everyon you know is busy

tell her to meet at your house at 5pm and your freind who has the tickets will show up in a limo at 6:30 with some other people

go for the f-close right away

then say ur friends aren't coming

++ this is what someone else in your exact same situation did and it worked++

 

[ARrocket]

I would call her or w.e a few hours before and tell her that something has come up and you're not gonna be able to make it. Then, don't contact her for almost a week....then ask her to do a specific activity with you (hey, let's go ice skating).

 

[pete101]

she invited you back!!! u f'd up big time

text her in a week saying you have concert tickets and everyon you know is busy

tell her to meet at your house at 5pm and your freind who has the tickets will show up in a limo at 6:30 with some other people

go for the f-close right away

then say ur friends aren't coming

++ this is what someone else in your exact same situation did and it worked++

i dont think she invited me back per se.. more so suggested i should see the dorms. to me given how the night went i didn't think of it as a come on that's why i responded in the way i did.. but thinking about it after i realised i still shoulda said yes.

i think literally she just wanted me to see the dorms then leave cos i was asking questions about it..

 

[pete101]

You should send her flowers, to her dorm.

Baba Booey to ya'll!

lol chocolates too? hahaha.. that's too funny.

 

[saber]

i think literally she just wanted me to see the dorms then leave cos i was asking questions about it..

lol i used to think this way...she doesn't care about making sure u are informed about the dorms architcture/rent price/people/ whatever

if she likes you she will invite you

and if she doesn't invite you just ask cause maybee shes on the fence about it