She says she wants space, How to make her chase you

[inthenight]

Hi guys,

I just found this forum looking around the net for dating advice. hoping you could help?
What is currently happening in my life at this moment is I was seeing this girl, I guess you could say we rushed into things a little too quick? I had known her for 3 weeks then asked her to be my girlfriend, Everything felt so right!! We spend almost everyday together after work, sleeping with each other etc it was great! we were both ever so happy. I had dinner with the family, they love me etc so I'm welcome there. She ended up getting cold feet and had a chat with me saying she still wants to see me but take it slow due to she doesnt know what she wants? Anyway she told me that she had applied for a job 10 hours away from where we live which to me was crazy, who dates a guy for 2 weeks then applies for a job that far away? She tells me how much she likes me and can never stop thinking about me, I dont know if this is all a front... So now I haven't seen her for around 5 days, I've said i'll give her space..So my plan is to make as less contact as possible with her hoping this will driver her crazy and finally work out what she's missing!

I don't know if im doing the right thing here, Would this be the way to make her chase me?

Any help would be great

Thank you!!

 

[hansol]

Dude, it's two weeks... It's not like you guys are married or have gone through a WW2 concentration camp together...

 

[inthenight]

You have to understand I'm 24 and this is my first gf, I've been "playing" for my whole life, found something I really liked and wanted it.

 

[Tiguere]

You have to understand I'm 24 and this is my first gf, I've been "playing" for my whole life, found something I really liked and wanted it.

your mistake is thinking the game ENDS when in reality the game never ends.

 

[Bluntmaster]

She says she "wants space"?

That means you are dumped. There is nothing you can do except move on. Do better next time.

 

[yuppaz]

Be so interesting and happy with your life aside from her that she'll want to be involved in it.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Doesn't necessarily mean you're dumped IMO. I've had it happen to me and then played it well and had her offering to buy me stuff a few days later!

What I did was basically ignored her, said all good, no hard feelings etc, said I think you're making a mistake but it's up to you. I then went out after work that night, she sent me some text asking if I was ok (egotistical ***** assumed I was in some sort of depression at the thought of losing her,) in reality I was out drinking and had left my phone at home so didn't reply. Get home at 2am to see her fb status as "can't sleep" she then deleted me from her facebook because she was worried i'd met someone else and couldn't stand it, within 3 days from that point she was saying how much she missed me etc.

That won't always be the case though obviously, totally depends on the girl in question. My advice is no contact with her, it's no fool proof way to win her back, that is totally dependent on her. But if she does like you then you will know about it, if she doesn't then it's a lost cause and nothing you can do will change that.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

who dates a guy for 2 weeks then applies for a job that far away?

Who would pass a golden opportunity (if it really was a golden opportunity) because of a 2 weeks commitment?

Come on, man!

 

[inthenight]

Doesn't necessarily mean you're dumped IMO. I've had it happen to me and then played it well and had her offering to buy me stuff a few days later!

What I did was basically ignored her, said all good, no hard feelings etc, said I think you're making a mistake but it's up to you. I then went out after work that night, she sent me some text asking if I was ok (egotistical ***** assumed I was in some sort of depression at the thought of losing her,) in reality I was out drinking and had left my phone at home so didn't reply. Get home at 2am to see her fb status as "can't sleep" she then deleted me from her facebook because she was worried i'd met someone else and couldn't stand it, within 3 days from that point she was saying how much she missed me etc.

That won't always be the case though obviously, totally depends on the girl in question. My advice is no contact with her, it's no fool proof way to win her back, that is totally dependent on her. But if she does like you then you will know about it, if she doesn't then it's a lost cause and nothing you can do will change that.

Thanks for the advice!! I'm not making any contact with her, I've been updating my facebook status with fun things i'll be doing in the week/over the weekend..I guess a big one is not to check her facebook to see whats going on, see how this goes. He family loves me, she says she is missing me..I think i'll give it a week or 2..see what happends.

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks for the advice!! I'm not making any contact with her, I've been updating my facebook status with fun things i'll be doing in the week/over the weekend..I guess a big one is not to check her facebook to see whats going on, see how this goes. He family loves me, she says she is missing me..I think i'll give it a week or 2..see what happends.

Good luck saving your 2-week "relationship"

....weirdo.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Thanks for the advice!! I'm not making any contact with her, I've been updating my facebook status with fun things i'll be doing in the week/over the weekend..I guess a big one is not to check her facebook to see whats going on, see how this goes. He family loves me, she says she is missing me..I think i'll give it a week or 2..see what happends.

To be honest though, I would just next her.

If this is what she was like after 2 weeks then it's only going to get worse in the future.

The girl I mentioned ended up doing the same thing just over a month later and we've now split up and have been for over a month.

She obviously doesn't know what she wants, I mean 2 weeks is nothing, should still very much be the honeymoon period where nothing goes wrong etc. Just seems like she's mixed up, which is similar to the girl I was with (she was contemplating moving away for job reasons as well.)

Just seems like a lot of hassle for a girl you've only known for a small period of time. Probably far easier to find someone else, rather than get back with her (which IMO you will do, if she says she misses you she'll be back,) and then watch it happen again a few months down the line when you start to actually fall for her, and believe me it's not pleasant when it happens.

I would still say no contact, if you REALLY want her back and she does say she wants to get back with you, then make her really work for it. Make it clear you don't tolerate this kind of crap, especially this early on. My mistake was letting her back in too easily, not enough of a challenge etc.

Girls like that really are not worth the time though tbh.

 

[inthenight]

To be honest though, I would just next her.

If this is what she was like after 2 weeks then it's only going to get worse in the future.

The girl I mentioned ended up doing the same thing just over a month later and we've now split up and have been for over a month.

She obviously doesn't know what she wants, I mean 2 weeks is nothing, should still very much be the honeymoon period where nothing goes wrong etc. Just seems like she's mixed up, which is similar to the girl I was with (she was contemplating moving away for job reasons as well.)

Just seems like a lot of hassle for a girl you've only known for a small period of time. Probably far easier to find someone else, rather than get back with her (which IMO you will do, if she says she misses you she'll be back,) and then watch it happen again a few months down the line when you start to actually fall for her, and believe me it's not pleasant when it happens.

I would still say no contact, if you REALLY want her back and she does say she wants to get back with you, then make her really work for it. Make it clear you don't tolerate this kind of crap, especially this early on. My mistake was letting her back in too easily, not enough of a challenge etc.

Girls like that really are not worth the time though tbh.

Yeah I know what you mean...If she does come running back and I do take her back I will be laying down the rules, no more games, if she wants me, I'll make her tell me she wants me..I'm still going to play the no contact, see where that gets me. might bring her back or it might drive her away..Either way, you cant make someone like you.