Should I Dump My Girlfriend?

[kaitracid2010]

guys i decided to go ghost & never contact her again... instead of sending her a text dumping her... i just did not want any form of contact again.


anyway she sent me this text this morning..

"you obviously didnt care much about me & my kids.. i will leave your things outside your door on wednesday, i hope you find what you are looking for. take care"



once again, she is laying the blame on me, and manipulating the situation... it was her cruel actions that lead to this situation.


i have not replied back to her... but now i feel angry about going ghost... maybe i should have just text her & just dumped her!!!!


but 5 days had gone by, without any kind of contact from her, so i felt maybe i should carry on, staying no contact & just not bother with her... now i feel like i should have dumped her...


anyhow i am thinking about sending her this text...


"I never thought about you & your kids... it was you who fvked me off & told me to stop at my flat & i heard nothing from you since that day.
anyway i am not putting up with your behaviour any longer & i do not want to see you.. leave my things outside my door, good luck


THEN I GO GHOST & NEVER EVER CONTACT HER AGAIN

 

[zinc4]

ignore her petty messages...keep going ghost forever..you will feel strong after some time has passed...no contact is a great personal challenge that helps build inner game.....you might not think so now, but this is very good for you...

 

[kaitracid2010]

ignore her petty messages...keep going ghost forever..you will feel strong after some time has passed...no contact is a great personal challenge that helps build inner game.....you might not think so now, but this is very good for you...

i knew she would not apologise, or make any attempt to fix things.. it's a repeated cycle, she always bails out with some crappy excuse blaming me.

anyhow, since the day she fvked me off, i have made zero contact with her...

is staying ghost the way forward? i feel like i should let her know, i am 100% done with her

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

i knew she would not apologise, or make any attempt to fix things.. it's a repeated cycle, she always bails out with some crappy excuse blaming me.

anyhow, since the day she fvked me off, i have made zero contact with her...

is staying ghost the way forward? i feel like i should let her know, i am 100% done with her

No, do not contact her. Don't tell her what you think of her behavior.

Nothing.

Nada.

Her hamster will spin. She'll probably contact you eventually for some sort of validation on her part. She wants to know she got to you.

Don't let her.

Don't respond to anything she sends you.

Delete her number.

Delete her facebook.

Don't answer any calls from her.

Nothing.

It will get easier over time. Trust us on this.

You'll gradually feel better about yourself as you begin to realize you didn't let her control the frame and get to you.

Eventually, you probably even start to laugh and feel sorry for her as she tries to contact you. This is when you know no contact has worked in both directions: (1) for you, you're getting over it all and keeping self-respect, (2) for her, you are seeing that now no contact has given you higher value than her and it is driving her nuts. She wants a show of bitterness from your end to prove to her that you were the chump she wanted you to be.

Contacting her and/or telling her off will validate her judgement on you. Don't give it to her.

 

[-Gripz-]

Wow, what a b!tch this girl is. You just saved yourself from a world of pure torture with this broad. She isn't worth your time, never speak with her again.

 

[kaitracid2010]

Wow, what a b!tch this girl is. You just saved yourself from a world of pure torture with this broad. She isn't worth your time, never speak with her again.

trust me.. she is one cruel, b!tchy cold human being.. have put up with loads of crap from her..

i know what you guys are saying... stay ghost


the thing is, i don't want this woman in my life ever again... so i am not too bothered about her texting or calling me, so i can laugh at her


i am very very tempted to send her this message


"the reason why i have not been intouch is, because i am not willing to put up with your crappy behaviour anymore, and i do not want to see you again, it is over.
please leave my items outside my house.. thank you


damn i am so tempted to send her this!!!

then i can back off, change my mobile number & ignore this bish for life!

i guarentee she will be on POF within a week or two

 

[Atom Smasher]

The worst thing you can do is to let her know you are affected by her. A woman will ALWAYS, 100% of the time, use that to justify herself and it will completely release the tension inside of her.

There exist only one way and one way only to discipline and punish a woman... and that is removal of attention. Attention is her only currency. Verbalizing anything at all is shooting yourself in the foot because she will turn anything you say against you.

Only if she approaches you and wants to know what happened is it ok to say that you find her behavior inconsistent with what you want in life and are therefore no longer interested in her. If it comes to that, you would want to say it in an absolutely detached, unaffected way. She will be desperately looking for a glimmer of caring in you, which will feed her monster ego.

For now, resist the temptation and stay ghost. Believe me, the pressure is building up in her every day as the hamster runs. If you contact her like you are tempted to you will deeply regret it. It's like handing her 6 more bullets for her handgun. Don't do it.

You're floating it by us to see if it's ok. It's NOT. I guarantee regret if you do it. You have the power now and you can lose it in a split second.

 

[the_untold_history]

she dumped you Twice and you went back thus establishing her as the PRIZE and you as the Chump who can't live without this "prize" in your life. That frame is now dominant. She is the prize. you are the chump. And this is how she treats you. You got oneitis with a chick who was basically indifferent to you. This is a movie that gets rerun over and over and over on these forums. Exit and learn from this.

 

[the_untold_history]

i am very very tempted to send her this message


"the reason why i have not been intouch is, because i am not willing to put up with your crappy behaviour anymore, and i do not want to see you again, it is over.
please leave my items outside my house.. thank you


damn i am so tempted to send her this!!!

then i can back off, change my mobile number & ignore this bish for life!

i guarentee she will be on POF within a week or two

No the reason you want to send her this is because you still CRAVE contact with her. That's why you have still left the lines of communication Wide open. You can't close them because that would mean you would never hear from your little dove ever again. And that would be disastrous for you. You want to send that message and you will see how she responds. You are still addicted to this relationship. And thus still under her spell.

 

[JoeMarron]

Let me reiterate what the others have said so you get it. DO NOT CONTACT HER. If you wanna get back at her no contact is the best way to do it. You'll probably ignore all of us and do it anyways though. Some people have to learn the hard way.

 

[kaitracid2010]

The worst thing you can do is to let her know you are affected by her. A woman will ALWAYS, 100% of the time, use that to justify herself and it will completely release the tension inside of her.

There exist only one way and one way only to discipline and punish a woman... and that is removal of attention. Attention is her only currency. Verbalizing anything at all is shooting yourself in the foot because she will turn anything you say against you.

Only if she approaches you and wants to know what happened is it ok to say that you find her behavior inconsistent with what you want in life and are therefore no longer interested in her. If it comes to that, you would want to say it in an absolutely detached, unaffected way. She will be desperately looking for a glimmer of caring in you, which will feed her monster ego.

For now, resist the temptation and stay ghost. Believe me, the pressure is building up in her every day as the hamster runs. If you contact her like you are tempted to you will deeply regret it. It's like handing her 6 more bullets for her handgun. Don't do it.

You're floating it by us to see if it's ok. It's NOT. I guarantee regret if you do it. You have the power now and you can lose it in a split second.

i see what you are saying atom smasher & i do appreciate your advice... and everybody else who has adviced me on here.. i am glad i found this forum.


and you know what, i will follow it through!!

the thing is, i went ghost on her 5 days ago... so in her mind, she knew i have detached myself from this relationship... in some way, it could be said, i dumped her without even having to text, email, or even use any words!!

simply the fact that i have not bothered with her or responded to her in anyway, i think will speak volumes to her

the last time she did this to me... i did not respond... i stayed ghost, then she sent me an email... i ignored this email... then another email... this got ignored too...

within a couple of days, she had sent me nearly 30 emails, of which i ignored all of them, but eventualy this cruel woman, suckerd me back in somehow

i will remain no contact.. i think my silence will say it all


my biggest problem at the moment is, i do not have any close friends or family who can help me, or guide me with this situtaion. so i am glad to get some advice on here

 

[SpazzAttackk]

Holy **** she really has your balls in her purse eh?

Expand your social circle. Meet people at work, go out once in awhile to the bar or clubbing. Try and get into other friends circle of friends etc and youll see a big change in your lifestyle.
You have to let go. You have to take risks in life. TBH lettering her go isnt even a risk, just do it.

 

[kaitracid2010]

she dumped you Twice and you went back thus establishing her as the PRIZE and you as the Chump who can't live without this "prize" in your life. That frame is now dominant. She is the prize. you are the chump. And this is how she treats you. You got oneitis with a chick who was basically indifferent to you. This is a movie that gets rerun over and over and over on these forums. Exit and learn from this.

she dumped me once & that was because i would not open myself upto her emotionaly... i never told her i loved her, or kiss her ass, so she left he relationship

the second time around, i dumped her for being dis respectful... but we got back together after some months

and yes recently i have let her get away with a bit too much.. but i can't turn back the time... i will learn from this

the reality is, she was never a good woman from the offset... she was always a flawed charecter!

for the past 3 months she has been pestering me to move in with her, get engaged with her etc... so believe me, i could be in a lot worse situation with her.

i will 100% stick with no contact

 

[kaitracid2010]

Holy **** she really has your balls in her purse eh?

Expand your social circle. Meet people at work, go out once in awhile to the bar or clubbing. Try and get into other friends circle of friends etc and youll see a big change in your lifestyle.
You have to let go. You have to take risks in life. TBH lettering her go isnt even a risk, just do it.

i have let go... i have not attempted to make any form of contact with her over the last 5 days & will not contact her again

 

[the_untold_history]

she dumped me once & that was because i would not open myself upto her emotionaly... i never told her i loved her, or kiss her ass, so she left he relationship

the second time around, i dumped her for being dis respectful... but we got back together after some months

and yes recently i have let her get away with a bit too much.. but i can't turn back the time... i will learn from this

the reality is, she was never a good woman from the offset... she was always a flawed charecter!

for the past 3 months she has been pestering me to move in with her, get engaged with her etc... so believe me, i could be in a lot worse situation with her.

i will 100% stick with no contact

dude in your first post you say she dumped you twice. it's right there. And let me fill you in on no contact. If you are reading her emails and texts you are in contact. You may think you are detached. But you aren't. You did this before. You ignored her but kept reading her emails. Over and over again. She broke you down. And she can do it again. The real test is can you send her messages to trash? can you block her texts? can you cut off contact at the root? If you can't, then you are on dangerous ground.

 

[kaitracid2010]

dude in your first post you say she dumped you twice. it's right there. And let me fill you in on no contact. If you are reading her emails and texts you are in contact. You may think you are detached. But you aren't. You did this before. You ignored her but kept reading her emails. Over and over again. She broke you down. And she can do it again. The real test is can you send her messages to trash? can you block her texts? can you cut off contact at the root? If you can't, then you are on dangerous ground.

i will absoloutly cut her out of my life.... it has taken some time for me to relaise, but this woman is complete scum, i rather spend my life on my own to be with someone like her.


i just feel an idiot for putting up with her crap...


i just wanted your opinon guys..

since the day she told me not to bother coming over & stop at my flat... i have not made any attempt to contact her... non at all, complete ghost


even when she tetx me, saying she will leave my items outside my door... i did not respond.

she is acting liek the victim here... does she genuinly believe she is the victim, do woman actually believe in there own bullshiit?

also the fact that i have not responded at all, will that be bothering her

 

[kaitracid2010]

also i still have this burning urge to text her & tell her that the reason i didn not get back intouch with her, is because i do not want to be with her & not putting up with her crap! then i GHOST

I kind of think, that text to her will make me feel better & also she will realise i want nothing to do with her & she means nothing to me now.

she will feel the rejection?

i see the point you guys are making about no contact... but isn't no contact for people who want to get over there exe's because they still wanted to be with them, but got dumnped? or they are using no contact to get back with there ex

in my case i had decided i do not want to be with her anymore

 

[kaitracid2010]

If you contact her, you will regret it. You will have given your power away, yet again

i won't contact her... was it a mistake on my part to go ghost on her for good? i should i had text her & dumped her

 

[kaitracid2010]

i seriously intetnd to spend alot of time on this forum & learn as much as i can. i cannot repeat this mistake ever again

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

also i still have this burning urge to text her & tell her that the reason i didn not get back intouch with her, is because i do not want to be with her & not putting up with her crap! then i GHOST

I kind of think, that text to her will make me feel better & also she will realise i want nothing to do with her & she means nothing to me now.

she will feel the rejection?

i see the point you guys are making about no contact... but isn't no contact for people who want to get over there exe's because they still wanted to be with them, but got dumnped? or they are using no contact to get back with there ex

in my case i had decided i do not want to be with her anymore

Damn, dude, you are just not getting it, are you?

You are freaking itching to contact her and "get the last word" or something or another cathartic.

Stop it.

You are obsessing over this girl still. That much is clear.

You say you are through, but you are not.

You really haven't walked away, mentally, emotionally. You are still invested in what this girl thinks about you and the relationship.

Look, she's probably already moved on. Swung from your branch to another guy's.

Wanna know what will happen if you send your needy "I'm better than you" text? She'll sneer, laugh, show it to her girlfriends, and they'll all have a giggle trashing your beta-azz. "I can't believe I ever fvcked that loser!!! What a chode!!!"

You will not inflict ANY DAMAGE on her ego. Women like her are rarely capable of reflection, remorse, or any sense of responsibility.

You are not done with her, but she is done with you.

And, since you are still emotionally hung up on her and want to inflict some damage, YOUR ONLY CHANCE OF THAT IS NO CONTACT.

No contact is first and foremost a method for the guy to get over her, move on, get her toxicity out of his life.

A secondary result is sometimes, but not always, no contact will make her hamster spin. In such cases, she'll want to contact you in a way that provokes a reaction from you that confirms either what a loser you are and/or what a good decision she made and she's still a good person.

You seem to want both results, right? You want to move on and you want a little psychological jab at her, to make your ego feel like some sort of victor was achieved.

WELL, START LISTENING TO THIS DAMN BOARD AND STOP YOUR OWN HAMSTER SPINNING.

We've told you over, and over, and over.... NO CONTACT.

That's your best/only strategy.

But, here you are again telling us you are again tempted to send her some needy, whiny, "you dumb b!tch" text....

Pathetic.

She should have dumped you. Your cajones need a little enlarging. And, as counter-intuitive it might seem to you know, no contact is a step toward growing a pair of balls fitting a man.

A text telling her off one last time is beta as all get out...it's passive aggressive and childish.

Be a man. Move on. Hold your head up and keep your self-respect.

Trust us. You'll regret that text the moment you hit "send."

You'll feel better about yourself and feel your victory if you just move on. This might be a bit down the road, but it will happen.

Send text = instant defeat
No contact = long-term victory

The choice is yours.

And I am done with this thread.