should I dump her or wait?

[ztas]

hi guys

guess this question comes up quite often...

In a 2.5 LTR. She's about to leave (in 3 weeks) to go overseas for ever. On top of that it's a long-distance relationship at present (though soon to be far-more-long-distance!)

For many reasons I cannot go with her, and nor can she stay.

I'm getting depressed now that instead of seeming to want to spend more time with me (which I see as precious now given the limited time left), she's so busy with packing up and everything.

I've tried to rationalise things by saying she's busy, but surely I could expect at least a call or SMS now and then during the day.

So... should I just give her the goodbye (and will that really salvage some pride for me?) or should I just let things pan out?

I guess the risk of saying 'goodbye' is that I could be throwing away something that 'might' continue in the future... Also perhaps it would seem to her as being callous or uncaring to break off with her during her busiest time?

I don't ask for much, but perhaps it's too much for her now. I'm so horribly distracted at sleep and at work during the day. Thoughts of whether I should give her the 'flick' or wait, keep flowing through my head and depressing me.

I don't know what to do....

Ztas

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I'd still keep her on the hook. There's really no point in breaking up with her. In your mind you should know that it's over though. Keep her thinking about you and send her the odd email. She may fall deeply in love with you and move back someday. Tough situation though.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

She is soon going to be your "friend overseas", not a relationship. There's no "dumping" involved, it just is.

 

[MightyMate]

Dont dump. Tell her you are still toghether but get on with other chicks. DOnt burn the bridge.

 

[ztas]

hi guys

great responses so far. I'm actually pleasantly surprised by the number supporting the continuation (within reason) of the relationship.

Deep down I want that too, but I guess from past experiences with other females, I'm scared of being 'dumped'!!!

Guess that really is my own insecurity (ie wanting to dump before being dumped)

Z

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I'm surprised you had a long-distance relationship in the first place. I have a rule: don't date anyone outside of one-hour from your home.

Then again, if you were able to have a LDR with her, and stay together for 2.5 years, then maybe something is there.

And by the way, you have been together for 2.5 years. Get off your azz and marry her already or break up.

Ztas, if the depression is there now, and she hasn't even left yet, it's going to get worse, probably much worse, when you know things are final. Think about that. How does it feel? Make up your mind man.

 

[flexion_]

I don't see any reason to burn any bridges.

Its obvious that your are breaking up so you don't necessarily need to say it.