She wants a "bad boy"

Oscar Wilde

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I've been watching closely what the girl is looking for & here's the answer. So I'm wondering if I can be her bad boy while still being the same guy who I am. I think my last GF was more into the AFC type guy, so even though I've improved leaps and bounds in this area I still have more to go before shrugging it off. Difficult, because I come from a fairly "sensitive" family.

Have you guys any ideas on how to portray this bad boy image without giving up on your morals or gentlemanly behaviour?
 

Gold Heart

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I don't have any specific ideas, but I always thought of ****y and funny as a classic way to get the bad boy impression going. She might think, "I don't know him yet, but there has to be a lot more to him because of the way he's talking to me."

Of course, actually BEING a bad boy and doing things that are usually wrong put the image in her head better, but since you want to keep your morals intact and still be a gentleman, ****y funny is most likely the best way to go. Bust on her often, and lean SLIGHTLY towards a jerk. Don't overdo it though.

C&F is the key - But of course, that's what we're all normally supposed to be doing anyway :)
 

Oscar Wilde

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Ok, I do tonnes of C&F already :)

Another suggestion I was PMd was to talk dirty, and have semi-public sex (risks). The problem here is I'm not very comfortable with the first (suggestions?) and the girl is not used to making out in public, never mind taking risks like this :) Still, good suggestions, keep 'em coming!

If anyone knows my situation from prev threads (bp), the story is that I'm dealing with a girl who sometimes seems to have low IL and pull back from me for various reasons, despite being quite interested. So I'm trying to DJ her and raise her IL. She's my GF atm and I want to see if I can keep the relationship going by being a bit more active. If it's not working out in a couple of weeks then I'll next.

Oscar.
 

Starman

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Becoming a "bad boy" to supplicate a womans wants is just plain chump behavior.

If she wanted a serial killer or a child abuser..would you become one??

Everyone has a bad boy in them that they are too scared to let out..ya know the child that steals, the child that is rude and disrespectful, the child that doesnt listen to the rules of society...the child that is careless..lies ..etc

All you have to do is get rid of some of the social.moral guilt that inhibits you from being your true self..and your bad boy image will shine through

no need to bend you self out of shape and become a bad boy
 
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I've posted this plenty of times before:
Holding Out for a Hero
Women, even the most independent of heterosexual women, tend
to respond very, very powerfully to a primitive archetype: the powerful man. When women get involved with men they don’t view as “powerful”— when they date “nice guys” and “good providers,” it’s often because they’ve been hurt by guys they’ve found more exciting. And that fantasy of the powerful, exciting man is almost always latent, and therefore something you can tap into.


Mr. Powerful is the guy you find in romance novels. Of course, in
romance novels he’s always rich and handsome, tall of stature, deep of voice, and broad of shoulder, but those, for our purposes, aren’t his most important attributes. The important attributes are products of belief and behavior, and therefore, things you can adopt and demonstrate, in a way that excites the women you meet.


What are the attributes of the powerful man?


First, independence.
The hero doesn’t need her. Moreover, he frequently rejects her in subtle ways. He often leans away from her and moves away from her, out of arm’s reach. His body language, facial expression, and vocal tone frequently deliver nonverbal messages of “I don’t need you; you need me” or “You’re not important” or “You’re not good enough” or “You’re disappointing me.”


Second, the hero has plans and objectives, a path he’s chosen for
himself. These things don’t center around her. As far as the hero is concerned, she can stay or go. Whatever she does or thinks or feels won’t sway him from his path. If she’s really, really lucky—if she proves again and again how worthy she is—maybe he will let her have a place in his life.But she will never be the center of his life.


Third, the hero is determined. The hero knows what he’s doing,
knows where he’s going, and goes after what he wants until he gets it.
Nothing sways him, and he doesn’t ***** or whine about mistakes or errors.
Make it absolutely clear that your aims are the only things that really matterto you.


Fourth, the hero is greater and more special than she is—he
doesn’t put her on a pedestal; instead, he occasionally lifts her up to his pedestal, and usually just allows her to fantasize him doing it. The rule is this: He must always demonstrate that he regards himself and his aims as more important than her aims and her needs. While women love intimacy,when it comes to love, they usually want intimacy with someone they see as greater, rather than someone they see as a mere equal.


Fifth, he challenges her. In practice, this sometimes means
undermining her confidence--and as we’ve mentioned, when you do this,
when you subtly or not so subtly reject or downgrade her, she’ll often find it stimulating and energizing. Use the following formulas: “Too bad you aren’t/don’t X” and “If only you were/could X”.

When you challenge her or criticize her, she’ll often become
motivated to prove her worthiness. You should occasionally point out her shortcomings, and most importantly, contemptuously point out her behavior when she tries to play games.
You can also be challenging by being a) volcanic and/or b) remote.

To achieve the effect of Amorous Vulcanism, you should raise your voice, make melodramatic physical gestures, be impatient, smolder, glower.
Occasionally act very angry. Your intensity will reinforce her sense that, in being with you, she’s part of something exciting.
To be remote, use silence a great deal. Silence, in combination with
eye contact, is very powerful. After you deliver a script, make eye contact and hold it silently—this will usually encourage her to process what you’ve said even more thoroughly. Also, don’t talk about yourself very much, except in relation to your plans and your objectives.


Your silence lets her project her romantic fantasies all the more thoroughly. Don’t talk about your doubts or errors. Silence can have the cruel but useful effect of heightening her anxieties. And in worrying about whether she’s about to lose you, she sees your value grow. And in seeing your value grow, she feels prouder of the relationship and more fulfilled.
Perhaps the best approach is to alternate Angry Intensity with Cold
Inaccessibility.


These behaviors, of course, are the sticks—the carrots, which should form the basis of your relationship, are the good feelings you create through regular verbal stimulation. As much as possible, say only things that will induce strong states in her—induce strong positive feelings, negative feelings, positive feelings—and not much else.


Pump up her emotions, and then give her lots of silence. Ignore her. When you do venture something personal or reveal vulnerability, it’ll seem like a reward, and a mark of how Deep your relationship is becoming.


Bear in mind, though, that when women complain about a lack of
communication, they’re usually upset at the lack of pleasurable verbal
stimulation—that is, the lack of those kinds of experiences which this report has taught you to create. When you provide regular verbal stimulation and feed her plenty of bubblewords, “communication” will seldom be an issue.

One might think: Hey, you’ve pretty much just recommended
behaving like a Neanderthal. Yes. Bear in mind that if you ask a woman about the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll almost surely describe them as reprehensible and very unattractive. What does she like? Well, she’ll probably say, she really likes nice, patient, respectful, loyal guys who treat her really well…



On the other hand, if you simply manifest the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll tell all her friends what an exciting guy she’s met.


Review
Women find you more attractive when you display the following attributes:
1. Independence. You don’t need her; she needs you.
2. Focus. Your goals are more important than anything else, including her.
3. Determination. You persist in the face of obstacles.
4. Superiority (to her and others). You’re the elusive prize; she should feel
that not losing you is a challenge in itself.
5. Alternating Intensity and Coolness. On occasion, be rude, challenging,
provocative, and/or frustrating—it’s much better to piss her off than to
bore her.

Apply this and you will get this type of results:

"
I got so excited I turned on my computer and it said I had one e-mail I thought it was from you it was from some stupid Red dragon football thing that's what I get for hoping. what's the saying silence is power you have all the f...ing power baby "
*********
You know I'm black by injection....... and I' am lookin a little pale so I need another shot from you .....hehe wink wink ;)
************

LOL
 
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Oscar Wilde

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Originally posted by Starman
Becoming a "bad boy" to supplicate a womans wants is just plain chump behavior.

Whatever, Starman, maybe there's something about the situation I'm forgetting to post here, but I'm not being a chump - I've drawn my line and am prepared to move if things don't work. What about that post was not clear about that? (rhetorical question). Your on-topic advice wasn't bad, cheers.

Cheers Playa, good stuff!
 

Starman

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Yo Playa Supreme,

I notice you are a big advocate of calling women on their game playing..

does this seem to be more effective from your angle..then to simply kick them to the curb..and make them wonder why you are no longer in contact with them? (i.e. NEXTing them)?

i.e. when you are demanding respect..do women see this as a sign of weakness(i.e. whining) or strength in character?
 

Oscar Wilde

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Player Supreme: DO NOT REPLY to his message.

Starman, Player: you 2 guys are not hijacking this thread to have another one of your jilted lovers tiffs. Go play in the High School forum.

On topic posts welcome.

Oscar.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I am not sure if women who proclaim to want a bad boy necessarily want that. There are a lot of characteristics of a bad boy that are permissible as a DJ though. I think those are the things that women are looking for but unfortunately they are seldom approached by DJs. What's left? Then antics of the bad boy.

DJs can have the bad boy edge though. Take James Bond. He's a good guy but if you consider his persona without taking into consideration his line of work, he could be considered a bad boy, but without the negative aspects.

James Bond is in control of himself, he is knowledgeable of his surroundings and he is definitely confident. When he is with women he is respectful and romantic with an undertone of affection. He very much aligns with what Doc Love says a DJ should aspire to.

So I would consider sticking to your DJ skills and be wary when sarging a woman who still gravitates to bad boy antics. Ask yourself if she really has the particular qualities that you would want in a woman.
 

dionysius_d

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"bad boy"

In regards the those above posts.. they are too complex and long to read anyway (re Player). I skipped them. lol

There is a very simple method to be "bad boy", where you don't have to be a b@astard..

its this: Just be contrary to her ideas and mind. If she suggests something, put your own touch on it. Twist and turn like a snake. If she says meet at 7pm, make it 8pm. If she says Monday, make it Tuesday.
If she's likes beaches, go to the mountains.. its "bad" because its not agreeing and going with the flow.

And that's all a "bad boy" is.. a non conformist. He dances to the beat of his own drum.

That's it.. you don't have to insult or to burn down houses.. just make it an effort for her sometimes and keep her on her toes.
 

elvis aint dead yet

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Many young women want a bad boy because he's the guy everybody talks about. He did this or that, he's this or that, etc.

It also means, good or bad, she'll be the center of attention in many circumstances. Her friends, family, others will either give her advice on seeking somebody better or others will be jealous of her newfound exciting life.

It's not that they love the true hardened bad boy, although some girls do like the criminal, it's that most younger girls want a relationship but also want to enjoy life.

Point in being,

NIce guy goes to work/school, hangs out with friends on friday, takes girlfriend out on saturday, calls gf every day or close to it, etc.

Girl goes to work/school, she hangs with friends, with her bf, talks to bf etc.

This is her routine. ANd it is the routine of the majority of the world. Most people do the same thing all the time. Even if once in a while they go to some new club outside of town or see some concert on the edge of town, it's really the same thing over and over and over again.

Nothing wrong with this, nothing wrong with this at all.

But now comes along Bad Boy, he shows up at your GF work, convinces her to leave with him, and they travel to someplace unknown for the weekend.

Maybe it's not her style, but it's different. The Bad Boy blows off work, blows off friends, and just leaves with your GF.

Your GF thinks the guy is awesome because he's thinking of only her, when in reality, he's just thinking of h imself.

Problem is, just like the nice guy boring routine, after some time, the BAD BOY routine becomes, well, pointless.

It's like, ok he blew off work again, ok we went here, blah blah blah.

The girl gets bored with this bad boy syndrome.

Same thing goes for the criminal too, but thats not what i'm talking about.

So basically, spice up your life once in a while. You don't have to be a criminal, but spice it up.

Maybe she hates camping, maybe you hate camping, but one weekend, just go, take off and go. Be daring, do something you both might like, but you both might not like. Take chances, take challenges and you'd be surprised how much she'll talk about how awesome of a guy you are, even if she hated camping or whatever you did.

If she asks, where are we going, tell her it's a surprise. TO make it really interesting, maybe you really don't know where you're going.

Like i said, do this every so often, once a year, once every so many months, whatever floats your boat.

it'll get her out of the "my life is sooo boring" routine and it'll get you out of your "my life sucks" routine as well.

You don't have to become the bad boy to be considered one to most females.

as the infamous nike slogan,

Just Do It.
 
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Re: "bad boy"

Originally posted by dionysius_d
In regards the those above posts.. they are too complex and long to read anyway (re Player). I skipped them. lol


Sorry Di...I only reposted that one as a reminder. I've cleaned it up into a more eye appealing format if you want to read. I know it's hard to even see blocks of unbroken jumbled text. I just posted to someone about not doing that at this other place last night...

peace

Oscar..your right...not worth it! Plus I know his secret
 

BobbDobbs

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I hate to keep shilling his e-book, but Pilinski does a good job in "Without Embarrassment ($25 over at www.highstatusmale.com) describing how women want the high status male.

The "bad boy" is just someone who has those characteristics of the potential high status male. In actuality they might be low status males, but they initially send signals of confidence, etc.

If you can master the manners of the high status male, you don't have to be a "bad boy" or "jerk."

Plus, women pick up on these signals fairly quickly and set their attraction based upon them rather than the substance behind them -- which is why loser jerks can get the girls, cuz the girls fall for them before they find out the truth. Too late then.
 

bp1974

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I like Player_Supreme's post but it seems like a hell of a lot to bear in mind and bring into your personality - more of a longterm aim (getting goals worth aiming for etc).

I'm not a 'bad boy', and I don't try and project that image or act that way. I admit there've been times I've tried and on me it just looks stupid, because it's an act, it's not me. Going around glaring at everyone doesn't get girls, it gets you into fights.

I've always been nice, friendly, open, honest, accommodating, interested in people, sensitive etc. Most people have these traits, nothing new there. What I realised is that it wasn't enough. Great if you want to be friends with everyone, but no good at all if you want more. So I started to look at what was missing, and what it is, is edge. I didn't have the confidence to be anything other than affable, friendly and smiley all the time, even when I felt inside like a volcano ready to explode, or like wanting to be playful and stupid.

So what did I have to work with to get a natural edge that comes easily to me? All men have the potential to be exciting, dramatic and passionate. To make a woman feel like she's on a rollercoaster when she meets you. Sometimes everything's calm and moving along smoothly, then suddenly you drop off and all h*ll breaks loose. All I had to do was to stop suppressing those qualities in me and just be myself.

To achieve the effect of Amorous Vulcanism, you should raise your voice, make melodramatic physical gestures, be impatient, smolder, glower.
Occasionally act very angry. Your intensity will reinforce her sense that, in being with you, she’s part of something exciting.
To be remote, use silence a great deal. Silence, in combination with
eye contact, is very powerful. After you deliver a script, make eye contact and hold it silently—this will usually encourage her to process what you’ve said even more thoroughly. Also, don’t talk about yourself very much, except in relation to your plans and your objectives.
This quote, using anger as an example, sums up those qualities in me that make me more rounded, whole, and human. And in the process, attract women to me in a more primitive way.


How has my behaviour changed?

1. I react less to what women say. I no longer assume that because they've said something, that they want me to say something back, or to repond verbally in some other way, with a laugh or whatever. Instead, a long look is enough, either with some amusement, appraisal or anger in my eyes.

Those times when in the past I'd be searching for the most appropriate thing to say in response to her, I now just don't say anything. In fact, my clue as to when it's best to keep schtum and pin her down with my eyes is when I find myself trying to work out what to say.

It's impossible to underestimate just how powerful a long, intense, lingering look can be when directed at a woman who's attracted to you. Whether you're looking with compassion, anger, humour, jealousy or whatever other emotion you are feeling at the time, it gives the woman permission to feel intensely what she feels. I've had a girl literally weeping with the intensity of her feelings just from me holding her gaze. I've no idea what she was feeling so strongly about, it doesn't matter, I was the template onto which she was able to feel what she wanted to feel, and I felt good about it.

2. I express what I'm feeling. It's called 'realness' or 'congruence' in some circles. We all have a rollercoaster ride of emotions going on in us all the time - feelings bubbling away under the surface, sometimes bursting out. Showing this fully is what can make a woman feel truly excited to be around us longterm.

Forget the 'bad boy' activities like taking her for a high-speed motorbike ride etc, those are cheap imitations designed to try and get her excited by external means, by guys who don't know how to use themselves to get her excited. When a woman plays games with me and I feel angry, I literally become angry before her eyes. I don't explode unless it's called for, mostly I become intense and tell her fiercely to stop playing games. But I do it for real. Everything about me, my face, my eyes, my voice, my stance, reflects what I'm feeling. If I'm feeling truly excited and happy, then I let that shine through.

Whatever I am feeling, I make a real attempt to (a) be aware of it and (b) be it. This isn't just for women, this is for life. People grow respect for people who can be themselves with no apology. And as far as women go, the more myself I am able to be, the safer it makes a woman feel to be with me. I'm using the word 'safe' in it's instinctive meaning. Women have a primal need to feel safe with their man, not safe in a Nice Guy "He's too much of a wuss to cause me trouble" way.

This is really something. I'm using anger as my main example because I often get p*ssed off with women's craziness. But think about it:
Being really, truly angry with a woman (with reason) can make her feel safe to be with you, and increase her desire to be yours. It gives you solidity in her eyes.

Legal Edit: I'm not talking physical abuse here.

Same with the other emotions. That's pretty deep. Or at least it was for me when I discovered how true this is.

It takes practice - if you're not used to showing how you feel, it takes practice to become comfortable with it. A few months back I was angry with a guy for something he'd said, so I told him. Two of the other people who were present said it was weird - I'd said I was angry, but they couldn't detect any anger in me, other than me using the word. I didn't look or act angry. This really made me think about how I present myself to people when I have something to say to them, and since then I've found a whole new level of expression, much more real, much more satisfying, and much more attractive.

So I guess I could sum up what I've learned as "Say less, be more, and show it". I'm still a work in progress, so sometimes I still hide what I feel, talk too much, be nice because I think I should etc, but that's ok, learning to be human takes time, effort and risk. Feeling more, expressing more, being more myself, the whole 'bad boy' idea becomes a non-issue. Why be a bad boy when you can be a man?

And in true Player_Supreme style, here's some quotes from the ladies to show how they feel about me:

"You're so confident, that's very attractive."

"You're so strong, I love that. You're really sexy."

"You're such a fantastic man. I just want to be with you."

"It's good to get the juices flowing."

This has turned into a long*ss post, and I've no idea how relevant you'll find it. Guess I've just had this stuff to say for a while, and it seemed on topic.
 
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