should i be worried my gf is so private?

[blackwolf]

she recently just joined facebook. she keeps setting every strict. like now our relationship status is hidden from her wall. she deleted all her wall posts too. removed her profile picture to a waterfall. i dont know whats goin on in her mind. when i ask about it she changes the subject. am i being too serious about this or am i in the right to wonder? she wont even tell me her age. i know shes a lot older but still. she said soon she will.

 

[runner83]

Don't waste time wondering about what a girl is thinking, if it is only in the early stages

The only questions that matter:

* Are you banging her?

* How many times a day?

 

[blackwolf]

wow. is that all u guys think about on here? i really like this one. she is a virgin so no im not yet. i feel like im the only guy here who actually WANTS to be in love rather than just fuk as many girls i can all my life. seriously. where are those guys?

 

[Fuglydude]

Don't over think stuff man... worrying never helps the situation. We need more details though.

What's the Hx between you guys?

 

[runner83]

wow. is that all u guys think about on here? i really like this one. she is a virgin so no im not yet. i feel like im the only guy here who actually WANTS to be in love rather than just fuk as many girls i can all my life. seriously. where are those guys?

You say she is a fair bit older but still a virgin? I'm not calling her a liar, but if she is older than 20, there is a better than even chance that she may not be telling the full truth.

Yes, we need more details.

The reason I used the s!x example is because a woman's actions are the ONLY reliable indicator of her interest in you.

If you guys were banging 1 or more times a day and there was good chemistry between you, then I would say, ignore the facebook and secrecy stuff, it means nothing.

Whereas in your example, WHERE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD S!X YET, this facebook stuff and secrecy is an indicator of interest that is rapidly waning.

S!xual attraction is not a negotiation, it is spontaneous. If she truly was attracted to you, it would have happened by now. Whereas she is apparently keeping it as a reward (eventually having s!x) to keep you on the leash.

That, and your response to my post, which is trending dangerously towards oneitis and neediness for this girl you haven't even phucked yet, and I don't see it working out well.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but there is no point sugar coating it.

There is more info you need to read AND FAST, as soon as I find it, I'll post it.

 

[runner83]

OP, read this urgently: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90482

I'm not ruling this girl out categorically, but you also need to be seeing and (preferably) banging other girls at the same time.

Otherwise, the oneitis and neediness for this chick already evident in your writing will take full root and you'll be kicked to the kerb before you know it.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to ƒuck you will find a way to ƒuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who ƒucked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.

 

[blackwolf]

you guys are all the same with ur bang this girl bang that girl. you need to bang other girls. wtf??? im pretty sure shes not ur average kind of woman. she is asian. older than me and has told me more than once shes a virgin. why lie about that at such an older age? not every female in this world has lost their virginity early. there ARE some still around. and enough with the fuking and s3xing bullsh!t already. been there done that. over it. im seriously just wanting a relationship that doesnt just invole in us fuking. i love s3x but hey. im ready to settle with a nice woman. and so far shes been the sweetest thing.

im not in love or anythng yet and i still got her in the coky fun game when we talk. we like to tease each other s3xually and all. but yeah. id like to get more than just s3x from her u know. shes different. she has morals. shes one if them old age romantic ppl who dont go round fuking guys in her teens. shes a very good woman and ill hang around a while longer to see what happens. s3x is just the bonus of a relationship. dont u guys care about love anymore?? u all just wanna stick ur dik in them and thats it??? *sigh*

 

[cordoncordon]

you guys are all the same with ur bang this girl bang that girl. you need to bang other girls. wtf??? im pretty sure shes not ur average kind of woman. she is asian. older than me and has told me more than once shes a virgin. why lie about that at such an older age? not every female in this world has lost their virginity early. there ARE some still around. and enough with the fuking and s3xing bullsh!t already. been there done that. over it. im seriously just wanting a relationship that doesnt just invole in us fuking. i love s3x but hey. im ready to settle with a nice woman. and so far shes been the sweetest thing.

im not in love or anythng yet and i still got her in the coky fun game when we talk. we like to tease each other s3xually and all. but yeah. id like to get more than just s3x from her u know. shes different. she has morals. shes one if them old age romantic ppl who dont go round fuking guys in her teens. shes a very good woman and ill hang around a while longer to see what happens. s3x is just the bonus of a relationship. dont u guys care about love anymore?? u all just wanna stick ur dik in them and thats it??? *sigh*

Oh my. No offense but you sound delusional.

As for what she is doing on facebook? Yeah, she is acting shady. Something up there, but don't know what. Probably dating other guys is my guess. For sure hiding something though. I am sure you are aware that 99.99999% of most girls, when they get in a new relationship, do everything in their power to show off their new guy, not hide him. Be wary with your emotions here.

 

[runner83]

Ok, sport, do it your way.

We are only trying to help you for your own good.

If you're willing to put up with a girl who you haven't slept with acting secretive and not even acknowledging that you are a couple (which in my mind is correct, since you haven't even had s!x yet), that's your choice.

Just remember, you are calling her "girlfriend"...what does she call you when you are out with her and her friends? Or has she kept you hidden from them?

Just a thought.

 

[jhl]

Oh my. No offense but you sound delusional.

As for what she is doing on facebook? Yeah, she is acting shady. Something up there, but don't know what. Probably dating other guys is my guess. For sure hiding something though. I am sure you are aware that 99.99999% of most girls, when they get in a new relationship, do everything in their power to show off their new guy, not hide him. Be wary with your emotions here.

I'll have to disagree with this statement. I know a significant # of girls who do not post their relationship status on facebook (even if the relationship has been long term) because of their fear of their relationships being exposed to family members (strict family) or because they don't want to deal with a public status update of a breakup in the case it happens.

I noticed that OP's girl is Asian. Are you non-Asian? If so what is your ethnicity? Many Asian parents are xenophobic (with heavy biases against certain ethnic groups) and in many instances there are repercussions that she should have to deal with if the relationship is exposed to her family. From her perspective, this is a very legit reason for her to hide everything on FB. My advice is to the OP is stop being paranoid and analyze the situation carefully through her body language. Body language tells all, but some can be very challenging as some Asians put on tough guards and poker faces that makes it extremely difficult to get a feel of their buying temperatures.

If she is the conservative "virgin" Asian girl type as you say (and believe me folks, there are quite a lot of Asian virgins, I can even find a few in the late 20s and even early 30s who are decent looking), you will have to take it slower. With conservative Asians it's a whole different ball game from the f*ck on the first date advices you get on the forum.

Can you elaborate on her background? (country of origin, when she came to USA (or whether she was born here), religion, group of friends she hangs out with, what she does for fun on the weekends, age etc...). Although I can't be 100% certain, I can provide you the most probable type that she would fit into based on the info you tell me. The extent of my knowledge applies to most Taiwanese, mainland Chinese, Korean, and Japanese girls. However, I'm not familiar enough with SE Asians to give you advice in that department.

 

[chance]

jhl: thank you for understanding.

JUST SO YOU OTHER GUYS KNOW. SHE DOES CALL ME HER BOYFRIEND/MAN. yes, even infront of people. she calls me hun and babe etc. i made a mistake about the hiding status part. my phone wasnt showing it. she has me as her boyfriend on her facebook... my bad. she had her photos up too but i think she set privacy on it so her pics arent showing anymore but thats fine. also sometimes deletes her wall messages. comments on my status, pictures etc so people can see that too. she won't tell me her last name or age yet.. thats about the only things she's not telling me.

this thread has turned into something else now... a lot of people don't know that asians are a whole different kind of game. they just think about having s3x all the time with b1tches. i mean hey that's cool and all. ive had my fun too. but i really like this one. it's the fact that she's different than most girls who just put out on the first, second date. it's kind of a turn on that she doesnt put out so quick.

now on to the real info;
i am not sure what kind of asian she is. i think singapore or malaysia but i am not sure. she is mixed with french too. she hangs out with older women than her who drink and party, (she is the designated driver - she doesn't drink or smoke) - so she just likes to help out. she even hangs out with her god father. she doesn't really have "fun" apart from friendly parties and karaoke sometimes. she plays ps3 with me too often so that's fun. she's just seriously a really nice woman, and im not getting sucked into her like a wuss, so dont worry. i know how to play my game. i am just trying to say that she's not the usual type of woman you guys seems to know.

 

[cordoncordon]

I'll have to disagree with this statement. I know a significant # of girls who do not post their relationship status on facebook (even if the relationship has been long term) because of their fear of their relationships being exposed to family members (strict family) or because they don't want to deal with a public status update of a breakup in the case it happens.

I noticed that OP's girl is Asian. Are you non-Asian? If so what is your ethnicity? Many Asian parents are xenophobic (with heavy biases against certain ethnic groups) and in many instances there are repercussions that she should have to deal with if the relationship is exposed to her family. From her perspective, this is a very legit reason for her to hide everything on FB. My advice is to the OP is stop being paranoid and analyze the situation carefully through her body language. Body language tells all, but some can be very challenging as some Asians put on tough guards and poker faces that makes it extremely difficult to get a feel of their buying temperatures.

If she is the conservative "virgin" Asian girl type as you say (and believe me folks, there are quite a lot of Asian virgins, I can even find a few in the late 20s and even early 30s who are decent looking), you will have to take it slower. With conservative Asians it's a whole different ball game from the f*ck on the first date advices you get on the forum.

Can you elaborate on her background? (country of origin, when she came to USA (or whether she was born here), religion, group of friends she hangs out with, what she does for fun on the weekends, age etc...). Although I can't be 100% certain, I can provide you the most probable type that she would fit into based on the info you tell me. The extent of my knowledge applies to most Taiwanese, mainland Chinese, Korean, and Japanese girls. However, I'm not familiar enough with SE Asians to give you advice in that department.

I'm as white as the snow in MI. Grew up in the Midwest. And coincidentally, have been dating an Asian girl here in CA for 2 years now. So I have an idea about Asian families and their conservatism. She moved here from Taiwan when she was 6, so she is kind of in the middle when it comes to having a Western/American and an Asian view on things. FYI She has never hid our relationship, to her family or anyone, from day one. Though I do realize that some Asian families would have an issue with their daughter dating someone outside of their own race.

OP I read your last post about the facebook pics/status. If all that is true, then I would say you are over reacting and you should just play things cool from here on out and have fun. Though I still think she is hiding some things. For what reasons I have no idea.

 

[SharinganUser]

she recently just joined facebook. she keeps setting every strict. like now our relationship status is hidden from her wall. she deleted all her wall posts too. removed her profile picture to a waterfall. i dont know whats goin on in her mind. when i ask about it she changes the subject. am i being too serious about this or am i in the right to wonder? she wont even tell me her age. i know shes a lot older but still. she said soon she will.

jhl: thank you for understanding.

JUST SO YOU OTHER GUYS KNOW. SHE DOES CALL ME HER BOYFRIEND/MAN. yes, even infront of people. she calls me hun and babe etc. i made a mistake about the hiding status part. my phone wasnt showing it. she has me as her boyfriend on her facebook... my bad. she had her photos up too but i think she set privacy on it so her pics arent showing anymore but thats fine. also sometimes deletes her wall messages. comments on my status, pictures etc so people can see that too. i may of exaggerated about the private part.

this thread has turned into something else now... a lot of people don't know that asians are a whole different kind of game. they just think about having s3x all the time with b1tches. i mean hey that's cool and all. ive had my fun too. but i really like this one. it's the fact that she's different than most girls who just put out on the first, second date. it's kind of a turn on that she doesnt put out so quick.

now on to the real info;
i am not sure what kind of asian she is. i think singapore or malaysia but i am not sure. she is mixed with french too. she hangs out with older women than her who drink and party, (she is the designated driver - she doesn't drink or smoke) - so she just likes to help out. she even hangs out with her god father. she doesn't really have "fun" apart from friendly parties and karaoke sometimes. she plays ps3 with me too often so that's fun. she's just seriously a really nice woman, and im not getting sucked into her like a wuss, so dont worry. i know how to play my game. i am just trying to say that she's not the usual type of woman you guys seems to know.

Multiple Accounts???

Oops wrong account.

 

[PapiChulo]

f*k yeah ^^^^^^ fail.



Regarding the tread: put it into context, this seems like an exception to the general rule.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You say she is a fair bit older but still a virgin? I'm not calling her a liar, but if she is older than 20, there is a better than even chance that she may not be telling the full truth.

Yes, we need more details.

The reason I used the s!x example is because a woman's actions are the ONLY reliable indicator of her interest in you.

If you guys were banging 1 or more times a day and there was good chemistry between you, then I would say, ignore the facebook and secrecy stuff, it means nothing.

Whereas in your example, WHERE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD S!X YET, this facebook stuff and secrecy is an indicator of interest that is rapidly waning.

S!xual attraction is not a negotiation, it is spontaneous. If she truly was attracted to you, it would have happened by now. Whereas she is apparently keeping it as a reward (eventually having s!x) to keep you on the leash.

That, and your response to my post, which is trending dangerously towards oneitis and neediness for this girl you haven't even phucked yet, and I don't see it working out well.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but there is no point sugar coating it.

There is more info you need to read AND FAST, as soon as I find it, I'll post it.

Runner: Great advice, but wanted to tell you, SEXUAL isn't a blocked word on this board, hell the whole point of this board is teaching guys how to embrace their masculinity and BE SEXUAL with women to attract them....haha







PIMP

 

[blackwolf]

yea sorry. i am chance as well. that's an old account i sometimes use. i forgot to log out... not hiding anything so yeah, no fail bro btw. i am dark, she is asian and has lived in Texas most her life. so she has that accent and american fun personality in a way. we just spoke on the phone a bit. teasing each other and how she wants to kiss me etc. theres no problems with the attraction because she always tells me how handsome i am and i tell her the same.. that she is s3xy and cute. it's just those things like her last name or age.. not too much a big deal as some people said i guess.. just over reacting

 

[cordoncordon]

yea sorry. i am chance as well. that's an old account i sometimes use. i forgot to log out... not hiding anything so yeah, no fail bro btw. i am dark, she is asian and has lived in Texas most her life. so she has that accent and american fun personality in a way. we just spoke on the phone a bit. teasing each other and how she wants to kiss me etc. theres no problems with the attraction because she always tells me how handsome i am and i tell her the same.. that she is s3xy and cute. it's just those things like her last name or age.. not too much a big deal as some people said i guess.. just over reacting

Wait, this is your "girl" and yet you don't even know how old she is or her last name? You are either a troll or absolutely crazy.

 

[blackwolf]

she won't tell me. what am i supposed to do.. dump her because of that? it's the only thing shes not telling me. she will tell me in a while, and if she doesn't im not gonna hang around. but for now everything is going okay, i can't just ditch her for that reason. maybe later on if she doesn't tell me.

 

[SharinganUser]

she won't tell me. what am i supposed to do.. dump her because of that? it's the only thing shes not telling me. she will tell me in a while, and if she doesn't im not gonna hang around. but for now everything is going okay, i can't just ditch her for that reason. maybe later on if she doesn't tell me.

Does she have a fake name on facebook???

 

[blackwolf]

her last name on facebook isn't real. but her first name is. i was thinking before when we first met she did tell me she was very private and that she doesn't even use facebook. she made a new account last week. only has 4 friends and i know them all. so yeah, atm it's just her age and last name. i asked her more than once if she was lying about anything else. she swears that's it and i will know soon. i'm starting to back off a little because i was getting a bit AFC on her with all the lovey dovey messages and chatting. feels weird though that we aren't talking as much as when we first met. anyway, just gonna see how it goes and talk to other girls.