shes 33 I am 26

[dejital]

Hi all, I am new here, I love this site its great. Let me get to the point.

I have a coworker who is 33, she is hot and she looks my age. We get to chat once in a while and she is very fun loving and funny. I get kinda nervous when I am around her bcos....well I like the girl big time! Lately I have noticed that we flirt lightly quite a bit, I personally dont go too far bcos I dont want other coworkers to think anything, and I think shes the same way.

I am a reasonably attractive guy and have a good personality, I have no problem making her laugh. Anyway, I think she has a man but when ever we talk about things like what we did over the weekend she never mentions his name or says 'my boyfriend' she always refers to 'me and a friend (or friends)'. I find that very interesting that she refers to 'him' like that, that is if he is her boyfriend.

So, heres the deal, I have been aching to get her to come out with me and some friends so I can get to know her outside work and things can be more comfortable for both of us. I invited her out bowling and she was all for it, but on that day she had to cancel bcos she had to do something and wasnt able to go unless it was after 10pm, but she said that I should let her know the next time we go and she'll come. The beauty of this is that she is planning on becoming a cop and she will probably leave my company by the end of the year.

Although me and her get along, I am not sure if she may be interested, here is waht I have to go on:
1. When she walks by my cubical she looks at me 9/10 times or smiles at me 7/10.
2. We flirt with each other (lightly), she says stuff like 'you want a spanking' and she 'busts my chops' (joke with each other) alot.
3. I have caught her once or twice looking at my pelvic region (front and back)

Here are my question :
1. Does anyone know the best approach for me to find out if she is really interested, or just being friendly?
2. Should I invite her out again this week when we go bowling?
3. Is it true that older women would die to get younger guys in bed?

All your comments will be greatly appreciated, but remember that she wont be my 'coworker' much longer, so I am willing to 'risk' stuff if need be

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Why are you focused on one outcome? All the signs are there.

1. Does anyone know the best approach for me to find out if she is really interested, or just being friendly?

If you tease, joke and play around with her, why don't you ask her when is she getting married? Then you can go into the whole boyfriend pattern thing, in a funny way. Her response (what she says and how she says it) will tell you a lot about where she stands with her boyfriend.

2. Should I invite her out again this week when we go bowling?
Make it a low key thing. Instead of asking her out again, why don't you just tell her on monday, "hey what are you eating for lunch? Join me." Lead the way, but play it very low key. Again, if she is not willing to go out for a friendly, very low key, lunch get together, then you might have a better idea on how interested she is. It cuts through a lot of the BS. Yet, it doesn't create negative tension in the office, because a lot of co-workers go out for lunch often, don't they?

3. Is it true that older women would die to get younger guys in bed?

33 years old? Yes, she probably is interested. Seems at that age they would like somebody in their mid-late 20's, because they are younger but not immature like a lot of guys in their early 20's. But there is no TRUE WAY of knowing if she is interested unless you take the low key approach and invite her to lunch. If you wait a long time to find out if "would die go get a younger guy", her interest level will decrease.

 

[vdk]

Just remember to not think too much about the age difference. Once you do, you start to become unconfident and end up talking like a boy instead of a man.

I think you should lay an offer straight out like Doc Love would say. No lunch with friends, just 'you and I' DATE! This offer tells her if you she likes you rather than thinking the signals she is giving you mean something.

"All talk, no action"

 

[marqZAL]

Older women are great for sex, fun or freindship....but anything romantic youll only be settting yourself up for failure...I love an older chick every now and then too....

 

[ChevyLover]

A date with friends is majorly setting yourself up for the "lets just be friends" routine. Make it just you and her - that way she is much more likely to percieve it as a date.

I'd just ask her. So, do you have a boyfriend? Its not like saying "I like you, and if you don't have a boyfriend I'm going to try to bang you", but it sends the same message, and she will understand that you aren't interested in just being friends if you ask her up front whether she has a boyfriend or not.

She's interested. But heres a simple rule though: If in doubt, assume she is. Ask her on a date. She told you she wants to spank you buddy...its kind of obvious where her interest level is.

There is only one issue though - she is a co-worker. So if shiat goes fowl, your f*ed. You'd have to see her everyday, and it would probably be really wierd around her...but if it did go wrong, you could always just ljbf her and then it would all work out.

If it was me, I'd take the risk. I'd ask her if she had a boyfriend, if she said no, i'd tell her to come to lunch with me then. If she was worried about people in the office finding out, I'd just tell her with humour, - they don't gots to know about it... we're just friends remember - and give her a wink I'd definitely try to bang her though...she's into you, may as well take advantage of the situation and get with an older chick.

CL

 

[Walden]

Yeah , Chevy and Gangsta are right.
Don't arse around being subtle.
Ask her "What's your policy on dating workmates"
She'll get the clue and you'll know what to do from here.

 

[marqZAL]

I would'nt make too many moves...for the simple fact shes a "coworker" and sexual harassment can allways arise...put the ball in her court...this way you can cover your assss if you do end up in the wrong...sexual harrasment does happen in the work place...and complaints happen all the time..so keep yourself in check and your ass covered...

 

[dejital]

Yo Fellas, you all have given me good advice, thanks!
Alot to think about too.

As far as sexual harrasment, I dont think theres gonna be an issue, she has a good sense of humour, as far as I dont try and dry hump her in her cubicle or something

I have asked her out 4 lunch once b4. I was like "what do u normally do 4 lunch" and she was like "I have to go home and let out the puppy so that it can do it business outside tha house, and I eat there". Then I was like "I wanted a lunch parner", she said she felt bad that she couldnt go and had to go take care of the stupid pooch (its her parent's dog). So I think lunch may be not the best offer.
If I ask her if she has a man and she says yes, then wont I blow my chances of being her 'other guy'? I'm not trying to make her wifee.

 

[ChevyLover]

It's kind of a moral issue I guess. If it was me, I would definitely lay off if she had a husband. Boyfriend... well thats another story. It would be possible to alienate her from her boyfriend by talking about him and then siding with his faults as she *****es, but slowly go against him and undermine him. There is some good information on this at www.fastseduction.com - in the 101 player guide under "Trouble shooting" - "the boyfriend problem".

But asking if she has a boyfriend doesn't really matter - friends can ask that too. She will know that your interested, but it won't blow it for you necessarily. If she did have a bf it would just mean that you would have to work on her for a while longer before asking her on a date. If you played your cards right, theres a good chance she would cheat on him or dump him for you.

My two cents.

CL

 

[dejital]

UPDATE

Hi all,
well news flash, she walked into work this past monday and was like she quitting! She handed in her 2 weeks notice....so you know what that means, she wont be my 'coworker no more

I was like 'well I guess that means we'll never get to bowl' and she was like of course we will, I'll give you my number'. Nice. Well I fired off a few emails to her to see if she had AIM so we could chat online while at work, but she said she didn't even have a computer at home to mess with that stuff. So in conclusion I told her that in that case she definately got to give me the #, and she replied with a 3 word email : "I definately will!!"
(but I actually expected her to include it in the email....strange).

So what do u think guys?
I'm gonna shoot straight for the one one date thing, maybe lunch or a drink. But I still dunno if she got a man

 

[ChevyLover]

Say so are you going to give me your number or should I just forget about taking you out and showing you a good time? - with a smile so she doesn't think your insecure.

Or, tell her to come for a drink with you, if she says ok, TELL her respectfully to give you her number. "Sounds good. Give me your number so that I can finalize the plans later." - hand her a pen and paper.

The fact that she didn't give you her number in the reply I think is a bad sign. Maybe she was just in a hurry...hopefully...

CL

 

[dejital]

I dunno bcos, we have been chatting like every day now, she comes into my cubilce for like silly reasons and we just talk.
she be like "oh, that new report you sent us didnt run" and I will be like I'll do another one, and then we just start talking bout random crap till she has to go back to her desk.

And always, always, we maintain constant eye contact as we talk for atleast 80% of the time unless I have to look at my screen or make a quick glance elsewhere for effect.

The eye contact is quite cool, it only occurs to me after we stop talking that we were staring straight into each other eyes the whole time. Thats a good thing right? Its definately good practice.

You think I should wait till she offers the number again (brings it up) or should I ask yet-again? She leaves in about a week.