Should I cancel or should I go?

[confusedman1234]

1) made move on girl. she was obvi physically into me, but couldnt do it because it's "complicated" w some other dude. they're not gf/bf, but they're obvi hanging out. decided not to force it. left w/nothing.

2) gave her space.

3) IMd her a week later, saying i wanted to take her out. she apologized (on her own) for not contacting me, saying she needed time to process things. agreed to go out with me (though i think i strong armed her into it).

4) found out from friend that she and dude were hanging out yest. she and i are supposed to be going out this week.

feel like none of this bodes well for me. thinking of canceling altogether and next-ing her. she's not some new acquaintance. we'd been flirting for months. jsut never made my move because i didnt realize i liked her until late.

 

[confusedman1234]

some context. we had already gone on two "dates" before. only chose to drop info about this dude after i made the move...

 

[Tiguere]

In this day and age you should assume girls are spinning plates.

 

[ARrocket]

1) What kind of "move" did you make? Are you referring to a physical advance, like trying to kiss her? Hopefully.

2) Like Tiguere said, if you are (you should) spinning plates, why can't she? You're not dating her, so it's none of your business.

3) What do you want from this girl? Even if she is casually seeing this other guy, doesn't mean you can't sleep with her.

4) If you're the better catch, eventually, she'll drop him. So, be the better catch.

5) Don't let jealousy impact your decision-making with this girl.

6) As per number (2), make sure you're spinning plates so you don't become outcome-dependent with this chick!

 

[confusedman1234]

Yes, I tried to kiss her. Not jealous of the guy she hung out with. Just wondering whether taht changes things.

next date will be #3 i guess. any goals? i guess kissing is out of the Q, but i dont want to be friendzoned. im just thinking of being my usual lighthearted, flirty, push pull, mysterious self. nothing serious.

 

[LoneWolf]

if you don't get at least a kiss after a 3rd date it's safe to assume it's over. you shouldn't just cut off contact, just put her on the bottom of your list. but to me, if you can't get a kiss by a 3rd date.... meh.

 

[confusedman1234]

eh her whole thing is that she doesnt do that with more than one guy. im inclined to take her at her word. very classy girl, though im of course very sketpical. dont want to be led on, and dont want to follow her like a guy on a leash waiting for some love.

never been in this sitch before. guy is sleezebag (when is he not?) and is going to burn her either way. she knows this, which is why even she cant call him her bf.

edit: I also take as a bad sign that she didnt contact me (despite apologizing me for not doing so). seems like if she was interested enough, and she processed things, she wouldnt have let that fall on the backburner. but she's also shy...

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

i would just keep trying to put moves on her.. just don't waste too much time that's all. look for other girls and keep her on the side in a very limited way.

 

[PDubb75]

eh her whole thing is that she doesnt do that with more than one guy. im inclined to take her at her word. very classy girl, though im of course very sketpical. dont want to be led on, and dont want to follow her like a guy on a leash waiting for some love.

If she only "does that" with 1 guy, and that guy is not you, why are you still spending your time with her? The more she tells you that, and you still hang around her, the less value you show her.

That's like a girl telling a guy "I want us to be together, now just isn't the best time" and the guy sits there waiting for that time while she goes through 5 other guys without giving him a thought.

 

[confusedman1234]

If she only "does that" with 1 guy, and that guy is not you, why are you still spending your time with her? The more she tells you that, and you still hang around her, the less value you show her.

it's been two weeks since ive last seen her, so i havent spent that much time with her. my impression is that now that a better option is on the table, she should be working on endingthings with this dude. since they were seen together on saturday, im concerned that this isnt happening. hence why i should just pull out now, cut my losses, and move on.

 

[SharinganUser]

You are wasting your time and by extension ours by asking for advice about this.

 

[ARrocket]

i guess kissing is out of the Q, but i dont want to be friendzoned.

:crackup:
HAHA

It's funny because this is EXACTLY what is going to get you friendzoned.

You gotta go for the kiss again. You have to show her you're man enough to go after what you want.

She says she won't be kissing more than one guy. Girls say a lot of things. One of the cliches of this forum is "Judge a woman by her actions, not her words." IF you turn her on enough (through YOUR actions, YOUR attitude, YOUR words, etc), she WILL kiss you. So, you run your game as usual. And you escalate. And either she rejects you, in which case it's over with this chick, or, you win.

 

[confusedman1234]

:crackup:
HAHA

It's funny because this is EXACTLY what is going to get you friendzoned.

You gotta go for the kiss again. You have to show her you're man enough to go after what you want.

She says she won't be kissing more than one guy. Girls say a lot of things. One of the cliches of this forum is "Judge a woman by her actions, not her words." IF you turn her on enough (through YOUR actions, YOUR attitude, YOUR words, etc), she WILL kiss you. So, you run your game as usual. And you escalate. And either she rejects you, in which case it's over with this chick, or, you win.

fair enough. all my moves will escalate toward that, so im not super worried i guess.

Edit: i was just planning on not going for hte kiss again i guess, at leat until i had an update on this guy.

 

[r0cky]

You fell asleep at the wheel my man. In pick up, a girl's "situation" is completely irrelevant. I dont know how tight your game is, but all you can do now is run some resurrection game and plow until you get blown or get blown out.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Ahhh another newbie, missing one of the basic skills necessary in understanding women. I might be the mayor of this phrase here, but I'll say it again:

NEVER BELIEVE A GIRL'S WORDS, FOR HER TRUE INTENTIONS WATCH HER ACTIONS!


This girl has low interest in you, however she is LOVING the mountain of attention you are giving her, so she continues to take you up on your offers for dates (free dinner, free movies, free night out, why not?), while giving you back NOTHING in return. You then go home, over-analyze every bit of her words, that might give you a thought that there is a glimmer of hope, cling to that and then continue this vicious cycle.

She actually said "I don't do that with more than one guy" in reference to KISSING??? LOL Think about that for a second, how could you buy that crock of sheeet?

Again this girl is playing you like a fiddle, your already in the friend-zone, you don't realize it yet.




PIMP

 

[confusedman1234]

Lol we've gone on two dates and I didn't buy her jack either time. We split everything. And I def don't shower her w attention. I contacted her one week after making my move and am meeting her this week, which is 2 weeks since wr last met. I don't plan to contact her befor then.

Re action vs words: totally right, but this goes my way. She SAID she couldn't do it, but her body showed she was DTF. I just didn't want to bE a guy who couldn't take no for an answer. Possibly a mistake in retrospect, but I'm not sure I regret it.

So save this noob bs for someone else.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Lol we've gone on two dates and I didn't buy her jack either time. We split everything. And I def don't shower her w attention. I contacted her one week after making my move and am meeting her this week, which is 2 weeks since wr last met. I don't plan to contact her befor then.

Re action vs words: totally right, but this goes my way. She SAID she couldn't do it, but her body showed she was DTF. I just didn't want to bE a guy who couldn't take no for an answer. Possibly a mistake in retrospect, but I'm not sure I regret it.

So save this noob bs for someone else.

So you think just because you didn't pay for her stuff that your not making noob moves? Two weeks in between seeing each other and somehow you believe there's enough interest on her part? Hmmmmm....

Because last I checked your chasing a girl who consistently has excuses for you and somehow you've been brainwashed into believing them. Your in this boat because there is not enough attraction or lack there of, not because of your failure to escalate etc etc. Not the end of the world, just move on. Your not the primary option....

But since you won't, please do come back and tell us all once you gut this byatch, I won't be holding my breath.





PIMP

 

[The_411]

You know you know a girl is lying? Her lips are moving ....

Again we're not trying to give you noob advice, w're merely illustrating to you that since we've been through it and seen it we already know what's going to happen.

When a girl is throwning up excuses and defenses you either navigate through them or you get friendzoned. Suffice to say you haven't pushed through any of her bullspit. She's basically tossing you scraps and you're eating it up... thinking it's filet mignon.

When a girl gives you an excuse assume she's blowing you off until she proves that she's willing to make it up to you. When excuses happen multiple times you're already toast.

It's up to you you can continue to waste time or you can drop it (the prudent thing to do) and spend your energy elsewhere. Please jsut don't come back here and cry how she's friendzoned you ...

 

[r0cky]

When a girl gives you an excuse assume she's blowing you off until she proves that she's willing to make it up to you.

This might be true, but even if she's blowing you off, dont treat a flake as the end. Give it a few days and try again. Three strikes and she's out.