she wouldnt give me number, only email. no IL? she speaks barely any english

[big weezy]

i tried picking up this HB just now in a coffee shop but she's here studying english, it's so bad im talking to her like a child repeating myself. i duno how to run game when the HB barely speaks anything.

i went for the number and she looked at me a bit shaken... saying 'in italy this is not normal because a woman has to be careful but take my email instead.' (this isn't what she said exactly it's what it translated to)

i made suggestion we go for a drink next time or something else in the area, and she's like 'no it's ok no thanks' she didn't completely understand me.. i think she meant right now or something. it's tough trying to game when they dont understand you.

she says she wants to talk on email a bit then later give me her numnber. is this understandable? im just some guy stranger talking to her in a coffee shop cold approach.

im not sure if i should even bother emailing her, if she was attracted in those 15mins of talk then she'd give it. end of.

 

[ARrocket]

im not sure if i should even bother emailing her, if she was attracted in those 15mins of talk then she'd give it. end of.

In the time you took to write this post, you could have emailed her. You would then end up with a better answer of her interest level than anybody here can speculate on.

 

[big weezy]

i think im kidding myself. shes not interested, her body language and everything indicated such.

i think the real question is how do you game a girl who speaks barely any english?

like the effect of what i say dimiinishes when i use more simplified words only a child would understand. they dont understand the words and the repetition of the phrases loses it's effect.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Gut instincts: when you get that feeling in your stomach that a girl isn't interested in you, chances are it's the correct one.

Don't fall for the "in Italy we do things like this" crap. Bottom line: if a girl likes you, she's going to give you the info that makes it the easiest to communicate with her, i.e. the phone number. Anything else is just their polite, passive-aggressive way of blowing you off. I have yet to meet a girl who was genuinely interested in me that only wanted me to have her email - they WANT me to call, so they give me the number. Simple, simple stuff.

 

[sageproduct]

Gut instincts: when you get that feeling in your stomach that a girl isn't interested in you, chances are it's the correct one.

Don't fall for the "in Italy we do things like this" crap. Bottom line: if a girl likes you, she's going to give you the info that makes it the easiest to communicate with her, i.e. the phone number. Anything else is just their polite, passive-aggressive way of blowing you off. I have yet to meet a girl who was genuinely interested in me that only wanted me to have her email - they WANT me to call, so they give me the number. Simple, simple stuff.

I disagree. It's not always so clear cut and simple. Women may appear hesitant to interact with you for any number of reasons.

Actually, a MAJORITY of the women I cold approach in the daytime who end up going out with me did NOT show many textbook IOIs. In fact, most of them only appeared moderately interested at first, and MOST of the girls I approach who show heavy IOIs I never see again or hear from.

The first time I ever got a date from a cold approach, the girl seemed marginally interested. My approach wasn't smooth. Actually, it was pretty damn awkward, with lots of pauses, AND it was while she was working.

Another girl I cold approached seemed like she couldn't care less about me. She never smiled during the interaction, didn't contribute a whole lot to the conversation, AND when I said I wanted to take her out sometime, she replied, "I'll think about it." I ended up going out with her TWO DAYS later (despite her having to leave town in a week), and we were making out within an hour. This was a shy, conservative, Christian girl who was intentionally downplaying her interest out of nervousness. I later found out that after I approached her, she called her friend FREAKING OUT and told her how she felt like meeting me was a scene out of a romance movie.

Another girl acted like she was annoyed with me during the whole initial interaction and would hardly contribute at ALL to the conversation. I ask for her number, she refuses and tells me to add her on Facebook. Eventually, I convince her to give me her number, and I took her out a week later.

Finally, one other girl gave me her number and told me it was "so we could be friends." Instant LJBF eh? Not so fast. We ended up going out several times over the course of a couple months, and she remained very interested despite me rarely giving her attention. She ALWAYS paid for herself and paid for me once as well. It only ended because she wasn't down with my plate spinning.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I disagree. It's not always so clear cut and simple. Women may appear hesitant to interact with you for any number of reasons.

Actually, a MAJORITY of the women I cold approach in the daytime who end up going out with me did NOT show many textbook IOIs. In fact, most of them only appeared moderately interested at first, and MOST of the girls I approach who show heavy IOIs I never see again or hear from.

The first time I ever got a date from a cold approach, the girl seemed marginally interested. My approach wasn't smooth. Actually, it was pretty damn awkward, with lots of pauses, AND it was while she was working.

Another girl I cold approached seemed like she couldn't care less about me. She never smiled during the interaction, didn't contribute a whole lot to the conversation, AND when I said I wanted to take her out sometime, she replied, "I'll think about it." I ended up going out with her TWO DAYS later (despite her having to leave town in a week), and we were making out within an hour. This was a shy, conservative, Christian girl who was intentionally downplaying her interest out of nervousness. I later found out that after I approached her, she called her friend FREAKING OUT and told her how she felt like meeting me was a scene out of a romance movie.

Another girl acted like she was annoyed with me during the whole initial interaction and would hardly contribute at ALL to the conversation. I ask for her number, she refuses and tells me to add her on Facebook. Eventually, I convince her to give me her number, and I took her out a week later.

Finally, one other girl gave me her number and told me it was "so we could be friends." Instant LJBF eh? Not so fast. We ended up going out several times over the course of a couple months, and she remained very interested despite me rarely giving her attention. She ALWAYS paid for herself and paid for me once as well. It only ended because she wasn't down with my plate spinning.

This is all well and good, but... are you currently with any of these girls still, or did they become disinterested at some point?

To be fair, I don't do cold approaches. Ever. My methods are more targeted than going out and hollering at a bunch of different girls hoping one of them will go out with me. However, when I do approach its always with the mindframe of the long-term game - i.e. if they're interested, we'll be going out for a significant amount of time unless I decide to end it.

I say that to say: if a girl isn't showing me an above-average to high-level of interest, it's not worth my time perusing. Yes, I could try to stick with it and up her interest level, but I have found more long-term success dealing with girls who had a higher interest to start with. And, since I don't have the one-i-tis mentality of thinking that I just have to have a certain girl or else my life is over, I don't give a second thought about passing on chicks not showing high interest because I know there's another one around the corner who is.

 

[the_count]

Gut instincts: when you get that feeling in your stomach that a girl isn't interested in you, chances are it's the correct one.

Don't fall for the "in Italy we do things like this" crap. Bottom line: if a girl likes you, she's going to give you the info that makes it the easiest to communicate with her, i.e. the phone number. Anything else is just their polite, passive-aggressive way of blowing you off. I have yet to meet a girl who was genuinely interested in me that only wanted me to have her email - they WANT me to call, so they give me the number. Simple, simple stuff.

Her email just may be the best way to communicate with her since she barely speaks and comprehends spoken English, her skill with the written language could be at a higher level....but in any event....this is probably the most pragmatic answer:

In the time you took to write this post, you could have emailed her. You would then end up with a better answer of her interest level than anybody here can speculate on.

 

[sageproduct]

To be fair, I don't do cold approaches. Ever.

Mmmm. I don't do social circle game. Ever. This explains many of our differences.

Of the four girls I mentioned:

1. I am now good friends with her. Many logistical barriers means we hardly ever saw each other and don't really have the means to right now.
2. Would have been a solid relationship, except she had to move a week after we met.
3. I blew it by being needy.
4. She wanted out when she wasn't down with me spinning plates.

 

[big weezy]

yeah i think she has no interest, and i couldn't run game on her when she doesn't understand anything i say.

i have 2 options.. i can either a)not email her, and bank on bumping into her again after xmas (we live in the same area so chances are we might at the local starbucks). Given that she's hot, MOST guys would email her and she'd get validation from the fact i was interested. so by not emailing her and waiting to bump into her again, acting aloof she'll wonder why i didn't.. might even peak her curiosity, which at least puts me back onto a better ground but still chances are slim.

or b)just send an email now.

what would you suggest i send as an email? (bear in mind she speaks barely any english)

 

[Harry Wilmington]

LoL @ your strategy. If you just "happen" to bump into her again, at the same place you met her, you might come across as a stalker.

Personally, I think this thing's already dead in the water. With that said, if you care to send an email, type it out, then find an online translator website, paste in your text and translate it to Italian. (Make sure you put in there that you used a translator site, just in case it ends up not being a perfect translation). Make the message short - "Hey, we met at the coffee shop the other day and you gave me your email address. I would like to get to know you better and was hoping we could meet up sometime for (drinks/dinner/whatever). (Insert witty comment or joke, nothing sexual). If interested, send me a message or your phone number."

Something like that - simple, yet not over-barringly pushy or laying on thick compliments. If she responds, great, but don't bet on it.

 

[big weezy]

LoL @ your strategy. If you just "happen" to bump into her again, at the same place you met her, you might come across as a stalker.

Personally, I think this thing's already dead in the water. With that said, if you care to send an email, type it out, then find an online translator website, paste in your text and translate it to Italian. (Make sure you put in there that you used a translator site, just in case it ends up not being a perfect translation). Make the message short - "Hey, we met at the coffee shop the other day and you gave me your email address. I would like to get to know you better and was hoping we could meet up sometime for (drinks/dinner/whatever). (Insert witty comment or joke, nothing sexual). If interested, send me a message or your phone number."

Something like that - simple, yet not over-barringly pushy or laying on thick compliments. If she responds, great, but don't bet on it.

haha.. you'd be surprised.. i see the same people at the local starbucks every weekend.. everyone kind of knows everyone as it's pretty big community and i live near the main high street where everyone shops so it's not that coincidental.. if anything she'd be stalking me if she saw me again.. it's my local 1 not hers.

yeah i'll think it over, she speaks english, but barely.. i think she's prob going to use her italian translator for it. she told me she's going back to italy today to see her family for xmas.. tbh.. in this sort of situation.. unless there is strong physical attraction.. you can't really run game on non-english speakers.

i think i'll leave it and just say hi next time and not act interested, if she gives me her number without me asking then you know it may work.. but if i do send an email.. i'll do what you said. i'll think it over anyhow.

 

[Plutoman]

Gut instincts: when you get that feeling in your stomach that a girl isn't interested in you, chances are it's the correct one.

Don't fall for the "in Italy we do things like this" crap. Bottom line: if a girl likes you, she's going to give you the info that makes it the easiest to communicate with her, i.e. the phone number. Anything else is just their polite, passive-aggressive way of blowing you off. I have yet to meet a girl who was genuinely interested in me that only wanted me to have her email - they WANT me to call, so they give me the number. Simple, simple stuff.

This. I also don't like cold approaches - if I approach a girl in the day, it's typically a warm approach - there's been solid eye contact, body language, everything is saying there's definitive interest. I don't do many approaches, obviously, but the ones I do have a high success rate.

I do agree about bumping into people often - I chill at one of the local starbucks 3-4 times a week and I've grown to be great friends with the other regulars ('tis where I met my wing). I often see some people in there multiple times. It's just natural if you are there a lot. That said, don't rely on it, and I wouldn't bother trying a second time if you do run into her unless she makes the effort herself.

 

[nismo-4]

Just understand that this girl is just not that into you. OP, don't delude yourself. She doesn't find you attractive. If she were into you, you would've gotten her number and she would've agreed to that date. Didn't happen here. What does that tell you?

That's right. Actions speak louder than words. And this made Judge nismo's verdict a very simple one. She has no interest. She doesn't want anything else to do with you. Thus, you received an let-down-easy rejection.

Case closed.

 

[BadNews]

I've always believed a good rule of thumb is to assume they're interested until absolutely proven otherwise. You probably reeked of insecurity wondering "omg, does she like me, her body language is doing this, shes talking to me like that, shes doing this blah blah blah."

FORGET ABOUT IT! OF COURSE SHE IS INTERESTED! NOW GRAB THE DAMN BULL BY THE HORNS AND TAKE CHARGE OF THE FVCKING SITUATION!