she txt'd me but ment someone else....something going down?

[quest]

ok, i'd been very content with how this relationship was going. HB 8 seems really interested in me. told me that she'd kissed only about 20 guys, had sex with 4 guys (3 long term boyfriends), she asked about me (before telling me hers) and i said that i'd kissed between 80-100 not sure, but i didn't tell her how many i'd slept with (10, 9 at the time).. anyway, what i'm trying to say is, she seems to need commitment. and she spoke to me about commitment on the 3rd or 4th time i'd been with her. i explained i don't have time for a girlfriend and she said she'd like to keep seeing me anyway.
she told me that her dad left her mum, and was abusive (they are together now)

i don't know if any of the above matters, just some background info for any psycology majors

this is the txt message i got, not ment for me...

hey mr! soz i couldnt cal u bak last nite. me n (female friend) r on our way down. we're gonna go for a swim.but i'll msg u wen we're in (location). u can meet us if u want. luv me

5 minutes later i got this message

hey (me). soz that was to 1 of mine n (femal friend's) mates from scool who we haven't seen for a ages. how r u? hows the homework?c u at (location).hehe.luv me.ps. u love me

just wondering what u guys think?
now obviously we are in a non commital relationship, which i chose. so maybe i shouldn't care.. but i do care a little bit.. i care that she MAY need/want another guy and i care that i might end up losing my root (would prob take me between 1-6 months to get another..)

 

[E-Z Rider]

Hell, I'd break it off with her just b/c of the way she types. I know people like to abbreviate on text messages, but to me that kind of typing comes across as really juvenile and it's a turnoff.

But that's just me =)

As for your question---

Who knows if she's doing anything else or not? You don't, we sure as hell don't, and nobody else really does except her and her close girlfriends. And they have their lips sealed I'm sure.

So, knowing both the above, and the fact that you admitidly aren't exclusive with her...you really have no reason to confront her about it, or even to worry about it enough to post on an internet forum =)

If you're into estimating, I'd guess that it's likely she has some interest in another guy. It's a little less likely she's acting on it, but still likely.

But you have no power to do anything about it. In a way, you brought this on yourself. She brings up exclusivity, and you reject the idea. Fine...but understand if she wants it bad enough she might go looking for it in other places. And the ironic thing is that, at the same time, you seem to want to have her for yourself, and don't seem to have other girls.

What's the point of not being exclusive in that case?

Anyways, I'm off-topic. All you can do is continue as if unaffected (and you can mentally make yourself unaffected, or close: just don't worry about it. Getting some other options -since your not exclusive- might be beneficial as well)

You shouldn't really do anything until you notice her disposition towards you change for the worse (i.e; interest level dropping). At that point, you need to start withdrawing from the relationship.

Hope this helps- -E-Z

 

[quest]

yeah it does help.
and ur right about alot of things...

i started seeing her just before summer ended.
now i'm at uni + working, 43 hours a week + homework/study/assignements hasn't left me alot of time. over summer i was seeing 2 girls the whole time. like, lose 1, find another.. (but most of the time had 2..)

i do have one other girl.. but she's only 16, i'm 20, she's keen for a root but i'm undecided on it. (i'm not seeing her, talking to her on the net though) got a headjob off her the same night i met her, and she loves me.

now back to the struggling for time point..
the last 3 weeks i've gone out, she turned up where i was going. which kinda ruined my chances at picking up, however, i did get a phone number, didn't act on it though, also a friend's (not close) ex girlfriend (recent). i mainly always go out to the same club so she knows where i'll be. and keeps telling me she's going there. i'm staying in this week to study then hopefully she won't go last week, and stupidly i can try and get some new girls at the local.

thats the story.
yeah i shouldn't care. and i do. but not that much.
i know i can get some new puss.. i know it may take some time. she does alot of **** that annoys me.. says every second thing i do is "cute" talks in stupid voices.. wears ****ty ugg boots etc.
so i don't see anything long term. but i do enjoy her company for the most part.

 

[quest]

also, reason i posted here was for a "what should i do" type thing..
i was thinking, don't make a deal about it, if she brings it up prob just say, its cool no worries.
i didn't reply to her texts ( i was in class )

 

[E-Z Rider]

Well it sounds like you're in pretty good shape, actually. Just keep a look out for a change in her personality towards you. That will happen a little while before a girl dumps you (which will generally only happen when she finds somebody new).

Just keep yourself from worrying about it, and in the meantime I'd suggest to start looking for other girls now, since the 2 you sorta have don't seem to do it for you too well.

So just be cool, and it should be fine. But stay aware.

-E-Z

 

[Dirtheart]

haha, don't take any notice. My guess is that it's an old trick to get you thinking or throw you offguard. Or maybe to make you think she has a life outside of your relationship.

I've done it myself, I've had it done to me. There's a VERY high probability she intended you to read that msg and it is clearly having the desired effect.

My suggestion is to make a joke of it. Send her a text going way over the top. I.e.

"I think about you all the time and I think I'm falling in love with you."

Then send another msg before she has chance to reply saying it was meant for Britney Spears (or another hot celeb).

 

[alakazam]

Hell, I'd break it off with her just b/c of the way she types. I know people like to abbreviate on text messages, but to me that kind of typing comes across as really juvenile and it's a turnoff.

Hell yeah brother. I can't stand that sort of short hand!

 

[Lola]

it sounds like shes playing games with you because she wants a relationship with you, no? so shes trying to make you jealous so that you decide you dont want her seeing anyone but her. i send loads of texts and never have sent them to the wrong person.

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Lola
it sounds like shes playing games with you because she wants a relationship with you, no? so shes trying to make you jealous so that you decide you dont want her seeing anyone but her. i send loads of texts and never have sent them to the wrong person.

I agree. Don't fall for this game dude. DO NOT even mention it to her. I guarantee you she'll bring it up to you by way of making a big point of apologizing for it again or asking you if you're mad about it. You should say: nah, of course i'm not mad -- don't worry about it!!!! We all have friends!!!

 

[NewMan]

WTF?

You don't want her - but you do?

Just ignore it and keep getting the puss until you find something you do want.

It's just mind games is my guess - and so what if she's seeing someone else. You don't want it.

 

[quest]

thanks guys.
bit of an update, haven't seen her since, but.
she's been continuing to message me.
went to the club i normally go to (after i said i wouldn't be there time and time again, and she kept begging me to go) she left at 11 and said it was boring.
(the last 2 weeks she'd gone there when i said i wasn't there, and caught me there )
i spoke to her on the phone a little last night (friday night) but didn't talk about too much.. i'll see her tonight though, get some sex, and if theres any updates, i'll let u know.