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She's losing interest. Dump her or NC?
- Thread starter dbx
- Start date
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
How often do you text/call her?
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
B
BeDJ
Guest
Take a silent dump
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
if she's lost attraction for you going no contact will do you no good. she's already blowing you off, no contact is what she wants. to build her attraction back up she must see your other options. it helps a lot if they are hotter than her.
My thread "Regret" started like that. It starts with her initiating fewer texts and not making time for you. Just disappear for a little bit. You're busy doing fun, exciting things, remember?
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
problem is, it's driving me nuts that she isn't texting etc. it keeps going through my mind that i'm losing her and i don't want that.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
B
BeDJ
Guest
She's busy, plate spinning, going through hard times, etc. You are low on her priority list. Click my sig and move on.
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
dbx said:
Dude, you're head is sorted out and you know what behavior is required. She's not going to forget about you and she's not going to lose interest and simply drift away if you don't text her every day.
She's feeling pressured. The relationship has gone from "texting because I want to" to "texting because I feel like its expected". And she started feeling pressured days before the texts stopped coming.
So, what's the prescription? STOP. Go cold. If she doesn't want pressure, create the opposite... a vacuum. You do that by disappearing from her life so she can remember why she was "texting because I want to".
She's already not initiating anything or calling you. You want to call her and tell not to call you? That doesn't make any sense.dbx said:
Leave your ego out of it and let it be, she knows where to find you. She's already giving you the hint it may be ok to go and sleep with other girls.
She's driving you nuts without touching you or spreading rumours? You got to be 100 times stronger than that. You can't let anything affect you unless its physical or damages your name.
But that's their goal, they make you emotionally attached, and then cut it off to see how desperate you are.
Ok, I see your points.
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I just this second typed this message in another thread. I think it applies to you:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
Dudes, don't go cold and expect the girl to fall in love with you. Just change your damn behavior. Call her to ask her out from now on and stop communicating so much between dates. Your ego thinks you need to remain in constant contact with this girl to keep her interest level up. It's the exact opposite. Contact to ask out only. At least pretend you have a life outside of her.