Short date?

[Optimuspiglet]

Hey everyone, need some suggestions.

Out of the blue last week, this really cute girl sent me an e-mail through yahoo personals. She initiated the contact, I never sent her any e-mail. We've exchanged e-mails a couple of times. In one of the e-mails she gave me her cell phone number.

She says she's not opposed to kissing on the first date, and that she would "like to have lunch or dinner with me so we can get to know each other better".

Now, since I've never met her in person, I've got questions about what type of date our first should be. Should it be a short coffee date, where we can both scope out each other to really see if we are compatible?

I've never done the online personals before and don't know what kind of date is appropriate. She gave me her number without me asking for it and said " My cell phone is ALWAYS on, I never turn it off".

So what kind of date would you don juans recommend? Because I think I've got a live one here and I don't want to screw it up.

 

[Walden]

Don't f*** around with a lunch date. If she sounds like she's already with it then the best you can do is just get things on a polite "dating" tip , from which it will take you months to get things moving. Tee up a night date and go for the toad.

 

[fan27]

A short coffee date (about an hour) is my standard first date. I will usually have a drink with my date for about 45 minutes or so and then go for a walk with her. Theres no pressure, its cheap, and if it aint going good it doesn't have to last long.

Good Luck

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by fan27
A short coffee date (about an hour) is my standard first date. I will usually have a drink with my date for about 45 minutes or so and then go for a walk with her. Theres no pressure, its cheap, and if it aint going good it doesn't have to last long.

I agree about a short date to get a feel her. Have you seen a picture of her or has she given you a 'full' description other than 'blonde, blue, average.'

She has made herself overly available to you and has already talked to you about kissing on the first date (I have NO idea why you guys were talking about that). But that would make me caucious. I would still meet her to make my own opinion.

It would be a shame to put a ton of time, effort and even money into someone you aren't attracted to.

 

[Optimuspiglet]

Yeah, she's given me 3 pictures of her. Two of them were really nice pictures(she's real cute). And the other was one with her getting a lick on the face from her dog!

 

[Bud Wiser]

Make it a short date, definitely. Even so, you'll need to plan for it.

I have a lot of experience in this area and have finally got it down fairly well. A few pointers.

Even if it's a coffee date, make it at a location that will reflect well on you. Which means, perhaps a Starbucks if there's nothing better. If there's a trendy, kind of off-beat coffee place to go to, go there instead. It'll set you apart as someone who can plan dates at imaginative, fun spots. Avoid greasy-spoon diners, Denny's, Mickey D's, Friendly's, etc. Or, if it's a nice day or evening, perhaps a cup of coffee in a park.

Dress well! Clean casual, with good shoes. Be clean, odor-free and ready to rock. Pop a breath mint or whatever before you meet her. (And once more in the men's room right before you leave to cover you for that first kiss.)

Get there 10 minutes early so you can stake out a good table. If you're early, there's no way you'll be late and she'll know that at least you're reliable when it comes to time. Oh, yes, it'll also give you an idea as to her reliability, which is big.

My rule of thumb is this: if she's more than 15-20 minutes late, in all probability she's a big time tester/flaker and she'll be a pantload of trouble before you know it. This is often a problem with women who either are, or think they are, HB material. You may have to "next" her right after your short meeting. If you don't, then have your "I don't like lateness" speech all set when she's 20 minutes to an hour late for your first or second date. Don't think so? Try it. You'll see. To control this, trade cell phone numbers when you set up the date. If anyone's running late, they'll have a chance to save the situation.

Remember -- even though it's gone well with her online and on the phone, the first four minutes in person are critical. It's up to YOU to control the situation. You need to be light, relaxed, friendly and funny right off. Put her at ease, because there's a 50% chance she'll be nervous at first. Get her warmed up.

Don't get all wrapped up in "Does-She-Like-Me-itis." Put what you've learned here on this site about first meetings to use and have fun with it.

END THE DATE FIRST! Particularly on a high note. Walk to her car or wherever and, if you mean it, tell her that it was fun meeting her. Then go for a LIGHT kiss. She'll either kiss you on the lips or the cheek. Either way, don't read too much into it. I've had really good relationships with women who gave me a cheek-ed first kiss. If you wish, tell her you'll be in touch. But DON'T ask her for a date until you call her 2-6 days later.

Good luck!

 

[Optimuspiglet]

Hey Bud, good stuff here.

What about the clothes? I was thinking of wearing a nice t-shirt with a good pair of jeans. Will this work? Or should I go the dress shirt and khacki route?

If it's a short date, how long should it be? I'd feel weird about going in for a kiss on a date where it's only in a coffee shop for 35 minutes, then walk her out to her car and kiss her. I just think it would have to be a 2-3 hour date for that.

What do you think?

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by fan27
A short coffee date (about an hour) is my standard first date. I will usually have a drink with my date for about 45 minutes or so and then go for a walk with her. Theres no pressure, its cheap, and if it aint going good it doesn't have to last long.

Good Luck

Beautiful. Exactly what i do.

Check out this thread, specifically for MY responses. Golden.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?threadid=33919

 

[Bud Wiser]

Originally posted by Optimuspiglet
Hey Bud, good stuff here.

What about the clothes? I was thinking of wearing a nice t-shirt with a good pair of jeans. Will this work? Or should I go the dress shirt and khacki route?

If it's a short date, how long should it be? I'd feel weird about going in for a kiss on a date where it's only in a coffee shop for 35 minutes, then walk her out to her car and kiss her. I just think it would have to be a 2-3 hour date for that.

What do you think?

Definitely go the dress shirt and khaki route -- and make sure they're cleaned and pressed properly. If you're not good at ironing, take them to the dry cleaners and have them do it. It's cheap insurance.

Heck, you can go up to an hour or so on the first meeting; just make sure you end it first. As for the first kiss, the key is to make it affectionate and light. No need to play tongue hockey early on, but you want to demonstrate some physical interest in her, and that's what that first kiss is about.

Got get 'em.