Jet Jockey
Don Juan
Ok, here's one I am not sure how to deal with, partly because of the circumstances. I am 40. She is 42. We had been having a long distance relationship, with her living 4 hours away. It wasn't a problem at first, in fact she always came to see me, every chance she had. IL was high, she would get sad and just about cry when she had to leave to go home.
Well after several months of this, and her driving 8 hours roundtrip every week to see me, I asked her to move in. She was so happy I asked her to, and it was gonna be good to be able to see each other more freuquently. We both felt we wanted this and were ready. I had been a player, having a diffrent woman for everyday of the week, and all that. I guess I got to the point where, I had the "one" it was her, and we started a committed relationship.
I helped her to go get her things from her old apt 4 hours a way, and we got that stuff moved in. All was good or so i thought.
Then the sh@t started. First of all I have a "friend" ( I use the term looslely, no longer a friend) that thought she was way cool. She made friends with him and his girlfriend, and I thought this was good. She knew no one here, and I figured, it would be good to have mutual friends. She has always been faithful to me and , I to her. I am not a cheater and a liar. But my so called friend is.
He secretly wanted in her pants. I work nights, and when I would go to work him and his girlfriend would show up to play cards with her. Now, he knew she would not cheat, he tested the waters, and she stood strong. So he set out to mess us up, figuring that if we were to break up, then he could get her to come stay with him ( since she knew no one else and was miles from home) Brilliant plan, but she wasn't interested in his nasty arse!
That didn't stop him from sharing with her, all my exploits, telling her about woman after woman i bedded down, alot of things i would have preferred to keep in the closet. He drug the whole closet out and forced it in her face. Told her about me having one chick leave, in time for another to show up 20 min later etc... that mf-er!! Well, that sucked, but to make matters worse, he then started telling her things like i have a huge temper, saying i was beating my women, ( I have never been like that!) Just basically, trying to shred any credibility i had with her.
She was in a abusive relationship and DID get beat and cheated on . time had passed, and she had swore men off, until she met me. Of course, all her old thoughts and fears came flooding back as he weaved his tales.
She started making a major incident out of little mistakes I would make. We had 2 vehicles, I once took one, and thought the keys were in the other, but they weren't. She couldn't find them. We lived in the country out in the sticks, so it wasn't exactly like she could walk anywhere if need be..but yet, I didn't think it was such a huge screw up either! things like that, he turned against me too, putting in her head things like " he's trying to control you when he does that", or if i asked her to do a few things for me ( us) before i went to work, then I was" being bossy". You get the picture. He was all over it, filling her head with poison. She being somewhat impressionable, an him being very convincing didn't help either.
Then came the morning I lost my temper. I usually am laid back, but I had had enough of this crap. I told her, that i did not want her to hang out with that liar and cheat, and I raised my voice out of frustration when i said it. i went to him a couple times prior and told him to cut it out, and he always, managed to get evasive, and just stayed away until i went to work. She viewed them by now as valuable "friends" since she knew no one else.
Well, she started telling people at work about her fears he had put in her head, and of course these people she told didn't know me, but they knew and liked her, and wanted to "protect" her from me. She was urged to move out. A friend of hers from work (female) came and helped her move while i was at work. i came home to a empty house, and no idea where she was. i was shocked, worried, and hurting all at the same time.
My attempts to reach her were futile. everyone covered for her. her friends and family pretended not to know where she was. I finally did get someone to tell me, and when I called, to ask her if we could discuss this, I was intercepted by her friend, and not allowed to talk to her.
So now her friends "relay" messages to me if I try to get in touch. Normally, i would just say next, and move on, but I don't because, 1. If she knew, what really happened ( i can prove it, because I got the ex friend to admit it, and he is willing to sing as to what he was doing) I could clear things up, and she wouldn't be afraid. She is AFRAID of me!!!! I confronted him, and told him basically, he made the mess, he needs to help clean it up. I have leverage on him cuz he happens to be in trouble with the law, and I informed him I would drop a dime on him, if he doesn't clena it up. She says, ( thru her friends) she needs her space, and loves me, but will call in her "own good time" I know she's scared and not sure whether or not to trust me. She was only living with me for 3 weeks when this all happened, but we were seeing each other far longer. But she wasn't living with me she says, so how does she know i am not this terrible monster he has me portrayed to be.
Problem is the space issue, and getting communication open. If i ignore her, ( I have tried that) She doesn't call. Her friends say because she is still "scared" of me. How can I straighten this out with her?? I think communication is key, but its virtually cut off with all the c*ck blockers here!!!I try to relay messages, such as lets meet for dinner at a public place) but the damn friends of hers don't relay the freaking message. I love her, and i think she feels the same, but is petrified. If i date other gals, i know her...she'll ay ou ARE a player!!! He was right!!! How do i salvage this? Any ideas? I know quite a few will say move on, next her, etc. I'd like to try a few more things first if anyone has a great idea, that may work to get the truth out to her. I am pretty sure if the c@ck blockers would step aside, I could salvage this. She crys alot I am told, and tells everyone she loves me and misses me, and wishes i weren't such a player etc... Geeez! I let my other girls go to be with her, because we became committed, and I don't cheat. 2 way street thing and so on. Any help out here???
Well after several months of this, and her driving 8 hours roundtrip every week to see me, I asked her to move in. She was so happy I asked her to, and it was gonna be good to be able to see each other more freuquently. We both felt we wanted this and were ready. I had been a player, having a diffrent woman for everyday of the week, and all that. I guess I got to the point where, I had the "one" it was her, and we started a committed relationship.
I helped her to go get her things from her old apt 4 hours a way, and we got that stuff moved in. All was good or so i thought.
Then the sh@t started. First of all I have a "friend" ( I use the term looslely, no longer a friend) that thought she was way cool. She made friends with him and his girlfriend, and I thought this was good. She knew no one here, and I figured, it would be good to have mutual friends. She has always been faithful to me and , I to her. I am not a cheater and a liar. But my so called friend is.
He secretly wanted in her pants. I work nights, and when I would go to work him and his girlfriend would show up to play cards with her. Now, he knew she would not cheat, he tested the waters, and she stood strong. So he set out to mess us up, figuring that if we were to break up, then he could get her to come stay with him ( since she knew no one else and was miles from home) Brilliant plan, but she wasn't interested in his nasty arse!
That didn't stop him from sharing with her, all my exploits, telling her about woman after woman i bedded down, alot of things i would have preferred to keep in the closet. He drug the whole closet out and forced it in her face. Told her about me having one chick leave, in time for another to show up 20 min later etc... that mf-er!! Well, that sucked, but to make matters worse, he then started telling her things like i have a huge temper, saying i was beating my women, ( I have never been like that!) Just basically, trying to shred any credibility i had with her.
She was in a abusive relationship and DID get beat and cheated on . time had passed, and she had swore men off, until she met me. Of course, all her old thoughts and fears came flooding back as he weaved his tales.
She started making a major incident out of little mistakes I would make. We had 2 vehicles, I once took one, and thought the keys were in the other, but they weren't. She couldn't find them. We lived in the country out in the sticks, so it wasn't exactly like she could walk anywhere if need be..but yet, I didn't think it was such a huge screw up either! things like that, he turned against me too, putting in her head things like " he's trying to control you when he does that", or if i asked her to do a few things for me ( us) before i went to work, then I was" being bossy". You get the picture. He was all over it, filling her head with poison. She being somewhat impressionable, an him being very convincing didn't help either.
Then came the morning I lost my temper. I usually am laid back, but I had had enough of this crap. I told her, that i did not want her to hang out with that liar and cheat, and I raised my voice out of frustration when i said it. i went to him a couple times prior and told him to cut it out, and he always, managed to get evasive, and just stayed away until i went to work. She viewed them by now as valuable "friends" since she knew no one else.
Well, she started telling people at work about her fears he had put in her head, and of course these people she told didn't know me, but they knew and liked her, and wanted to "protect" her from me. She was urged to move out. A friend of hers from work (female) came and helped her move while i was at work. i came home to a empty house, and no idea where she was. i was shocked, worried, and hurting all at the same time.
My attempts to reach her were futile. everyone covered for her. her friends and family pretended not to know where she was. I finally did get someone to tell me, and when I called, to ask her if we could discuss this, I was intercepted by her friend, and not allowed to talk to her.
So now her friends "relay" messages to me if I try to get in touch. Normally, i would just say next, and move on, but I don't because, 1. If she knew, what really happened ( i can prove it, because I got the ex friend to admit it, and he is willing to sing as to what he was doing) I could clear things up, and she wouldn't be afraid. She is AFRAID of me!!!! I confronted him, and told him basically, he made the mess, he needs to help clean it up. I have leverage on him cuz he happens to be in trouble with the law, and I informed him I would drop a dime on him, if he doesn't clena it up. She says, ( thru her friends) she needs her space, and loves me, but will call in her "own good time" I know she's scared and not sure whether or not to trust me. She was only living with me for 3 weeks when this all happened, but we were seeing each other far longer. But she wasn't living with me she says, so how does she know i am not this terrible monster he has me portrayed to be.
Problem is the space issue, and getting communication open. If i ignore her, ( I have tried that) She doesn't call. Her friends say because she is still "scared" of me. How can I straighten this out with her?? I think communication is key, but its virtually cut off with all the c*ck blockers here!!!I try to relay messages, such as lets meet for dinner at a public place) but the damn friends of hers don't relay the freaking message. I love her, and i think she feels the same, but is petrified. If i date other gals, i know her...she'll ay ou ARE a player!!! He was right!!! How do i salvage this? Any ideas? I know quite a few will say move on, next her, etc. I'd like to try a few more things first if anyone has a great idea, that may work to get the truth out to her. I am pretty sure if the c@ck blockers would step aside, I could salvage this. She crys alot I am told, and tells everyone she loves me and misses me, and wishes i weren't such a player etc... Geeez! I let my other girls go to be with her, because we became committed, and I don't cheat. 2 way street thing and so on. Any help out here???
