Should I always be mysterious from the beginning to the end of a relationship?

[YT827]

I'm in a relationship with a girl (one month). She spent three weekends over my place. She said "I love you" last week. It shocked me.

I like her but was wondering should I always be available now? Should I answer all her calls if I'm able to? Should I start planning most (not all) my free time with her?

Or should I continue to "ignore" some of her calls, or reject offers from her to hang out?

This is my first relationship, and I'm not sure when the game playing ends.

Thanks!

 

[2nd Thought]

I say continue to be mysterious...it's what attracted her in the first place...you don't want her to become bored in the relationship over time

 

[Kailex]

Want to know why people won't respond in your threads... at least those of us who have been here more than just 2-3 days??? Look at the progression you've made... or better said... lack there of.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172929

In this thread, from March 25th, you post about issues that are easily answered within reading the DJ Bible. It's there, use it. Don't try to take shortcuts here. You've probably been here long enough to know that at some point, SOMEONE said that you should read the DJ Bible.

And fine... whatever.

Next thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172998

A thread about sex on Saturdays and whether you should feign being busy. Want to know why no one else replied? Because the question was dumb and the first person (and only person to reply) got it right the first time around.

Next thread I noticed:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172529

You're asking how to get a person to your place when she's ALREADY GOING TO PARK IN FRONT OF IT.
Come on man. Again, you got some good replies from people and that should have been enough. You did the deed, good job.

Next thread (and this is where it starts to get worse):

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173043

Here you talk about NOT wanting to be in a relationship (March 29). Apparently you are going out with some chick that you don't really want to be around with and ask us for advice.Again, you get solid pieces of advice and most people advise you to get out of the relationship... not much more to add there. But then you turn around and post this gem:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173146

Women are beginning to make you sick, CUTE. Just a few days after on April 1st. Yes, the April Fool's joke is on you. So you went from "I don't want to be in a relationship" to "Fvck women and their gender" to this on March 7th:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173345

You ask if you should be mysterious til the end with the SAME girl you said you didn't want to be in a relationship with.

Again, the first poster said something that made sense... NOTHING MORE TO ADD.

I can absolutely tell that you have read NONE of the source material of which this forum is built upon and you keep asking related questions and you go from "Should I do X thing" to "I hate women" in a nanosecond.

Which is why I had to laugh when I saw you post in someone else's thread with this:

Why the **** does every thread but mine gets attention?

Wow, really? So the advice people give you in your threads is only good if there are more than 10 replies?

You are the male version of an AW.

You were given good pieces of advice and you still ignored it, regardless. You've displayed an overall poor attitude with that thread about hating women and then after asking if you should drop your pointless relationship... a week later you are asking if you should still be mysterious.

Come on.

Though I will admit, if attention is what you wanted from me... you got it, but just for this thread.

Did I answer your question now as to why your threads don't have that many replies?

 

[Iceberg]

I hate to waste my 10-posts per day limit on one-worded responses, but uh...

owned.

 

[alkaline hero]

I think if your in a relationship you owe it to the girl to release some information about yourself. You def. dont need to be playing mr mysterious all the time pretty soon the wise up if its an act BUT always keep her on edge. Tell her your busy sometimes, or you cant share some bits of information yet; girls love the mystery element.

 

[YT827]

Want to know why people won't respond in your threads... at least those of us who have been here more than just 2-3 days??? Look at the progression you've made... or better said... lack there of.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172929

In this thread, from March 25th, you post about issues that are easily answered within reading the DJ Bible. It's there, use it. Don't try to take shortcuts here. You've probably been here long enough to know that at some point, SOMEONE said that you should read the DJ Bible.

And fine... whatever.

Next thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172998

A thread about sex on Saturdays and whether you should feign being busy. Want to know why no one else replied? Because the question was dumb and the first person (and only person to reply) got it right the first time around.

Next thread I noticed:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172529

You're asking how to get a person to your place when she's ALREADY GOING TO PARK IN FRONT OF IT.
Come on man. Again, you got some good replies from people and that should have been enough. You did the deed, good job.

Next thread (and this is where it starts to get worse):

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173043

Here you talk about NOT wanting to be in a relationship (March 29). Apparently you are going out with some chick that you don't really want to be around with and ask us for advice.Again, you get solid pieces of advice and most people advise you to get out of the relationship... not much more to add there. But then you turn around and post this gem:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173146

Women are beginning to make you sick, CUTE. Just a few days after on April 1st. Yes, the April Fool's joke is on you. So you went from "I don't want to be in a relationship" to "Fvck women and their gender" to this on March 7th:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173345

You ask if you should be mysterious til the end with the SAME girl you said you didn't want to be in a relationship with.

Again, the first poster said something that made sense... NOTHING MORE TO ADD.

I can absolutely tell that you have read NONE of the source material of which this forum is built upon and you keep asking related questions and you go from "Should I do X thing" to "I hate women" in a nanosecond.

Which is why I had to laugh when I saw you post in someone else's thread with this:



Wow, really? So the advice people give you in your threads is only good if there are more than 10 replies?

You are the male version of an AW.

You were given good pieces of advice and you still ignored it, regardless. You've displayed an overall poor attitude with that thread about hating women and then after asking if you should drop your pointless relationship... a week later you are asking if you should still be mysterious.

Come on.

Though I will admit, if attention is what you wanted from me... you got it, but just for this thread.

Did I answer your question now as to why your threads don't have that many replies?

You have too much time on your hands.

And a fantastic example why I hate the search function on forums.

Too many detectives try to piece together random threads in an attempt to profile members.

 

[YT827]

I think if your in a relationship you owe it to the girl to release some information about yourself. You def. dont need to be playing mr mysterious all the time pretty soon the wise up if its an act BUT always keep her on edge. Tell her your busy sometimes, or you cant share some bits of information yet; girls love the mystery element.

Thank you.

 

[Ease]

You have too much time on your hands.

Too many detectives try to piece together random threads in an attempt to profile members.

Good response. Thought you might crumble, but you held it there.

As to your question, i ask myself a similiar question also. 'At why point should i reveal more and show interest and be mushy wushy nice guy and do cuddle times and long phone calls'. A long time is a good answer, if in doubt, dont do it.

After you can call it a 'long relationship', and you've established everything firmly, you can start to mess about more. For me 6-7 months is a good time to call the relationship firmly established. I stop caring enough to make sure i keep my game super tight, which is healthy.

However answering every call or texting back every time is a sure way to failure, before you know it you'll be too invested and dependant. You need to reject her and be an a-hole sometimes if only to perserve your own inner mindset of badboy.

 

[1 Lucky FLIP]

I hate to waste my 10-posts per day limit on one-worded responses, but uh...

owned.

We have a 10 post limit a day? Maybe I should start reading the TOC. And then quit posting nonsense like this

onto the mysterious thing. The game may start getting old after awhile especially if you start getting into a LTR. But you can release bits of pieces of information at a slow or steady rate to keep the interest alive as if she learned something new she didn't know before. Shell eventually would want to know who you are, your past, ect. Just don't release it all in one day like a surprise.

 

[Kailex]

You have too much time on your hands.

And a fantastic example why I hate the search function on forums.

Too many detectives try to piece together random threads in an attempt to profile members.

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. Ain't that the truth?

BTW, if you really needed to know, it only took me 10 mins to piece that together. Just in case you were wondering HOW much time I had on my hands.

And I'd just like to add... AND a fantastic example why I LOVE the search function on forums, because we can piece together threads that have trends in common with members, so we can see the advice given before and how it was IGNORED and yet, the same question gets asked OVER and OVER and OVER...

Basically, every time I respond to you from now on (including this) IS in fact, a waste of my time.

Why? Because you WON'T learn. Many of the veteran SoSuave members simply will CHOOSE who to respond (and BTW, I don't include myself) because of the 10 post limit and because of patterns... (which the search function does help to fully paint the picture).

Had I left this thread alone and not responded, you wouldn't have gotten a few more responses, and you would have kept complaining and mentalizing as to why other threads with more idiotic content keeps getting responses.

From now on, (and you are correct on this) I will begin to waste less time on posts from you, because quite frankly, I could use that extra 2+ posts a day on people that really could use the help.

And btw, this isn't about profiling members, I was one of those assh0les that responded into one of your previous threads... I can completely see I wasted my time...

And furthermore... as I pointed out earlier, the connection between the threads ISN'T random... they are actually connected.

I have no problem with people asking questions, but it's when people start asking questions for EVERY single move that they SHOULD make that I start wondering: Should they be going out with this girl... or should I?

Food for thought.

 

[pipe007]

my advise is
"keep doing the same things you have done since the beginning"
if you are going to get comfortable, do it very subtly.

don't let her sense you have changed and taken her for granted. always show with actions that she comes in second place in your life, and you can walk away from her any minute.

 

[boomerick]

Kalex nailed it and you. Truth hurts. Start with the source material and you wouldn't have needed to ask a single question so far. See my signature line for directions. Over and Out.

 

[handle]

Don't go out of your way to be "mysterious" when in a relationship. Just have a life (therefore, don't always have time to respond, be the one to end conversations because you actually have stuff to do, etc.) I understand the use of "mystery" early on, but in the long term you shouldn't have problems if you have a life.

 

[vivek59234]

Well never take any girl for granted... once they find you are in to them, they will dump you and will leave you crying all the time...

I had same issue last week and have been posting many threads about the same, these DJ's have tried to help me a lot but I didn't listen to them because of the **** feelings inside.

Went ahead and became an AFC.... The result was in front of me within two days... She was always "Love you", "Miss you" and I was all over her before but after few days... I started saying all those stuffs and she left me alone...

It hurts a lot and still I am recovering... It's very hard but good lesson for me...

So never always be available for her... Never be desperate.... Never call her or text her again and again... And never beg for the relationship... Just be "mysterious" and busy all the time and she'll be yours forever...

After all we are guys and don't want them to ruin us...

 

[Black Dog]

I have no problem with people asking questions, but it's when people start asking questions for EVERY single move that they SHOULD make that I start wondering: Should they be going out with this girl... or should I?

Food for thought.

I like this.....because I have a problem sometimes being to relient on SS alone..not relient on myself you know

 

[Captain]

This is my first relationship, and I'm not sure when the game playing ends.

When the "game playing" ends, the relationship ends.

I see it all the time. Guys gets girl. Guy gets complacent and lets himself go. Girl says "he's changed" and either cheats or leaves him.

You don't stop being the man that attracted her in the first place. Better yet, become that man so you don't have to "play games".

 

[kingsam]

When the "game playing" ends, the relationship ends.

I see it all the time. Guys gets girl. Guy gets complacent and lets himself go. Girl says "he's changed" and either cheats or leaves him.

You don't stop being the man that attracted her in the first place. Better yet, become that man so you don't have to "play games".

YES dating IS a game (you could say its like a dance) , its two steps forward and one step back, one person leading...

 

[Faded Image]

Don't go out of your way to be "mysterious" when in a relationship. Just have a life (therefore, don't always have time to respond, be the one to end conversations because you actually have stuff to do, etc.) I understand the use of "mystery" early on, but in the long term you shouldn't have problems if you have a life.

This!