She's already using the 'F' word, ..."Friend"

[ChaoticGamer]

Hello there DJs!

It's been quite a while since I last posted in here, I'm single again, and willing to get myself a GF again. I'm working for one of the largest corporations in the world, therefore you can find a lot of people at my wokplace. There aren't many hotties around, but there's this HB9, that out-hots the rest of the girls around, and of course all the loser boys are intimidated by her looks, and won't approach... (she even told me how creepy some guys are, that send her emails without even knowing her).

Anyways, I # closed this girl immediately, and started right away to invade her private workspace a little bit as well, to the point that her close colleagues started teasing her saying that she's into me... But I'm seriously concerned because things aren't moving forward, even when I have been ****y and funny, and strong with her, She still comes up with lame excuses to avoid going out and stuff. We usually text each other, and since today was her B/D, I wrote her an email.. and as a reply, part of it mentioned that she's grateful that I'm her Friend. Is there anyway around that?
How should I respond to that?

How can I keep building strong rapport and attraction?

 

[aifia]

cut off contact for a while and if she doesnt bite then next

 

[connor32]

i remember a neg from mystery's book. it's something like "that's why i would never date you, your so clumsy."
it's like your saying it half-jokingly but she'll wonder if she could have u if she wants you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She's just not that into you. Find another girl who is.

 

[Effington]

Doesn't sound like she's that into you...

 

[noirsake]

Well, when she says "friend", it doesn't mean she just wants to be friends. You didn't get the LJBF. Now you didn't expect her to say "I'm grateful you're my boyfriend" right? So the only thing she had to work with was "friend."

Give what Aifia said a try, that will let you know for sure. Good luck!

 

[Max Power]

Hello there DJs!

She still comes up with lame excuses to avoid going out and stuff.

How many times over what period of time have you asked her to do stuff and what are her excuses?

Sounds like a case of low interest.

 

[MooseGod]

I'm gonna differ from the rest of the crowd and say play the friend card. You know what friends do? They hang out together. Once you've got her away from her co-workers and outside of that environment, feel free to work your magic.

 

[The Bat]

To answer your question, you can't keep building strong rapport and attraction because there is NO rapport and attraction in the first place.

You've known this girl for too long to build ANY type of rapport and attraction now. You already know that she is not too interested. You already know that she avoids any of your requests to hang out together. You already know that you are her FRIEND.

So why do you want to continue wasting your time chasing her? Her telling you that you are a good friend is a form of Let's Just Be Friends rejection. She knows that you want her. Yet, she has done nothing to show that she wants you too. What does that tell you? That's right, my friend...you know the answer to that question as well...I don't need to tell you now, do I?

 

[Maxtro]

Your problem is that you haven't attracted her or shown her that you are interested in her. Because of that she thinks that you just want to be her friend.

She still comes up with lame excuses to avoid going out and stuff.

Actually she might know that you are interested in but she has no attraction to you and so she makes excuses to avoid going out with you. Tough luck.

 

[Maxtro]

delete me

Bah double post

 

[Heart Break Kid]

Way attention to how she acts, not what she says. It is all about sub-communication. Do you take it literally when she says she wants a sensitive guy?

 

[MagikDude]

I'd beware here, if she's calling you friend, but not LJBF'ing you, from my experience, she either will eventually, or she is keeping you in consideration for a date, but has someone else on her mind, has not gotten over her ex fully, or is scared of something about you or her, and therefore has issues she needs to work out.

I just finished going through this mess with a woman for the past 7 months, where she was showing tons of IOI, calling/texting all the time, and we were going places together without one mention of the word "date" in it all, making plans and such. All this time she had an on/off again boyfriend that she did a pretty good job of keeping me unaware of, only to reveal it recently and act like I was silly for not knowing. Quite weird for someone who pays her own way, buys ME things, and makes contact if I don't for too long.

Anyway, what I did in this situation, before things get bad for me, was be honest and did a very un-DJ thing, I let her know I was getting feelings for her due to her actions, and that I need to see if she is feeling the same way, or screwing with my head, and that she should stop it. Of course, she just played it off as her "being her silly self", which may or may not be true, but I enlightened her to a few things I feel women already know in case she really is naieve...

- Don't start doing things that will come back on you in a way you don't want (ie. sexy flirting with a plutonic friend)

- Most men who are plutonic friends are considering you as a potential date or at least a wild night in bed, it does not take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

After her initial shock and inability to understand my straightforward talk (I was handling this waaaay better than her, lol), we talked a little afterward, and set things back the way they were. I have no problem if we just remain friends, especially for now, since I still need to look around, and have loads of other prospects. I could really do without the drama of not having set the boundaries on things.

 

[Maxtro]

DonS what you are saying is very difficult and only comes with lots and lots of practice. Very few men have figured out what you have.

 

[ARrocket]

Dude, you ran your best game, number closed, and then got shutdown. She makes excuses EVERY time you ask her to do something. She just isn't that into you.

This is where you went wrong: One of the critical factors in landing a hot babe that almost everybody forgets is that when a women in compelled to chase you as the prize, she will literally go psycho to win your validation. She is powerless to control her crazy feelings for you. But on these forums and in the public that I see, men are always the pursuers. Why is this important? Because hotties are pusued by HUNDREDS OF MEN EVERY DAY; she is the prize to 99.9% of men! Women do not want to be the prize. So if you can demonstrate value to her and at the same time offer her zero validation, she has NO choice but to pursue the prize. I'll repeat: NO CHOICE but to chase you.

Learn this trick and you'll be banging so many 9's that you'll get bored of it! I have.

Sure, it sounds good in theory, but how the hell do you accomplish that? By talking to her, but getting her number, by calling her, aren't you (even if slightly) in effect pursuing her? Isn't that giving her some validation?

 

[slaog]

Sure, it sounds good in theory, but how the hell do you accomplish that? By talking to her, but getting her number, by calling her, aren't you (even if slightly) in effect pursuing her? Isn't that giving her some validation?

By being the prize as DonS said. Be higher value than the women. Women can sense these things if you do it right.

 

[rushing dude 123]

"we r not friends we r enemys jeez get it right, thats it i am moving u up the enemy list" something like that i suppose lol.

I wudn't say that is the problem though dude, u got to go out there and go for some more chicks. If she dosn't want to go out with u then thats fine, just go round the corner and ask the next even hotter chick out. I think u should next her, but thats just my opinion.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Wow, it's amazing.

I can use many of the things stated in your posts. The philosophies I already know. however I'm quite certain I used to have them internalized better before... I recently ended a relationship, and that weakened my game, because I started to treat women like princesses. We all know that's wrong, and just to reiterate, I know the basics, like the commandment posted by DonS, where I should be the one she chases After. However, it's my belief and probably of many others here that, the moment you # close an HB, she becomes the prize. Even If you do it right, without telegraphing intention, the next step is to call her, When that happens she usually has you by the balls.

By the time I read your responses I already was applying the 'ignore-her-for-while' thing... but the question is: When the 'while' is over, How should I come back?

Other than that, mine's not a case of Oneitis, I have a list of other girls that seek my attention, but I believe this one trully deserves giving it a shot.

So, some Examples of how to Turn Myself into the prize would be REALLY USEFUL. C'mon, don't be selfish.. I really want to take my game to the next level. If it takes a lot of practice, I'm willing to do it, but please teach me, DJs.

Thanks a lot for the replies!
Sincerely,
CG

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Hey there DonS!

I can actually feel it... the inner tension, It's not as it used to be, no longer do my palms sweat, no longer am I not able to hold eye contact, no longer is my body language awkward...

But I can feel it, something inside my chest, a weird sensation when I interact with an HB, I can Not define this 'emotion', but I do know it's the source of my weakness. It is the thing I want to get rid the most..

It is the thing that causes that every time I talk to an HB9/10, minutes later makes me think: "THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD'VE SAID When She Said That ! "
-and that's what I hate the Most.

It's Inner Game that I lack! I don't know how that's the answer, but at the same time I know it IS the answer.

Right now, I have at my disposal the very tool I could use to get myself out of this misery, the internet..
Where should I start? What articles should I refer to... What must I read?
I need to become, to transform, I need to internalize what you guys have rooted in your minds.

Please help me