Short guys and approaching

[Let's Get Real]

Any thoughts for short guys in terms of approaching? It's pretty well known that most pretty women prefer a taller guy. I'm like 5'7 and get overlooked by my taller friends. It may be just mental but I feel like I'm having to break down her resistance all the time while my taller friends get smiles and noticed right away. It's so much easier to talk with her when they smile and show interest before I've even said anything. I'm 27, 140, and look young for my age. Any thoughts?

I can get rid of my taller friends but that doesn't seem right to ditch my childhood friends because of this.

I've read a lot of material like mystery and pook...but both were tall guys which is attractive to women even before a word has been said.

 

[GameTime76]

You are using your height as an excuse to your failures. Once you realize that, your game will grow.

 

[Let's Get Real]

You are using your height as an excuse to your failures. Once you realize that, your game will grow.

I understand. I might even be addicted to failing with women. Any suggestions on how to get over it?

 

[Chickfight]

Stop seeing it as a disadvantage.
Look at all the short famous high-status celebrities. Did they let it hold them back?

Off the top of my head. Lil wayne is 5'6'', Tom Cruise is 5'7''.
Suprising right? Cause their confidence makes them seem so much bigger. You might not personally like them, but they don't have any problem getting the women they want.

 

[DropZone3]

I agree with Game time.
Also, wear shoes that will enhance your height and don't stand right next to your friends.

 

[GameTime76]

I understand. I might even be addicted to failing with women. Any suggestions on how to get over it?

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. -Michael Jordan

I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
-Michael Jordan

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
-Michael Jordan

Cheers!

 

[Fuglydude]

Here we go with the short guy thing again... I'm 5'8". I'm engaged to a 5'9" model/figure competitor and I'm a former male entertainer/stripper turned competitive bodybuilder. I've made tens of thousands of dollars for taking my clothes off for women and partying/having fun with them. Its all about the confidence and attitude that you project. I've worked with many other dancers who are in 5'8" range. Some of em have slept with HUNDREDS of women.

Here's some older shots of me. My weight ranges from 165 to 180 in these shots and my bodyfat ranges from high single digits to around 10%.

http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m91/Treydesmon/

At 5'7" - 140 I'd feel meek and weak too. Its actually easier to look bigger when you're shorter. Get bigger, get lean and your sexual value will skyrocket. Trust me on this...

 

[WC2]

The height excuse has always been a cop out. I know this because I'm 5'8 myself and had once ALWAYS used it as a cop out.

Then one day--almost magically, the thought disappeared from my mind. Forever.

Why are you concentrating on things you cannot control? This goes for not only attraction, but for everything in life. Concentrate on things you CAN control.

For me what created a diversion from my height was the fact that I was a different kind of man with different things to offer than all of my other friends. Yes, they were tall but they couldn't talk sexual with a woman if their life depended on it. Yes, they had height advantage but they didn't have the balls to go up to a woman and be blunt about their attraction towards her.

As soon as I realized that these strengths far outweighed any height difference, I totally forgot about it. And honestly I haven't thought about it till this very post.

Height is a total cop out. Its no secret that if you put a bunch of tall guys with no balls in a room and one shorter guy with balls and good looks, the shorter man will come out on top if he is dominant enough. No matter how much a female may prefer a taller man, her emotions can always be swayed by a little sexual foreplay and use of words. This is why we say women's emotions are like the wind. It's ours to play with.

Start forgetting how attracted a female may be to you and just assume attraction. Start having fun and flirting sexually with women, while still being your own man. These are the things that will improve your successes with women, not dreams of a taller frame or surgery to increase your height (f*cking ridiculous).

best of luck

 

[RedZone]

So what if you are short...It's like anything else. Some girls won't care about it and some girls will. You just have to keep trying no matter what because you never know who will accept you for it.

Perfect example, Michael J. Fox is listed at 5'4, which most likely means he is 5'2 or 5'3. Anybody can argue that at his peak in the 80's not many people were more popular than him. Sure, he was famous, but he always had charisma, energy, and never focused on how short he was. In fact, most of things he was in was centered around that and used for humor.

 

[davewe]

I feel pretty confident that I am the oldest short guy (5'6") to post on this thread, therefore have the most experience of anyone here in what it's like to be shorter than average.

To the OP: Yes, you are correct; some women will not be attracted to you because you are shorter than their ideal. However, just as many women will not be attracted to you because of your skin color or ethnic origin, your hair style or lack of hair, your intelligence or lack thereof, your style of clothing, your taste in music, and any number of other things. It is what it is.

I have been married twice and both women were taller than me. I currently date two women; one is 5'1" and the other is 6'. Yes, you read right - 6' and she wears heels.

And yet I find myself offended by the posters who categorically state that height doesn't matter. It can matter and it is something you will have to work hard to overcome, because it's not going to change. At 58 years old I still admit that once in a while I find myself hesitant when approaching a woman my height or taller. Of course, then I remind myself that "I'm too old to get her anyway, so the height's the least of my worries." lol! Of course both negative views are wrong but don't beat yourself up if you sometimes feel that way.

The problem with approach anxiety is that most of us approach women to find out of if they're attracted to us, when we should be approaching a woman to find out whether we are interested in her or not. If you approach a woman on that basis you'll find that the worthy one's won't care about your height and the unworthy one's you will quickly reject.

Good luck!

 

[Groovy]

I will say this to you LGR... I have pretty much always been the tallest dude since I can remember! I have not always been the most confident, with the highest self esteem. Shall I continue to write this post? Okay... (I think some can guess where this is going?)

Pretty much, as I started to read material on the web, and I realized some stuff, like 3 years ago, little more, basically my confidence has been getting higher since then. My friends were naturally pretty alpha and, some had many girls, and pretty much all the girls instantly liked them very much. It sounds that I am telling a fairy tale, but it is pretty much true word for word. It is really like this! I will say again, girls enjoyed their company (and they started to like ME too as soon as I gained confidence, which is obvious to me. They liked me before too, sort of, I was an interesting guy, fun personality, I was just insecure, flat out, and this kind of attention I got after being confident was way different) and just felt good around them. If no girls were around, they were the most respected\listened. It's simple! No one gave a damn about my height. In fact, if I hadn't read it online, I would not pay that much special attention to my tallness. Real life experience disagrees with ppl on the web- height doesn't matter.

Now, to end my story... My self esteem has been increasing with time. Guess what? It's the tallest EVER, and at this moment, more girls like me then... ever. Maybe because I am older now (19) I read this here and I agree that with age you naturally get more alpha. (But it's not inevitable- It only happened because I worked for it).

I've said this so far in this site like 5 times. But I don't mind telling you guys this again While it is obvious as hell to me, it may not be to some ppl I guess. It's true. Believe me!!!!!!!!!!!! Height does NOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTT matter. Personality matters, alphaness, self esteem, confidence, don't be needy. Eat well. Muscles, bah, I'd say it doesn't matter much, it's a bonus, but not the essential. If you don't have them you're fine with the ladies anyways. But you got to be healthy, also to control your emotions and all, you must eat well. If you have self esteem you want to feel good and happy, and eating is a important step, without it it's way hard, and the results will reflect everywhere. You'll be more relaxed, it will show on your face btw, better voice maybe? (that may be more related to exercise, idk for sure) good posture, etc, nice feeling that is for SURE, you will have great energy and freshness!

I know this may seem like it got kinda off-topic, I started to talk about all this stuff, it just flowed naturally But I want it this way. I decided to talk about my life and all only because I think these things were important to say. I hope some of you guys listen since I think it's very important to some of you. VERY IMPORTANT. That is all for now, I'm rooting for you guys, and stop thinking that height matters... PLZ.

 

[Let's Get Real]

Thank you everyone for the insight. I just got back from the gym. I took the advice of anyone that said be confident, alpha, and playful. I started talking to this woman at the gym. Usually I will pull away thinking I'm not good enough or I don't want to put her on blast and talk with her in front of everyone. But this time I stayed persistent and made jokes about her and her friend using the machines I want next. I tried to ask her what she was doing tonight but she was moving to the next machine not close to mine. As I was talking to my friend outside the gym, a car pulled up and a guy was like, "hey come over here." She told him to stop because I was flirting and wanted to give me her number. I went back inside after I got hers and talked the girl at the front desk and got her email too. No games, no mystery method negs, just confident, fun and persistent. Thank you guys!

 

[Hakuna]

On the brighter side, you might have a Napoleonic Complex.

 

[Ardia]

Old thread. Im new, and wont post much here.
But I thought Id say...

Im 5'2. Asian.
Im 31. Never had a girlfriend. But everytime Ive been around young women, some of them have come after me - key being they were all looking for a boyfriend - not a hookup.
Their heights - 5'4.5, 5'5, 5'8, 5'0, 4'8 (these ones seem confirmed, a smattering other that aren't clear - 5'6, 6'0, 5'5).

I have no interest in women shorter than me. I think this is simple evolution - Im screwed if I mated with a shorter woman - so they genuinely leave me feeling nothing (not to say that it happens much). Nor do I know if anything would have happened if I 'went for it' or replied to the IOIs I received.

Problem is taller women TERRIFY me. Completely. Also, other men TERRIFY me, especially when it comes to courting a woman - a direct fear of being beaten/killed and an indirect one of the woman paying more attention to the other suitor, and another indirect one of social heckling/how it would look. How do I keep it up etc. Projected long term - it might also be a subconscious fear of cuckoldry.

So Ive been alone all my life.

The funny thing is its more common than you think. 3.8% (1986) of marriages are between a shorter male and taller woman. By 2003, this had increased to 4.2%... given the demographics - only 8.55% of couples would be of a shorter male/taller woman if randomly assigned.

So 4.2 is a high number - 49%.

Further, if a number jumps from 3.8% to 4.2% (between 1986 and 2003) the increase would probably be in the young rather than the old. As older people get set in their ways.

So the real number could be 4.6 or so. Also bear in mind that its more common in the middle and upper classes than the lower classes.

Google "Interspatial couples microtrends" to see a study that places it at slightly above 5% (58%) in 2008.

This all explains the women who (seemed to be at least) interested in me... but still leaves me alone as the psychological block is too great.

Im not sure I want to change it anymore, but I thought Id throw these stats out there. The 3.8 to 4.2 figure comes from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think shorter guys would do better at a bar than a club. At least at a bar, you can game a girl while seated (provided you got there early enough to get a bar stool).

But clubs usually have no seating (unless you get a table for lots of money). Everybody is standing, especially on the dance floor. The really tall guys have an edge in that environment because height is the first thing the girl notices.

 

[Ardia]

I disagree... I think short guys are ****ed as far as Short term mating is concerned. At least as short as me. Unless I move to Asia where Im 5'8, but as I stated, short girls do absolutely nothing for me - and besides, those countries are poor.

Ive only been to a club once... I dont think I want to do it again. I grew up in a Muslim country where such things do not exist. Perhaps I would feel differently if I were born here.

The reason for my IOIs I think fall under 2 possibilities - 1) being foreign, I probably unconsciously gave out a different vibe, or 2) Having a good looking face. Frankly, apart from having a bulbous nose (which is bad, I know), Im facially (imo) with movie star good looks. I dont know if its one, or the other, or both.

The really tall guys have an edge in that environment because height is the first thing the girl notices.

This is one of my chief fears - even when a girl was trying to show me she was interested in me - that she would naturally look at other guys - even if subconsciously. The angst at this was too much to bear.

 

[PokerStar]

ha. using your physical faults an excuse is more worse then hearing fat women complain how they cant lose weight.

put it this way guys. WE ARE ALL THE SAME HEIGHT LYING DOWN.

i dont let height determine who i can and cant approach. i will talk to all women whether they be 6 feet tall or 5 feet tall.

just get over your self image and ego.

That is all.

 

[floydb25]

5'7 isn't that short. I'm only 5'8, and never had problems. A lot of guys I know aren't that tall, either. There are lots of short girls out there... They don't all want tall guys. Are you sure its not a problem in the looks department? Most girls look at a guys face - not his height.

Mike: Never had problems at any clubs, either. I used to dance with so many girls up there - even with all the tall guys around.

Definitely not a height issue, here.

 

[perseverance]

I'm 5'5, 132lbs and I have no problems attracting women all of heights, races, shapes and sizes.

Yes, there are women who prefer tall guys, so what? That's their preference and more power to them, stop worrying about them and worry about you. You can be 6'1 and still get rejected and still have a poor record with women.

Your height isn't a problem, it's your attitude and your insecurity about your height that is the problem and it's holding you back. The sooner you accept how you are the better it will be for you in all aspects of your life.

 

[Maxtro]

So much fucking nonsense in this thread about height not mattering. It's all bullshit, of course height is important.

The fact of the matter is, many women are turned off because a guy is short. Many girls will flat out refuse to date a guy who is shorter than her in heals.

Yes there are some girls who don't care about height, but they are still looking for other things.

The only aspect I've seen that can make up for height, is complete confidence in oneself. And that's hard enough to get even without the handicap of being short.

I'm 30 years old, 5'6 and have been rejected by every girl I've ever liked. Don't tell me that height doesn't matter and that it's all my attitude. I don't go up to girls, "Hi, you're not going to like me because I'm short, want to go out anyways?"