she's jealous, interest?

[cNfny]

this girl i've dated a while ago and have remained friends with for a while now messages me today with "what are doin later? we never hang out anymore "

now i just saw her yesterday and we hang out probably 3-4 times a week.

come to find out during our convo she says "why can you tell my friend about the girl you've been talking to and not me?"

i replied with "why do you care?" and she just said "ok whatever"

now i'm confused, i know this obviously made her jealous but does that mean she likes me still or is just being a girl wanting me to ALWAYS be interested in her? i am still attracted to her but she has numerous times made it clear we're just friends which is OK with me.

my question now, this seems like oppurtunity to get her in bed again, how should i approach this for victory?

 

[reset]

You came up with a good reply to her.

BUT--You see her 3 to 4 times a week.... I don't know where this is going but for a girl you're attracted to, and are not dating (she's made it clear to YOU she wants to be friends) that's WAY TOO MUCH CONTACT.

You're just friends but she wants you to want to be more than friends.

Yes, she's jealous. Yes, she always wants you to be interested in her. ALWAYS. Even if she has no intention of ever getting with you, the fact that you remain interested in her is of the utmost importance in her mind. It's all ego. Just knowing that you want to be with her, is probably enough for her. She wants you in her puppy-dog harem.

 

[cNfny]

ok so whats the next step here in figuring out the truth with her about me?

 

[Alkali]

Take a blind leap? :box:

 

[cNfny]

Take a blind leap?

and do what exactly?

 

[Alkali]

Well from what I'm hearing it would seem to me that she's giving you mixed signals.

One. She says she wants to be friends.

Two. She acts like she wants to be more than friends.

I'd trust actions over words. So make a move.

I like making girls laugh before I kiss them for the first time.

So make her laugh. Look into her eyes. Look at her lips. Look at her eyes.

Move close. Read the situation from there.

Worst case scenario: You feel akward around her for a few days.

Best case scenario: You have a new sex-buddy.

Is it worth the risk? :crackup:

 

[reset]

ok so whats the next step here in figuring out the truth with her about me?

The truth about her is she wants you to want her. That's probably all she wants. She wants you, to want her, and if you do, she has to do nothing. You want her, she wins. And the fact that she wants you to want her, and she knows you know she doesn't want you back, means she is going to want you to want her even more.

Ego. You're building up her self-esteem.

Chick tells me she wants to be friends, she's out of the picture forever.

But, you still want to game her. You may get different advice, but my advice would be, ignore this chick. Cut her out of your life. Take that 3 to 4 times a week contact and turn it into zero. Get her to the point where she has to suck your dyck just to get you to acknowledge her presence.

 

[Alkali]

I like his answer better.

 

[cNfny]

I like the cutting contact idea but! Why does the notion that she'll just forget about me from lack of interaction come to my head?

 

[reset]

Because it's something you haven't experienced.

If she has any interest in you at all (even the phony interest of just wanting your attention to gratify her ego) you not being too available will drive her insane.

But, you're doing this as a game, trying to one-up her. You have a girl who has told you she wants to be friends. Personally I would walk away for real.
Why make time for a girl who wants to be friends when you want to sleep with her? It's not like you can have any sort of real friendship with her.

Dude, girls like to have guys around that like them, just for the hell of it. Often these girls think of these guys as "friends", and the guy "friends" think being "not-friends" is just around the corner.

You'll ignore her for awhile, then she'll be all sweet "hey I miss you. I want to see you" then you'll think "this is it!" and boom! you'll be right back in friend-zone.

You're playing her game.

I'd say play your own game on a different court, but that's just me.

 

[cNfny]

...

 

[cNfny]

I understand totally but, what you're saying is that this will only ever be just an attention game? She could never genuinely want me more than a friend?

 

[cNfny]

I understand totally but, what you're saying is that this will only ever be just an attention game? She could never genuinely want me more than a friend?

 

[Cremasta]

Just ask her if she's got any hot friends she can set you up with.

If she agrees, then great, that's another opportunity for you.

If she doesn't, well, you'll just have to judge her reaction to see what she wants.
You can even play this one a bit with "Well, what's the point of hanging out with a hot chick like you if you're not going to set me up with any of your hot friends?" Basically, you're giving her a compliment but at the same time telling her you don't consider her an option... she can either make the effort to 'be considered', or she can get the shyts on and leave. At least you're not hanging out with a waste of time 3-4 days of the week when you could be out looking for something more satisfying.

 

[cNfny]

I would but all her 4 friends I already know and are either not attractive or taken. She's a real introvert and doesn't do much socially.

 

[Lust]

A girl doesn't truly realize she's attracted to you until you've made her jealous.

Hence the importance of using a jealousy plotline in sets.

 

[cNfny]

So you're saying that jealousy is an act of hidden interest? In other words she likes me more than a friend?

 

[reset]

So you're saying that jealousy is an act of hidden interest? In other words she likes me more than a friend?

Dude, you're seeing this stuff as words, you have to let it sink in. Jealous of your ATTENTION to another girl does not mean she's jealous in the sense that she wants you.

Women are VERY COMPETITIVE WITH EACH OTHER. They want to be the girl that has the guy's interest. It's an EGO thing. It lets them know that they are the perfect pretty princess. That's all they want to know. That they are desired. For them, it can be the same as getting laid (for a guy). They need that quick gratification, and after that, they've gotten what they want, so they don't need you anymore. Women love attention. This is why you have so many girls with puppy-dog harems, guys who will bend over backwards and make fools of themselves in the false hope that they are going to get with the chick. They aren't. They are just part of the collection.

I have a large DVD collection. For some retarded reason, I like to buy DVD's and say, "that's mine. I own that movie. It's a part of me." How often am I going to watch the damn thing? Once a year, maybe? If that? And if I loan one to someone, and never get it back, all of the sudden I'm going to really want to watch that damn movie again. Crap I wanted to watch whatever the **** and the other dude has it and I can't watch it. Then I'll get it back, and I probably won't watch it. Just knowing I have it back is enough.

The same thing with chicks and their puppy dogs. Just knowing they "own it" is enough.


At the end of the day, we don't know this chick. YOU do. And I don't want to dash your hopes, so keep your head straight. Just remember, that whatever happens with this chick, when you get the LJBF ****, it's time to move on. And you don't move on because it will make the girl jealous or want you, you move on becuase it's the right thing to do, for yourself.

This was a long post, hope you get something out of it, other than looking for signs that mean she's going to want to be your girl. Try to see the bigger picture.