She's smoking hot, need advice.

[Echoes]

What's up folks?

I'm brand new here and going through the material has been an eye-opener for sure.

Here's the deal...sorry in advance if this is kinda long:

I am interested in a girl who is absolutely stunning. She is the type I would never have gone for in the past but the NEW ME has finally said "What the hell? I've got nothing to lose" so I have been working it a bit. Man, I wish I had found this place before I met her but oh well....moving forward anyway.
I think any normal guy here would say she's an 8.5 or a 9. Maybe higher but 10's are hard to give out in my opinion. Smokin'.

Here's some background info.

I am a full time professional musician who plays in two bands, one of which is fairly well known (we can draw 100-200 people nationwide - no big deal I know, but trust me, in the dog eat dog music business this is no easy feat). She's a fan of both bands and has been coming to shows for years but only recently has she been on my radar. There is a 12 year difference between us - I'm the older one. She is also a musician but I think it's more of a hobby at the moment.

Anyway, she came to one of my shows about a month ago and stood in front of me all night - that's when I noticed her. Blonde, beautiful face, great bod...stunning really.

The next day she sends me a friend request on Facebook which I accepted. Then she sends me a private message. I responded in a light hearted and flirty manner. It was well received and we continued the conversation over the next few days. She then sends me another message asking me to watch a couple videos that her band shot. She wanted to know what I thought of them since she respects me as an artist etc. One of them was a normal rock video...full band rocking out...nothing big. The second video was just her, rolling around on a bed in nothing but her underwear...incredibly sexy but not crude at all. She is Facebook friends with all the other guys in my band, but she sent this video ONLY to me...

Of course being a guy it seemed like a green light, but who knows? I replied, gave her a few compliments and that was that.

She comes to another show of mine recently (with a guy - frown) and approaches me afterward...all smiles and a big hug. I'm a bit nervous and the conversation goes well, but I'm certainly not being the smoothest guy in the world. This is our first face to face conversation. I made her laugh a few times and she was touching my arm etc. At that point some dude comes up and starts ****blocking me...she walks away. This interaction lasted maybe 5 minutes. My buddy was watching from a few feet away and after it was over he told me her body language was totally positive and he thinks she wants me. Great!

So anyway, there was another band playing after us so people were still hanging out. I'm talking with my friends and she approaches again saying that she was leaving. I give her a hug and say goodbye. Didn't get her number unfortunately...timing didn't seem right somehow. But anyway I message her on FB two days later and ask for her number. She gives it to me but says she's not very good at answering but she'll always reply to a text. Ok fine.

So I text her a few days later and we go back and forth...lighthearted, fun...it seemed very positive. Her last text came at like 2:30 in the morning but I was in bed. I heard it and new it was her but decided to just reply the next day. I replied but got no response. Ok no big deal. I truly didn't care and I'm not just saying that.

So I wait another full day and then finally call her. I'm a nervous wreck but I think I held it together pretty well. She didn't answer but I left a brief message....just calling to say hi, here's my number, give me a call.

That was Tuesday and I haven't heard back. It's now Thursday. I'm not going to call her again but I'm not about to give up that easily. Here's my plan....tell me what you think:

Her band is playing a show tomorrow night. They are on last out of three bands. My plan is to go to the show, get there while she's playing, and afterwards I'll approach her...big smile, eye contact, head held high. I won't be the first to approach but I won't be the last either.

I plan on saying something like (jokingly and good natured of course):
"Hey ......"
(smalltalk smalltalk)
"So, rockstar...I text, I call, I get nothing from you. I know you're kinda famous now and you probably don't have time for the 'little people' but what gives?"

Just a little busting on her about giving her number but not returning my call. What do you guys think?

My other thought was something like:

(smalltalk smalltalk)
"So, do you write any of the tunes for the band?" (I know she doesn't)
"No it's all ........ he's the songwriter"
"Well I think you ought to get involved more. Here, I've got a song idea for you. You should write a song about a girl who meets this great guy and she gives him her number but doesn't return his call because she's not sure what he wants, but it turns out he just wants to meet for an hour and have a drink so he can get to know her better"

Obviously it won't be one long run on sentence but you get the idea.

Oh, I'm planning on making this interaction last for like 5 minutes TOPS. Maybe 3. In and out quick and dirty. I'm bringing a buddy and tasking him with getting me out of there before I clam up and it gets awkward lol.

So that's about it. I'm just getting back into dating and my game is rusty as hell. ****, I never had any game to begin with and I've decided it's time to step it up. I'm sure she gets approached by guys all the time so if your game is off she'll just cross you off the list.

I'm very interested to hear what you all think. It may not be the best plan, but I don't think its awful, and I'm proud of myself for going for it even if it doesn't work out. And the best part is, unlike in the past, I actually don't care if it works or not....it's just one step on the journey. There are plenty of hot girls out there and I'll hook up eventually.

So, thanks for your time....I know it was a long read.

Thoughts?

 

[teddy240]

It hurts to say, but if a girl gives you her number and says right after she is not good at answering. Thats just silent rejection "ill give you my number so you feel good, but ill never answer" I say, your in a band, act like it! Chicks dig rockstars!

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Here's some general advice: the more you think about a girl, the more you obsess about her, and the more nervous you become around her because of all of these fantasies and expectations you've built. It's not true in all situations, but for the average guy who gets uncomfortable around women, this generally rings true.

I say forget her, go out and have fun. It's no contact time, and you need to show her that your life revolves around you and not her.

 

[Echoes]

It hurts to say, but if a girl gives you her number and says right after she is not good at answering. Thats just silent rejection "ill give you my number so you feel good, but ill never answer" I say, your in a band, act like it! Chicks dig rockstars!

Yeah, the "not good at answering" thing was immediately a red flag for me, but all the other stuff seemed to point toward at least SOME interest on her part.

Like I said before, I'm not at all emotionally invested in this. I'm mostly interested in using this situation to learn and better myself.

I suppose it's possible that the interest was there at first, but then when we talked face to face for the first time she lost interest. No biggie.

I still think it's worth one more shot, if only to prove to myself that I can approach a beautiful woman and go for it. No confidence will be lost by getting rejected...in fact confidence will be built by actually trying, no matter the result.

But, what's up with her sending the hot video to me for my "opinion", but not to the other guys in my band whom I'm sure she respects as artists as well?

 

[Echoes]

Here's some general advice: the more you think about a girl, the more you obsess about her, and the more nervous you become around her because of all of these fantasies and expectations you've built. It's not true in all situations, but for the average guy who gets uncomfortable around women, this generally rings true.

I say forget her, go out and have fun. It's no contact time, and you need to show her that your life revolves around you and not her.

I will concede that for a while there I WAS obsessing about her, and it definitely made me nervous (during our first face to face, and leading up to the initial phone call in particular). But after that phone call, the nervousness somehow just melted away and now I honestly don't give a ****.

The reason for my initial post was to get some opinions on the situation, and for that I thank you guys. I respect, and mostly agree with your opinions, but I'm still going to take a chance and go to her gig. I've got nothing to lose, and if it doesn't get me a call back from her then I'm done with it and moving on. At least I know I tried. A year ago I never would have even attempted anything, so that's progress in my mind.

I guess the best part about this whole experience is that she has lit a fire under my ass. I'm pretty sure there was some initial interest on her part and most of my friends think so too. It's shown me that I CAN be attractive to the hottest of the hot and it has made me want to improve myself, not just in the women/dating arena, but in all aspects of my life.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Anyway, she came to one of my shows about a month ago and stood in front of me all night - that's when I noticed her. Blonde, beautiful face, great bod...stunning really.

You seem to be captivated with her looks. The term you'll read here is "putting her on a pedestal." In other words your giving her so much value solely based on her appearance, when she hasn't shown you anything that says she's worth the effort. Be careful of this mentality as it will make you over-analyze, and nervous if your a newbie.

The next day she sends me a friend request on Facebook which I accepted. Then she sends me a private message. I responded in a light hearted and flirty manner. It was well received and we continued the conversation over the next few days. She then sends me another message asking me to watch a couple videos that her band shot. She wanted to know what I thought of them since she respects me as an artist etc. One of them was a normal rock video...full band rocking out...nothing big. The second video was just her, rolling around on a bed in nothing but her underwear...incredibly sexy but not crude at all. She is Facebook friends with all the other guys in my band, but she sent this video ONLY to me...

First thought that popped in my head is she's trying to get in good with you because she sees it as a networking opportunity. Your in two bands, she's just starting out in one, she wants to learn some tricks, potentially maybe meet some people through you that could help her career and band aspirations.

Second thought that popped into my head when you said she sent you a sexxxy vid of her, is she might be interested OR she might be an attention w-hore.

Of course being a guy it seemed like a green light, but who knows? I replied, gave her a few compliments and that was that.

You gave her validation for the compliments she was fishing for.....again nothing wrong with a few well placed compliments, but don't make it a habit or you risk coming off as Mr. Suck Up, Mr. I Want You So Bad, Mr. Please Go Out With Me.

The other lesson you will learn here is to differentiate between ACTUAL INTEREST and VERBAL INTEREST. If a women tells you how great you are, how handsome you are, how sexxy you are, how talented you are its understandable why one would think the girl is very interested, right? Well if she is never available when you ask her out, what does that tell you? She's not THAT interested, not interested enough or really not interested at all. Learn to judge women based on their ACTIONS, not their words.

She comes to another show of mine recently (with a guy - frown) and approaches me afterward...all smiles and a big hug. I'm a bit nervous and the conversation goes well, but I'm certainly not being the smoothest guy in the world. This is our first face to face conversation. I made her laugh a few times and she was touching my arm etc. At that point some dude comes up and starts ****blocking me...she walks away. This interaction lasted maybe 5 minutes. My buddy was watching from a few feet away and after it was over he told me her body language was totally positive and he thinks she wants me. Great!

Another lesson, whenever you see the target girl and she's with another guy, NEVER assume that he is automatically her date, her bf or a guy she is fuvking. You wouldn't believe how many "orbiters" aka: guy's who are stuck in the friend zone, but think if they just continue to hang out with said girl any chance they get, that "one day" she will magically fall in love with them. Unless you explicitly see them kiss, holding hands etc, carry on as if she's single. To be honest this rule applies to all women regardless, but its up to you on where to drawn that moralistic line in the sand on who's game on and who's off limits.

She's touching you = positive sign, could mean comfort, could mean attraction or a little of both. In either case that is ALWAYS a good sign. At this point, I would say there is a level of interest from her, but its your job to amplify it and make her lust/want you.

So anyway, there was another band playing after us so people were still hanging out. I'm talking with my friends and she approaches again saying that she was leaving. I give her a hug and say goodbye. Didn't get her number unfortunately...timing didn't seem right somehow. But anyway I message her on FB two days later and ask for her number. She gives it to me but says she's not very good at answering but she'll always reply to a text. Ok fine.

I agree with the poster above, if a woman is truly interested in you she will answer your call or call you back. The text game is fine, its the way most people communicate now, BUT a girl that is truly interested will talk to you and text with you. I'm starting to get the stronger feeling that this girl is drawing the line in the sand for you by saying she doesn't answer calls, but she will text back. At this point, just make a note of it, if she always texts you back and agrees to go on a date with you, then no biggie.

So I wait another full day and then finally call her. I'm a nervous wreck but I think I held it together pretty well. She didn't answer but I left a brief message....just calling to say hi, here's my number, give me a call.

Here's something you'll learn as well. Early in the game, women will not call first or call you back. There could be multiple reasons for this, but this woman was pretty explicit in warning you that she never answers calls. Why not continue flirting with her at the shows and ask her out? I realize you don't necessarily know how long you two will have to chat or if/when you'll see her next, but follow the honey if you want the bee....if you catch my drift.

Her band is playing a show tomorrow night. They are on last out of three bands. My plan is to go to the show, get there while she's playing, and afterwards I'll approach her...big smile, eye contact, head held high. I won't be the first to approach but I won't be the last either.

I plan on saying something like (jokingly and good natured of course):
"Hey ......"
(smalltalk smalltalk)
"So, rockstar...I text, I call, I get nothing from you. I know you're kinda famous now and you probably don't have time for the 'little people' but what gives?"


Ummm no!!!! Definitely do not do this! Don't go to her show, specifically to tell her that she didn't call you back. She knows you called, and she chose not to call you back. Its better to leave it alone for now and then see if she says anything about it next time you see her. If she suddenly stops showing up to your shows, then its pretty obvious she is giving you a clear message. If she comes to the next show and doesn't mention your call, then don't mention it either. If you guys are laughing and the vibe is good, just ask her out for a drink in person. If she dances around that then you know FOR CERTAIN that her ACTIONS are clearly saying "not interested, sorry."


CONTINUED BELOW

 

[Pimp-sicle]

My other thought was something like:

(smalltalk smalltalk)
"So, do you write any of the tunes for the band?" (I know she doesn't)
"No it's all ........ he's the songwriter"
"Well I think you ought to get involved more. Here, I've got a song idea for you. You should write a song about a girl who meets this great guy and she gives him her number but doesn't return his call because she's not sure what he wants, but it turns out he just wants to meet for an hour and have a drink so he can get to know her better"

Wow, this is even worse than the plan above. Please do not do this, save yourself the head-ache. You will come off as a grade A tool, a clueless chump, a guy who gets twisted over one unreturned phone call. If there's a dating code of ethics, this rule should be in it....do not call a girl out, on not calling you back.

I'm sure she gets approached by guys all the time so if your game is off she'll just cross you off the list.

So are you trying to get crossed off the list?? Again, look back to the first part of my reply when I mentioned how enthralled you are with her looks. And its blatantly obvious here that you have put her on a pedestal so far above you, like she's some angel, all because of her looks. You mention other guys likely approach her on the regular, yet your doing the same thing these losers do.....how can you stand out from the crowd when your a zebra walking with 50 other zebras???

You should realize that YOU are the prize, you are the guy who women should be chasing after. This girl would be LUCKY to spend time with YOU, not the other way around. Women, especially attractive women see the same monkey dance everyday. You want to know what captures their interest? When they see something they rarely, if ever see. This doesn't mean you have to do something special, it just means you have to learn how to stand out. If 10 guys approach her everyday and tell her she's stunning, and you tell her she's beautiful in the video she sent you, your the same as them. Why? Because she barely knows you, and instead of EXCITING her by flirting with her, your complimenting her like the rest of the herd. Again, compliments aren't bad, but you should use them sparingly and when they have the most power. In other words, once the girl has INTEREST IN YOU, and you give her a compliment, it will work like a ****in' nuke bomb instead of a water pistol.

'm very interested to hear what you all think. It may not be the best plan, but I don't think its awful, and I'm proud of myself for going for it even if it doesn't work out. And the best part is, unlike in the past, I actually don't care if it works or not....it's just one step on the journey. There are plenty of hot girls out there and I'll hook up eventually.

Well you DO care if it works out or not, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here formulating a plan, trying to make it work. But perhaps your saying you don't care to the point where it will be the end of the world if things don't go as planned. Your taking the right steps to learn how to get yourself laid, ironically "like a rockstar." Sorry couldn't resist....LOL


Okay so I know what you might be thinking. Thanks for the feedback, but where do I go from here???


Well here's what you do....


1) Definitely DO NOT carry through with your little plan A or B above, that will get you no where and again it will make you look like a tool box. Whether you go to her show or not is up to you. If you have one of your own show's coming up, it might not be a bad idea to skip her show and see if she shows up to yours.

a) If you DO go to her show, definitely say "hey" to her and see if she brings up the unreturned call. If she doesn't, then don't bring it up yourself. Instead focus on flirting with her, tease her, and see how that goes. If the vibe is good, ask her out, and see what she says. Have a set day, time and place in your head BEFORE time. If she says "she can't" and doesn't offer another time, she's not interested...plain and simple.

2) If you DO NOT go to her show and she DOES NOT show up to your next show, then its reasonable to assume that she is sending you a message of not being interested. Believe me she's not dumb, she knows you like her. Remember the zebras above??

Now in this scenario if I were you, then I would hit her up on Facebook maybe a day or two after, try to catch up and again see how the vibe is....if its positive ask her out, if its not, then you know you have work to do.

From the surface it sounds like this girl is comfortable with you, you have some common interest, but the lack of FLIRTING aka "game" on your part has left this as a stalemate at the moment. Believe me when a girl is interested, they make it VERY EASY to see them.

So don't get lost in the details, simplify this, be logical and you will learn something from it in either case.





PIMP

 

[Echoes]

Pimp-sicle,

Great advice....thanks for the in depth answers.

Couple o' things:

Captivated by her looks? Hell yeah I am...who wouldn't be? She's a fox. That being said, I understand what you mean about putting her on a pedestal. But how do you avoid being incredibly attracted (in a purely physical sense) to an incredibly attractive woman?

As far as complimenting her in the video, it basically went like this. I told her I liked the song (which she didn't write so it's not a direct compliment toward her) I told her it looked professionally shot (which it did - again not complimenting her, directly anyway) and I said she has a nice voice. Not over the top at all right?

The only hint of a compliment I gave her on her looks in the video was this:

"By the way, don't listen to all those fools commenting on the video...you look great." (People were commenting on how she looked slutty - internet teenagers...you know how it goes).

As far as my plan of attack tomorrow night, thanks for being honest. I can see your point about not mentioning the un-returned phone call and I agree. It will seem needy and desperate.

In all honesty I don't care (very much anyway) that she didn't return my call. But after reading around here a little bit it seemed that it might be a good idea to bust on her a little and call her out on her BS, but maybe un-returned phone calls are not such a good topic to tease her about. My problem is that right now anyway I'm not all that great at thinking quickly...finding funny/teasing things to say, in the moment, is NOT my strong suit so I tried to have something planned ahead of time. But that's exactly why I posted it here...I was looking for constructive criticism and you gave it. Plan abandoned. Cheers!

Also, I definitely didn't assume that the guy she was with that night was her date, BF, lover, or anything. The only reason I wrote "frown" above was that at the time his presence made it slightly more difficult to judge her interest level. I was planning on asking for her number that night, but with him there it didn't seem right. Hmm...as I write this it occurs to me that maybe somewhere deep inside on a subconscious level I actually did make an assumption about him without even realizing it. Interesting....

As for the pedestal thing again...you're right. I have put her up above me to a degree. But at the same time I am at least starting realize my value. There are a lot of girls who would want to be with me, and I'm pretty sure SHE knows that as well.

Again thanks for the feedback. I will definitely take it all under consideration.
Mostly I'm looking forward to the learning process and improving my value to myself, and therefore to the women around me as well.

In just two days of browsing this site I have learned a ton about women, life in general, and myself. And the journey is exciting.

Best,
Echoes

 

[Echoes]

I've decided I'm still going to her gig, just to say hi (plus, being a musician I'm actually curious to see if she can sing live or not).

Any other thoughts?

Have at it...I can take it

 

[DonGorgon]

treat her like she is not smoking hot..

 

[Chickfight]

This girl seems very much like the "less is more type". She was into you at first, because she was captivated by your stage presence or whatever, but your behavior around her afterwards can only be described as.. well boring. You're too into her, you're thinking about her too much and she can smell the insecurity. She wants to be the groupie to your rockstar, but you're not acting like one. Drop the "oh I can connect with her on a high emotional and artistic level because we're both musicians" shtick, the only reason a girl would want to intimately connect with you is if she also wants to fvck your brains out. You are the enigma and she has to be the one wanting to figure you out you and experience you. Bring your on-stage energy off-stage.

The only way you should go to her show is with a different chick on your arm, partying hard not giving a sh!t about her, not even offering her a glance and when she comes up to you to ask if you liked the show, tell her you're too wasted to know and plant one on her. She might pull away or even slap you, but either way your reaction is a big grin. Basically just stop giving a fvck! You're a golden god baby!

 

[Echoes]

Alright....

I'm not going to the show after all. Thinking about all this has made me realize that I have a ton of work to do on myself before I can attract the ladies and keep them attracted. But that's a good thing no?

Reading this forum and all the stuff on the website has been both exciting and a bit depressing to be honest. I am psyched to be learning about the DJ mindset but looking at the work ahead makes me realize how bad I've let myself slip (physically and emotionally) and it's somewhat overwhelming. Did the rest of you go through any moments of depression at the beginning of your journey?

I want to be clear, I'm not all out "I want to kill myself" depressed. It's just that this experience has really awakened me to the work that must be done and I'm having a moment of self doubt. Not very manly I know, but it's reality nonetheless.

 

[Sparky]

Alright....

I'm not going to the show after all.

Yea, and then it'll be interesting to see whether she turns up to your one, after you didn't turn up for hers.
Perhaps you not going to her show and her going to yours would rebalance the Rockstar/Groupie thing as talked about above?
Forgive me if I'm wrong, being a newbie myself, but it seems that you deciding to work on yourself rather than going to her show is indeed another "plate" as you lot say. You have inadvertently tipped the scales back into balance a little bit.

What instrument/type of music do you play? Out of interest - I'm a muso as well. Not in any bands at the moment though.

 

[yuppaz]

Don't lose yourself in this sh*t bud. Most important thing is to realize your own value and don't place too high of one on her......and don't be scared to go for what you want. That girl sent you the sexy video because she wanted to turn you on, you not acting on it MAY have made you look like a chump. She says here's my p*ssy and you say...ummm oohhh well...g can I have your phone number?

 

[Echoes]

All,

What a night.

I actually ended up going to her show after all and man, I'm glad I did.

I'm not about to say I sealed the deal because I didn't. But I will say that the night went AWESOME and I had a GREAT time. I went out with the attitude that I was going to have a great time no matter what, and I followed through with that plan. I ended up talking to a whole bunch of people, connected with some old friends I hadn't seen in a LONG time, and smiled all night long.

At one point, about ten minutes after I got there, a guy in front of me dropped some money on the ground and he didn't realize it. So I tapped him on the shoulder and pointed down at the money. It was a couple of bills probably totaling $10. He didn't realize what I was trying to tell him so I bent over, picked it up, and handed it back to him. He was totally grateful. At some point a little later his wife approached me and handed me a drink and said thanks for being honest etc. It really was a great feeling so a few minutes after she walked away I decided to go talk to her and thank her for the drink. We chatted for a few minutes and I asked her husband's name. She told me and I went over to him, big smile, introduced myself and thanked him for hooking me up. He said thanks and we chatted for a few minutes.

The reason I'm telling you this is that it set such a positive tone for the whole night. I had a confident, positive interaction with two total strangers and I really felt like I was coming out of my shell.

Moving on...

I watched the band, made lots of eye contact and smiled a bunch at the girl I like (who can actually sing pretty well btw) and continued to socialize with strangers and old friends alike. I was having a blast and wasn't really thinking of her at all (ok maybe a bit every few minutes, but mostly I was focused on just having fun).

Anyway, after they were done playing she came straight over to me, gave me a huge hug, and we talked for a few minutes. I made lots of eye contact and never once mentioned the call that she didn't return. Her mom was there to watch the show and when she (her mom) was about to leave, the girl said "I'm going to walk my mom out....don't leave".

Nice!

I stuck around talking to my friends and finally she came back in, came straight over, and we talked for a few minutes more. The conversation went as smooth as could be, I didn't feel self conscious or awkward AT ALL, never at a loss for words, lots of eye contact etc. MAN that felt great!

So finally I said I had to go, she gave me another huge hug and planted three big enthusiastic kisses on my cheek. I didn't say "call me" or "I'll be in touch" or any of that. I just said great show, see you soon.

So yeah....I'm not really sure where to take it from here but I don't really care. I had a great time and I was full of positive energy and I'm pretty sure she picked up on that. In my mind, whether or not I get a date with her, the night was a HUGE success and I'm psyched I decided to suck it up and go out.

Life is fricking GREAT!!!

Thought you'd all like to know.

All the best,
Echoes

 

[Echoes]

So I'm curious to know what you guys think of my night. Again, it wasn't really about hooking up with this girl, but more of a confidence building exercise and I personally think it was a big success. I'm still excited about it.

And here's an update: She texted me a few hours ago which is cool. She thanked me for coming to the show and asked if I actually liked it or if I was just being nice. Honestly it feels like she's fishing for compliments a little, but to be truthful I actually did think they were pretty good...not really my favorite kind of music but they were good at what they did.

I haven't responded yet but plan on it later tonight. It's just nice to know that I was on her mind.

The other cool part was that the guy who came with her to MY show was there, but he left while she was talking to me. Trying not to read into that too much...I probably am...but it was pretty cool nonetheless.

Fire away! And thanks....

Echoes

 

[Igetit!]

So I'm curious to know what you guys think of my night.

You want to know what we think about your night?

Uhh...well,given everything you said that went down,it seemed pretty good to me.


You said......


"The night went awesome"
"I had a great time"
That you "smiled all night long"
"I had a confident, positive interaction with two total strangers and I really felt like I was coming out of my shell"
"the night was a HUGE success"


Well given all that,it seemed like pretty good night to me.


The ONLY THING that kinda threw me off was this thing you said right here.....

"Life is fricking GREAT!!!"

Normally,that'd be a good thing to hear someone say,but LESS THAN 24 HOURS AGO you said....

" Did the rest of you go through any moments of depression at the beginning of your journey?

I want to be clear, I'm not all out "I want to kill myself" depressed."

So to go from talking about being depressed and how the type of depresion you have isn't the "I want to kill myself" type,to go from that to "Life is fricking GREAT!!!" in LESS THAN 24 hours,well....it's kinda,kinda weird man.


But don't let me rain on your parade. As long as you're happy,hey...I guess that's all that matters.

And here's an update: She texted me a few hours ago which is cool. She thanked me for coming to the show and asked if I actually liked it or if I was just being nice. Honestly it feels like she's fishing for compliments a little, but to be truthful I actually did think they were pretty good...not really my favorite kind of music but they were good at what they did.

I haven't responded yet but plan on it later tonight. It's just nice to know that I was on her mind.

So have you given up on trying to date this girl? Seems like you're more concerned the good night you had rather than getting together with her.


If you have,that's cool and all,I'm just asking because of the title of the thread.

 

[mahoney]

Given that there are shared interests here and you seem to get on - I don't know why you are focused on 'game', just be natural. game stuff is for when there is no common ground and there is nothing to work with

Also if you are facebook friends don't see the value in getting the number as though it was some kind of prize. If i'm facebook friends with someone i NEVER ask their number, what would i even need it for?

 

[Echoes]

Wow...tough love from you guys. I guess I need it, and that's cool...much appreciated.

The ONLY THING that kinda threw me off was this thing you said right here.....

"Life is fricking GREAT!!!"

Normally,that'd be a good thing to hear someone say,but LESS THAN 24 HOURS AGO you said....



So to go from talking about being depressed and how the type of depresion you have isn't the "I want to kill myself" type,to go from that to "Life is fricking GREAT!!!" in LESS THAN 24 hours,well....it's kinda,kinda weird man.

I see your point. Trying to convey precise meaning in writing is not the easiest thing to do. I suppose "depressed" wasn't the best choice of words. What I actually meant to convey (and I said it a little later in the same post) was that I was a bit overwhelmed and having some self doubt. It was kind of getting me down and I used the word "depressed" a few times to convey that, but I think that was too strong a word.

The reason for "Life is fricking GREAT!" was that I went from that down state of mind, to deciding not to be a wussy, to going out and doing something about it, and having a blast and some success. It was definitely an elated feeling which has continued all the way through today, and I plan on holding on to it.

I figured this was a supportive place and you'd all like to know that I was making positive strides toward improving myself and eventually applying that toward dating etc.

But don't let me rain on your parade. As long as you're happy,hey...I guess that's all that matters.

Yep.

So have you given up on trying to date this girl? Seems like you're more concerned the good night you had rather than getting together with her.

I haven't given up, but it has ceased to be as important to me as it was when I started this thread. Reading all the stuff on this website...the Boot Camp material, the Bible, forum posts etc...has put my mind squarely where it needs to be for the time being...on myself. I figured that was a good thing. I'm not as concerned with how my night went as it might seem (even though yes, I did ask for your feedback) I just think it was a step in the right direction and was looking for some positive reinforcement. Again, truly getting your point across can be challenging in writing.

Maybe this thread, or even this website, is not the place to look for such things.


Thanks for the feedback.

Echoes

 

[Echoes]

Given that there are shared interests here and you seem to get on - I don't know why you are focused on 'game', just be natural. game stuff is for when there is no common ground and there is nothing to work with

That's the best part...I was just being natural. Yes, I was focused on eye contact, being positive, smiling, keeping my head up...game stuff. But it didn't feel forced at all. I didn't feel out of my element, or not as much as I had expected.

Also if you are facebook friends don't see the value in getting the number as though it was some kind of prize. If i'm facebook friends with someone i NEVER ask their number, what would i even need it for?

She friended me and I didn't know her at all at the time. Still barely do but whatever. Call me old fashioned but I certainly wasn't going to ask her out over FB. Plus so much communication is done by texting these days....can't really text her over FB unless I'm missing something.

Thanks for your feedback.

Echoes