Shes trying to make me stop

[wonderer]

Looks like I might be going into a relationship, however wanted to see how to play this situation - shes trying to make me stop taking drugs, I take re-creationals when I go to clubs maybe 1-2 a month, I dont want to stop. She wont be with me when I take them so she'll never know, so should I agree and do them anyway or not be a b*tch and stand my ground, I dont want her to think ill bend to her whim and show weakness?

 

[C00lAF]

The only thing you should stop anything for is your general health,cause ud live longer i guess.i wouldnt take it as a bend and weakness if she is acctulay trying to help me,and not trying to change my personality/behavior. Thats my point of view.

 

[marmel75]

Do what you want. Don't be upset for her for not wanting you to end up on the news as an overdose victim when you get the "wrong" drug. and let me tell you, that sh!t happens a lot more than people want to admit...as a club DJ for 8 years I've seen it more than I care to remember.

 

[dude99]

Looks like I might be going into a relationship, however wanted to see how to play this situation - shes trying to make me stop taking drugs, I take re-creationals when I go to clubs maybe 1-2 a month, I dont want to stop. She wont be with me when I take them so she'll never know, so should I agree and do them anyway or not be a b*tch and stand my ground, I dont want her to think ill bend to her whim and show weakness?

As much as i disagree with drugs ( not for me,) agreeing to make a change that you don't want to change, this early in a relationship sets a very bad precedent for you. You change (even if just agreeing behind her back,) this early and this easy what else is on her laundry list of things for her to fix in you........

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

As much as i disagree with drugs ( not for me,) agreeing to make a change that you don't want to change, this early in a relationship sets a very bad precedent for you. You change (even if just agreeing behind her back,) this early and this easy what else is on her laundry list of things for her to fix in you........

This is right, you guys aren't even official yet and she is asking you to change yourself already? Granted, drugs are bad anyway and you should stop, at least on your own. But with women this seems like she is trying to get you under her wing. If she is never gonna find out, then so what?

 

[The Duke]

If recreational drugs are who you are as a person and it means a lot to you then keep doing them. Be up front and tell her you and drugs are a package deal. She can take it or leave it. Don't be a puzzy and tell her what she wants to hear becuz you want a piece of azz so badly. I don't think giving up drugs would be weak at all. Its weak people that use them!

I wouldn't date anybody that was a drug user either. And she'll find out....you will get drunk/high at the club some night, she'll call you up wanting some sechs. When you show up at her place you won't be able to hide it. And if you don't show up at her place she'll know why.

 

[Serenity]

@wonderer You'll be perceived as weak if you rarely or never stand your ground, but it will not weaken you to agree once in a while. Most likely you'll be perceived as much weaker if you can't stop with drugs, if others perceptions about your strength matters to you.

Definitely do not lie, dishonesty is a real evil. So this is a two way choice if you're going to play it fair, but it is YOUR choice. You know the possible risks and consequences of your two options. If you quit doing it and agree you'll lose the fun you have on drugs once or twice a month, but you'll get her and will probably find other things to enjoy. If you don't quit you risk losing her, but that's not a certainty. She might eventually accept it anyways because she faced her own choice, to be with you despite this or to lose you.

You need to assess for yourself what's most valuable to YOU. Is it doing recreational drugs once in a while or is it this girl? You must know or figure out what you want the most, the forum cannot possibly know this and everyone who answers does so out of their personal preference.

Don't make a choice based on your image of being weak or strong, that's just stupid. Choose based on what direction you'd like going in life. None of us can have it all, sometimes we'll lose some no matter what we choose. In such a situation it's about reducing the loss and choosing what's most valuable to you, but again we can't define to you what's worth more.

Just out of curiosity, what drug(s) are you taking?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

She no doubt wants you to stop doing drugs because she perceives they create psychological instability. If she is going to enter into a relationship with someone, she wants that person to be stable.

Are you unable to give up the drugs? Then you need to give them up.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

What are "re-creationals drugs" now a days?

Besides alcohol, MDMA and cocaine are the most popular club/party drugs. Weed is still popular but more as something to take in small groups or by yourself. (Sex while stoned is great btw.)

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I agree that you shouldn't do it because she tells you to. You should do it because you want to.

Recreational drugs are something most people grow out of. Some don't.

I went on a date a while back with a bird and I'm pretty sure she was doing coke - she admitted she 'loved' the stuff. She became very aggressive towards the end of the night which is a shame coz she was pretty cool to start with. I also have a mate who's in his forties and does it every week as well. Having given up smoking weed, and seeing these guys, I realise how tragic it is now. I like a drink and tobacco nowadays. That's about it.

It will start to become detrimental to your health eventually and probably quite quickly.

 

[stevo]

Don't be mad when she moves on. If she was any smarter, she wouldn't have to tell you to improve your life.

No judgment.