Should i give her another chance?

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Qmanchoo ,
That is what I am saying. It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner at a lobster house.

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Men are ridiculous!!!! I have never been expected to pay for myself on a date. I may offer, but I have never been asked to. Any man that does this is viewed as a cheap loser and the girls will have fun talking about your broke, loser @ss!!!!

Haha, AS IF we are in earth for women's fvckin' amusement!

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Trust me, I am a Gorgeous girl. Not to be conceited, but I am.....
I don't look to any celebrity. I make up my own style.....

EVEN if you're ugly or whatever, that doesn't mean nothing. There's much more to a woman than that. I know some people out here take any amount of shyt you deliver because they want you. BUT remember that they're not all of us. Nor they're one of us, DJs.

We don't have anything to prove. AND we don't have to do anything because it's women "right" or something. We do what we want to, including asking women out. If they agree, it's on our terms. If it doesn't work, so what? That's the purpose of it! If some girl think I'm a loser because I didn't pay for her, I'll just think: THANK GOD!!! You have just saved me from HELL!

But that's just me, ok?

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

FIRST DATE!!!! Not for life!! Is it too much to do????

 

[PRMoon]

Why not give it another go. just because things didn't go EXACTLY as you wanted them to does not mean its game over all of a sudden. I'd give her a call and see what's up, maybe she'll suggest the two of you go out again, that's always nice to hear.

Besides if she's really THAT attactive then what's a little set back like her comlaining a little bit? Things might shape up in the future and could work out really good for the two of you.

Note: make sure you're still on the hunt for some other prospects too. I'm gonna keep saying this to everyone as long as I post. Finding new girls keeps you honest about the one's you're pursuing.

 

[djbr]

Oops! Before flames start, let me add something: I'm not saying that YOU,
Jus_LikeCandy, wants something from men or anything.

What I'm trying to clarify here is: you think that man who doesn't pay in the first date is a "broke, loser @ss!!!!". WE just think that if a woman DOESN'T PAY for HER share on the first date, she's going to be HIGH MAINTENANCE. Almost guaranteed. (nothing is 100% guaranteed, hehe).

Especially after all of this feminist thing. I just can't understand nor accept the fact that women want all the benefits that it delivers to them, but none of the obligations, such as paying for themselves! After all, aren't they FREE now? WTF?

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
FIRST DATE!!!! Not for life!! Is it too much to do????

For me it is. I'm a broke ass

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

I still want to know why he asked what I looked like.... What does that have to do with anything??

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Krassus:

I'm not even get involved in the girl/guy fighting over paying issue.

Bro, your too "there" for her. She has you by the nutz as far as interest goes and she knows it. She's being a spoiled little brat and you shouldn't tolerate that bullshyt, no matter how "hot" she is. I do think on the same token though, your reading into things a little too much. Its waaaaaaaaaaaay too early in the game for you to expect her to be a certain way and do this or that for you. You guys are still getting to know eachother. Don't rush things just because you feel she might be MLTR. Which I might add is INSANE to think at such an early stage and often leads to one-itis and chump status.

Just relax, and see what happens. You've obiviously made a lot of sacrifices for this byatch already and she doesn't really seem like she's the type of girl who will return the favor. However its waaay too early as I said to make all these assumptions. Take her out a few more times and see what the happens. I would also recommend doing different things when you go out, rather than the dinner/beach bullshyt. Take her to mini-golfing to be playful, or bowling, go on a hike etc. Be adventurous and keep everything light in the beginning.


PIMP

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
FIRST DATE!!!! Not for life!! Is it too much to do????

Typically when I go on a first date the girl more often then not I'll whip out my wallet no problem. But then I'd say 9 times out of 10 the girl will say she wants to split it with me or she wants to pay.

I usually pay and say you can get the next one when we go out again. Typically when it comes to dates and dating for me, I'll split the differance with the girl I'm with. Usually we get 1 appetizer and 1 entree and we both split it anyway so i guess that's fair.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

That is what I am trying to say. If the girl offers then she offers. But, a guy shouldn't ask a girl to pay. Whether she is the selfish type and never offers or the compramising type willing to split it is a different story. I just think it strange for a guy to ask a gril to pay.

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
That is what I am trying to say. If the girl offers then she offers. But, a guy shouldn't ask a girl to pay. Whether she is the selfish type and never offers or the compramising type willing to split it is a different story. I just think it strange for a guy to ask a gril to pay.

Hmmmm my current g/f is dispropotiantely more wealthy then I am and she knows it. Also I work and she doesn't so whenever we go out she won't hear of me paying for our time together. I don't really MAKE her pay but on the other hand she refuses to let me pay for anything.

Also the original thread starter said he made her fork over 20 bucks for HER meal so that's really not different then asking her to split the bill with him, a request I don't find all that unreasonable. Womens lib works on a two way street these days, ya know.

 

[Fenderules]

Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
FIRST DATE!!!! Not for life!! Is it too much to do????

hey, if your dating lots and lots of girls, it does add up. And besides its annoying as **** when you pay for their meal and find out they are not for you (low interest, ***** or wutever).

I mean seriously a ***** will be a ***** weather you pay for her meal or not. you just find out a lot sooner.




and even cofee is not that cheap these days. Like at starbucks Ice cappuchino's are like 4 bucks or wutever. RIPOFF. Im a student going to university and 10 grand in debt with job thats 10 bucks an hour. Half the time i can't even afford cofee for myself, nevermind going for dinner forking out 30+bucks for me and her. I drive, i pay for gas 2.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Wow, so many guys are either totally paranoid about golddiggers, or are scrubs.

If you ask her out, and it is the first date, tradition says it's your duty as a guy to pay. Despite the fact it's the 21st century and gender equality says yada yada yada, unless the girl insists on paying on the first date, she expects you to do it (especially girls from other countries). In many cases, if you don't, you get marked as a scrub and she talks sh!t about you to her friends (I've lived with girls in college, you have no idea at the kind of sh!t that comes out of their mouths).

I don't see the problem anyway, I mean if you are really cheap, take her out for something like coffee or ice cream and u'll only spend like 5-10 dollars.

I find it amusing how so many guys here are totally anti-feminist, yet expect women to be independant when it suits their own ends. What do you want exactly? A girl with old fashioned values that places herself under your control and looks up to you as provider, or a new age feminist hor that looks after herself and thinks she's in control? Sounds to me like a lot of people here want the best of both worlds.

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

I find it amusing how so many guys here are totally anti-feminist, yet expect women to be independant when it suits their own ends. What do you want exactly? A girl with old fashioned values that places herself under your control and looks up to you as provider, or a new age feminist hor that looks after herself and thinks she's in control? Sounds to me like a lot of people here want the best of both worlds.

You got a point. A really good one.

Really.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
In many cases, if you don't, you get marked as a scrub and she talks sh!t about you to her friends (I've lived with girls in college, you have no idea at the kind of sh!t that comes out of their mouths).

Who cares what these college girls say. You'll have plenty of sh1t to run back at them after you see them in another one of Snoop Dogg's Girls Gone Wild videos.



P.S. The same girls who talk sh1t about you being a "scrub" for not paying would be the same ones talking sh1t about you for being a sucker and giving them a free dinner when you're not getting any. These personalities are the same, just in reverse scenarios.

I know women too. I have lived with 4 girls, I've had girl friends. Not all of them are like that and talk sh1t about stupid little things like that. If she is that type who does talk sh1t, then I would not want her anyways. So that threat holds little weight in my perspective.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
Who cares what these college girls say. You'll have plenty of sh1t to run back at them after you see them in another one of Snoop Dogg's Girls Gone Wild videos.

Lol about the GGW video thing.

I don't know how it is at your college, but at mine, it was really social and almost everybody knew everybody else (and it was a huge school). Word spreads around, and getting a sh!tty rep gets in the way of your goals. And it goes both ways, I mean I knew sh!t about girls I never even talked to that would make me not wanna hook up with them.

But either way, being a scrub on the first date is counterproductive. If she insists on paying her share, by all means let her, otherwise, take care of it. If you really can't spend money, take her somewhere cheap. I mean a walk in the park is free and an awesome date.

 

[djbr]

This issue has 2 sides.

Guys here (including me!) advocated one.

MindOverMatter stated another. After all, if we are so against feminism, why in the hell do we expect her to pay? That's the man job.

It's our "Ho Shields" in action, set to MAXIMUM DEFENSE.

But for now, I'm thinking: if she OFFERS to pay and you don't let her, it's ok. But if she EXPECTS you to pay, this is a bad bad sign of things to come. Best of both worlds, maybe?

I love this forum

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by djbr
This issue has 2 sides.

Guys here (including me!) advocated one.

MindOverMatter stated another. After all, if we are so against feminism, why in the hell do we expect her to pay? That's the man job.

It's our "Ho Shields" in action, set to MAXIMUM DEFENSE.

But for now, I'm thinking: if she OFFERS to pay and you don't let her, it's ok. But if she EXPECTS you to pay, this is a bad bad sign of things to come. Best of both worlds, maybe?

I love this forum

How about we forget about feminism then?

Look at it from a DJ perspective:

I think we all agree that the DJ perspective advocates the following things (among others):

1) Be the prize.
2) Make HER qualify.
3) Be a challenge.

*****ASSUMING you are practically strangers until the first date

If you pay on the FIRST date, what message are you sending?

You are indirectly saying that you basically feel you need to pay her to spend time with you.

You are indirectly saying that your presence isn't reward enough and she should be compensated.

You are indirectly labeling her as the prize and that you need to please her by paying.

You are qualifying yourself, instead of her qualifying to you by paying for her own meal.

You are not providing a challenge by basically giving in to old "nice guy" rules (paying on the first date).



If you meet up with a new buddy for the first time through another friend or something, do you automatically feel obliged to buy him lunch/dinner? Why not? Then why is it so different from meeting a woman for the first time?



I'm not saying NEVER pay, I'm saying that she should qualify herself first before you start taking roles like this. Do you give out your money to people indiscriminately? Why? Because they have to earn it? They have to qualify themselves to you don't they?

Basically, I'm saying don't give out anything to a woman that is not earned. She will be more than happy to take it for granted.

There is a saying that you could do all the nice things in the world to a woman, but when you upset her, she will only remember that you upset her.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
How about we forget about feminism then?

Look at it from a DJ perspective:

I think we all agree that the DJ perspective advocates the following things (among others):

1) Be the prize.
2) Make HER qualify.
3) Be a challenge.

*****ASSUMING you are practically strangers until the first date

If you pay on the FIRST date, what message are you sending?

You are indirectly saying that you basically feel you need to pay her to spend time with you.

You are indirectly saying that your presence isn't reward enough and she should be compensated.

I disagree and think you're reading way too much into it bro. It's a social norm for the person who initiates the date to pay for it.

You are indirectly labeling her as the prize and that you need to please her by paying.

You are qualifying yourself, instead of her qualifying to you by paying for her own meal.

You are not providing a challenge by basically giving in to old "nice guy" rules (paying on the first date).

Under that logic, the whole DJ way of life is hypocritical. Why?


Because same could be said of approaching the girl. You label her as a prize and qualify yourself by approaching her instead of waiting for her to approach you. You are not providing the challenge by giving into the old "nice guy" rules where it's the man's job to pursue a woman.

Paying for the first date doesn't make you less of a challange. If that was the case, I'd never get laid.

Also, it's a bit funny how all the guys here are afraid of being nice to a girl. When women say they want a nice guy, they are telling you the truth.

What they don't want is a feminine man with no balls. Many guys don't know how to pull off being nice to a girl without losing their balls in the process, hence the reason they think being a nice guy gets u no pvssy. Being nice is a good thing, but if the girl gives you sh!t, you have to possess the balls to put the b!tch in her place. There is a difference between being a nice guy and a doormat, women can tell it, most men can't.

If you meet up with a new buddy for the first time through another friend or something, do you automatically feel obliged to buy him lunch/dinner? Why not? Then why is it so different from meeting a woman for the first time?

It's expected for guys to be able to provide for themselves. If a man can't provide for himself, we generally look down on them, consider them weak, and wont help them out because we consider them to be the weak link the society and we think that society is better off without them.

With women, it's different because for centuries they've been considered the weaker gender, and those traditional norms are still alive. Even tho girls today are raised in a different society then those that lived in the early part of the century, they are still aware of these courtship traditions.

Do you give out your money to people indiscriminately?

No, but this isn't just some random person. You know this girl, you are the one who asked her out. If she asked you out, it would be her job to pay for the date.

Basically, I'm saying don't give out anything to a woman that is not earned. She will be more than happy to take it for granted.

I disagree. I mean I have hooked up with like 2 girls that expected me to pay all the time, but majority of the girls I've been with, it was always 50-50. Since I'm a bit low on cash now until my payday, my current girl has been treating me all the time. Not just that, but she has bought me all sorts of sh!t since we started dating.

Like i said, paying on the first date doesn't penalize you in any way. You paying on the first date doesn't make you any less of a challange, not having balls when she's acting up and being a pushover makes you less of a challange.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Let me skip all the crap and get to this point:

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
I disagree. I mean I have hooked up with like 2 girls that expected me to pay all the time, but majority of the girls I've been with, it was always 50-50. Since I'm a bit low on cash now until my payday, my current girl has been treating me all the time. Not just that, but she has bought me all sorts of sh!t since we started dating.

Not paying on the first date is like a filter for girls like the 2 h0es you just mentioned who are selfish and expect the man to pay her way through life. If she gets "insulted" or "angry" over not paying for her, then she's probably of that type. In that case you're better off without her and waste less time and energy.

The good ones like the girls who you said pay 50/50 and help you out when you're in need won't get "insulted" or "angry" over not paying for them on the first date. They're the keepers. You don't risk losing girls like these over not paying on the first date.

It's the male equivalent of a sh1t test. You see if she blows fumes over you not paying for her. Then you can decide where to take it.