she wants to take salsa class, a 'friend' showed her some moves, do i need to do it?

pete101

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this girl im seeing wants to take salsa classes, i dont know how intimate of a dance salsa is but i dont like the idea of some other dude kino'ing her in an intimate dance, hell i dont want to take salsa classes, judging by how it looks it's rather feminine dance, however im concerned that she'll need a dance partner and never specifically asked me to join her.. her 'friend' taught her some moves on fri night when she was at the bar on campus.

if i tell her i'll be her partner and she says 'no it's ok i have someone else.' do i just have to accept it? she's not my gf, i cant be like 'thats not cool'

i just dont like where this is leading.
 

Gangster Of Love

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You are reeking insecurity. The reason this will not end well is because of the way you are coming across.

If you don't want to go dance Salsa, don't go dance salsa. She is behaving the very exact way and with the very exact frame you need to operate with.

Imagine you had a girl you were interested who always was nagging you about going out with your friends and always wanted to tag along even when it was not her thing.

She doesn't want you dancing with her because the guys there know what they are doing, she wants someone on the level. Also, yes, she will probably be into some of the guys there because women love men who know and are good dancers. As you said it, you can't give her $hit for it, you two are not together or anything.

If you want to actually end up dancing with her, do it because you want to, not to keep her away from other guys. That is not attractive. So don't even ask her or offer. Let her have her life.

I suggest you keep spinning plates and are involved in your own passions and interests.
 

pete101

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Gangster Of Love said:
You are reeking insecurity. The reason this will not end well is because of the way you are coming across.

If you don't want to go dance Salsa, don't go dance salsa. She is behaving the very exact way and with the very exact frame you need to operate with.

Imagine you had a girl you were interested who always was nagging you about going out with your friends and always wanted to tag along even when it was not her thing.

She doesn't want you dancing with her because the guys there know what they are doing, she wants someone on the level. Also, yes, she will probably be into some of the guys there because women love men who know and are good dancers. As you said it, you can't give her $hit for it, you two are not together or anything.

If you want to actually end up dancing with her, do it because you want to, not to keep her away from other guys. That is not attractive. So don't even ask her or offer. Let her have her life.

I suggest you keep spinning plates and are involved in your own passions and interests.
well isn't the issue that some dude would be dancing with some guy who isn't you?

he'd be kino'ing her the whole time, god knows what kind of intimacy and attraction that creates.

she will be my girl soon, are u saying i should just be happy with it and accept it?

it's not my fault she wants to do salsa.. too many of these b1tches want to do this stuff creating extra probs for their other halves.

great, i can be not insecure about it, but even if she's highly attracted to me being in an intimate dance with some dude in that moment she won't remember/think of me. in that moment.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Look at it this way, if the dudes there don't have any game, and if she's not the type that will cheat at this point, her dancing with somebody will be irrelevant. The way those learning classes work, they meet at a restaurant/bar type of place, they rotate, so everyone dances with everyone, there are guys and girls of all skill levels. There single, married and couples who go to dance and learn. No big deal.

It is NOT an intimate dance. It is not dirty dancing or LAP/TABLE dancing where they grind on eachother. Have you even seen what Salsa dancing looks like? Look it up on youtube. There is very little tangling or contact during the dance. In fact, it is considered one of the "classiest" latin dances.

Regardless of what it is, wether it be beanie babies, soaps on tv, shoe shopping, or anything else she does, she will NOT be thinking of you, regardless. Just like you don't think of your chick(s) when you watch football, basketball, baseball, boxing, MMA, or when you are practicing your hobbies. Don't be that insecure or needy. You don't need her to always be thinking of you, do you?

You should be happy for her. This is a perfect opportunity for you to go pursue some other type of "guy" activity or your own hobbies/interests/passions, and not worry about getting nagged by a gf or love interest. Dude, don't even worry about it. If she actually dumps you or goes with someone else, it will not be because she does Salsa, it is because she is looking for a different type of guy. Not your fault.
 

horaholic

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She can't dump him, when they have NOTHING going on. The OP is obsessed with this chick who has obviously FZ'd him, and makes thread after thread about her. Its totally unhealthy. Do you NOT understand what the word 'oneitis' means? Get a grip on your reality, man.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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Pete, here is the impression of you that I get from your initial post and from you're reply to gansters advice.

1. You aren't a very confident guy and you're insecure.
2. You don't have a whole lot going on right now in your life. (apparently so because you would be willing to take these classes, meaning you have that much free time)
3. She is the only girl you are seeing.

You should work on those three problems and in that order. Fix 1 and 2 and number 3 will likely fix itself.

As for your situation, I know from experience (I used to take hip hop and have sat in on classes for many other styles including salsa) that dance classes are mostly women. My hip hop class was me and 11 other girls. A f*cking GOLD MINE by the way because they all had nice bodies and were fun girls.

So, for now, to feel more secure about the situation immediately, look at it like this: she probably isn't going to be the hottest girl in the class, she'll probably have to partner with girls and if she does wind up partnering with a guy, she isn't going to fall in love with him or anything. I've danced with lots of girls and trust me, its not this oozing vat of kino and attraction. When you are trying to learn steps and work on a routine, its not all sexy touching. Its work.

Girls do like men who can dance but its just one thing that they like. Just because a guy can dance doesn't mean your girl is going to fall for him, be realistic. If you have it in the bag like you say you do than you have nothing to worry about.

In the mean time, get to work on your own issues. Hell, take a few dance classes if you're up for it, it's fun, builds your confidence with women and makes you more attractive.

Good luck.

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sodbuster

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Take the class, learn how to dance. THEN you can impress the other women that will be in your life in the future.You also keep her with you. Kind of a 2 birds with one stone deal
 

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horaholic said:
She can't dump him, when they have NOTHING going on. The OP is obsessed with this chick who has obviously FZ'd him, and makes thread after thread about her. Its totally unhealthy. Do you NOT understand what the word 'oneitis' means? Get a grip on your reality, man.
Yeah man...just read the long ass list of posts he has made about this girl. Sad.

Pete, have you kissed this girl?
 

Vanilla

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Shame, you should be able to do basic salsa, it takes a few months to get the basics down, and you get to kino the hell out of them.
 
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