She wants me to apologise to her ex..

[SkiLife]

Hi,

Ok so I work with this girl who I've been seeing for 3.5 months now. Turns out the first time I slept with her she hadn't completely broken it off with her ex, she said that they were 'on and off'. We'd liked each other for a while as at the Christmas party last year we were flirting innocently, but then I caught wind that she had a boyfriend so I walked away.

So after I slept with her the first time she woke up in a panic, as she had to go to a wedding with her ex, she said they were 'off' and was just going as a friend and justified to herself that because she'd finally gone for me she'd take it as a sign that it was finally off with her ex. He figured it out immediately and went mad at her, she tried to deny it.

They both stay closely in contact and we have a whirlwind romance, she keeps in close contact with him, which i wasn't too happy about, she also saw him without telling me about it once and was shifty about the situation which I could just sense, so questioned her and she owned up to and said it was because she knew seeing him would make me unhappy but she still wants to be friends with him.

She's now told him that we are seeing each other, to which he's lost the plot, sending me emails and threatening to beat me up and come to my work, yet is being really nice to her and playing broken hearted? I showed her the email he sent me, which basically read 'so you **** other peoples girls huh?'.

Now heres the punch line She want's me to apologise to him, because I carried on seeing her after I found out she was 'on off with someone' and now he's upset?

Do I have anything to apologise for? Not in my eyes! Should I be alarmed at this scenario? I've said before I want her to stop seeing him, he's not good for our relationship, she's said, and I know she's telling the truth that she does keep in touch with her ex's as friends, she still talks to her first boyfriend all the time, and they're fine as friends, but this guy is weird, manipulative and really made her feel awful a lot of the time.

Advice? More context needed?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

No, you are just an opportunist unless you raped her which you did not. Your girl should be the one to apologize not you at all.

 

[Mike32ct]

Spins the SS Magic Answer Wheel.....

The pointer is stopping on......

HELL NO.


Absolutely nothing good can come from apologizing. Admitting to his face that F-ed "his girl" usually doesn't end well.

She either wants to deflect all the blame and associated guilt on you and/or she's looking to get off on the drama associated with you and this guy having an ugly confrontation. Either way, there is nothing in it for you.

 

[MOTU]

Dude, run away now before the sh!t gets deeper with this girl. Think not just about what she's done to you by keeping her ex warm, think of what she is doing to HIM, stringing him along while he clearly has feelings for her still. 'Cause you'll be him one day.

 

[GS750]

Typical. Nothing is her fault. The way girls rationalize things is really amazing. You should do nothing. She sounds like trouble to me.

 

[Skyline]

Wait so she currently has a boyfriend, she's on and off and the her ex, AND seeing you? And wants you to apologize? This girl is terrible news dude. Just drop her and let those two AFC's "handle" her. She should be the one apologizing.

 

[LMFAO]

You're not apologising to anyone.

Let her deal with her ex boyfriend on her own terms. Don't tell her to deal with it, she won't. Just give her the free choice to do so, so she can figure it out for herself in her thick emotionally retarded head and put some space between you and her for now. 9 times out of 10 she will stay attached to him and won't leave him that easily, even if she calls him her ex and says they are separated they may well not be.

Keep her on the low for now as she sorts out her feelings with her beta tw@t, while you spin more plates (c*m in other girls' mouths).

 

[Epimanes]

All I have to say is .. FVCK THAT SHYT.... She is using you as a scapegoat and likely playing it up like you took advantage of her....

She's not worth your time.... Tell her to fvck off too..

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Great advice on this thread.

She's telling him one thing, then telling you another. All the while, she's created this drama induced love triangle for herself. She couldn't be happier.

Classic.

 

[AttackFormation]

You don't have sh!t to apologise to either of them for.

Couldn't have said it better myself:

She's telling him one thing, then telling you another. All the while, she's created this drama induced love triangle for herself. She couldn't be happier.

Classic.

 

[VladPatton]

This is so not gonna be worth it in the end. Way, WAY too much drama for getting some puṣṣy. Tell her to fück off and to come back when she has zero boyfriends because you don't have time, nor do you want to deal with this junior high school bullshıt. Next thing you know is you;re getting death threats from her ex bf and you're in court getting restraining orders. For what? A low quality chick you're gonna dump after you shoot 5 or 6 loads in her.

Cut to the chase and dump: http://media.carbonated.tv/56497_story__original5.gif

 

[GS750]

She can go fvk herself. And so can her beta-boyfriend.

Walk away and never, ever look back.

This. The whole "you should apologize to my ex for..." is idiotic. This chick sounds like a moron. Walk. Wait, no. RUN.

 

[soden]

Hi,

Ok so I work with this girl who I've been seeing for 3.5 months now. Turns out the first time I slept with her she hadn't completely broken it off with her ex, she said that they were 'on and off'. We'd liked each other for a while as at the Christmas party last year we were flirting innocently, but then I caught wind that she had a boyfriend so I walked away.

So after I slept with her the first time she woke up in a panic, as she had to go to a wedding with her ex, she said they were 'off' and was just going as a friend and justified to herself that because she'd finally gone for me she'd take it as a sign that it was finally off with her ex. He figured it out immediately and went mad at her, she tried to deny it.

They both stay closely in contact and we have a whirlwind romance, she keeps in close contact with him, which i wasn't too happy about, she also saw him without telling me about it once and was shifty about the situation which I could just sense, so questioned her and she owned up to and said it was because she knew seeing him would make me unhappy but she still wants to be friends with him.

She's now told him that we are seeing each other, to which he's lost the plot, sending me emails and threatening to beat me up and come to my work, yet is being really nice to her and playing broken hearted? I showed her the email he sent me, which basically read 'so you **** other peoples girls huh?'.

Now heres the punch line She want's me to apologise to him, because I carried on seeing her after I found out she was 'on off with someone' and now he's upset?

Do I have anything to apologise for? Not in my eyes! Should I be alarmed at this scenario? I've said before I want her to stop seeing him, he's not good for our relationship, she's said, and I know she's telling the truth that she does keep in touch with her ex's as friends, she still talks to her first boyfriend all the time, and they're fine as friends, but this guy is weird, manipulative and really made her feel awful a lot of the time.

Advice? More context needed?

First, I thought you got some psycho drama queen PLATE but then I read the big red part.


I have to ask you one big question here: ARE YOU RETARDED?
Did you read anything on this forum?

Seriously, why are you wasting your time with such a b!tch? If you can't figure out the red flags I marked in bold for yourself...I guess, its hopeless.


There is only ONE thing you can do:

Answer him "you can have her back, bro, good luck"
Tell her "you are right, I should not have done that, you can go back to him"
and walk as far and as fast as you can...better run.

 

[Mike32ct]

She can go fvk herself. And so can her beta-boyfriend.

Walk away and never, ever look back.

^Best answer.

 

[GS750]

"She keeps in close contact with him"
"She still wants to be friends with him"
"She saw him without telling me"

Translates to: She wants to keep him in her life, as a "friend" only right now, just in case it doesn't work out with you or she gets bored with you or you dump her ass. He's her safety net in case she becomes single. She wants it both ways. She hasn't decided exactly what to do with him yet, she still wants him in her life. You should drop her selfish ass and let her go back to him as her only option. She can't be considered for a relationship, obviously, because she feels the need to carry on a "frienship" with an ex while being involved with you. Plus she cheated on him. This whole situation is very familiar, unfortunately. She is probably not worth your time.

 

[SkiLife]

You're all going to love this. And I deserve whats coming

I left out some parts as i basically didnt think they were important in the first instance. We'd planned a holiday together and were flying out on Thursday, I told her she needed to tell him about us being official and that we were going on holiday, which, as i previously said, she did and he flipped (Tuesday). What I missed (didnt know at the time) was he made a massive play, to manipulate and get in to her head with fairytale promises of a house, a business and that he'd changed and all that **** (Tuesday evening), she ate it up, she was completely off the whole holiday and I found out what had happened and that she was eating this **** up (Monday), that he'd promised her a shot at a dream future, that he'd changed etc etc that she got ****ing confused by. The girls not a money grabber, its more the ambition, I earn less than her, but the ambition and capacity is what caught her eye, but this guy knows how to manipulate her mind and its ****ing diabolical, basically knowing exactly what he's saying right before a holiday to ensure it ****s with her head enough to throw her off completely the entire trip, to make our relationship look like its struggling, which i completely called out.

Thing is, this girl has helped push me to get a promotion, earn the respect of a massive peer group, improved me as a person, emphasised latent character traits that has made everybody sit up and take notice the last few months, which completely ****s with my head. You're going to slaughter me for the next bit, I've never felt this way about ANYONE, literally, i've been where you're sat now, and I look at me and say 'WHAT THE ****' but something in my head is saying, last chance, get this guy out of your life and be with me, 2 reasons, 1st because what we have had/achieved together is incredible (details are kinda pointless, but its a huge change in my life/career/bank for the better). 2nd, because that dude is just going to hurt her again. And letting that happen is something I'd be F'IN pissed off at myself for!

Don't hold back.

 

[LMFAO]

Well this is your only solution now:

She can go fvk herself. And so can her beta-boyfriend.

Walk away and never, ever look back.

You care more about her than she does of you and are sounding like you're some sort of white knight going to save her from the drama with her boyfriend, she is actually deep down attracted to the drama.

Get out of there while you can at least with a little bit of respect.

 

[Trump]

Come on bro, you can't sleep with a girl and then be this naive. She is getting her rocks off by watching you guys go at it.

Just ignore. Don't let her have it, don't talk to her, don't do anything with her. Unless she writes you a text saying "sorry I should have known better than to take advantage of you. I only did it because I'm so in love you. Please forgive me because I cannot stop loving you."

For some reason I don't think that will happen...lol.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I've never felt this way about ANYONE, literally, i've been where you're sat now, and I look at me and say 'WHAT THE ****' but something in my head is saying, last chance, get this guy out of your life and be with me, 2 reasons, 1st because what we have had/achieved together is incredible (details are kinda pointless, but its a huge change in my life/career/bank for the better). 2nd, because that dude is just going to hurt her again. And letting that happen is something I'd be F'IN pissed off at myself for!

This chick sounds like she's playing both of you, which she probably is. That being said, a woman is ultimately going to be with a man, for the long term, who respects himself. A man who doesn't beg, plead, try to convince, pander.....all the $hit it sounds like you're doing - going to do, and what that other beta is doing. BTW, which are all ultimately attraction killers.

You can dig your own miserable grave here if you want, or you can be a MAN and walk away.

You've gotten some good advice on this thread. It's your choice if you choose to accept it.

 

[GS750]

Question for the OP. Who do you think is more attractive to HER? The guy who begs and pleads or the guy who is willing to just walk the fvck away and never look back? Who do you think projects that he has other options and will be just fine without her?