She says: "I dont want to date"

[napoleon]

What is your advice when a girl says that she isn't ready for a relationship but she is still going out with me, making out (no sex.......yet)
Does she want to be just **** buddies...? Or is it ********- I don't want to have a relationship with YOU? I'll ask her- what is her definition of a relationship or something, what does she mean by that. Or should I be quiet and treat her like any other girl (like she never mentioned anything).
I'm 22, she's 25 and she had 2 one-year relationships, and recently broke up with her bf of 3.5 years. Maybe now she's like Cindy Lauper? Girls just wanna have fun?


PS. Of course I'll go out with other girls so don't write that advice.

 

[napoleon]

Damn, I need to get my parents out of my house and quick...

Good thing she has her own car, but it's freezing outside. If only it were summer...

 

[Poll]

Damn, I need to get my parents out of my house and quick...
.

Try setting the house on fire, that usually works.

 

[Lust]

Try setting the house on fire, that usually works.

Great advice wise one.

I'm pretty sure she just wants some fun, so give her some fun.

Don't think too much on it, focus on gaming other women, she's more of a sideline girl that you have fun with, don't take her seriously, since she isn't taking this seriously.

 

[mrRuckus]

Don't worry about a relationship. Those just happen on their own.

Be awesome. Have sex with her. Girls get addicted and likely will try to lock you down as just her own especially if she knows you're seeing other girls. They try hard to keep sex separate from their emotions but they usually fail.

 

[Aaron B]

Actions, not words.

She has to accept your frame, instead of you accepting hers.

All this talking means nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. She can say anything and not be held accountable for it later. Who knows why she says what she says?

Focus on what you want and if she is willing to go along with your program, then great. If not, next.

When you have a clearly defined goal and make plans based on it, you have a much easier time dealing with the crap that comes out of her mouth.

 

[napoleon]

So I should treat her like any other chick?

 

[sexy_kuta]

So I should treat her like any other chick?

yess,
what is going on is, that she came out of a 3.5 year relationship so she is afraid of commitment, since the post break up must be harsh. but like these guys said. DONT listen to her words. instead follow her actions.. she LIKES you but doesnt LIKE you enough to lock you down. shes LIKES you ENOUGH to go OUT with you and make out.. so give it time but take it slow man.. dont see her everyday or every second day.. more like twice a week if u want.

she will relize that ur not such a bad guy and that she would like to hit it off you.. remember girls come back for more of what they like. if she ENJOYS talking and hanging out with u. shes gonna make u her own and make sure no one has it.
and for the relationship.. they just happen man. u can never call them. its like thye out of the blue.. u meet one girl through friends then u figured meh, we just be friends.. a month or two goes by and ur two dating.. so dont focus on the relationship... infact get that word out ur head because U dont know where this is going to lead. so just focus on yourself, ur life and most of all focus on Fun.. make everything enjoyable between the two of you.. and put some value in yourself u know. like make her think that ur more than normal guy.. you do more things.. u gotta show ur true colors.. like for an example.. if your caring guy, show that ****.. not directly to her but to ohter things.. take care of urself.. let her see the **** u eat, the healthy stuff and tell her that u got respect for ur body and u wouldnt like feeding urself junk.. and if ur like a sponutaous guy,. show that.. well i hope u get the idea if not just ask and i can explain it more with more deapth.

i dont usually write this long of a reply but i was once in ur shoes.

so bottom line is just relax. relax man, do your own thing.. it will fall into pieces slowly.. you cannot plan a relationship. u cant control the htings that gonna happen and not gonna happen. it doesnt work like that. so chill with her. BE YOURSELF! dont play games.. dont need to spark her interest level.. get the games out of the window. then things will follow

good luck man

 

[kdnash82]

Don't look at this as a bad thing. She just got out of a long relationship, so why would she want to hop into another one. Just say "Ok". You're not saying you want one and you're not saying you don't want one. Sit back, continue to do good things and enjoy the guilt free sex.

 

[Remulak]

Or is it ********- I don't want to have a relationship with YOU?

right on the money, thats the woman ese translation atleast

 

[sexy_kuta]

right on the money, thats the woman ese translation atleast

read my post. thats what she says but that isnt what she is doing

 

[Scought]

I had a similar thing this evening.

This girl I met and made out with on NYE......

We have stayed in touch and so we talked and she says:
Hey, I really want to hang out with you. It's just that I have gotten into weird things in the past when I haven't wanted to, and kind of lead people on, so me and my friend Lauren have decided to not hang out with guys 1-on-1. But I do want to hang out. We are going out on Saturday and it'd be great to see you."

So, I was like, OK, great, fantastic. So, if she calls and I am not busy I might meet up with her.

Translation of what she says is that she has had some needy guys taht think they are more than what they are. Meaning, the guys must have made more of it than was there.

So, if I do meet up with her and her friend, I will still be out and about and wil be able to meet other girls and have fun. It's a cool situation. And I didn't take it personally at all. If she didn't want to hang out, she wouldn't call.