She's gonna go hang out with another guy?

[Scorched]

3 Months into it... She's gonna go hang out with another guy?

I tend to make my girlfriend jealous, I'm a flirt. So maybe this is just karma...

I'll paste the comments they sent to each other on myspace...

*****************************************
Him: Whats up, just dropping by to say hi!

Her: Hey there! What ya been up to??

Him: I've just been travlin around and going to races. I'm up in Bristol right now at the track. I think I'll be home for a few on monday. I'm racing tomorrow and Sunday. What about you, whats up you way? And how bout that sexy profile pic! Nice picture!!

Her: Hey! I haven't been up to much..just school..work..and hanging with friends..I don't have time for much! Have fun racing!

A few days later...

Him: Whats up, was myspacin it up and thought I'd through you a shout. I'm sittin here at the house until the morn and then I have to head to Indiana. Well, I'll jet. Late

Her: Hey, so what's up in Indiana? Let me know when you get back into town!

Him: Its a GNCC race (cross counrty)about an hour east of Indi. I'll be there through Sun afternoon and then be home Sun night untill about Wedns or Thurs. What do you have going next week Mon-Wedns?

Her: Hey..I don't have much going on mon-wed..school and work..I get off work at 3 though.
*****************************************

Maybe she's just trying to piss me off, I can't think straight to know...
Or maybe she is biting his game...

I doubt they are going to go hang out... I'm all over her myspace... Pics of me and her... "Me and Alex " But the second he's like "it was fun hanging out with you" or some crap... I guess I will have to confront her...

She comes over on Tuesday and Thursdays... We have a set schedule... and we really don't know any of the same people. So she could get away with seeing someone else...

What am I spose to do... Get on myspace while she is here...and be like "who is this?"...

 

[resilient]

It seems like she has low interest in you. She wouldn't be going out with this guy if she really liked you. Sorry man.

I might suggest you pull her attraction back into you by going out with a single girl who likes you and subtly drop hints, but she could already be on the way out. If it was a group get together than I'd say that's cool, but she's blatantly going out on a date with him.

I wouldn't comfront her on that myspace guy, because you'll just look insecure and needy, but if she's accepting dates from him, than you'll have to jumpstart your plate spinning engine and begin seeing other women.

How has her body language been lately? Has she been last affectionate, breaking dates. Does she still laugh at your jokes.

Women's interest level doesn't drop over night. It starts high than you begin to do actions that begin to bring down her interest level. I don't know your situation, but maybe you were too available or called too much.

Bottom line: It comes down to respect. She wouldn't be chatting back and forth with him, making plans if she was really that into you.

 

[everywomanshero]

Scorched, I don't really know much based on what you've posted here man.

I don't even know if you really like this girl or not, for instance. Are you banging 6 other chicks? Are you and her exclusive already? See I am more concentrated on you than her. The reason being is that if we concentrate on you, then if you're mind is in the right place and she *still* isn't working out, then getting rid of her is the only option. BUT if your mind isn't in the right place, then NO WOMAN is going to work out.

If you feel she has a lot of redeeming qualities and you really care about her, then I would say to make the changes you need to have made in order to continue this relationship without it effecting your mental and emotional happiness. I assume from the post this would include confronting her regarding the issue, or sidestepping it by asking her to be exclusive with you and enjoying some romantic evenings together wouldn't be a bad idea either. Might ease all this stress you are undoubtably under.

If she's just another chick on the block, then I say just keep banging other chicks. If it affects your state when around other chicks, then either get rid of her or confront her and get this fixed before it becomes a problem for your happiness.

OTOH if you are becoming crazed over this woman and basically *stalking* her and worrying about her every move, then you might want to take a look at getting some therapy.

 

[d9930380]

Not all girls are aware that guys aren't just after sex - Some of them think that they're just friendly ;-) - This guy is young so perhaps his gf is a bit naieve.

Sit her down, tell her you where browsing her myspace account when you saw this and just explain to her that guys like this are just wanting to **** her. Tell her not to go and if she refuses then break-up with her - at least you will have left with your dignity, infact acting decisively and not like a wuss might just get her interested in you again. If she says that you're controlling, just say that's bull**** - "No guy would let his girlfriend go out on a date with another guy", but if she starts pulling the controlling card it's already over.

 

[Scorched]

I just happened to see this CRAP on her myspace...
It is in public view... COMMENTS, not e-mails...

Yes, we are only seeing each other... Or so I thought...

I think I am going to use this situation to my advantage to gain even more power in the relationship... She will also realize how much she likes me after I pretty much tell her lets date around because it looks like she want to.
or
we start hanging out once a week as friends... and still ****ing...

Am I banging 6 girls? No... Then I would not be on this forum asking for help.
Although...
I've got a girl that just broke up with her man as well...
So we are gonna hang out and stuff... That should keep me from being AFC (seeming needy and sh*t)...

I guess we'll see how it goes... See if I can keep straight faced and turn this situation into an opportunity.

Funny how I read a few topics below this one... Something about women jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend, taking better if it comes along...

 

[Docs]

And how bout that sexy profile pic! Nice picture!!
Haha, lamer. You noticed that she didn't even say anything about it.
Let me know when you get back into town!
Pfft, we all want to hang with someone that's been out for a while.

*takes out staple gun and staples OVER-ANALYER on your forehead*

 

[NewMan]

these comments were made in a public forum.

Whilst it's pretty obvious that this guy is interested in your girl, to women, she can see this as him just being friendly.

So you can either make a big stink about this - and show your insecurity - or you can allow her to learn the lesson the hard way.

you have to realize, that you are unable to control the world around your woman - so one of the best things you can do, is learn to let go - your never going to be around her 100% of the time - and the more security you show in yourself, the better.

Worse case scenario - she meets him and fvcks him. Now, there's NOTHING you can do to prevent her from cheating on you - if she's so inclined, but if that happens, you will know about it - so at that point, it'll be your turn to act.

 

[Scorched]

Good points newman and doc...
I think I'll lay low and see how her body language goes...
If she starts acting weird, etc, I'll know why...........

I got cheated on after being in a relationship for 3 years staight.
I think this all goes back to me having trust problems...

I need to be able to put up with dudes hitting on my girl...
And hope she is bright enough to figure out they don't wanna be just friends...
Plus if she wanted to hide him she could... Her comments are set on approve first...

Thanks again guys, seriously, yal prolly just saved my a$$ from looking like an idiot...

But like I said... I'm gonna lay low on it...

 

[resilient]

Good points newman and doc...
I think I'll lay low and see how her body language goes...
If she starts acting weird, etc, I'll know why...........

Perfect. Have high self-esteem, so if she does cheat or not regardless you can still walk away guilt free. Knowing that you did everything you could to be a confident secure man. One tip I would give is to back off a little if you're hanging out too much or if she's not initiating affection. Let her come to you FIRST - also watch her eyes to see brightens up when she sees you.

 

[d9930380]

What happens if you don't know for sure she's cheated when she comes back? You will always be wondering what exactly happened and for a guy like you who has trust issues that's going to be a nightmare.

As I said sitting down before and seeing what her reaction is when you tell her that he's just after sex is the best thing IMO. If she says:

1. "No don't be stupid he's a friend": Probably naieve and OK
2. "Seriously, so do you think I shouldn't see him": Definately naieve and OK
3. "I know, do you not trust me." Answer "offcourse i was just worried for you incase he tried something, you don't know him" : More probably OK
4. "What are you looking at my account, you're controlling me" : Getting defensive by making it your fault so she probably has something to hide. Be worried.

After the fact might be too late as girls can cheat and hide it extremely well unlike men.

BTW - At a bar is different as this time she's agreed to go out on a date.

Just my oppinion. Trying to read it after by body language is certainly a safe option because you won't have created an issue and I actually have a feeling that this is OK however I wouldn't like the idea of my girl going out at all with a guy who has flirted with her and therefore made his intentions clear. It's disrespectful.

 

[jigga23]

how do you treat her? she probably thinks you disrespect her when you flirt a lot. therefore shell do something to get you back making her feel unaccpeted piece of sh!t whatever. i was with this girl for a month or two , not bf gf officially but we slept together hung out everyday etc. in the beginning i disrespected her to long to get into but i did. then the next thing u know she was still all cool then i found out she fvcked this dude i knew cause i was like i dont give a fvck attitude. you might have that attitude dont know. but basically let her do what she wants and dont say anything cause you want to see what she wants to do. if she fvcks up let her know show her the door etc. it doesnt have to be literally but let her know that she can do what she wants but you cant promise her youll be around if she does whatever you dont like.

 

[fertileTurtle]

Tell her if she wants to see other guys, don't bother trying to contact you then see what she says. Be ready to dump her sorry a**. She's testing you to see how much of a p*ssy you are if you ever caught her cheating. Telling her that you won't take that s**t is showing her that you give a fVck for your relationship with her. :trouble:

 

[Scorched]

............ Small Update

The guy that was hitting on her on myspace...
After 2 days of no comments he moves her into his top 20 near the bottom...
(Sounds like they have been talking with something other than comments...)
Yeah I know I've OVER ANALYZING the situation...
This relationship is unheathy for me...
I don't see the girl enough and I see her on a set schedule... Of Tuesday and Thursdays... So I'm close to dropping her because of that anyway...

I'll update you guys tomorrow...

 

[-=Ice-T=-]

Scorched, you can try this.

Put a keylogger on your computer (or her computer) and use it to find her myspace PW. Then you can check all her personal messeges yourself. Yes it is somewhat sneaky, but at the very least it will confirm or dismiss your suspicions, and isn't that worth it?

 

[Scorched]

A keylogger is kinda wrong... if we were married or in a deeper relationship maybe. I need to learn to follow my instincts and read her... etc... But you are correct in that it would be a quick answer...

UPDATE

I asked her about the guy asking her out...
I played it off really well though...
I said some bull crap about my boy making a big deal out of it, but I noticed it first because it was next to my comment. And he was the one that made a fuss about it.
She's like "ha ha he's just a friend"

Of course she would say that...

I told her twice tonight, once when I was on the phone with my friend talking about the situation. And again after I got off the phone.
"If you ever go hang out with another dude alone I'll drop your ass."
I immediatley had her attention. LOL!


I thought all was going well until her mother calls my cell phone looking of her...
HER PHONE WAS OFF!?
It has never been off before. She said It was dead...
But I know she has a phone charger...
I took this as the 2nd red flag and started acting even shadier...

At the end of the night I kissed her on the FOREHEAD and said bye.
Last 15 dates we've made out when I'd drop her off...
So then we exchange text messages...
Her: "You didn't kiss me goodbye"
Me: "Maybe Next time"
Her: "Maybe... um.... okay"
Her: "Are you mad at me about anything?"
Me: "Ummm are you okay? No... Call me if you want..."

So 15 mins pass by
I call her and ask "are you okay...?"
She said "lemme call you back in a minute"
At this point I thought we were trying to break up with each other.
But like having a contest on who would be the last one to not call / text the other person back.
Well she calls me back and I once agian said "Are you okay? I'm not mad at you, I'll just see you thursday..."
She's like okay... bye

PLAN IS...
I unattach my self... Start dating other girls... and on tuesday and thursdays have sex with this girl. LOL Other days I date other girls... period...

 

[Docs]

It sounds like (from that last phone call there), she just gave up for the night and was just wondering what the hell was going on. I know if something that meant a lot to me didn't happen, I'd be questioning it too. That might explain why 'her phone was off', and her not calling you back.

That pretty well means that move lowered her interest level.

Take a break, lol