She wants to text while she's away

[RickTheToad]

Another lady, 28 year old, wants to meet up, but is going to the Hamptons with some friends for a birthday celeb until next Sunday. I said, cool, we'll meet up once you get back. She said, but can't we still text? I want to get to know you a bit. I said sure, and I'd reach out in a little while.

She said she's also straight edge. Which, I never heard of. I looked it up and they do not drink, smoke or do drugs. Works for me. However, what do I do about this texting thing until she comes back to the area? She lives in a ritzy part of CT, Westport, so a bit different than what I am usually used to. I've done this texting while away before a few years ago, but there was nothing to talk about when we finally met and then everything fizzled out. Ideas?

 

[marmel75]

Play the question game...each day you both get one question to ask the other person...could be about anything..start tame and ramp up the risque factor towards the end...good transition question is to ask how she prefers sleeping...pajamas, underwear, lingerie or naked.

Your chance of a flake will be literally zero using this method if you do it right.

You really need to work on your conversational skills in person if sending a few texts back and forth over a week or so gives you nothing to talk about when you meet in person. You have never met this person before and barely know them...should be an endless number of things you could talk about.

 

[flowtheory]

Another lady, 28 year old, wants to meet up, but is going to the Hamptons with some friends for a birthday celeb until next Sunday. I said, cool, we'll meet up once you get back. She said, but can't we still text? I want to get to know you a bit. I said sure, and I'd reach out in a little while.

She said she's also straight edge. Which, I never heard of. I looked it up and they do not drink, smoke or do drugs. Works for me. However, what do I do about this texting thing until she comes back to the area? She lives in a ritzy part of CT, Westport, so a bit different than what I am usually used to. I've done this texting while away before a few years ago, but there was nothing to talk about when we finally met and then everything fizzled out. Ideas?

You can still text and maintain contact without asking every question in the book. Plus, if you run out of things to talk about; shows you need to learn about more things to talk about.

 

[lizardking82]

Text back and do so when you can. Don't text back cause you need to, text back cause you want to and feel like it.

 

[RickTheToad]

Play the question game...each day you both get one question to ask the other person...could be about anything..start tame and ramp up the risque factor towards the end...good transition question is to ask how she prefers sleeping...pajamas, underwear, lingerie or naked.

Your chance of a flake will be literally zero using this method if you do it right.

You really need to work on your conversational skills in person if sending a few texts back and forth over a week or so gives you nothing to talk about when you meet in person. You have never met this person before and barely know them...should be an endless number of things you could talk about.

Never said I was perfect. I consider each experience in life a lesson. Open to ideas and suggestions on texting things. I will admit, I am not a good texter.

You can still text and maintain contact without asking every question in the book. Plus, if you run out of things to talk about; shows you need to learn about more things to talk about.

Open to suggestions and ideas.

Text back and do so when you can. Don't text back cause you need to, text back cause you want to and feel like it.

No doubt. However, I find it hard to build repour, suspense and mystery through texting.

 

[marmel75]

Never said I was perfect. I consider each experience in life a lesson. Open to ideas and suggestions on texting things. I will admit, I am not a good texter.



Open to suggestions and ideas.



No doubt. However, I find it hard to build repour, suspense and mystery through texting.

Not about being perfect its about being good enough and right now you aren't good enough. Nothing to be ashamed of, just something you need work on. You recognize it which is the most important thing.

This is hamstinging you in person on dates whether you realize it or not. I would literally start talking to people on a day to day basis all the time to get practice and understand how to converse with random people better. Just strike up conversations with people as you go about your day for the next month. You will be amazed at how much better at thinking on your feet you are.

 

[RickTheToad]

Not about being perfect its about being good enough and right now you aren't good enough. Nothing to be ashamed of, just something you need work on. You recognize it which is the most important thing.

This is hamstinging you in person on dates whether you realize it or not. I would literally start talking to people on a day to day basis all the time to get practice and understand how to converse with random people better. Just strike up conversations with people as you go about your day for the next month. You will be amazed at how much better at thinking on your feet you are.

I do this daily. As I said in another thread, I train animals locally and do Q & A with the public multiple times a day. I have zero problems talking to people.

 

[sazc]

One time I had an OLD date tell me "I like to meet them fairly quickly and, before we meet, I like to keep the texting to a minimum otherwise each person tends to build the other person upintheir minds, into something they are not, and then get let down when they do meet". He was correct.

Try not to text her too much while she is away.

 

[marmel75]

One time I had an OLD date tell me "I like to meet them fairly quickly and, before we meet, I like to keep the texting to a minimum otherwise each person tends to build the other person upintheir minds, into something they are not, and then get let down when they do meet". He was correct.

Try not to text her too much while she is away.

I haven't found this to be true...of the ones i2
I've done this with, all were all about me when we met.

 

[marmel75]

I do this daily. As I said in another thread, I train animals locally and do Q & A with the public multiple times a day. I have zero problems talking to people.

Talking to the public about animals is not the same as striking up random conversations with someone...you are doing yoir job talking about animals not about daily activities. There is a big difference.

 

[sazc]

I haven't found this to be true...of the ones i2
I've done this with, all were all about me when we met.

Of the ones that you texted and ended up being in to you, how did they tend to play out?

 

[marmel75]

Of the ones that you texted and ended up being in to you, how did they tend to play out?

I did this 5 times I think. 2 were first night bangs, and became FWB's for a few months each, 2 I wasnt all that interested in and never texted them back although they made it clear they wanted to see me again and the last one turned out to be a GF for about a year or so..banged her on the 3rd date.

I'd say the guy doing this lacked texting ability. Texting is a weird double edged sword. If you do it poorly you can evaporate interest quickly and if you do it well you can raise interest. I was bad at texting for a long time and eventually figured things out through trial and error. However, simply maintaining small amounts of contact leading up to dates has always worked far far better dor me than setting a date and then ghosting up to that point. Flake rate might be like 5% keeping in minor contact versus like 30-40% ghosting up to the day of the date...

 

[sazc]

I did this 5 times I think. 2 were first night bangs, and became FWB's for a few months each, 2 I wasnt all that interested in and never texted them back although they made it clear they wanted to see me again and the last one turned out to be a GF for about a year or so..banged her on the 3rd date.

I'd say the guy doing this lacked texting ability. Texting is a weird double edged sword. If you do it poorly you can evaporate interest quickly and if you do it well you can raise interest. I was bad at texting for a long time and eventually figured things out through trial and error. However, simply maintaining small amounts of contact leading up to dates has always worked far far better dor me than setting a date and then ghosting up to that point. Flake rate might be like 5% keeping in minor contact versus like 30-40% ghosting up to the day of the date...

Small amounts of texting, yes, okay. I had one guy recently text me frequently the entire time I was on vacation in Lake Tahoe. It was 8 days off casual conversation that seemed a little needy and got annoying

 

[Macaframalama]

One time I had an OLD date tell me "I like to meet them fairly quickly and, before we meet, I like to keep the texting to a minimum otherwise each person tends to build the other person upintheir minds, into something they are not, and then get let down when they do meet". He was correct.

Try not to text her too much while she is away.

I experienced this, when I first started old. Not only do you get the let downs, but it throws pleasant surprises and women exceeding yours expectations right out the window too. I still message as often as I feel like it, I just kill any expectations I have of her dead in the water and say to myself "we will see how it plays out". On the other hand, men using expectation to set the tone of an irl meet and greet is GOLD! I can't overemphasize how powerful of a tool expectation building is in building comfort, especially if a guy is prone to fumbling over his words and actions. If the seeds of humor, good times and a non-judgmental, easy going guy are planted through banter, it makes for a much more seamless transition to the date and you get the opportunity to meet a women with her guard down, more often, than not. Boundary busted and one step ahead of the game.

 

[The Diver]

Open to ideas and suggestions on texting things

My two cents, that work for me .

I'm using a simple conversation technique that I call "follow the breadcrumbs". it can work for texting, but work better face to face, b'cos you can add your body language, facial expression, smile, eye contact, voice tone and pitch,,,

The principle is very simple: You initiate the convo (texting, or face to face), by asking few short random questions, and from thereon you follow her answers, by asking the next question related to her previous answer, hence "follow the breadcrumbs" . You can brunch to any direction with your next questions, by simply emphasise your next question on something that interesting you in her answers, or just ask a question on a deferent new subject, and repeat the above.

For that technics to work, you genuinely need to pay attention and show a genuine interest in what she saying.

Obviously, you try not to sound like you're investigation her, by insert some laughter, a smile, Mmm, nod your head, and as such. Those expressions will encourage her to keep talking and will tell her that you're still " with her". (if texting, add some" lol, hahah, Mmmm,," you got the idea. It's a bit lame but it's working)

You literally can talk like that for hours, b'cos girls love talking about themselves.

(Although you hardly did any talk, later on, she will tell you something like " it's such a fun chatting with you")

Some will say text minimum, some will say txt as much as you want. It really depends on the connection and the chemistry you have built with the girl.

 

[R.U.G.]

Ever hear if stick and move? It's an old boxing term which can be applied to the dating game. Give her a little, then pull away by saying you are at work or with friends or whatever. Then come back, pull away, back and forth. You'll also be playing with her emotions, so that can work in your favor as since you are not constantly hanging by your phone, it builds mystery; as well as anxiety for her.

 

[RickTheToad]

Going to try. She messaged me in the app, but I was working. I then texted her. She asked me how my day was, I replied that I was training some animals. She said cool and asked for pics for some reason. I said didn't have any, but you can check our social media. There are a few of me there. I asked how her day was and what she did, no response. Weird. The more attractive lady said she'll get back to me tomorrow and we'll set something up on her day off this week. She's a PA. I said sure. We'll see. I put very little cred in what any of them say these days. I found them both on Facebook, so the recent pics are the same as the ones online. Again, we'll see.