She WILL cheat on you...but its okay

[BaronOfHair]

"But true masculinity is being resilient and able to cope with anything..."

Be the real life version of what's described between 14:50-15:00

 

[DJ Novice]

My ex who was in a relationship asked me over last week to drop off one of her books.
After an hour of sexual tension she led me upstairs and I f’d her brains out. Stayed the night and left the next day.

Asked her later if she felt bad given she was in a relationship. She said ‘no, I felt I was exactly where I wanted to be’. Now she wants to have a ‘talk’. Think I may have alpha widowed her to a certain extent.

I noticed one of the girls I am currently dating who wants to ‘be friends first before having s*x’ was coincidentally active on the same dating site I met her on last night. And she wasn’t checking my profile out either (did a quick check).

A small sample size admittedly but it signifies at least to me that women generally always have a backup option(s) and will act on their emotions with these whether this is lust, loneliness, a need for validation external to their existing relationship etc. If that includes cheating on their existing partner then they will do it without hesitation and rationalise it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

A small sample size admittedly but it signifies at least to me that women generally always have a backup option(s) and will act on their emotions with these whether this is lust, loneliness, a need for validation external to their existing relationship etc. If that includes cheating on their existing partner then they will do it without hesitation and rationalise it.

I appreciate your hypothesis but this is far from being a fact. One woman cheated and you helped her do it.

The other woman whom is not even sleeping with you has a social profile and is still looking.

Instead of pointing outward, is it possible the common denominator is something on your end?

 

[Pandora]

My ex who was in a relationship asked me over last week to drop off one of her books.
After an hour of sexual tension she led me upstairs and I f’d her brains out. Stayed the night and left the next day.

Asked her later if she felt bad given she was in a relationship. She said ‘no, I felt I was exactly where I wanted to be’. Now she wants to have a ‘talk’. Think I may have alpha widowed her to a certain extent.

I noticed one of the girls I am currently dating who wants to ‘be friends first before having s*x’ was coincidentally active on the same dating site I met her on last night. And she wasn’t checking my profile out either (did a quick check).

A small sample size admittedly but it signifies at least to me that women generally always have a backup option(s) and will act on their emotions with these whether this is lust, loneliness, a need for validation external to their existing relationship etc. If that includes cheating on their existing partner then they will do it without hesitation and rationalise it.

You potentially alpha widowed your ex. If that is the case she will cheat on every man with you. She will justify it because to her you are the " special one" that she is supposed to be with.

The other girl has already been alpha widowed. This is why she is still shopping for other men online. No matter who she gets it will virtually never be enough. Some guy has to beat the high score of her alpha widow ( shout out to Desvidona for that high score term). This is very difficult to do.

 

[Pandora]

Its really not worth being with a woman unless you are her high score. You will know it too. It will be obvious.

Most of this rampant cheating comes from women not being with the man that broke her brain.

Biblically and spiritually you are supposed to marry the girl if you " broke her brain". You break you buy! It messes up society throwing them back into the dating pool.

I sincerly regret doing that but I was younger and less wise.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Women cheat on us, we cheat on them.... Like car accidents, minor and diasterous, this s-it happens, and probably always will. The fact that humans aren't biologically hardwired to be with the same mate for decades on end makes the prospects of such things occurring extremely high

 

[Pandora]

Women cheat on us, we cheat on them.... Like car accidents, minor and diasterous, this s-it happens, and probably always will. The fact that humans aren't biologically hardwired to be with the same mate for decades on end makes the prospects of such things occurring extremely high

Yup. I agree. Men get mad at us for saying this but its the truth. It sucks. You can minimize it by picking a woman who thinks you are her soulmate. You can also minimize it by picking a woman with father instilled values but it is still a risk.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Let them. That's my credo for everyone who's not me.

Then I do me.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Women cheat on us, we cheat on them.... Like car accidents, minor and diasterous, this s-it happens, and probably always will. The fact that humans aren't biologically hardwired to be with the same mate for decades on end makes the prospects of such things occurring extremely high

The title of this thread says it’s alright for women to cheat on us. My pushback is that some people disagree, including myself. Anyone can overcome such hardwiring in the same way he can put the fork down after he’s full of food or if he wants to lose weight. When I competed in a bodybuilding show I dealt with extreme and constant hunger during the last two months of prep. I wanted to eat more, but I didn’t. I also did not want to wake up to do cardio, but I did.

My wife and I have an understanding. We have an extremely dim view on divorce. But it either one of us cheats or abuses the other, we are done! The thought of cheating doesn’t occur to me. I can also smell cheating.

I’ve seen this notion of lack of agency in other threads too. Supposedly porn cannot be quit and anyone who has the ability to cheat will do so, and shouldn’t be dealt with. By that logic we shouldn’t tell people to go to the gym or make more money because both activities are often done against our desire to loaf around.

Imagine in the past adulterous wives were considered rock bottom in society, and in some cases publicly beaten or excommunicated, and men became so degenerated that they put up with their own humiliation by women? There were also times in which it was permissible for husbands to harm male home wreckers or undesirable men pursuing their daughters. Freaking lulz.

If a man wants to tolerate a woman who cheated, he might stop further cheating by confronting the man with whom she cheated without violence.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The title of this thread says it’s alright for women to cheat on us. My pushback is that some people disagree, including myself. Anyone can overcome such hardwiring in the same way he can put the fork down after he’s full of food or wants to lose weight. When I competed in a bodybuilding show I dealt with extreme and constant hunger during the last two months of prep. I wanted to eat more, but I didn’t. I also did not want to wake up to do cardio, but I did.

My wife and I have an understanding. We have an extremely dim view on divorce. But it either one of us cheats or abuses the other, it is done! The thought of cheating doesn’t occur to me. I can also smell cheating.

Imagine in the past adulterous wives were considered rock bottom, and in some cases publicly beaten or excommunicated, and men became so degenerated that they put up with their own humiliation by women? Lulz galore.

I'm not saying that infidelity is desirable or praiseworthy. Given that this is real life, and not a rom-com or Disney movie though, it does happen

 

[jhonny9546]

100% false. Female cheating is not inevitable. If your woman steps out, you fvcked up in the relationship. It is lowered interest level mixed with insufficient boundaries and poor screening.

It's a job. It's like telling your kids to wear shoes every time they go out of the house or to clean their feet every time they come back in.
It's a job, guys. As OP said, you can either be indifferent or a controlling person. "Water takes the shape of the container it fills," and if you are the second type of person, you would give meaning to that.
I believe I fall into the second group because if I know that a relationship will last from 5 to 10 years, or if I'm lucky, 20 years, I will do my best to keep this woman loyal to me. Then she can do anything she wants.
However, I also understand that some people enjoy seeing their partner with another man.

Women cheat when the emotional connection is lost.

My cousin got divorced after 10 years with his woman, and 2 kids.
They had all, trips, restaurants, events, cars, anything you can imagine a modern couple want to have on the "edonistic" side of life.
He's not a beta, and He always tried to keep the emotional connection, but she was really cold, somehow.
What your saying it's right but is very nuanced.
What do you mean by keeping "emotional connection"?
How would you keep that without entering the "beta" circle or make "mistakes"?

Totally agree. If there is no commitment, she is much less likely to become complacent and feel like she "has" the man, which is what triggers her hypergamous doubt about whether she is with the highest SMV man she can get. When that doubt is triggered, she reengages with all the modern options available to her, conveniently on her phone, to prospect for new men, or reach out to men previously in her life, typically under the auspices of "friendship" or "just getting to know people". But in reality she's prospecting for a higher SMV man.

It's clear that a woman can enter a LTR, have kids, and still choose not to marry. She may be in an "idle" state with her current boyfriend while mentally categorizing other men she has met and adjusting her "tier list." Eventually, she might end her first LTR after realizing she can pursue the man she truly desires.

From personal experience, after focusing on my own fitness and life, I've noticed that old female friends who once categorized me low now see me in a higher tier, even if they are engaged or have kids. I've observed that not only do real-life indicators (ioi's) reveal this shift, but they also engage more with me on social media. This highlights why a woman addicted to social media can be a redflag. While it's a part of modern life, women seeking validation online often reinforce their "hypergamous" nature, continually categorizing men they encounter as someone they want to ****.
As someone once said, we are merely passing through a woman life.
Keep her until you can. We must focus on our life, and see women like someone that can come to add something to our life. But we must have our solid base of core values

There was a study that showed the majority of women have back up plans

For sure, they also have their C and D plan nowadays

Can two people really respect each other enough too not want anyone else for a sustained period of time ?

It's also true that things will come when you don't look out for them

 

[inquisitor]

I have known men in marriages who were in elite physical shape and their wives still cheated on them. In those cases, it was the passage of time that was the primary factor, though these were situations where the women also had children.

I'd question blaming the passage of time, an innocuous description of a deeper problem.

If a wife left her husband even if the dude is well-built, then it is not the sole factor for her leaving him. It's not the main factor, either.

The word is neglect: as a husband, neglecting your wife leads to her neglecting you. Always the maxim he leads, she follows governs. This is also not the special snowflake kind of neglect that little girls cry about. No, this is something deeper and rooted in responsibility with people around you and the future you want to achieve.

If you don't show up every day, showing how you want to maintain and improve your relationship and your own life, the likelihood of her leaving increases just a little bit more each day.

Children add a necessary additional challenge in a relationship, pushing both parents to be their best selves (or so they think) for their family.

Passage of time is vague and unsolvable. She left because she felt neglected.

 

[jhonny9546]

She left because she felt neglected.

This is a very good point, but "he leads, she follows" is not what it sounds like. Many women who have jobs and take care of the house and kids (in a long-term relationship scenario) want to have a strong voice sometimes. Should a man consider that a "loss of respect"?

How could a man make her feel neglected?
Take a man who own his sxhit in life. He's also a leader.
But somehow, she feel neglected.

 

[inquisitor]

This is a very good point, but "he leads, she follows" is not what it sounds like. Many women who have jobs and take care of the house and kids (in a long-term relationship scenario) want to have a strong voice sometimes. Should a man consider that a "loss of respect"?

How could a man make her feel neglected?
Take a man who own his sxhit in life. He's also a leader.
But somehow, she feel neglected.

It is always he leads, she follows. The dynamic of the relationship is ultimately up to the man. Now, some may argue that the dynamic is up to both people, and you are right, but it's not 50-50. To address your first question, of course that's not a loss of respect, because the man has established (with the help of her woman, at least) that she can have her strong voice sometimes. He is giving her the freedom, and she must watch herself because the man is there. You are there. You have allowed her, only sometimes.

Anyone can make anything or anyone else feel neglected - in fact, it's easier.
A man who knows his sh!t and is a leader may not be applying what he knows in every aspect of his life, especially with her wife. At that point, would you still believe that he "knows his sh!t" and that he's a "leader"? I wouldn't - not completely, anyway.

I'd agree that he is a leader in some aspects, and knows his way through most sh!t, but if he's not able to apply that with his wife, then he's not a leader in that aspect. He doesn't know his way through that sh!t.

...and only then, through this realization, that he will really be able to do something about them, and their relationship.

 

[Manure Spherian]

100% false. Female cheating is not inevitable. If your woman steps out, you fvcked up in the relationship. It is lowered interest level mixed with insufficient boundaries and poor screening.

Blame the man?