She wants me to call and text her more...is this a trap?

[mrgoodstuff]

Are you guys even having sex yet?

 

[rjc149]

The other posts aren’t “misinformed” in the least. Sure, if the OP wants a LTR with a narcissistic gas lighter by all means have it with this one. Asking for exclusivity after date 1 and neglecting to mention that he would be meeting her family (including her kid for Christ sake) until he shows up on the spot is crazy behavior. Has nada to do with a “natural progression” of a relationship.

This particular woman has hard-wiring from her oriental cultural upbringing which essentially forbids casual sex, so she needs some kind of reassurance from him before she has sex with him. Once he gave that reassurance to her, and she felt the emotional connection was safe, she let him bang her.

I’ve known of off-the-boat Asian women who insisted on being in a Facebook-official exclusive relationship before there was any hanky panky. They come from shame-based morality systems, not guilt-based Judeo-Christian morality systems that westerners are raised in. Social appearances are paramount to actual behavior.

I don’t think the question is whether this girl is crazy, but whether the poon is worth the headache. If he wants the poon, playing the “high value aloof alpha” will disconnect her emotionally and she will move on pretty quickly. She needs the emotional reassurance to remain sexually available to him. This is the hallmark of anxious attachment styles.

 

[Barrister]

This particular woman has hard-wiring from her oriental cultural upbringing which essentially forbids casual sex, so she needs some kind of reassurance from him before she has sex with him. Once he gave that reassurance to her, and she felt the emotional connection was safe, she let him bang her.

I’ve known of off-the-boat Asian women who insisted on being in a Facebook-official exclusive relationship before there was any hanky panky. They come from shame-based morality systems, not guilt-based Judeo-Christian morality systems that westerners are raised in. Social appearances are paramount to actual behavior.

I don’t think the question is whether this girl is crazy, but whether the poon is worth the headache. If he wants the poon, playing the “high value aloof alpha” will disconnect her emotionally and she will move on pretty quickly. She needs the emotional reassurance to remain sexually available to him. This is the hallmark of anxious attachment styles.

I find it interesting that a contingent of posters here seem to be OK giving these Asian women a pass on this type of behavior just because of their culture. I take your point that they are the way they are due to how they are raised (I wouldn't know - I have never dated an Asian woman). At the same time, why does this make it acceptable? It is still controlling behavior that would be a constant battle in an LTR with one of them. "Crazy" may have been a pejorative term on my part -- but what I highlighted above is not normal behavior by any stretch, Asian or not, and not something I would put up with. To each their own.

 

[rjc149]

I find it interesting that a contingent of posters here seem to be OK giving these Asian women a pass on this type of behavior just because of their culture. I take your point that they are the way they are due to how they are raised (I wouldn't know - I have never dated an Asian woman). At the same time, why does this make it acceptable? It is still controlling behavior that would be a constant battle in an LTR with one of them. "Crazy" may have been a pejorative term on my part -- but what I highlighted above is not normal behavior by any stretch, Asian or not, and not something I would put up with. To each their own.

I’m not saying it’s acceptable — that’s an individual judgement call — I’m saying that they have different attitudes about relationships.

If he is enjoying the needy Asian poon, and wants to keep it around, I’m advising on how to keep it around. Not whether he should. That’s up to him. Personally? Why not enjoy the ride. If she’s hot and needy, she’ll lose interest pretty soon no matter what he does.

 

[rjc149]

Old world thinking. If this were true she wouldnt have fcked him.
Actions are king

From what I read, once he spent half an hour reassuring her that he was there for her, he got to pound her. Cultural hard wiring influences behavior, as does current social conditioning. FOB Asian girls who’ve been here long enough start participating in hookup culture. That doesn’t change where they came from.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She is looking for a provider. End of story

That’s the whole point. Traditional women want providers. If OP wants a sloot bag he should pick another target. Preferably a more broken woman.

 

[Barrister]

That’s the whole point. Traditional women want providers. If OP wants a sloot bag he should pick another target. Preferably a more broken woman.

Most (not all) women want a provider -- traditional or otherwise. You're essentially telling OP to overlook what are clearly problems simply because this woman comes from a traditional, Asian background. Just because she didn't put out on Date 1 doesn't mean she is high quality. She has some major issues to have behaved the way she did.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Most (not all) women want a provider -- traditional or otherwise. You're essentially telling OP to overlook what are clearly problems simply because this woman comes from a traditional, Asian background. Just because she didn't put out on Date 1 doesn't mean she is high quality. She has some major issues to have behaved the way she did.

The OP is requesting tactical analysis; not character judgement. No one said she is “high quality.” Advanced game requires communication pattern recognition. This is not a case of over-pursuit on his part. Thus, he has no reason to be concerned with too much talking. He has the opposite issue.

 

[Barrister]

The OP is requesting tactical analysis; not character judgement. No one said she is “high quality.” Advanced game requires communication pattern recognition. This is not a case of over-pursuit on his part. Thus, he has no reason to be concerned with too much talking. He has the opposite issue.

You seem to be changing your tune from earlier talking about the "natural progression" of a LTR. Which this is most certainly not. And pointing out what are red flags is by no means character assassination of the woman. Maybe she is Mother Teresa outside of a relationship. But she is clearly very controlling and is going to make the OPs life hell in an LTR when she already is trying to exert such strong control over the frame of the relationship. Whether he is requesting "tactical analysis" or asking in general if he should be with her (I took it as a little of both), telling him this is "natural progression" of an LTR is simply inaccurate -- at least in a healthy way.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You seem to be changing your tune from earlier talking about the "natural progression" of a LTR. Which this is most certainly not. And pointing out what are red flags is by no means character assassination of the woman. Maybe she is Mother Teresa outside of a relationship. But she is clearly very controlling and is going to make the OPs life hell in an LTR when she already is trying to exert such strong control over the frame of the relationship. Whether he is requesting "tactical analysis" or asking in general if he should be with her (I took it as a little of both), telling him this is "natural progression" of an LTR is simply inaccurate -- at least in a healthy way.

None of this is what the OP asked for. My analysis is pretty cut and dry. All relationships have a progression and an end point. What he chooses to do with this broad is his choice. Over-communicating is simply not a concern in the OPs situation.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Horres want provisions too man. All of them are professional resource extractors in some form or another

That is what women do. They extract resources from men in exchange for sexual access and reproduction. Don’t know why so many insist on re-writing biology…

 

[rjc149]

This has never happened to you? Its called LMR. Its a girl thing not a culture thing in 2021

Yes, I’m aware that emotional connection as a condition for sex is a female thing. That’s the point I was making.