should a girlfriend dance with other guys? if so, what limits?

[backbreaker]

You can LOOSE more than you can GAIN becuase of that.

If your girl really wants to go out.. it's girls night out, and all of her GF's are going out, and you are being a groutch and won't let her go, she is going to spite you.


If your GF is going to cheat on you, she is going to cheat on you, and she doesn't have to go to the club to do it.


If she does cheat on you, it's not because you let her go to the club, it's becuase she saw someone else she was interested in more than you. In that case, you need to get your game up.

That's the whole point.

And the thing about marriage is i have a thing where I can't stand seeing married people getting their freak on in clubs. NOt saying they shouldn't go out on occussion, but.. you know, the girls that go to the clubs every weekend and you find out they are married? That's not right, you have a family to take care of now and should be at home.

But most guys take these relationships toooooo seriously. Just because a girl wants to go out with her GF's and she is dancing and a guy comes up behind her and s tarts grinding on her, and she dances with him for one song doesn't mean she doesn't respect you. Not respecting you is not coming home from the club that night, or giving her number out talking to other guys.

 

[frivolousz21]

Just because a girl wants to go out with her GF's and she is dancing and a guy comes up behind her and s tarts grinding on her, and she dances with him for one song doesn't mean she doesn't respect you. Not respecting you is not coming home from the club that night, or giving her number out talking to other guys.

I dont agree with you.....if he comes from behind.she can move away...


like girls do to the guys they dont want to dance with..even when they are single.

 

[tigre]

Originally posted by backbreaker

If she does cheat on you, it's not because you let her go to the club, it's becuase she saw someone else she was interested in more than you. In that case, you need to get your game up.

I don´t agree with that, cause maybe my GF can be interested in my but if shes drunk and shes grinding with another dude in a club and the other dude is seducing her, chances are high that she will fall for his BS. I mean if I had a GF and I went out clubbing without her and a chick were all over me, I would still try bang her as long as I feel that I can pull if off without my GF finding out. Its very common to do stuff that you know its wrong but you do it anyways cause you think you wont get caught.

 

[backbreaker]

THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO BE WITH HER


my gosh, it's not that complicated.


When you drink, you know what you are doing, trust me. The difference is, you don't seem to have that voice of reason in your head telling you NOT to do something.

But if you have a GF, that goes out, gets dru nk and knows she can't hold her licquor, maybe she wants to get taken advantage of. .

lIke i said, if that is the case, you don't need her int he first place.


My EX knew she couldn't hold her liquor therefore she wouldn't drink alot, which is why I ended up getting alot fo her drinks guys bought for her

it's not like the liquor opens her mouth and pours itself in the bottle.

If you have the type of girl that gets pissy drunk, people get pissy drunk usually becasue they are trying to get away from something... maybe she is trying to get away from you, but you just empthasied my point that women know what they are doing.

A man will never make a girl, at least in a club, do something that she doesn't already want to do, no matter what bull**** line she uses agiainst you

 

[SeldomSeen]

RE:

I havent read through the whole thread but I can tell you that everytime I would go out to dance some woman would come out and start dancing with me while her husband or BF stood on the side gazing. I never was comfortable with that but they would always say "my bf/husband doesnt mind...he doesnt dance" Sometimes I would get other indicators that they were interested in more than just dancing and this was the part that made me uncomfortable. Yet sometimes the guy would ask me "would you dance with my woman...she really wants to dance" Sometimes I would and sometimes I wouldnt.

 

[backbreaker]

now that is just an AFC that is at the club to make sure he GF doesn't do anything.

IF you don't dance, then why are you at the club? not to pick up women, because your women is already there

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Agreeing from what LIT and others have said Your GF or Wife should not go clubbing with her girl friends.

No good can come from it. And I think its wrong if your dancing with other girls because your women can't dance. If I want to dance and she can't I'm going to show her or have her take lessons. And there is no way in h3ll I’m going to let my women dance with some other guy in front of me and think its all cool because I got some other chick. WTF...H3LL NO!!…. When I read stuff like that I think of people who are swingers and big time AFC chumps that don’t know how to handle their women.

Women relate dancing to sex people.

Now if my GF and I were at a wedding and a close buddy of mind or a friend of ours asked her to dance then that’s ok with me. H3ll I've danced with married women that are my friends and with everybody because we were all there to have a good time at the wedding reception. But NO ONE was bumping and grinding or any dirty dancing at all. It was all clean and family fun.

Clubbing isn't and it’s wrong to let your women do it alone or with her GF or in front of you if you’re that dumb. Clubbing is for singles and getting your freak on.

You deserve what comes to you if you let her do it.

So don't and MAN UP and handle you women accordingly!

 

[frivolousz21]

what? im not talking about that.

I do dance with her when im out with her at a dance club.


If im not there..she can do whatever except touch other guys...thats all im saying....I dont touch other girls its a mutual aggrement.

im a serious LTR...we dont even go out to do dance with other women or men..why on Earth would we???

but if she is out she can talk to guys I dont a fyck.
the old saying goes:

" you can look but dont touch"

that doenst just apply to men

nevermind backbreaker u werent talking to me.

 

[backbreaker]

Okay, I think we are all agreeing, but I think I didn't explain something....


Fisrt of all, I would never take a GF of mine that wanted to to go to the club and dance with other dudes seriously.

If you honestly loved me, I shouldn't have to tell you not to dance with them.


BUT if you do, then I know what type of relationship it is. One that is short term.

Just ilke i would never date a girl I meet at the club, I won't marry one or take one seriously that has to go every other weekend, lets guys dance with them.

But if you do, I am not going to break up with you, you just asn't marrage material, doesn't mean you aren't short term, **** you until I get tired of you or find someone better material.

Even though I knew my ex wouldnt' cheat on me, the reason I broke up with her is because I told her me and her had no long term future. I mean I cared about her, and we are good friends to this day, but i refuse to have a real LTR with someone that goes club hopping.

But just beause she dances with a guy doesn't mean she wants to **** him, and it doesn't mean she doesn't respect you, it just means that he rmind isn't mature enough for a LTR

 

[TxCowboy]

this whole GNO issue is really a lose lose situation any way you look at it. Just let it happen if thats what she wants. Watch for new phone number calling her though ....

 

[frivolousz21]

Backbreaker-you are right....girls in a LTR dont want to do it anyways...

its been 4 months and my gf hasnt gone dancing 1 time since we started dating...then agian she never freaked anyways..but regardless....


if u have to tell her not to do it..then its a lose lose

 

[B-Lemond]

Originally posted by backbreaker
Okay, I think we are all agreeing, but I think I didn't explain something....


Fisrt of all, I would never take a GF of mine that wanted to to go to the club and dance with other dudes seriously.

If you honestly loved me, I shouldn't have to tell you not to dance with them.


BUT if you do, then I know what type of relationship it is. One that is short term.

Just ilke i would never date a girl I meet at the club, I won't marry one or take one seriously that has to go every other weekend, lets guys dance with them.

But if you do, I am not going to break up with you, you just asn't marrage material, doesn't mean you aren't short term, **** you until I get tired of you or find someone better material.

Even though I knew my ex wouldnt' cheat on me, the reason I broke up with her is because I told her me and her had no long term future. I mean I cared about her, and we are good friends to this day, but i refuse to have a real LTR with someone that goes club hopping.

But just beause she dances with a guy doesn't mean she wants to **** him, and it doesn't mean she doesn't respect you, it just means that he rmind isn't mature enough for a LTR

Standing Ovation!

 

[Oceanfire]

I'm older guy and went to a club with a school reunion with my GF of a few years. One of ex school friends kept on asking to dance. He is an ugly ****er but kinda funny. She kept on saying no. Which was ok as last time she was pretend grinding on him whilst we all danced together. It was wierd as she is in her late 40s but hey it made me laugh at the time. She knew where i stood, no 1 on 1 beyond maybe one dance and definately no touching. Except she disappeared off with him when we were supposed to leaving and disappeared round the corner with him. I'm sort of sure there was no touchy feely going on. What got to me after a few dances of her nowhere to be seen was the lack of respect. It was a place where we had first danced together.... that spot was kinda special to me. Clearly not to her. Walked out. I haven't seen her for a week and she is still going on about controlling, insecurity etc. Still hasn't realised I dumped her. Its not controlling its called loyalty. Its not insecurity its called making a stand what your boundaries are. There are loads of good faithful loyal women out there. Don't waste your time on someone who doesnt really care about you. Having said that we all have our boundaries. What's right with one isnt right for another. Don't blame, let them find someone who is right for them. You should move on if she can't understand that. Word of warning though - the prettier she is the more smacked in the head she will be... There will be a thousand guys saying you are a numpty and hoping hoping themselves. Girls dont get that.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Man... lemme tell you it takes effort for me to be a good boy. If I hear any story at all of ANY physical contact with a man i'm playing the field end of story. I'm not going to have a talk with her, i'm not going to get pissed at her... nothing. I'm just gonna stop saying no and start saying yes and if it leads to anything inappropriate then oh well i'm just having fun anyways and i'm not letting her know anything because it's nothing really and not worth her getting upset. After all she can just go out and blow off steam dancing her problems away right?

 

[Fruitbat]

LOL where I am from there are 2 types of dancing.

Off your head e-dancing where everyone dances in a sweaty room together (my previous favourite before getting too old)

Beery dancing.

In no context is a man dancing with a woman anything but a sexual thing. If your bird is dancing with another man when you're there, it's dump on the spot worthy.

Possibly if it's ecstacy induced then a sweaty grasp with a random man is fine given the e experience isn't a sexual one.

 

[A 3% Percent Man]

Personally I am fine with my lady dance with another guy. Why bother she is coming home with me. you must love in a way your partner feels free.

As for in a Relationship it depends on my partners view of this and the compromise we reach. Ideally I hope to find a partner who is like minded

 

[devilkingx2]

I think it depends on a huge number of factors:

1. what kind of dancing does she plan to do? would you think she was a lesbian if she did that kind of dancing with another girl? would you think she was a stripper if you weren't aware of the context?

2. who is she dancing with? random guys or guys she knows? only guys that are single/hot/interested in her? is she approaching or being approached? does she give them her number or let them isolate her?

3. how much trust/freedom has she earned? is she the type to lie and say nothing happened when she sucked a guy off in the bathroom? is she the type that will take "yeah you can go to the party without me" and end up at "well I gave a guy a ******* so he would drive me home since you weren't there to give me a ride and I was too drunk to drive"?

at the end of the day you have to find your own personal balance, you can't be too controlling because you probably don't have the time/energy to manage someone else's life AND yours, you don't want her rebelling against you or resenting you or spiting you or just lying to you about everything since she knows you'd be mad/say no BUT at the same time you don't want your girlfriend to be given free license to cheat on you, replace you, disrespect you, erode your frame by intentionally dancing on the border of your rules to see how much you'll allow her to get away with, etc.

I had a girlfriend who would get wasted at parties and "accidentally" fall into guys laps or get hickies or spend all night grinding with cute frat boys(her words not mine). I told her to cut that **** out or i'm dumping her.

the very next time she went out to party she made sure to behave herself, had a friend watch her to make sure she wouldn't go too wild, completely blew off any guy trying to hit on her or make a move, etc.

the former is the kind of girl you tell "don't get drunk, don't party without me", whereas the latter is the kind of girl you say "have fun babe, I won't wait up so you can tell me about it in the morning"

 

[wifehunter]

If she's dancing with another guy, she's not 'yours'.

 

[Fruitbat]

Personally I am fine with my lady dance with another guy. Why bother she is coming home with me. you must love in a way your partner feels free.

As for in a Relationship it depends on my partners view of this and the compromise we reach. Ideally I hope to find a partner who is like minded

Here, many years ago it was acceptable for a lady and a man to dance with purely friendship.

Nowadays, it's kind of a challenge. Sadly, you are expected to be upset by it. The girl would only do it to upset you, she would know it's out of line.

I think this may be cultural. If it was at a dance class or dancing night then fine, but at a club, it's a complete no-no. Asking a dude's missus to dance is a challenge to her man.

 

[soulforge]

The very act of dancing, is pretty much erotic.. Its a sexual display!!


I had an ex who used to go dancing in the clubs, behind my back.. While i worked night shifts..

That innocent dancing, lead to her having a one night stand and getting pregnant, while in a relationship with me!


I dropped that hoe like a sack of spanners... This is what dancing can lead to!