She Wants Love, I Want Sex

[Galactus]

I met a girl online, she lives in another state, we haven't met face-to-face yet. From her pictures, she is definitely a solid 8 or 9 (on my scale, at least). I can't imagine her having problems meeting men, but she says she is tired of meeting men who just want to get in her pants, and she wants something different.

I just want to get in her pants.

We have been IMing, and I have made semi-sexual comments, like I'm going to take a shower, I wish she could join me. She doesn't freeze me out when I do that, but she doesn't escalate the sexual talk. I don't think she hates sex, but I just think she wants to be sure I want more than just that. She has told me I am starting to really get to her, and she thinks about me all day. She will send me a message before she goes to bed at night, hoping I will be there to tell her sweet dreams. She has some vacation days coming up soon, and she says she wants to come here.

I just want to get in her pants.

Any ideas on how I should proceed?

 

[Last_straw]

What's with you guys that meet girls online who live no where near you? No pvssy in your town?

 

[Galactus]

Hey, don't be a jerk. Seriously. You don't impress me. Yeah, there's pu$$y here, I work that angle too.

If you can't respond to my question, don't respond at all. I'm not an AFC, I've gotten plenty of pu$$y, but I'm having a rough patch and I'm trying to get over it. Nobody on this site needs that kind of garbage.

Don't respond to me unless you have something positive to say, and I will return the favor.

 

[Kailex]

Galactus, actions... not words.
That's all you need to measure. Forget what she said about "Every guy wants to get in my pants"... well of course they do, THATS THE POINT.

Just make sure she comes see YOU and then escalate.

Just don't be deterred by what she's saying, just measure how she reacts to what YOU are saying and go from there. Aside from that, this is a side dish C, not a plate A.

 

[Last_straw]

Well personally I wouldn't bother with her. Two reasons. 1. She lives far away and you'd both need to make an effort to chill. 2. I sense that your just gonna get LMR from her. She'll probably hold out on you in order to determine if your just after sex. I don't know what she wants, maybe she's just seeking attention. I don't have advice for you on how to lay her because frankly I don't think this is worth your effort. But if you need to try something try this. Get her to come to your town on her dime. Isolate her (movie at your place), add in alcohol/drugs, escalate, see what happens. But don't waste much time on her, and absolutely don't catch feelings.

 

[Bible_Belt]

she is tired of meeting men who just want to get in her pants...I just want to get in her pants.


That is an impressively concise summary of the male-female dynamic.

 

[iliketennis]

you've never met her and she wants you to love her?

 

[Galactus]

Kailex: I won't be deterred. I understand that you might think I'm a chump with oneitis, I haven't been on this site for like eight years. But for the record, I never put all my eggs in one basket. Just because I write a post concerning one girl, doesn't mean she's all I'm focusing on.

Straw: Thanks for not coming back with an attitude. However, I disagree. First, where's the effort? I've spent more time reading about the oil spill than I have interacting with her. I work online, I'm at this computer a lot, I can afford to chat with her a little here and there. I don't know what LMR is. Must be one of the newer acronyms. But make no mistake, she comes here, we will be doing the wild thing.

Why do people act like time is running out fast? I'm probably older than most of the DJs here, and yet I feel like I have plenty of time. Let's assume for a second that she doesn't put out. What have I lost? Some time I spent chatting, and maybe I got to watch "30 Days of Night" with a hot woman instead of a Baconator.

And I'm not going to spend one penny on her. I told her that from the start. It's all on her dime, and on her time.

Bible: And yet somehow, babies get made.

Iliketomakegirlsgruntliketheyareplayingtennis: Yeah, she could be crazy, but I doubt it. Women see me and they want to reproduce with me. But then I start talking.

Anyway, I was just asking for advice on how you think I could ease the process. How to hook her, to make sure she gets in her car and drives my way.

So, in summary:

A couple hours chatting: zero dollars
Her coming to see me on her dime: zero dollars
Seeing her when I can work it into my schedule: zero dollars
Hearing her say I Love You while face down on the mattress: priceless

 

[ARrocket]

Kailex is right, don't be deterred!!

Just be persistent. Keep doing what you're doing, if you really are "getting to her," she WILL come see you. It seems like whatever you're doing is working, so don't change it!

Now then, as for the the other part...since you just want sex...JUST HAVE SEX!!! Ok, she comes to you...now what? Just run your game. Sex her. Send her home.

If you're looking for a long-distance fvck buddy, don't think that's gonna happen here. If you're looking for a pump and dump, I think you'll be fine.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Any ideas on how I should proceed?

Call her and get her to come meet you...

I guess I'm not really sure what you mean by this because I thought it was obvious.

 

[Galactus]

Wow.

I realize that if I want to have sex with her, we need to actually be in the same place. I get that.

What I'm referring to is the fact that I'm not sure what's going on in her mind regarding sex. I don't doubt that I can hit it, but I'm looking for suggestions about how to smooth out the process. Let me try to make it even clearer. If she comes here, I have no doubt I'll hit it. I just want to make sure I tell her what she needs to hear so she will come here.

"You want to bang the girl? Then do it!" Really?

Some of you guys are telling me good stuff. I appreciate it.

Others, you're acting like it's all a no-brainer, so you can look cool to the other DJs, without offering anything of substance. I know a lot of things you guys know and a lot you don't, but I've been out of practice for a few years, as I've pointed out quite a bit recently. I'd appreciate if you could cut me some slack; what's obvious to you now, may not be so obvious once you've been out of the game for awhile. Seriously, it vanishes into thin air. I know the old me is still in here somewhere, but I'm trying to reactivate it, I don't know why it's so difficult, but it is. I'm very experienced with women. I'm just trying to remember. Please don't treat me like some 18-year-old chump who just started getting his dyck wet. Okay?

I come here for two reasons: To get tips on things I may not know, from people who know, and to give tips on things I know, to people who want to know it. That should be everyone's goal here. If it's not, quit wasting people's time. Go post your asinine comments on Youtube.

I'm back here after all these years because that's how desperate things have gotten. But if you think I have nothing to contribute, look at some of my old posts, from 2002. One of them's in the DJ Bible. I hope to contribute some more, because when I was here before, that's when I started getting really good. But I'm starting to wonder if this site has gotten so lame that I might have to look elsewhere. I hope not.

 

[ENIGMA16]

My post was regarding the exact request that you have just repeated in your rant. You said:

Let me try to make it even clearer. If she comes here, I have no doubt I'll hit it. I just want to make sure I tell her what she needs to hear so she will come here.

She has already told you she's interested in you to the point where she "thinks about [you] all day" and that she "[hopes you] will be there to tell her sweet dreams" at night. I don't know how much more blatant one could get; she's obviously interested in you. So your next step would be to call her and invite her out.

I thought that was obvious, which is what I said in my last post. Is it not obvious to you that when a girl says things like that to you that she's into you?

And please don't give me another rant. I'm honestly trying to figure out where you're held up here and what you're confused about. You're basically saying "I know this girl is interested in me and that I should call her. What should I do next?"

 

[DoItAgain]

Are you in that much of a slump that some girl from out of state is worth this much effort? Regardless of what you say, you obviously think about her if you bothered to post about it on the forum.

 

[zekko]

She Wants Love, I Want Sex

Actually, I like love AND sex.

 

[manish]

She Wants Love, I Want Sex

Have u seen inception...if not ..see it..you will get the idea

 

[ARrocket]

You know how it's always thrown around here that you need to judge a woman by her actions and now her words? Use this, and throw it back at her. MAKE her judge you by your ACTIONS and not by your words. Your words need to build comfort. THEN once she comes to you, your actions need to make her wanna fvck your brains out.

You're over-thinking this way too much. I still stand by this:

Just be persistent. Keep doing what you're doing, if you really are "getting to her," she WILL come see you. It seems like whatever you're doing is working, so don't change it!

To me, it sounds like just another form of anti-slut defense. What do you want her to say? "I'm going to drive all the way out there so that we can fvck!"? No. If she is looking for a relationship, which she is, she cannot say that. She HAS to say that she is looking for more than sex.

In these situations, I've found it acceptable to throw out a (albeit AFC-ish) reassuring statement or two. "You seem like a pretty cool girl, come on down and we'll make sure you are " Something like that.

 

[bluenorther]

I posted something about this topic on A-ology.com, "How do I know if a guy is looking for more than just sex?"
It's a question that shows up in various forms at least once a day on there.

It's also minefield question, especially if she hasn't even MET you. What she's trying to do is pick you apart, looking for excuses to dump you, before she actually knows you. How is this being fair?
Lots of women use this as a way to dodge relationships entirely.
The answer is: Don't try to answer the question. Defuse it, instead.
Part of what makes it a minefield question is that maybe, SHE only wants sex, and HE wants more! I've experienced this. The majority of respondents don't think of that angle.
The wierd thing is, if we indicate right away that we're open to a commitment, it's a dump-able Red Flag, because it's TOO SOON!

I'd suggest using some reverse psychology: Don't THINK of an APPLE.
What do you think of?
Keep reassuring her that you're NOT just trying to get into her pants. Her mind will stay focused on the idea of you *not* getting into her pants. She will continue to think only of you getting into her pants...

If this woman is willing to drive to your location for a visit, entertain the hell out of her, fnck her brains out asap, and send her home believing that it wasn't "just* about sex.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

I was in the same boat. A chick from Boston really wanted to meet me. I figured I really needed a vacation since I was getting burned out. I let her know that sex was expected.

So I went out there for 5 days, got to see all the sights. I f*cked her in the p*ssy, ass, and mouth. While the vacation was fun, I have no intention of seeing her or Boston again.

 

[DonGorgon]

she wants love from you and great sex from other men.. don't be that dude !

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

When a girl says that she's "looking for something different" and is sick of guys just wanting to get in her pants it means one of two related things.
1.) She is a total prude. Guys meet her, try to get her into bed and fail because she doesn't give it up. They get that she's a tough sell so just move on to the next chick.
2.) She is easily gamed. She is sick of having guys meet her, put the moves on her and sleep with her. Then, they aren't looking for anything serious and she's left with just a mediocre night of sex and an empty feeling.

Either way, you can pursue her. I just wouldn't condone traveling too far to do so (as others have said). I sometimes play the nice guy role and will just tell these women before I even sleep with them that I'm not looking for anything serious. If you've done your job right, many will just bang you anyway hoping to change your mind. Other guys are more patient and will go through the entire motions of faking relationship-related activities and speech just to get the girl to finally feel comfortable enough to sleep with you, and then these guys will bail as well. Your path is your choice, but I will always say don't misrepresent yourself if you don't have to.