Should I end my friendship with this girl?

[Maxtro]

I'm completely lost. I have spent a lot of time with this girl (several months) and she is completely comfortable with me, I'm 100% sure that she thinks I'm harmless. But I'm not and I would love to fuck her. But sense I haven't actually tried to kiss her, maybe I am harmless

Spending time with her, feels empty. The only reasons I hang out with her is because I somehow feel obligated to because were friends and that I really want to get laid and she seems like the only accessible girl I know.

Today I was her emotional support when she got her nose pierced. Then we went grocerey shopping then had lunch. It's like we're dating but it didn't end in sex or a kiss, just another friendly hug.

She wants to spend time with me again tomorrow. She wants to practice driving since she doesn't have her license yet, then were going to come back to my place for the party my roommate is having.

I feel that everything will change tomorrow. Both of us will get a bit drunk and I'll try to make a move. The alcohol is the perfect excuse. Tomorrow has the potential to either go really bad or really good. With my luck it will go bad but I need it to be good.

Since I am her ride there is a huge chance she will be sleeping in my room. I'm not going to drive drunk to her house. If somebody offers her a ride, I'll insist that she stay. The situation will be ideal, I will try but I won't force her. That is of course if I haven't attempted a move earlier in the night.

If we don't hook up I don't want to spend anymore time with her. Spending time with her has been very useful for me. But if we don't do anything I'm going to keep stressing over it. I rather not see her anymore if this is as far as we go. I'll just need to think of better thing to say to her than, "Bitch if we ain't gonna fuck then get out my life!"

 

[The_411]

You should have ended it months ago. 99.9% likelihood you're in the friendzone.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Well, you shouldn't have to end your FRIENDSHIP with her over you wanting to fvck her. Keep her as a friend and find a different girl to do the RIGHT things with.

 

[Maxtro]

I entered the friendzone back when we were still coworkers, before we ever hung out alone. I automatically join the friendzone with every girl I meet since I'm sexually inexperienced.

If we aren't going to hook up I really don't want to spend time with her because it doesn't feel healthy for me. I don't want to be with something that is just out of my reach, it'll drive me insane. That may change if I am doing other girls. If I don't want to see her anymore I'll have to think of reasons/excuses to say to her when she wants to hang out and I don't want to have to lie. I don't want her to hate me. She did have her use in allowing me to be more comfortable around girls and lose my fear of kinoing them.

 

[Ambition Now]

Hey brother, this happened to me before, I got oneitis with one of my best friends girlfriend, at the time my friend didnt give a sh*t about her and was just f*cking her, we started hanging out a lot and became very close friends, and then oneitis got me...

Here is how i solved this problem: I kept her as a friend and didnt make any moves on her, i respected the fact that she was my friends girl, by the time my friend started treating her as a girlfriend and it hurt as hell to see the girl that i loved in love with my friend, i felt like sh*t at that time, what i did was to not make hanging out with her a priority, my objective was to find other girls to hang out with, i was still friends with both of them, but my focus shifted to find my own girl that i liked...
At the time i didnt have any other girl available like you are now, but one thing i have learned in this forum is that sometimes you have to face the pain of losing the girl you are in love with in order to embrace your personal growth...

After some months i was hanging with other friends and dating other girls, this is what you have to do, dont end a good friendship with a girl because you have feelings for her...

Just back off a litle if you need and get your life fixed... You must have self discipline to do this, not an easy task, but must be done...

Nowadays i am still a really close frind with this girl, but i am no longer in love with her, i still hang out with her but i am more focused on what other girls has to offer me.

 

[DonJuan11]

I have spent a lot of time with this girl (several months) and she is completely comfortable with me, I'm 100% sure that she thinks I'm harmless.

But I'm not and I would love to fuck her. But sense I haven't actually tried to kiss her, maybe I am harmless

Spending time with her, feels empty. The only reasons I hang out with her is because I somehow feel obligated to because were friends and that I really want to get laid and she seems like the only accessible girl I know.

Today I was her emotional support when she got her nose pierced. Then we went grocerey shopping then had lunch. It's like we're dating but it didn't end in sex or a kiss, just another friendly hug.

She wants to spend time with me again tomorrow. She wants to practice driving since she doesn't have her license yet, then were going to come back to my place for the party my roommate is having.

I feel that everything will change tomorrow. Both of us will get a bit drunk and I'll try to make a move. The alcohol is the perfect excuse. Tomorrow has the potential to either go really bad or really good. With my luck it will go bad but I need it to be good.

Since I am her ride there is a huge chance she will be sleeping in my room. I'm not going to drive drunk to her house. If somebody offers her a ride, I'll insist that she stay. The situation will be ideal, I will try but I won't force her. That is of course if I haven't attempted a move earlier in the night.

If we don't hook up I don't want to spend anymore time with her. Spending time with her has been very useful for me. But if we don't do anything I'm going to keep stressing over it. I rather not see her anymore if this is as far as we go. I'll just need to think of better thing to say to her than, "Bitch if we ain't gonna fuck then get out my life!"

$100 you'll continue seeing her after tomorrow.

 

[Ambition Now]

$100 you'll continue seeing her after tomorrow.

1000 bucks you'll continue seeing her after tomorrow. It took some time until i changed my priorities... but seriously, it MUST BE DONE!

If this girl doesnt want anything with you, then you need to hang out with other girls, or, if you dont have any other girls available right now you must give 100% of your dedication to your own life: work out, study, make money, find other girls, any other thing!

If you do what we are telling you to do, in a near future you will be dropping this girl at home to f*ck another girl 10 times hotter and 10 times more interesting than her. Trust me. Thats what happened to me.

 

[WaterTiger]

WHAT?????


You have to get both her and you drunk to make a move????

Tell her this:

"Sorry babe! Can't hang with you tomorrow I have a date with this SMOKIN' chick! I want to bang her SOOOO bad. I'm not passing up my chance. You and I can go driving any time."

She will get jealous AND realize you are a MAN after all. If she fusses tell her you've never thought of her as sexy, more of a sister kind of thing. She needs to SHOW you that she's sexy if she wants a chance with you.

 

[Maxtro]

First of all I don't have oneitis for her. 90% of the time she is the one that calls me. I just go along with her because I usually don't have something better to do. I realize that, that is also a problem. I'm not in love with her, don't want to date her. I just need to hook up with a decent girl who doesn't gross me out.

I know I need to go out and meed other girls but is a whole nother can of worms. It depresses me to say it but I'm tired of meeting new women. I know what level my game is at and until I start progressing I'll just end up making another pointless "friend." I've actually lost count of how many girls I've been "friends" with that didn't lead anywhere. Right now I need to focus on improving myself but I got this girl hanging around who's distracting me.

Thanks WaterTiger for addressing the alcohol issue. It does seem stupid. But honestly if I don't lower my inhibitions I would probably never make a move. I haven't tried to kiss a girl in 5 years. Wow I didn't know it was so long. Obviously I need practice.

BTW thanks for the excuse I could use. But she knows I'm not seeing anybody and she actually would like me to start dating. From now on I guess I can say I'm doing HW or studying.

 

[russell]

dude grab your alpha male by the balls. you're pussin out on most of these chicks. if you like them ****ing pursue them, stop letting yourself get put in the friend zone!

 

[sodbuster]

Read no more MR. nice guy. website of the same name. YOU aren't friends with this girl,you are being nice to try to get laid. TOTALLY different things. You need to be more straightforward with women. Imply you want more than friendship immediately when you meet them.

NOW, with this girl;if it doesn't start moving down that road,tell her "I don't see us as friends, if you aren't interested in a dating relationship;then I don't think we have a future" You just said"put out or get out", but in a more user friendlyterm so she doesn't think you are a total azz. You may hit on a friend of hers in the future and not get "blocked" by her.

 

[Maxtro]

Read no more MR. nice guy. website of the same name. YOU aren't friends with this girl,you are being nice to try to get laid. TOTALLY different things. You need to be more straightforward with women. Imply you want more than friendship immediately when you meet them.

And there we go. That makes 100% sense. I sure have dug myself into a nice hole. Now that I think about it that way I feel like scum.

You need to be more straightforward with women. Imply you want more than friendship immediately when you meet them.

Based on my past failures with women, that is extremely hard to do. I naturally expect to be rejected. I don't actually believe that I can get a girl if I'm open with her. (Wow, my brain needs some serious reprogramming.) And that's why I go the safe "friends" route, that always fails.

At least my friendships are becoming closer and closer to girls. 4 or 5 years ago I was in a very similar "relationship" with a girl. The differences were that I had onitis for her and I was also afraid to touch her. Not once did I ever hug her. With this girl I'm always putting my arms around her. At least I've made some minor progress.

NOW, with this girl;if it doesn't start moving down that road,tell her "I don't see us as friends, if you aren't interested in a dating relationship;then I don't think we have a future" You just said"put out or get out", but in a more user friendlyterm so she doesn't think you are a total azz. You may hit on a friend of hers in the future and not get "blocked" by her.

Yes I need to say that to her. And it's going to fail because that will only result in her getting mad at me. Then I would have blown what ever non-existent chance I never had with her.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I don't understand this -- did you make a move with this girl, or verbally ask her if she wants to kiss you or have sex with her point-blanc? If not, are you expecting her to throw herself at you?

You said that you have not even 'tried' to kiss her. This indicates to me that you have not made any real move.

So, this is your own internal struggle, don't confuse it with the girl.

 

[Maxtro]

I don't understand this -- did you make a move with this girl, or verbally ask her if she wants to kiss you or have sex with her point-blanc?

Of course not. Doing that has as much chance at success as asking somebody for $10,000. I've convinced myself that if I let a girl know I like her, then she will hate me. Because of my childhood and "relationships" with women I "know" that as soon I let a girl know I'm into her, she will instantly disapprove of me.

Unfortunately I haven't been proven wrong yet

You said that you have not even 'tried' to kiss her. This indicates to me that you have not made any real move.

So, this is your own internal struggle, don't confuse it with the girl.

Actually I have tried to make moves on her and other girls. Because I don't like rejection and I'm an introverted person I make very subtle moves. When I go up to a girl and try to start a conversation with her, that is actually me making a move on her. When ever I put my arm around her, that's me making a move. Those things aren't yet natural for me to do. Unfortunately what takes me great effort to do is actually no big deal for most men.

This time last year I was completely uncomfortable hugging girls I knew. Now it's almost natural. I'm hoping that the alcohol will help loosen me up enough to attempt a kiss.

Yes it is my internal struggle, but she is my practice girl. If I get what I want from her, I would have actually archived the number one goal I've had sense I joined this site, which is to have sex with a "normal" girl. What happens after that I don't know. But I'll continue to improve myself without being sex starved.

 

[Scars]

Alright man, let me explain this to you. You can go ahead and make your move, I doubt anything will happen. It might just make things awkward for a bit until you're both ready to talk about it. You just have to start flirting and initiating kino more. You can't just be like "if i don't **** her now, then I'm going to stop talking to her". You've got to be in it for the long haul. Right now she only sees you as a friend. You have to change her perceptions of you and this WONT happen over night.

My best friend is a girl and we have been friends for a long time. We've always been kind of touchy and flirty but it never really went past that. We talk all the time and are good friends. One day we were teasing and playing around and we had a moment and I kissed her. We didn't talk about it until about two days later and we agreed that we don't want to ruin our friendship and that was the last we talked about it. However, we still ended up holding hands, flirting, and what do you know... another kiss happened. Girls will sometimes say one thing with their mouth and their body will go and do the exact opposite. You just have to know how to read these girls. Finally, I just approached her and we talked about it. I told her that she was a really amazing friend and I love having her around but I admitted that I was somewhat emotionally attached and sexually attracted to her she admitted the same thing to me and we agreed to just remain really great friends and keep all the "confusing" stuff secret. So in public we're just really great friends, and when we're alone.. we're a little more than friends.

Point is, this is going to be somewhat of a long process because you've already fallen into the friendzone. You need to let her know you are sexually attracted to her, don't be weird about it but let her know you aren't afraid of your sexuality. Start teasing her more and initiating kino. You're going to go through a weird stage, but you just need to grab it by the balls and get **** done. I would recommend you read this:

http://www.sosuave.com/rondavid/succeed57.htm?forum

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Of course not. Doing that has as much chance at success as asking somebody for $10,000. I've convinced myself that if I let a girl know I like her, then she will hate me.

That's fine, then it's in your own mind. If you can't allow yourself to test reality, then it's an internal issue, not to do with the girl.

Because of my childhood and "relationships" with women I "know" that as soon I let a girl know I'm into her, she will instantly disapprove of me.

If she disapproves of you then it was never meant to be. The sooner you can move on the better it is for you rather than agonizing with all this internal drama. I don't know about you but I hate loose-ends. I like to know if someone is in, or she's out. So, having someone who disapproves of me is better than some false arrangement.

Unfortunately I haven't been proven wrong yet

You were talking about dumping a friendship if you don't get what you want. If she does that for you, then you wont have to worry about that. If she still stick after that, then you'll have to make that choice as to if you really want to continue that friendship.

Sometimes you have to let go of a girl if it's a dead-end because, that means you are seeing her on her terms, you are her b1tch rather than it being a real friendship if it's not mutual. Again, if she dissaproves of you she's done that for you.

Actually I have tried to make moves on her and other girls. Because I don't like rejection and I'm an introverted person I make very subtle moves. When I go up to a girl and try to start a conversation with her, that is actually me making a move on her.

I'm talking about kiss close and fvck close type of moves.

When ever I put my arm around her, that's me making a move. Those things aren't yet natural for me to do. Unfortunately what takes me great effort to do is actually no big deal for most men.

It's a bit deal for me too. But if you put your mind to it, you can work on it and accomplish anything.

This time last year I was completely uncomfortable hugging girls I knew. Now it's almost natural. I'm hoping that the alcohol will help loosen me up enough to attempt a kiss.

Just do it.

Yes it is my internal struggle, but she is my practice girl. If I get what I want from her, I would have actually archived the number one goal I've had sense I joined this site, which is to have sex with a "normal" girl. What happens after that I don't know. But I'll continue to improve myself without being sex starved.

Well, if you want to make a move with her, then make a move and see how that goes.

 

[Maxtro]

Well I didn't try anything. While she was basically next to me the whole time and I was kinoing her constantly and flirting with her, I didn't try to go for the kiss. The alcohol plus having my body against hers definitely made me horny. But I still knew exactly what I was doing and was still scared to try to kiss her. I thought alcohol was supposed to lower you inhibitions. But the only affect it had was to make putting complex sentences together difficult and hard to stand. Since I was hard it was probably better that I didn't stand

I stopped drinking at 9 so I could drive her back around 10:30. Dropped her off, gave her a hug, went back home and climbed right into bed. Then I sent her a text thanking her for coming. After her reply I sent her another one that basically said "It was more fun being there with a girl I like then being there alone. If it was just me I probably would have stayed in my room." She replied, "Ha ha ha I hear ya, u should try to talk to the girl with the purple shirt."

So I told her I liked her and she deflected it. I know I should have shown her instead of told her. Last night was probably my best opportunity to do something with her. I don't know how long it will be till I get another chance like that.

What Scars says makes a lot of sense. Last night didn't change anything and I can see that this will be a long term process. But I'm still waiting for the moment to happen. I guess I just have to be progressively flirty with her as time goes on. I am curious to see how far she lets me go (within reason.)

So no I'm not going to drop the friendship. This thread was very helpful in getting my thoughts out there so I can understand what's in my head and getting some useful advice in return. Thanks guys.

 

[Ambition Now]

Yeah, thats it, like ive said before, start seeing other girls around, you are putting all your eggs on one basket, not a good thing...

If you like to practice some stuff with this girl, start being more ****y and funny, your text message was overly nice, she is the one that should be thanking you for your company, you could have sent something like: "Maybe next time i let you have my company for a longer period of time, you didnt bore me at all like i thought you would. Good night"

But thats it, learning is a proccess and you will get there!

 

[Maxtro]

She is my plan "A" but I'm actively working on plan "B," which is other girls. I'm not as close to them as I am to her but I'm going to keep moving forward with them. Ideally I'd like to have 3-4 girls that I rotate.

I am practicing on her. Now that I've done some things to her I'll have an easier time doing it to other girls. BTW C&F isn't really my style. I do it on some occasions but only when it's natural. I'm not going to plan out what I say and hope it sounds ****y.

I've got a long way to go till I'm the person I want to be, but I'm on the path.

 

[Ambition Now]

Hey Maxtro, good work with your plan B, and I used to suck at C&F, now its just comes out that i dont even realise I am doing it, try to practice everything you can, eye contact, kino, body language, C&F with every girl you have an interaction with, in the begining you will feel weird doing this things, but after sometime you become good and will be able to find your own style of doing it.