Should I go to a sex club to get experience?

[needimprovement250]

I’ve been back and forth on this one for awhile now and I was wondering what everyone here thinks about this idea. So in my area, there’s a sex club (technically its a swingers club) and I’m tempted to go there and check it out. This place is a legit and licensed business that has been in business since the 70’s, when swinging was really popular. As some of you already know, I don’t have much experience and I’m almost 30. I’ve been thinking that this place could be a good idea because I can get myself more comfortable with sex and possibly get some sexual experience as well. I actually think this could be better than hiring an escort, which I asked about on here a long time ago and most responses that I got were that its not a good idea since you don’t learn much from it and it doesn’t really give you much practice.

With this place, it costs single men $100 to get in and the men are required to walk around completely naked, women can either walk around naked or wear lingerie. If you’re a guy going there to try and get laid, you’re still gonna have to approach women and have some game. But you’re pretty much playing the game on easy mode since you’re both there for casual sex, so I was thinking it could be a good environment for me to practice approaching and game. One thing they did say to keep in mind though is that there will be more single men there than women, so just like with meeting women anywhere else, there will be competition. What do you guys think, should I give this place a try when I have a spare 100 bucks to burn?

 

[Plinco]

No you shouldn't.

Think about it this way; ask yourself what kind of experience are you getting? What you are telling yourself is that you have to pay to get laid, and that women are objects, and by extension you would be treating yourself as an object. If your goal is to build a meaningful relationship then you would gain more experience being around good people.

 

[needimprovement250]

No you shouldn't.

Think about it this way; ask yourself what kind of experience are you getting? What you are telling yourself is that you have to pay to get laid, and that women are objects, and by extension you would be treating yourself as an object. If your goal is to build a meaningful relationship then you would gain more experience being around good people.

But aren’t you technically paying to get laid by taking women out on dates? I would like a meaningful relationship for sure, but I’ve been told by others on here that I need to go the casual route in order to get experience before trying to get a meaningful relationship.

 

[corrector]

But aren’t you technically paying to get laid by taking women out on dates? I would like a meaningful relationship for sure, but I’ve been told by others on here that I need to go the casual route in order to get experience before trying to get a meaningful relationship.

Who told you this advice here? What quality of a woman are you expecting to get? You really going to talk about your past in terms of going to adult clubs and think you will be in? Once you pay the $100 then what? The women there want more money, if you are broke you will feel bad?

What happened to the other dating coach you were talking about? Did he advise this? What $$$ worth of advice did you get from him?

 

[needimprovement250]

Who told you this advice here?

DonJuanJr

 

[corrector]

DonJuanJr

He is not a pay for play type but more of a dumpster dive to break dry spells or get experience. His style is to use OLD but go 2-3 below your SMV.

 

[needimprovement250]

Who told you this advice here? What quality of a woman are you expecting to get? You really going to talk about your past in terms of going to adult clubs and think you will be in? Once you pay the $100 then what? The women there want more money, if you are broke you will feel bad?

What happened to the other dating coach you were talking about? Did he advise this? What $$$ worth of advice did you get from him?

Honestly, the quality of women probably wouldn’t be the best because I’m sure most young hot girls wouldn’t go to a place like that. No I wouldn’t tell anyone in the club that I’m inexperienced, I would just go in and see what happens. These women aren’t sex workers or are getting paid money by the men who attend, women have to pay to get in there too, everybody who goes has to pay an entry fee. So the women who go are just regular women and not getting paid money by anyone to be there. I haven’t talked to that dating coach yet, so he did not advise this. I am still planning on talking to him, but my seasonal job that I do every summer just started, so I haven’t had the time to contact him and schedule a session yet. I’m going to do that when this work season ends or gets less busy, but in the meantime I’m saving every cent from this work season to move out of my parents house.

 

[needimprovement250]

Yeah

He is not a pay for play type but more of a dumpster dive to break dry spells or get experience. His style is to use OLD but go 2-3 below your SMV.

Yeah he told me to go on OLD and aim for the bottom of the barrel to gain experience. Awhile back, he actually did tell me to save up money and hire an escort for experience.

 

[Plinco]

But aren’t you technically paying to get laid by taking women out on dates? I would like a meaningful relationship for sure, but I’ve been told by others on here that I need to go the casual route in order to get experience before trying to get a meaningful relationship.

To be completely blunt, we have some idiots on this forum

Ask yourself these questions: Does the girl like you for who you are or does she like what you have? Are you paying with the expectation of getting laid or are you out having a good time and she is there for the ride?

We are talking about two different experiences. Practice does not make perfect, it makes permanent.

 

[DonJuanjr]

To be completely blunt, we have some idiots on this forum

Yeah, like guys marrying women they're not even sexually attracted to.

I maintain that OP should learn to disassociate sex and love. It sounds like he's not fully red pilled, but just red pill aware. Going into an LTR will just delay being in the same position with only one more notch. He'll find another and develop deep feelings with the next, and then she'll leave him too. All because he hasn't lessened his "bonding ability" by casual sex, and can't maintain frame in the LTR.

I believe there's a sexual repression with older guys with little to no sexual experience. I think it may be a good idea to go to the sex club, even if he doesn't have sex, he will at least become more comfortable with sexuality as a whole, due to being nude in a room with strangers.

 

[needimprovement250]

To be completely blunt, we have some idiots on this forum

Ask yourself these questions: Does the girl like you for who you are or does she like what you have? Are you paying with the expectation of getting laid or are you out having a good time and she is there for the ride?

We are talking about two different experiences. Practice does not make perfect, it makes permanent.

You definitely want to find a girl who likes you for who you are and I do believe that you should never pay with the expectation of getting laid, just go and have a good time. I just thought that going to this club could get me more comfortable with sex and provide me an easier environment to practice approaching women.

 

[corrector]

You definitely want to find a girl who likes you for who you are and I do believe that you should never pay with the expectation of getting laid, just go and have a good time. I just thought that going to this club could get me more comfortable with sex and provide me an easier environment to practice approaching women.

$100 is just the door fee. Its probably a front for prostitutes to pitch you for payment, if they even like you enough to take your money.

You should be careful with these places. Make sure they dont kick you put if you touch someone inappropriately and have a bouncer throw you out. Look at their policy and $100 is just the starting fee. Expect to pay allot more once you are inside.

Also keep in mind there may be gay or bisexual guys looking at your nude body and coming on to you, especially if you are not getting anywhere with the ladies there.

 

[needimprovement250]

Yeah, like guys marrying women they're not even sexually attracted to.

I maintain that OP should learn to disassociate sex and love. It sounds like he's not fully red pilled, but just red pill aware. Going into an LTR will just delay being in the same position with only one more notch. He'll find another and develop deep feelings with the next, and then she'll leave him too. All because he hasn't lessened his "bonding ability" by casual sex, and can't maintain frame in the LTR.

I believe there's a sexual repression with older guys with little to no sexual experience. I think it may be a good idea to go to the sex club, even if he doesn't have sex, he will at least become more comfortable with sexuality as a whole, due to being nude in a room with strangers.

I am aware that sex and love need to be separated and that sex does not equate true and lasting love. I never spoke to the girl I lost my virginity to again after the night it happened. I think there’s probably at least some sexual repression among all of us inexperienced men, and that’s exactly the same conclusion that I came to as well. This place could allow me to become more comfortable with sexuality in a safe and secure environment that is sex positive, not to mention the fact that I have so little experience with being nude in front of women and that would give me the chance to become more comfortable with that as well. I think its actually better that you still have to approach the women in the sex club too since it makes you practice that as well.

 

[needimprovement250]

$100 is just the door fee. Its probably a front for prostitutes to pitch you for payment, if they even like you enough to take your money.

You should be careful with these places. Make sure they dont kick you put if you touch someone inappropriately and have a bouncer throw you out. Look at their policy and $100 is just the starting fee. Expect to pay allot more once you are inside.

Also keep in mind there may be gay or bisexual guys looking at your nude body and coming on to you, especially if you are not getting anywhere with the ladies there.

I’m definitely gonna do more research, but I don’t think that’s what it is. They’re just ordinary women who had to pay a door fee as well. I’ve heard that consent is a big thing there, so you just can’t go around touching people. I doubt you would have to pay a lot more once you’re inside because this place doesn’t even serve alcohol, its BYOB only and there’s no food to buy either. I think all you have to pay is the door fee, then you have to go into a locker room to take your clothes off and store them, then you’re free to go and socialize. This place has a separate night for anyone who’s gay or bi, in order to help prevent what you described from happening.

 

[SW15]

This is a terrible idea.

You are not going to get laid at a sex club/swingers club. You're a single male. You are complete dog crap at a sex club/swingers club. Let me explain why you are dog crap.

The vast majority of single men at sex clubs/swingers clubs are not desired. At swingers clubs, most people who are there are couples. Couples are there to meet other couples. If a couple is looking for only a third, they will want a woman and not a man in most cases. On the rare case that a couple wants to do an MFM threesome with a single male, they will be looking for a man with a 'Chad' physique and a larger than average penis.

It's also worth mentioning that most swingers are middle aged couples or older too. If you were to get laid at a swingers, which you won't, it would likely be with a 40-55 year old woman and there's a good chance it is an overweight 40-55 year old woman with children.

 

[corrector]

Agree with @SW15. I used to be looking into "cuddle parties" in the mid-00s, (did not actually attend) which is the same principle (but not as far as that). This thing is only for couples or single women, not for sub-8 incels. You'll look lost and feel like a fish out of water. People can give advice here, but ask yourself, do they follow the same advice that they give for themselves. Has DonDuanJr ever visited an adult club himself as an dry-spell single guy and did that work for him? Is he speaking from experience? Has he ever used an escort? Again, you have to be careful with people who give you advice but won't follow it themselves.

 

[needimprovement250]

This is a terrible idea.

You are not going to get laid at a sex club/swingers club. You're a single male. You are complete dog crap at a sex club/swingers club. Let me explain why you are dog crap.

The vast majority of single men at sex clubs/swingers clubs are not desired. At swingers clubs, most people who are there are couples. Couples are there to meet other couples. If a couple is looking for only a third, they will want a woman and not a man in most cases. On the rare case that a couple wants to do an MFM threesome with a single male, they will be looking for a man with a 'Chad' physique and a larger than average penis.

It's also worth mentioning that most swingers are middle aged couples or older too. If you were to get laid at a swingers, which you won't, it would likely be with a 40-55 year old woman and there's a good chance it is an overweight 40-55 year old woman with children.

Yeah I’m aware that single men are the lowest on the food chain at sex/swingers clubs. I just thought it could help me become more comfortable with sexuality if I did go. This club actually has a forum of their own and there are couples who post on there and yes, they usually are looking to swap with other couples or have a single woman join them. There are also posts from single women on there who go there by themselves but like I said in an earlier reply, they probably get swarmed by all of the single men in there unless they’re only looking for a threesome with a couple.

I thought of that also and I said that earlier as well, that I doubt any women who are young and hot would go to a place like that. Its gonna be mostly older women, some of who probably have been swinging since the 70’s. Ironically, those are exactly the type of women DonJuanJr said I should be aiming for. But you would have to go into this place with zero expectations of getting laid it sounds like, and chances are you won’t.

 

[SW15]

Yeah I’m aware that single men are the lowest on the food chain at sex/swingers clubs. I just thought it could help me become more comfortable with sexuality if I did go.

It would be rejection and more psychological damage. You'd be getting rejected by middle aged and post menopausal women who are parts of couples. The last thing you need is more rejection. Also, have you stopping using porn and mbating and fixed your PIED problem? You would have to have a firm erection at the sex club to impress women. And you'd need a firm erection for older women with other men walking around the club.

There are also posts from single women on there who go there by themselves but like I said in an earlier reply, they probably get swarmed by all of the single men in there unless they’re only looking for a threesome with a couple.

These single women might make posts about going but likely don't show up. Very few single women actually show up to sex clubs/swingers clubs.

 

[needimprovement250]

G

Agree with @SW15. I used to be looking into "cuddle parties" in the mid-00s, (did not actually attend) which is the same principle (but not as far as that). This thing is only for couples or single women, not for sub-8 incels. You'll look lost and feel like a fish out of water. People can give advice here, but ask yourself, do they follow the same advice that they give for themselves. Has DonDuanJr ever visited an adult club himself as an dry-spell single guy and did that work for him? Is he speaking from experience? Has he ever used an escort? Again, you have to be careful with people who give you advice but won't follow it themselves.

Good question, he has never mentioned if he’s been to anything like this or with an escort. Who knows, I could walk out of it glad that I went, or just feel super awkward and leave shortly after getting in there. I heard that there are couples who go there to have sex in front of other people and that the single guys will gather around to watch the couple go at it while they jerk it. That could totally be all that single guys can get there.

 

[SW15]

I heard that there are couples who go there to have sex in front of other people and that the single guys will gather around to watch the couple go at it while they jerk it. That could totally be all that single guys can get there.

I would say that would be your probable outcome.