Should I go to a sex club to get experience?

[Scaramouche]

Hi Need Improvement,
Whilst swinging can be lots of fun with a private group,...In this Country at least, the commercial clubs are real dives full of cigarette smoking,tattoed low lives...Good way to get the Pox!

 

[Hal9000]

I've been to places like that and I can tell you the competition is fierce among single males. There will ten, or more, of you for every female who is looking for a single male. If you are in great shape or have a huge #### you may have a chance, but otherwise it'll just be a frustrating night for you not to mention a waste of $100. I would never discourage someone from trying something new but don't go in there expecting to get laid or it may be a depressing night for you.

 

[needimprovement250]

It would be rejection and more psychological damage. You'd be getting rejected by middle aged and post menopausal women who are parts of couples. The last thing you need is more rejection. Also, have you stopping using porn and mbating and fixed your PIED problem? You would have to have a firm erection at the sex club to impress women. And you'd need a firm erection for older women with other men walking around the club.



These single women might make posts about going but likely don't show up. Very few single women actually show up to sex clubs/swingers clubs.

I would say that would be your probable outcome.

That’s actually the exact reason why I revisited this idea in the first place. I’ve been trying to stop using porn and have made good strides with quitting lately, but sometimes my sex drive goes through the roof without that and mbating, then I start thinking that I’m probably not gonna be having sex anytime soon anyway, so I get frustrated and relapse. I think the fact that it could possibly take a year for PIED to be cured has really been demoralizing to me as well. That’s why I thought that I could quit porn and use this sex club as a way to practice with women in a sexual environment when my sex drive goes up. I think I just feel lost when it comes to meeting women since OLD is such a bust and I don’t know where to go to even meet women.

That is true, the single women might just be making those posts out if curiosity and don’t actually go, and you just end up having to watch a couple get it on alongside other guys, which is honestly worse than getting cucked.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Need Improvement,
You are basically right,the one we attended was patronised by mainly 40-50 year Olds,entry for couples only,was about US$60,you got a towel and a little metal locker then went through to a large Hall,cushions and low sofas scattered around,an expensive bar at one end and a small dance floor with several poles,sultry music playing....Not very exciting the even moderately enticing couples were looking for something better and apart from a few half hearted couples no action at all....at about ten oclock the doors were opened to allow hordes of young guys in,they were a real nuisance and we went home!

 

[Hal9000]

Yeah I’m aware that single men are the lowest on the food chain at sex/swingers clubs. I just thought it could help me become more comfortable with sexuality if I did go. This club actually has a forum of their own and there are couples who post on there and yes, they usually are looking to swap with other couples or have a single woman join them. There are also posts from single women on there who go there by themselves but like I said in an earlier reply, they probably get swarmed by all of the single men in there unless they’re only looking for a threesome with a couple.

I thought of that also and I said that earlier as well, that I doubt any women who are young and hot would go to a place like that. Its gonna be mostly older women, some of who probably have been swinging since the 70’s. Ironically, those are exactly the type of women DonJuanJr said I should be aiming for. But you would have to go into this place with zero expectations of getting laid it sounds like, and chances are you won’t.

I've attended many swinger parties/clubs as both a single male and as part of a couple. Let me give you the breakdown on females. If there are 100 females there, there will be 90 that you'd never have any interest in. There will be 6-7 that you would have sex with but you can probably take or leave them and there will be maybe 3-4 ( if you're lucky) that you'd love to have sex with. Unfortunately unless you're the best looking guy there you will never have any shot at the top 3-4 and will, instead, be constantly having to fend off the 90 that you want nothing to do with, assuming you're among the better looking guys there. Most single guys will not get to do anything other than watch and that's not even a guarantee.

 

[BadBoy89]

Yeah I’m aware that single men are the lowest on the food chain at sex/swingers clubs. I just thought it could help me become more comfortable with sexuality if I did go.

If that’s all you need, just watch a lot of adult entertainment with hot women.

That should whip your sexuality in shape into shape in no time.

 

[needimprovement250]

I've been to places like that and I can tell you the competition is fierce among single males. There will ten, or more, of you for every female who is looking for a single male. If you are in great shape or have a huge #### you may have a chance, but otherwise it'll just be a frustrating night for you not to mention a waste of $100. I would never discourage someone from trying something new but don't go in there expecting to get laid or it may be a depressing night for you.

I've attended many swinger parties/clubs as both a single male and as part of a couple. Let me give you the breakdown on females. If there are 100 females there, there will be 90 that you'd never have any interest in. There will be 6-7 that you would have sex with but you can probably take or leave them and there will be maybe 3-4 ( if you're lucky) that you'd love to have sex with. Unfortunately unless you're the best looking guy there you will never have any shot at the top 3-4 and will, instead, be constantly having to fend off the 90 that you want nothing to do with, assuming you're among the better looking guys there. Most single guys will not get to do anything other than watch and that's not even a guarantee.

Yeah that’s what everyone else who’s been there has said if you’re thinking of going as a single guy: go in there not expecting to get laid. I just thought it would be a good place for me to practice approaching women since I have no experience doing so and the sexual environment might be helpful when my sex drive goes up a lot from quitting porn, in addition to helping me get even more comfortable with being naked in front of women. I’m not morbidly overweight or anything, I’ve actually been losing weight lately, but I’m also not jacked yet either. Thanks for the insight, I’m not surprised that single women get swarmed by the men and I’m sure that means you have a very limited window to shoot your shot and I’m sure there will be other guys trying to cut in as you’re talking to a woman in the club. Yeah I’m sure there’s a huge crowd of guys whenever a couple is having sex in a public area in the club, so I’m guess what you meant there is that you might not even get a place in the crowd to even watch, in addition to it being weird and nasty that you’ll have other dudes jerking it on each side of you. I bet some couples just opt to go to a private room in the club because it gets too out of hand.

 

[needimprovement250]

If that’s all you need, just watch a lot of adult entertainment with hot women.

That should whip your sexuality in shape into shape in no time.

I’m trying to quit adult entertainment though, I’ve been addicted to it since I was 12. But whenever I try to quit, my sex drive eventually goes through the roof and I get frustrated since I know that I won’t be having sex anytime soon and I relapse. That’s why I thought this sex club would be a good idea, I could possibly get more comfortable with sexuality and being naked in front of women in addition to practice approaching too.

 

[corrector]

I dont see a difference between this and porn. In fact, porn sounds better as the idea of fapping with other guys on a couple sounds gay and if you know its a near zero probability of getting laid then it defeats the purpose. If you drop porn, then escorts, sex clubs, are all extensions of the same issue. Can you imagine telling a girlfriend prospect that this is what you had to do to get experiencee for her and ended up fapping with other guys? You are doing this for your resume? Then aim for short term relationships and 3 dates from new women. Hope someone can help you here and give you sound advice.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I don’t think one needs to get experience. It’s natural. your body ix hardwired to know what to do.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I could possibly get more comfortable with sexuality and being naked in front of women in addition to practice approaching too.

This is why I think it would be beneficial. Your expectations are not high, and you're not outcome invested, so the negative feelings towards rejection from lower value women wouldn't be a hard hit.

 

[needimprovement250]

I dont see a difference between this and porn. In fact, porn sounds better as the idea of fapping with other guys on a couple sounds gay and if you know its a near zero probability of getting laid then it defeats the purpose. If you drop porn, then escorts, sex clubs, are all extensions of the same issue. Can you imagine telling a girlfriend prospect that this is what you had to do to get experiencee for her and ended up fapping with other guys? You are doing this for your resume? Then aim for short term relationships and 3 dates from new women. Hope someone can help you here and give you sound advice.

Yeah I know that’s the better option, but my biggest issue has been finding dates in the first place. As I’ve said on here before, its been 6 years since I’ve met any women. This has been really frustrating for me and I probably wouldn’t even consider this idea if I could actually meet women. I will admit that it would be hot to watch a couple have sex, but I don’t think I could bring myself to fap alongside other guys, that’s just too weird and would feel too gay and it would definitely kill any arousal from watching the couple.

 

[needimprovement250]

I don’t think one needs to get experience. It’s natural. your body ix hardwired to know what to do.

Its more about women finding out that you don’t have experience and getting turned off.

 

[needimprovement250]

This is why I think it would be beneficial. Your expectations are not high, and you're not outcome invested, so the negative feelings towards rejection from lower value women wouldn't be a hard hit.

No they’re not high at all, it was more about getting more comfortable with sexuality and being naked in front of women instead of banking on an outcome that I want. Like I said earlier, I also wanted to try being in a sexual environment like that once my sex drive skyrockets when I haven’t gotten off to porn in awhile. But have you ever been to a sex club and if not, would you go to one?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Its more about women finding out that you don’t have experience and getting turned off.

It’s not rocket science. make out. sbck her tits. toucjr her. and. In it goes. Girl that popped my cherry had no clue she was the first.

 

[DonJuanjr]

But have you ever been to a sex club and if not, would you go to one?

No I haven't, but about a month ago, I was trying to get the details of a private orgy social circle from an acquaintance. It fell through though.

 

[Ricky]

You should go and report back about the experience.

If anything it takes guts to go to a place like that and could make for a good story. Just be safe and don’t do anything too risky

I actually haven’t been to one before despite being a pretty adventurous guy.

 

[needimprovement250]

It’s not rocket science. make out. sbck her tits. toucjr her. and. In it goes. Girl that popped my cherry had no clue she was the first.

Yeah I know, it was pretty straightforward when I lost my virginity at 21. What I meant was more along the lines of women asking you about your past relationships/dating history, but I know that going to a club like that doesn’t really solve that issue.

 

[needimprovement250]

No I haven't, but about a month ago, I was trying to get the details of a private orgy social circle from an acquaintance. It fell through though.

That sucks, but it does sound like you would go to something like that if you had the opportunity though.

 

[needimprovement250]

You should go and report back about the experience.

If anything it takes guts to go to a place like that and could make for a good story. Just be safe and don’t do anything too risky

I actually haven’t been to one before despite being a pretty adventurous guy.

Oh I will definitely report back here if I go. Yeah it will take some courage for sure to go somewhere like that and have to be nude in front of a bunch of strangers and I’m sure there’s plenty of crazy things that happen there. This place even has a pool and jacuzzi for skinny dipping. So you would go to one if given the chance?