She won't let me touch her!

[Apprentice DJ]

Hello Fellow DJers,

i need some help here:

I've been friends with this girl for a while and i've always had the hots for her but we never hit things off cus ive never had the time to flirt with her.... cus i do alota stuff at school and work part-time and so on.
Also, because of the fact that we've known each other for almost a year now and I havent showed any signs of interest before, she considers me only a friend, a brother or whatever their female language means, im just not in the date material section of her brain.

but since the end of semester is coming, im having more free time and we seem to be seeing and talking to each other every day now. (Great stuff!)
she's in some of my classes (University) and she seems to love being around me, going out with me, calling me to chat, etc etc.

Now, what i'm trying to do here is get out of the friends zone, aka seeing and flirting with other girls, doing other stuff with my time, etc. basically showing her that i can live w/o her.
and every time im with her, i try to use techniques that are used on this website: eye contact, compliments, mixed signals, and....kino

but the problem with kino here is because she doesnt have alot of experience with her previous BFs (thank god!) every time I go further than the light hand touch, and try to....let's say give a massage or hold her in a more DJ manner, she finds it weird cus im not her bf.

im putting an emphasis on this massage thing cus we were going out the other day and she told me that her back ached, i volunteered to massage it and she said that its freaky weird that i wanted to do this cus im not her bf and that things like this should only occur between ppl in relationships.

Reading posts on this website for almost 5 years now, i know that KINO is VITAL for getting away from the friendship zone... what should i do or say to make this girl more comfortable about these things?

Apprentice DJ

 

[Badmannaz]

only way to get out of the friend zone is expressing your feelings...confronting her..if she say's she doesn't like you like that you just gotta next her....the whole art of Dj'ng is supressing feelings so yu don't get ONS end up on the curb like an AFC...if she's not feeling you then move on to a girl who isn't so immature about somebody touching her

 

[Soprano]

make fun of her for thinking massages are for serious relationships, and tell her she mustve been raised on amish farm

ur complimenting her, offering to massage her..... i think that could b ur problem

 

[Wyldfire]

If you want to "get out of the friends zone" then flirting with and going out with other girls (like you've probably been doing anyhow) is NOT going to work. Guys get stuck in the friends zone because they act asexual towards the girl. Flirting with and going out with other girls isn't going to make her jealous because, as you pointed out, she doesn't look at you romantically. If you want more then that is what you need to change...how she views her relationship with you...not how she views you with other women.

 

[Apprentice DJ]

Thanks for the reply guys,

the thing is:
1) Badmannaz: im not gonna tell her my feelings straight cus that's gonna kill my chances with her
2) Soprano: im not offering to give her a massage or showering her with massages... im just casually giving her a compliment from time to time to tell her that i think she's not (but not too much). and the reason why we were talking and i offered to give her a massage was because we were talking about sex and she just complained that her ex's gave bad massages...
although i appreciate the making fun advice... im already working on that. you're right she is very 'conservative'.
3) Wyldfire: im not trying to go out with other girls to get her jealous, just show her that: one, yes i can get girls; and two, take my mind off of her otherwise id be like an AFC. although i Understand what you're trying to say Wyldfire. maybe i should just concentrate on her you mean.... but wouldnt that make me all obsessive about her?

 

[Apprentice DJ]

btw i meant showering her with compliments....not massages..

 

[sexy_kuta]

tell her staight up..

while u do it

wipe ur c0ck out!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

R u kidding me kid...

somebody get this 'dude' off the discussion panel

 

[DonJuanForever]

Actually DJ, I would learn from this situation, and go out and become OPEN AGAIN...I mean, Its sounds like you have a serious case of oneitis going on. Learn why you got ljbf'ed and open your territory up and go after mulitiple girls.

 

[sexy_kuta]

R u kidding me kid...

somebody get this 'dude' off the discussion panel

haha its called a joke..

lighten up dude

 

[Apprentice DJ]

Thanks for the advice DJForever but i havent struck out .... I havent even gone to bat yet.
im just trying to get a feel of what's the best way to introduce Kino into our 'friendship'

 

[Faded Image]

Stop being her teddy bear who she can spill all of her emotions onto knowing you'll listen.

Have fun, flirt, wrestle (it works) with her but avoid listening to all of her problems and try saying no to her sometimes when she asks you for favors.

Write a letter to her telling her how you feel but don't give it to her. This will help you avoid telling her how you actually feel.

If all else fell, find somebody else cause 9 times out of 10 you'll never be with her romatically so don't waste your time. To be honest with you, trying to get out of the frindzone is like trying to get out of a rape case caught on tape.

B

 

[crossboss]

I usually look for signals.

Work your way up. She smiles, go for some kino. However, don't advance farther than 1 or 2 touches unless she gives you signs. Such as playing with hair, and smiling. Then you can on to ass grabs, massage and such. If you are just touching her a lot and no positive feedback. Then it is hard to tell whether she enjoys it.

This has been a strategy has worked for me. Sometimes when you touch a girl it suddenly gives her the urge to touch you!

 

[jordan]

Let her see you with another women. Women are naturally jeoulous. You might be to deep into the friendship zone to get with her. You might have to just keep her as a friend and move on.

 

[Bobbles]

Just go and get drunk together. When you are drunk go for the kiss. If she kisses you back, great, if she doesn't then just blame it on the alcohol.

Hopefully that way you don't lose the friendship if she knocks you back. It also means you don't have express you feelings which will almost certainly get you rejected.

 

[Marlimus]

only way to get out of the friend zone is expressing your feelings...confronting her

Just go and get drunk together. When you are drunk go for the kiss. If she kisses you back, great, if she doesn't then just blame it on the alcohol.

Terrible advice. Listen,

THE GIRL DOES NOT LIKE YOU. END OF STORY. You've been friends with her for over a year and never showed interest and suddenly want to claw your way out of the friend zone? Pathetic. Move on.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

I am with Marlimus and Wyldfire on this one. Do a search for "Escaping the Friendszone" by Mr. Fingz/Senor Fingers. The man has a really good post on it...

 

[Wyldfire]

Let her see you with another women. Women are naturally jeoulous. You might be to deep into the friendship zone to get with her. You might have to just keep her as a friend and move on.

As a woman who have had male friends who secretly liked me and not spoken up on plenty of occassions...

I never even noticed those guys with other girls. If they ever did get girlfriends I was happy for them and certainly never got jealous...because I only saw them as friends.

He should be dating other girls FOR HIMSELF, not to make the female friend jealous...because that won't make her jealous.

 

[Apprentice DJ]

All of this info is great,

thanks to everyone for replying, however, i think it is important to note i've used alot of kino on her and she doesnt seem to mind and seems to like it. ive given her small back rubs and grabbed her ass once. hehe it was funny because she was shocked that i did it cus it was very unexpected coming from me....

it is also important to note that she didnt seem to run away from it either... she didnt get mad. i think she somewhat liked it.

you guys still think i have no chance? mind you that i do realize that my chances with her are slim and i am keeping myself backups. its just that this girl is my plan A and my plans B and C are very distant in my rating scheme...

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Thanks for the advice DJForever but i havent struck out .... I havent even gone to bat yet.
im just trying to get a feel of what's the best way to introduce Kino into our 'friendship'

I have been in this situation and only now am i moveing on. Let me tell you that this is not baseball, and that you can get struck out before you bat!