She's hot but taken, your advice please

[Bosher]

I recently left my ex after a pretty stressful
year living together. Getting used to being single again I asked out a work colleague. Without boring you as to the reasons why I like this girl, I'll give a little background...

Any of you who work in a big company will probably all have one of those sweet women who you always see in the corridor but never get the oppurtunity to get close to because the place is so goddam huge, well this girl is one of those, WAS one of those. I recently got a new job in a different department and to my pleasant surprise said girlie is now a close colleague of mine. Now those three years of snatched glances in the corridor and canteen became a little awkward as I found myself seeing her every day and realising just how hot she really is.
Now I consider myself quite a realist and I'm pretty sure the indicators from her are positive- she laughs at my crap jokes, prolonged eye contact, she smiles at me. Ok so these could well just be a freindly girl making the new guy feel welcome, well she sure has succeeded because now I'm pretty darned crazy about her.
So, maybe a little hasty here because I didn'y do my homework- I ask her out, quite prepped for a 'no thanks' but thinking of the prize, well she says her boyfriend wouldn't be too happy about this, now I should have been ****y and said that I didn't mind that but I bailed and mumbled something and got out of there. She since emailed me saying she hoped things wouldn't be awkward.

Balls!!

Now my gut says that if her bf wasn't around (she cohabits with him, but I've never met him), then I would be in with a chance as the rapport is good. I realise that I've ****ed up so far, so your thoughts please....

-Is this situation likely to be in my favour?
-Should I just leave well alone and find another woman (tricky 'cos I like her!)?
-Am I just stark reving bonkers and mis-reading the signals?
-How do you steal another mans woman?

My dad once said that some of the best things are stolen, I was confused as he's no thief but niw I realise he was refering to my mum!

Thanks for reading this long post, your advice is most welcome

 

[Slickster]

You've ignored one very important rule.

DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH CO-WORKERS!!!

Especially ones you have to work closely with.

Even if things work out perfectly there will always be times where tension within the relationship will be present. Imagine that tension being dragged into the workplace. Not a good time. Work is tough enough as it is.

You'd be wise to put her in the spank bank and move on.

 

[JohnJones]

The other issue that is paramount is that if she does go for it, are you really going to date her?

Sure you may bang her, but if you actually like the girl the first moment she's out of your sight you'll start wondering if she'll do it to you too.

 

[scordate]

co-worker ? = NEXT !

tell her ( in person );
"yeah I like you, perhaps because you were a friendly face in a new department, i dunno ?
but I agree lets just be friends - hey you have a sister that is single ? + big big grin "

chances are she will have single GF's ;-)

she has gracefully opted for the higher road, staying clear of potential embarresment and you should follow her lead !

/ scordate

 

[Ricky]

Right now use for her social proof to pick up other girls.

Take her out for drinks as friends. Make sure you explicitly state it.

I am into getting wingwomen now. In fact last night I have a story that may almost be too bizarre to post. But i may have an interesting group of wingmen and women.

Although there is one that i will sleep in out of the group, at least 1.

The hot coworker is a problem I also work in a large department. There is a girl that is really cute (not hot but cute) that makes eye contact with me. She has very little relevance to my job position. I will let you know what I do with her. But any of them that work more closely are off limits.

 

[crowes22]

If you keep being her friend, you'll always be her friend. I'm not saying be rude to her, but don't stay on your present course. Ignore her as much as possible, be too busy for her, only reply to business emails. You have to work w/ her so I know you can't be a jerk but trust me move on to other women.

If she knows you are seeing others it will help your cause. It 'may' drive her to you. Be aloof and busy. Don't act or be mad b/c she said no. Act like you don't care. Don't be like all the other pathetic guys bowing at her feet. If you aren't seeing others, then act as if you are. Be busy, you don't have time to be her friend, only her coworker. And for fark sake don't reply to that 'awkward' email. That was done to turn you into her puppy dog nice guy pathetic girlyfriend by getting you to say or show and talk about how crushed you are she has a BF.

You don't care, you have other options. Your'e too busy for her drama. Remember this.

--Crowes

 

[JH6]

never date a co worker.

 

[Bosher]

Several voices of reason here! I'm going to make sure there is no fawning going on, I was tempted to become a friend but aloofness seems the way forward. I also realised that this was doomed before the off, we work far too closely together so it looks like a difnified withdrawal is the way forward....

Thanks

 

[Bonhomme]

Look elsewhere

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