Should i go off on her?

[yankees13]

Allright

I asked this girl to chill, go out on date... She acceptated it even thought she said she doesnt go out anyone from school (college)..

Two weeks ago we agreed to go out during the week.. We didnt agree on a specific time but said during the week, during that time she didnt get back to me, reason she said was because she was sick.. Next time we talked she said she was sick and was very apologetic... On that day we agreed we would go out friday (next week)..

Everything was going as planned, but i had really bad luck on that day we were gonna go out, but she started having a bad day, it turns out she was suspended from school GPA problems, or she thought she was.. She didnt know what to do and couldnt find anything about it till Monday, so she really couldnt chill because she was worried as hell ( I would be too)... So she told me we can chill but we not gonna have much fun because shes worried as hell and this is on her mind right now...I was like lets move it to next friday

She was like no it isnt fair, for me to wait a whole week again, she said how bout Wednesday (today).. I was like i have classes on that day i dont know, and we agreed Friday..

On Monday i talked to her and told her how bout we chill Wednesday, because i do not have classes, and she was like allright thats good..

And thats where we are now we didnt go out today, she didnt get back to me i dont know what happened, if something came up, if she had to work extra or whatever.

Now question is, tommorow when i talk to her online ( i dont have her #) We usually chat on AIM when she is at work...DO i go off on her tommorow, telling her its messed up what she doing that she should of had wrote me an email or something that she had to cancel for whatever reason... Or do i wait and see and wait to hear her excuse, and wait two more days till friday to see what comes out of it and if we do go out Friday?...

I pretty much know if i go off on her it wont be nice and then definitely i would blow off my chances with her, and never go out with her.. Maybe i should be more considerate and patient? Shes taking a class from 8am till 1030, then works from 11 till 6..

What do i do? Be patient wait two more days and maybe we will go out, or just screw it and tell her off tommorow?

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

sounds like she's giving effort from her previous cancelled dates with you...put yourself in her shoes..if YOU were about to fail a grade because your GPA was low, would dating a HB the first priority on your list?

give this girl some time, she's worried about her school and may not be in the mindframe to date anyone right now. it sounds like her IL in you is fairly high...just cut contact for a lil while, wait til she comes back to you, then DJism her to your hearts delight.

i dont think your situation is terminal, trust your gut, if she sounds sincere, she just might be.

-HQ

 

[yankees13]

Maybe you right, maybe i should be more considerate.. But i just felt stomped to what happened today, Monday everything was good it turned out the Suspension was a computer mistake and they took it off from records. And i was pretty sure we would chill today, i got dressed up and everything and when i didnt hear from her i was mad as hell

 

[TDK4]

In order for you to be successful in any endeavor in life you have to have respect for yourself first which means not accepting anything less than what you deisre. This girl is exhibiting major signs of flakiness which in turn means her interst level is moderate to low. If she were truly interested she would find time to be with you. Lightning ( tragedy) can only strike so many times in the same spot before it becomes a conspiracy and not a coincidence. Do yourself a favor and move on. You owe yourself more. It is situations like this which end up castrating men and mind****ing them to the point where they are no longer men and do not act as a man, rather act as a woman, i,e. NEEDY. When you dont get what you want from a situation in life it is up to you to either accept it and be a pawn to misery or reject it and DEMAND more. This site is about not being a needy pissant and being a man in control with no hangups or shackles and seeking out that which makes you happy. This whole situation just seems to me to reek of well, SARDINES! So go out and place yourself in a situation where you arent so needy and take control and make reality what you want it to be. In other words, be a DON JUAN!

When in doubt use the smell test -Maurice Chavez, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

 

[yankees13]

Well i dont know if there is no interest level, i talked to guys who previously asked her out and she always said no to them.... So there must be a reason why she said yea to me.. I dont know im gonna wait till tommorow see what she says about what happened today.. If i hear the excuse is lame and she doesnt make it up to me right away by saying something like " Ill meet u later on today and im sorry" Im gonna go off on her and let her know whats up

 

[TDK4]

You owe yourself more than that. Why would you, the most important person in your life put up with waiting on her like that. Why put everything on hold til she tells YOU how its going to go. Take control if you dont like whats occurring then find something thatll satisfy you. Remember in the end DJ is just a fancy term for getting what you want in life. If anyone gives you any sign of flakiness dont stand for it. Let this be her last chance so to speak unless you get a definitive sign of acceptance from her, if not then move on. You owe yourself that.

When in doubt use the smell test - Maurice Chavez, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

Originally posted by TDK4
In order for you to be successful in any endeavor in life you have to have respect for yourself first which means not accepting anything less than what you deisre. This girl is exhibiting major signs of flakiness which in turn means her interst level is moderate to low. If she were truly interested she would find time to be with you. Lightning ( tragedy) can only strike so many times in the same spot before it becomes a conspiracy and not a coincidence. Do yourself a favor and move on. You owe yourself more. It is situations like this which end up castrating men and mind****ing them to the point where they are no longer men and do not act as a man, rather act as a woman, i,e. NEEDY. When you dont get what you want from a situation in life it is up to you to either accept it and be a pawn to misery or reject it and DEMAND more. This site is about not being a needy pissant and being a man in control with no hangups or shackles and seeking out that which makes you happy. This whole situation just seems to me to reek of well, SARDINES! So go out and place yourself in a situation where you arent so needy and take control and make reality what you want it to be. In other words, be a DON JUAN!

TDK4..I'd like to agree with the majority of what you are saying..but..i think too many DJ's have their finger on the 'NEXT HER' trigger and are too busy protecting their HUGE MAN B*LLS and are guarded by WHAT'S FOR ME COMES FIRST AND F*CK THE REST ATTITUDE.

TDK4, think back to a situation where you totally had a brain fart and had forgotten about something important, whether it be school paper, project at work, or calling the HB to cancel the date because you just rushed your mother to the hospital...i can't judge this girl or justify her actions, but hell, sh*t happens...doesnt mean she has NO interest in him. I thought patience was a keystone trait of a Master DJ?

if i Nexted everygirl who gave me a resonable excuse and yet she offered to make it up to me, then i would have missed out on a couple very good STR's, LTR's, and FB's.

patience takes more skill than NEXTING..with that said, I agree whole hartedly with TDK4 that yankees should be looking at some new prospective fems. just because he's being patient, doesn't mean he has to sit at home and pedestal this chick...

yankees, find new game..mark new territory..there is nothing wrong with dating 4-5 different girls..if you are looking for the right one, how can you when you've put all your eggs in GPA girl's basket. put GPA girl on the back burner and let her simmer, but, dont NEXT her quite yet. you guys aren't exclusive...so go out n pull some other fems.

-HQ

 

[yankees13]

Allright thanks and ill just do that..

Unless i hear something good that will truly satisfy me shes gonna hear if from me..... Any idea what i might say, well i pretty much know what to say but i just would liek your opinion

 

[yankees13]

Well HP, and TDK i feel you both have great points.

 

[TesuqueRed]

DO NOT go off on her.

Don't be a retard. (yeah, I meant that...)

TDK is right. So is HIPNOTQ (love his posts, btw..), but--on balance--I'm thinking this isn't the place where next-ing her is premature. If you read her signs clearly early enough, you would have already done it, IMO.

But this is all about learning, and you'll remember her BS for when the next girl pulls it, so it's all good. And I mean that, too, since this is primary experience and is absolutely invaluable to you even if you can't process it all at the moment. You will later...

She's got too many problems, none of them are your's, her IL is low to middlin'---and WTF does what she said to blow off every other loser that tried to get with her have to do with what she said to you---??? If anything, she sees you as less worthy and is blowing you off, too! (and NO, this is not justification to go off on her!)

So, get this---you may not understand these at the moment, but get these anyway:

DO NOT go off her because...

a) you started this, so don't be a shyt and go get self-righteous when you can't take a hint (which she's been giving) and get lost. Basically: you forced yourself on her and, like most people, she won't be direct or rude, so she communicates by being evasive and HOPES you can READ BETWEEN THE LINES and figure out she's not into you.

What is called for? Be gracious, drop it and let it go. Move on. Next. Whatever.

b) It shows you can't handle yourself to a woman

Side note: you won't believe all the signs women look for to see whether you can handle yourself or not! And if they're not getting enough signs to read, they'll throw tests and induce crises to see if you can handle yourself. This isn't the case here but is good to know.

c) Low value women will be impressed by some moronic display, as in: "he beat me, it shows he cares!" or "he made an embarrassing scene in public, it shows I can affect him and I mean something to him!" If going off on her turns her around, you've got a head-case chick on your hands. You don't want that, btw...

d) You haven't even "chilled" with her yet--which is less than actually going out on a date! You have NOTHING--you have no rights as of this moment to any of her time or attention. So, on what would you go off on her about?

Even if you "dated" a few times (which is more than "chilling") you would still have NOTHING. Until she asks you to be her BF and you AGREE, you have NOTHING. A "date" (which, for the third time, is more than "chilling") begins when you pick her up and ends when you drop her off or leave her place. Before and after that you are both 100% independent agents---which means no rights over the @ss of the other.

Again, be gracious--let it go. In actually, you have nothing to let go since you have nothing at this point. Letting her have it presumes a lot.

e) Letting her have it shows you are psycho to her, her friends, and everyone who knows you and her and her friends.

f) Letting her have it at this stage means you are, indeed, psycho.

g) Letting her have it at this stage shows you are a loser to her, her friends, and everyone who knows you and her and her friends.

h) Letting her have it at this stage means you are, indeed, a loser. I shyt you not.

Get this idea out of your head.

This isn't a case of your macho-integrity on the line. You expressed interest, she threw up a good deal of smoke and noise--you got your answer: she's not all that interested. You--showing class--say nothing, be civil, move on.

Maybe she has middlin' interest in you. Fine, then pull back, date others, let her come running after you. You're being too obvious here.

 

[Quick]

The last posts by TesqueRed and HypnotQ have it dead on. In reality, she's only messed up once, and that's when she didn't show up for the last date without telling you. With the previous dates, she cancelled appropriately, gave you reasons, and rescheduled.

What you need to do is put her at the end of your list until she makes a date and follows through. For all practical purposes, you will have nexted her, except that if she comes after you you'll still give her a chance. If she doesn't come after you, you guys will end up not talking anymore. Go out and find girls that can make a date and keep it. Do not "go off" on her. Any chance that you might have had will disappear if you do. It makes you look weak, and is not justified. She doesn't owe you anything. Going off shows her that you're not in control.


Why don't you have a phone number? You should have her number and vice versa, before you go on the first date. There's no legitimate reason not to.

 

[TDK4]

-HPNOTQ-, I completely understand your point. If one is to always NEXT the girl the second things dont go their way then they are bound to miss out on something great. Only an impatient, immature, inexperienced man would do that. On the flipside in this case, judging by what I read from Yankees 13 he has given her time. He has been patient and to no avail, he still hasnt seen any *real* signs of interest from the girl. She may show artifical signs of interest such as accepting a date, which she then turns down, but as we all know most women are cowards. They most of the time do not have the stones to reject a guy flat out face-to-face. Instead they relunctantly accept his offer and then later on turn him down by masking their intentions with "Thursday is the day that I shampoo". All good things are worth waiting for, but along that road of wait, there has got to be a checkpoint, meaning some reciprocation from the girl. If there is none, then rest assured she is not interested. There is a fine line between being a challenge and not being interested. That being if you are a challenge youll at least give a bit to maintain his interest level, but in this case she hasnt given him any real acid signs of interest.

When in doubt use the smell test - Maurice Chavez, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

 

[yankees13]

UPDATE UPDATE lol

Well talked to her today.. She said she thought i may have been busy because i didnt get in touch with her or anything so she thought i was busy and didnt have time to go out Wednesday...So i was like yea ok, i told u monday ill be able to chill wednesday, she was like well yea but i didnt hear from you since then and i thought u cancelled and was busy... So then i told her well i feel your disrespecting me and my time, and if you dont want to go out with me tell me dont waste my time.. She said, no i do want to hang out with you i told you, but i told you last week i didnt want to because i was scared because as you know i thought i was suspended from college so that day was kind of bad, and as for yesterday {wednesday} like i said i thought u were busy....

So i asked, do you want to chill tommorow, and she was like.. Are you busy today?! (thursday, lol didnt expect that).. Well i actually was busy today.. Then she was like how bout tommorow, or Sunday... I was like Sunday is fine.. Then she was like do you want my cell phone so you can call me.. I said yea sure i should of have asked u for that long time ago....

So thats it, i think it went well today..Opinions?

 

[OddTech]

She counter-offered. It looks good.

 

[htemorp]

Originally posted by yankees13
UPDATE UPDATE lol

Well talked to her today.. She said she thought i may have been busy because i didnt get in touch with her or anything so she thought i was busy and didnt have time to go out Wednesday...So i was like yea ok, i told u monday ill be able to chill wednesday, she was like well yea but i didnt hear from you since then and i thought u cancelled and was busy... So then i told her well i feel your disrespecting me and my time, and if you dont want to go out with me tell me dont waste my time.. She said, no i do want to hang out with you i told you, but i told you last week i didnt want to because i was scared because as you know i thought i was suspended from college so that day was kind of bad, and as for yesterday {wednesday} like i said i thought u were busy....

So i asked, do you want to chill tommorow, and she was like.. Are you busy today?! (thursday, lol didnt expect that).. Well i actually was busy today.. Then she was like how bout tommorow, or Sunday... I was like Sunday is fine.. Then she was like do you want my cell phone so you can call me.. I said yea sure i should of have asked u for that long time ago....

So thats it, i think it went well today..Opinions?

Maybe it's the way you describe the situation, but it sounds like a conversation between two middle school kids that can barely speak. Keep conversation short, simple and to the point when making dates...stop this, I tought you were Monday...blah Tuesday, no no no, Wednesday crap...I can't imagine why anyone would wanna conversate like this.

 

[yankees13]

Blame the way she speaks on her not me, that show she likes to talk lol

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

sounds like a pretty good recovery..on the date, use your DJisms (kino, c/f, neg hit) to bring this girl back to your level.

if all goes well, you'll be glad you didnt NEXT her while she's in your bed suckin the fillings out your teeth...hahaha

-HQ