She said that she has slept with 2 guys since ... DID I OVER REACT?

[julez]

I'm coming to you guys on this forum for support & to know if I over reacted.

I was seeing this younger (23) model/stripper type chick for almost 2 years. I'm 30. She has and continues to go through problems with family, friends, work that cause her to act very immature at times.

I basically got her by being there for her as a trusting, caring and confident friend she could talk to and see anytime; until last month when I got tired of her constantly being miserable, and rude comments she would make whenever I didn't argue back with her. She is one of those Capricorn woman who loves attention/drama by making men lose emotional control. I refused to stop to that level and always try to stay President Obama calm, cool & collected until I blew up last week when she told me that she has slept with 2 other guys out of anger towards me since I distanced myself from her last month.

At first I calmly responded that I was disappointed in her because I thought she had a better character than that & I now see her as just another dirty Ho who doesn't have any class, respect or love for herself. I LOST CONTROL when she said that she still wants me as her friend to talk to, hang out, and celebrate her upcoming Bday. I told she that she must be out of her ****in mind if she thinks that I would be there for her, while she finds my replacement. :cuss:

She then started crying saying that she didn't sleep with anyone else and that she just wanted to get a reaction out of me. I then told her not to call, text, email, or even think about me because I don't need "friends" like her who enjoy trying to hurt me by saying vengeful things, especially when I have always been there for them. I love myself & deserve better than that :nono:

She didn't want to leave my car even after I started calling her every name in the book to get her to leave. She actually appeared to be into it. Eventually I opened her door and forced her out by pushing her.

I am very disappointed in myself for reacting like that. I realize that I may have lost everything in that moment. however, there was only so much game playing & constant testing I could endure. Even if she didn't have sex with no one else. The fact that she could say something like that makes me question her character big time.

I only received a text message from her that saying that I was wrong for losing control & crossing the line with her. She then wished me good luck with myself. I haven't heard from her since.

Did I over react? What I should do now? Should I initate total NO CONTACT to move on? Should I answer her calls & talk to her like nothing happened, or just treat her as another booty call.

 

[J. Darko]

Well, women are like that. You can't blame her for being a woman. I understand you didn't like it though, but I would laugh and walk away. And the sad truth is you didn't have a relationship with her, so she can sleep with as many guys as she wants. Just forget it. Live and learn, I wish you all the best.

 

[Blaise]

I don't know how close you two were since Idk either of you, but I remember my ex (who used to be my best friend before we got together) whom I said at the verge of breaking up, "I don't even care if you cheated on me a 1000 times", told me she cheated on me on her birthday with her ex, I was just really calm about it and said you know what I can't trust you to even be my friend, I would never do that and hurt you. And we haven't contacted each other since then.

When my other best friend (who I soon became infatuated) cheated on her bf, I was so upset big time BIG LOL. Because this was someone I thought was different but it just showed to me that other than my mom, mother theresa, and a fingerful of women in the world, they are all human like us.

Was I wrong to be upset the way I did when I found out she cheated, YES.

Now I know I might be going off topic, but I know now, NEVER BECOME BEST FRIENDS WITH A GIRL lol. Anyway, she's left me because she thought it was for the best of us and we need to grow for ourselves (which I think also). But I still miss her badly (my only close friend).

Anyway, I feel like to come to a point where you're not upset and let it go, means you really love yourself enough to let something like that go and move on.

No one should make you feel that way, and you should never let anyone make you feel that way at the same time. It's difficult, but I'm striving for that.

 

[horaholic]

She then started crying saying that she didn't sleep with anyone else and that she just wanted to get a reaction out of me.

You dont believe this, do you?

But all in all, women need emotional roller coaster rides. Its good to let some steam off on them sometimes. Its good for both of you, it builds attractions, and it reassures her that you have feelings. The opposite of love, isnt hate. It's indifference. If you dont overreact once in a while, she will think you dont care about her, and it will start a downward spiral. I know it doesnt make sense, but I have dated a capricorn as well. She was bipolar, and would FREAK out on stuff. She had the same issues as yours. She would try to get me to lose it just to see if I cared enough about her to fight back.

They need to vent. A good shouting battle releases tension. Some women need that. I worry if a girl doesnt scream once in a while. My last gf was like that. She would keep it all inside, and close herself off, rather than yell at me, and eventually let it go, and get over it. It got to the point where she would break up with me at the slightest thing. Its so much better to just fight about it, then move on.

 

[n00bPimp]

You said it yourse;f, shes a pain in the ass. so why do you still want her in your life? you already banged her didnt you?

 

[julez]

Wow, I'm so glad that I posted my concerns on this forum. Thanks for the responses & being straight up. Yes I agree that this girl had become my best friend. We did everything together, including 3somes. It took me alot of work and time to get her to that point. I think that that I made mistake of putting in too much in the beginning & she got used to that attention from me. I believe that she did indeed sleep with the other guys despite what she said after she saw my disappointment and loss of respect for her. I slept with someone this weekend & it kinda backfired because of the lack of chemistry & found it to be very mechanical. YES I agree with moving on & I reallly hope to have something that exciting again. however I am really having a hard time right now without her,but I do feel somewhat relieved knowing what she did & letting her know that she is no longery friend. I'm sure that in time she will miss me & what we had but I really hope to have moved on by then. Any advice on how I should handle any contact from her in the mean time?

 

[AMDG]

Did I over react? What I should do now? Should I initate total NO CONTACT to move on? Should I answer her calls & talk to her like nothing happened, or just treat her as another booty call.

In order - Yes, nothing, Of course - she moved on already, Nope - it's pointless.

In a similar situation, when she was in my car and told me she wanted to have many "friends" ( after making out ), I drove her home and when she tried to kiss me I said no thanks - she ended up kissing my palm because I raised my hand. That was years ago - funny memories. It's pointless to concentrate your efforts on one woman - because some will crave you and others will ignore you and you cannot control all factors.

 

[Captain]

This relationship is over. DO NOT get back together. She is not relationship material. She is either a drama queen who treats you like crap and a liar, or a cheater. Neither is relationship material. Booty call if you want, just keep yourself fairly distant so she doesn't try to drag you into her ****. If she does, walk off.