There is this girl that I liked for a long time now (since 9th grade, and we're in 12th now), and although we talk and we could be considered friends we aren't very close. Everytime I try to talk to her it comes out to be about school, and we don't talk every day either. Tomorrow I want to ask her out to lunch (there is a pizza place and KFC near our school), there I can also talk to her and get to know her better. But I'm not sure if she likes me or not, although there is a chance she might, or if it would be OK for me to ask her something like this considering that we are not very close. She's polite and has always been nice to me and here are the things I'm worried about. Will asking her to lunch give her a huge warning that I like her or will she think it's nothing special? If she doesn't like me would she probably refuse or go anyway? And if she does like me, might she refuse because I asked her out on a lunch without getting to know her very well? Would it be better if I tried to talk to her more between classes before doing something like this? And since she is always nice to everyone, might she agree to come even if she doesn't like me (because I don't want her to do it if she doesn't want to). I know these questions are probably pretty dumb since I rarely see people asking them but I admit that I'm extremely shy and aren't good with girls at all and this is the first time I'll be asking one out.
should I ask her out?
- Thread starter R3N3G4D3
- Start date
Body language is easy to read. If you aren't sure that she likes you, then I think that you're probably looking for signs that aren't there.
Could you give us examples of things she's done to make you think she's interested in you?
Could you give us examples of things she's done to make you think she's interested in you?
desert_dweller5
Don Juan
DUDE!!!
YOU GOTTA CHILL BRO!! First sign of AFC is a blender-mind, you push one button and everything goes into a whirl. SLOW your thoughts down. Secondly, don’t think so much. Have you read Emerson? You know Ralph Waldo I'm sure you have if you're in 12th grade, for English class in 11th right? Anyway, what one of his basic points was live in the moment!
The only thing that should stop you is if you are on the friend-only list, but it doesn’t sound that way. Does she act like you could never be her boyfriend she’s always asking you for advice and never wants to get physical? Bingo. Make some explicit conversation in a semi private place, not over IM it comes off as horny.
You shouldn’t worry about if she likes you. You should make her see your manly/sexy side. If you just want to get to know her better and be “better friends” that’s cool too. JUST DON’T BE AFRAID!! Go for it. That’s how you learn. Talk to her a lot more and then suddenly stop altogether till she notices and comes to talk to you. If she doesn’t come back, then say **** her and move on. That’s my theory anyway. “Let go of what you love, if it comes back to you its truly yours.” -anonymous
Just be yourself = relax, be natural, phonies are spotted a mile a way
DW!!
YOU GOTTA CHILL BRO!! First sign of AFC is a blender-mind, you push one button and everything goes into a whirl. SLOW your thoughts down. Secondly, don’t think so much. Have you read Emerson? You know Ralph Waldo I'm sure you have if you're in 12th grade, for English class in 11th right? Anyway, what one of his basic points was live in the moment!
The only thing that should stop you is if you are on the friend-only list, but it doesn’t sound that way. Does she act like you could never be her boyfriend she’s always asking you for advice and never wants to get physical? Bingo. Make some explicit conversation in a semi private place, not over IM it comes off as horny.
You shouldn’t worry about if she likes you. You should make her see your manly/sexy side. If you just want to get to know her better and be “better friends” that’s cool too. JUST DON’T BE AFRAID!! Go for it. That’s how you learn. Talk to her a lot more and then suddenly stop altogether till she notices and comes to talk to you. If she doesn’t come back, then say **** her and move on. That’s my theory anyway. “Let go of what you love, if it comes back to you its truly yours.” -anonymous
Just be yourself = relax, be natural, phonies are spotted a mile a way
DW!!
First of all thanks to whoever wrote the dating bible in your forums, after reading it I realized many things that could help me dramatically. Smiling (which I almost never do), eye-contact, etc., I noticed practicing in front of the mirror that just smiling boosts my confidence by 10 times.
Anyway, thanks for all the help, I'm asking her out tomorrow. And if she refuses, well, I guess it wasn't meant to be. So in either case, even if she doesn't like me better to ask than delude myself into thinking that she does and feeling miserable for the rest of the year and maybe even my life knowing I missed the chance I had.
Ok, here is a list of things she did, although I don't know if she did them because she likes me or because she feels sorry for me since ever since 9th grade she has known me as a loner. First of all we used to go to this afterschool mathschool Freshman year, and there were 5 kids who were getting ride there from a mom of one of the kids (the girl I like, another girl, 2 guys, and me), and they knew eachother pretty well already while I didn't know them much. We would arrive there about an hour early so they usually went to a pizza place nearby, and the girl that I like would always ask me to come with them when they would go there, but when I did come I didn't talk much anyway (since I don't talk much in big groups), so occasionally I just stayed in that math school and did my homework prior to the lessons. And she would always tell me that if I changed my mind I should come to that pizza place. Also, last year we were doing a tutoring program and she always would take the bus to the school where we tutored kids while I always walked there. And once she said she wanted to walk with me (she said that she needed to get some exercise) but then on the actual day of the tutoring session changed her mind. Also to this day, ever since 10th grade whenever she comes up to a teacher to ask something and I come up after her she tells me to go first even though I always refuse, I'm not sure, maybe she does the same to other people but I never noticed. And when I was late to math 2 weeks ago, and there were no free seats left she wanted to free her seat so I could sit there, but I refused. And of course she always smiles when I talk to her, but she kinda smiles to everyone when they talk to her.
Anyway, thanks for all the help, I'm asking her out tomorrow. And if she refuses, well, I guess it wasn't meant to be. So in either case, even if she doesn't like me better to ask than delude myself into thinking that she does and feeling miserable for the rest of the year and maybe even my life knowing I missed the chance I had.
Ded_Skin_Mask13
Banned
don't think about it too much and just do it man....best way, because if you think too much(especially at the time of the action) you might **** up...
Don't take this the wrong way, because I was once in the exact same situation, but I think you have a bad case of one-itis. Honestly, it's just not normal to remember every interaction you've had with a girl in the past 4 years, and none of the things you mentioned are what I would consider signs of high interest.
With that said, I think you should still ask this girl out. You've liked her for 4 years, and it's time you start acting on your desires rather than dreaming about them. The important thing is, if this girl says no, you CANNOT become devastated. All progress throughout the history of man has come as a result of pain and sacrifice. You won't become a DJ without getting rejected a few (or a lot of) times. At this point, I'd even say rejection is the best thing that could happen.
So how can you prevent yourself from getting depressed? Remember that this is only ONE girl. One in millions. She is NOT a special and unique snowflake. No matter how much you may have tried to convince yourself that she is one of a kind, that she is the only one you could be happy with, you're wrong. You've just been too busy obsessing over her to realize how many other chicks you'd love to be with.
Now you might be thinking I'm crazy, that I don't know what I'm talking about, or that I don't understand how much you like this girl. But believe me, I've been there before, and from what you've said, my case was even worse than yours. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday, someday you'll realize that no single girl should ever have this much control over your life.
Now go out there and ask her out. You truly have nothing to lose.
With that said, I think you should still ask this girl out. You've liked her for 4 years, and it's time you start acting on your desires rather than dreaming about them. The important thing is, if this girl says no, you CANNOT become devastated. All progress throughout the history of man has come as a result of pain and sacrifice. You won't become a DJ without getting rejected a few (or a lot of) times. At this point, I'd even say rejection is the best thing that could happen.
So how can you prevent yourself from getting depressed? Remember that this is only ONE girl. One in millions. She is NOT a special and unique snowflake. No matter how much you may have tried to convince yourself that she is one of a kind, that she is the only one you could be happy with, you're wrong. You've just been too busy obsessing over her to realize how many other chicks you'd love to be with.
Now you might be thinking I'm crazy, that I don't know what I'm talking about, or that I don't understand how much you like this girl. But believe me, I've been there before, and from what you've said, my case was even worse than yours. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday, someday you'll realize that no single girl should ever have this much control over your life.
Now go out there and ask her out. You truly have nothing to lose.