Dating a girl right now and weighing what to do with her.
We've been dating for awhile now and on paper she has a lot to offer. She's educated with a nice job, has her own place that she's fixed up pretty good and has read literature and traveled a few places in the world, so she's interesting to talk to. She's not the prettiest girl facially that I've ever dated, but from the neck down she is hottt. She likes wearing just slightly provocative clothing, and two weekends ago we went out and she had on a tight mini-dress with nothing on under it. The moment she gets into either her or my house, she likes to take her clothes off because she says it's more comfortable. She 'shaves' and loves to kiss and go down on me.
Dang, sounds pretty good, huh?
But I like getting my women off and my motto is "The customer always comes first".
In fact, I prefer that my women hit the big "O" first through primarily my finger and oral actions or at least be on that verge before going in. In the past they've been super grateful and extremely willing to find a guy like me who genuinely likes 'going down' and staying there for as long as it takes. Then when she comes I feel like I can be a bit 'selfish' and get in there (no pun intended) and have my own fun. The reason I like it in this sequence is that as we know when a guy splooges, it's over for awhile, and sometimes that little intermission can mean the end, especially if there was a kind of rhythm going.
Anyways, this girl is a hot kisser. She is great in that department. But when I get to her boobs, sometimes her nipples will get hard, but then they'll go soft again and sometimes she'll stop me from sucking on them. I have never encountered a woman who would stop me. But the worst part is, okay, she likes to be naked, she shaves, and she'll claims she likes me to go down on her, which I'm happy to do because she's got a great body. But she'll eventually stop me there too!
She says she's been hurt in the past, and that it's almost impossible for her to come unless she's alone and fingering herself. But she says she loves being with me, and doing the act. But I can sometimes tell she's faking, which to me is a huge turnoff since I feel like faking is being dishonest. In other words, a lie.
I've called her on it, and she's admitted that in the past she's been so sure she can't/won't come that she simply fakes things to make the guy feel that he's a good lover. The thing is, I can tell when a girl is faking and it's a turnoff.
So I told her no more faking. Which means that I briefly go down on her until she stops me, then I do my thing while she moans and I finish, and to me it is hugely unfulfilling.
She says she would love to be able to relax, and in the past has gone to see counselors and has also shown me some of the books she's read on female sexuality and problems, but apparently nothing works. I hate to say it but she's a gorgeous, sexy and willing woman, but she's currently lousy in bed. At least I find it unfulfilling.
Anyone ever encounter anything similar to this, and what did you do or she do, to get her to relax, let go and get her mind with it?
I must add this one thing: Awhile back, she made the slightest little hint that she was a bit adventurous and sometime later mentioned a previous lover as being 'different'. But she also talked about how he betrayed her and hurt her. I pressed her to discuss this and she refused to, but said he was 'kinky' and that she occasionally got into it with him. But she would say no more. So I'm guessing based on this shred of evidence, but she might have been to the farther reaches of sex than I have. I feel that she's embarrassed about what she did with this guy, but based on her reactions, I also am starting to think it was a guilty pleasure in that she was appalled but she also got off and now all regular sex is boring. Again, this is mostly intuitive.
We were in the grocery store this weekend and as we passed the peaches, we saw on in particular that looked just like a shaved vag*na. When I got home the other night, she had left a smililarly formed peach on my front doorstep. She constantly talking about sex and seems to be pre-occupied with it, but it seems to be like a man in the desert who dreams about water. She dreams of sex because she wants it to be pleasant for her but it's not.
What to do?
We've been dating for awhile now and on paper she has a lot to offer. She's educated with a nice job, has her own place that she's fixed up pretty good and has read literature and traveled a few places in the world, so she's interesting to talk to. She's not the prettiest girl facially that I've ever dated, but from the neck down she is hottt. She likes wearing just slightly provocative clothing, and two weekends ago we went out and she had on a tight mini-dress with nothing on under it. The moment she gets into either her or my house, she likes to take her clothes off because she says it's more comfortable. She 'shaves' and loves to kiss and go down on me.
Dang, sounds pretty good, huh?
But I like getting my women off and my motto is "The customer always comes first".
In fact, I prefer that my women hit the big "O" first through primarily my finger and oral actions or at least be on that verge before going in. In the past they've been super grateful and extremely willing to find a guy like me who genuinely likes 'going down' and staying there for as long as it takes. Then when she comes I feel like I can be a bit 'selfish' and get in there (no pun intended) and have my own fun. The reason I like it in this sequence is that as we know when a guy splooges, it's over for awhile, and sometimes that little intermission can mean the end, especially if there was a kind of rhythm going.Anyways, this girl is a hot kisser. She is great in that department. But when I get to her boobs, sometimes her nipples will get hard, but then they'll go soft again and sometimes she'll stop me from sucking on them. I have never encountered a woman who would stop me. But the worst part is, okay, she likes to be naked, she shaves, and she'll claims she likes me to go down on her, which I'm happy to do because she's got a great body. But she'll eventually stop me there too!
She says she's been hurt in the past, and that it's almost impossible for her to come unless she's alone and fingering herself. But she says she loves being with me, and doing the act. But I can sometimes tell she's faking, which to me is a huge turnoff since I feel like faking is being dishonest. In other words, a lie.
I've called her on it, and she's admitted that in the past she's been so sure she can't/won't come that she simply fakes things to make the guy feel that he's a good lover. The thing is, I can tell when a girl is faking and it's a turnoff.
So I told her no more faking. Which means that I briefly go down on her until she stops me, then I do my thing while she moans and I finish, and to me it is hugely unfulfilling.
She says she would love to be able to relax, and in the past has gone to see counselors and has also shown me some of the books she's read on female sexuality and problems, but apparently nothing works. I hate to say it but she's a gorgeous, sexy and willing woman, but she's currently lousy in bed. At least I find it unfulfilling.
Anyone ever encounter anything similar to this, and what did you do or she do, to get her to relax, let go and get her mind with it?
I must add this one thing: Awhile back, she made the slightest little hint that she was a bit adventurous and sometime later mentioned a previous lover as being 'different'. But she also talked about how he betrayed her and hurt her. I pressed her to discuss this and she refused to, but said he was 'kinky' and that she occasionally got into it with him. But she would say no more. So I'm guessing based on this shred of evidence, but she might have been to the farther reaches of sex than I have. I feel that she's embarrassed about what she did with this guy, but based on her reactions, I also am starting to think it was a guilty pleasure in that she was appalled but she also got off and now all regular sex is boring. Again, this is mostly intuitive.
We were in the grocery store this weekend and as we passed the peaches, we saw on in particular that looked just like a shaved vag*na. When I got home the other night, she had left a smililarly formed peach on my front doorstep. She constantly talking about sex and seems to be pre-occupied with it, but it seems to be like a man in the desert who dreams about water. She dreams of sex because she wants it to be pleasant for her but it's not.
What to do?
