she said she wants to be FRIENDS

[Avsguy01]

Dude your just going to have to hold your horses!! You went way too fast!! You need to back off, and put her to a friend level. Go out and start meeting another woman and then itll naturally attract the girl you want back. You have to take things slow romantically. It's the sexual aspect that can occur quickly.

 

[squirrels]

Stop throwing this kid bits and pieces of advice. It's obvious he's in need of remedial help.

And yes, I'm calling him a "kid" despite the fact that he's 5 years older than me. He certainly isn't a MAN.

Frenchlover, check out this http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Read up.

As for this particular girl...you f**ked up. Stop worrying about how to "salvage" it because you can't. The "friend zone" is like quicksand and the harder you struggle, the quicker you get sucked down into it.

You weren't ready for this girl. As a result, you blew it. It's happened to all of us...I KNOW it's happened to me.

So what can you do about it? When the NEXT girl comes along...BE READY! http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I just think it's a sad state of affairs when a single mother can think she can act like this.

FL - get yourself a single, childless woman and then flaunt it in this b*tch's face every chance you can so that she can see how much she missed out on an awesome opportunity.

 

[Double J]

Oneitis with a woman w/ kids. Not good. Move on - meeting more women will take your mind off of her.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Seriously, this just makes me sick. A couple years ago, I remember my friend getting the run around and being played mind games by a woman who had 4 KIDS!!!!!

It was pathetic to watch, especially at Christmas time when he bought her a $300 gift basket.

 

[Slash]

The Outer Game and actions

Dont completely ingore her but let her miss you.. People dont fall in love in your presence they do it by themselves.. like you did with your virtual movie...

If she gets to know that you chickend out or she got on your nerves then thats it... its over...

Keep busy.... she has to know your world doesnt revolve around her... shes gonna have to try harder to get in....thats how they have been made... they enrich our lives...

Keep your cell off for a couple of days call back only ppl who you think are important.. real friends.. disconnected from her.. and dont call back unknown numbers...Keep convos short and intresting.. cut all interactions first..end with 'we'll talk later' enthusiastically and not 'Ill call you later' ,You cant get laid on the Phone..

A transcript from my actual call ,use it as you want...as this was planned...(after 10 days of cutting her off...)

Me: Hello? (Ive seen her name on the screen)
Her: Hi!! (a very enthusiastic one)
Me: Whos This???
Her: what forgot about me so soon...
Me: Hey Hi!! Wazzup??
Her: Blah blah blah
Her: I just thought Id call up and say Hi and see how youre doing.
Me: oh cool ...blah blah blah....what abt you
Her: blah blah blah
Me: hey guess what Im in a hurry well talk later ....
Her:Ok....
Me: catch you later..(I dint say bye.. I dont)
Her: Byeee!!
Total Mins of Convo around 3 mins

She calls back after 2 days.... she thought Ill call her... dumb *****...and now its Time for Dog training...

*ring*
Me:What are you wearing? (being a total jerk, C&F ina deep sexy commanding bedroom voice)
Her: what!!!?? (like a lil alarmed)
Me:Wrong Answer Bye *click*

The point was to put me out as a sexual Guy.. at the same time funny and ****y... **** teaser...

Calls back in an Instant... shes hooked somewhere atleast from its entertainment or stimulus pov

Her: what was that???
Me: well I dont talk to girls who are badly dressed... though nothing is great...something nice should be fine..like maybe black lingerie...(put your fetish here) so what is it?
Her: pyjamas and Tshirt
Me: 2 bad... Ill call you at 10 or something (6 hours later, see i dint say the exact time) put on something nice... I g2g Cya

Always call a lil late... or helll I wasnt in the mood but I wanted the result of the experiment...

Me:Hope youre looking great...
Her: *******... (Im in,that is just what I wanted.. to be seen as a jerk)
Me:hahaha so how r u feeling...
her: shut up... (she knows Im the one on command now)

(Women are submissive by nature. and get off on it... they need the validation of the most dominant man in their picture..You didnt demonstrate the dominance and sexuality so the LJBF)

I teased her to death.... this was phone stuff to get her hot and bothered...
Note:-- She tested me to death for congruency... I came true...
well she had to.... and it was only possible because I had other girls and couldnt careless if she stayed or not... so I was prepared to have fun.... and live in the moment and enjoy each step of the process. (The bad part is it has turned into an LDR and I dont intend to waste anymore money... I dont call her she calls me.. and thats how it will be..things below is from an experience with another girl who went through things almost identical to above)

Dont explain yourself.. Dont talk about the past or the future stay in the present.... if she dint get you yesterday... dont explain what happened yesterday.. youre a man you have your own reasons she dont have the right to know that info as yet...Make her work or she wont appreciate it.... Its better to piss her off than to bore her.. as shes gonna have to use her emotions a lot.. if shes mad.. dun worry she will love the drama if you do it right.. Use a lot of ambiguity..

If she bumps into you..after this.. Its stage 2: Flirt with her like hell... Keep youre language neutral calm slow casual and deep, and bodylanguage sexual... if she gets hot you didnt do anything its her freaking dirty mind use as much kino,skincontact as possible.. bust on her.. tease her.. start putting out your expectations and how she isnt meeting them... dont compare them to anyone its a *turnoff* just put out your expectations.. so she has a direction to work on.... which is very important... and very important... end the interaction first... she cant have you fully unless she is really willing to give what it needs to keep you.... remember *dogtraining....* respond favourably to things where its going in the direction you want... and reward her a lil, if she does something against your plan stay where you are untill she does the right thing... lead her and have fun.. make sure you have fun... Subcommunicate.... and escalate...I love it... I say subcommunicate coz it makes things seem like its the girls idea and that you understand her code which is a turn on for anyone.. If you do things right she should be a screaming Banshee in your bed.. remember to keep this attitude on for ever.. if you fall back into the old patterns she will go cold like your d*ck in liquid nitrogen..yep in a flash... You will be tested every step of the way...

Have Fun!!

Ps: I love women but they are just a different game...

 

[frenchlover]

she didn't call today so far....so i know she'll call tomorrow....when she does, I will answer the phone, say I'm in a meeting, and then not call her back...she is on her way out of town with her kids to visit family so I"ll see what happens next week when she returns (i'm sure she'll call again).
I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for the advice. Some of you are funny as hell and I couldn't agree with you more.

 

[squirrels]

Let me make this a little clearer for you:

MOVE ON.

 

[frenchlover]

thanks for the sensitive advice squirrels. I"m not giving up. I've had lots of girlfriends for the mere reason of persistence. I"ll give it some time and a few shots/strategies. After all I have nothing to lose. In the meantime of course I"ll be open to other chicks!

 

[frenchlover]

god dammit! After I hung with her and her kids 3 times now, AND sent her roses, she says that she only wants to be friends! WTF! I need help guys because I REALLY want this one! Keep in mind, she hasn't been with anyone in 3 years because of her kids ( I really do believe her)
she is also a great catch. beautiful, smart, successful, funny, sensitive-the PERFECT woman!
at the same time, she also "let's" me have my hand on her leg while we're driving, let's me rub her feet, etc.
what's going on? don't say that she just want's a babysitter. this woman has a nanny for the kids.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

*Jams pen into eyeball*

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Dude, a couple of things.

#1: You already posted this in Discussion.

#2: The Mature Man forum is for people who are mature.

#3: You are an idiot. You are obssessed with this woman who apparently doesn't reciprocate and who just wants to be friends. You have one-itis over this girl after being around her three times, sending her roses and "getting to" touch her leg and rub her feet.

READ THE GOTDAMNED DJ BIBLE! IT'S AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE!

I will leave this thread open for a little while longer, so you can get the verbal abuse you richly deserve. Then I will close this worthless thread.

 

[Squid]

It should be pretty obvious that her interest level is just not there nomatter how much you want it to be. Time to move on and read the bible. If she changes her mind you'll hear from her again, if not, then forget about it. This may sound harsh but it's the truth, I know it and you know it too.

If you prolong this chase you will just be wasting your time following her around like a lost puppy.

 

[penkitten]

woman says "i just want to be friends" = " i am never going to sleep with you. ever. really."

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by frenchlover
thanks for the sensitive advice squirrels. I"m not giving up. I've had lots of girlfriends for the mere reason of persistence. I"ll give it some time and a few shots/strategies. After all I have nothing to lose. In the meantime of course I"ll be open to other chicks!

You still think a "couple strategies" are going to fix this?

Like I said before, just because you know what tool is used to drive a nail doesn't make you a master carpenter.

She has deemed you unfit to be her lover, much less a father to her children. You CANNOT change this impression without making some fundamental changes in your attitude and the way you see yourself.

Suppose you get your "step-by-step" advice, you do all this posturing, and she thinks, "Well, maybe I'll give him another shot." THEN WHAT? Are you going to carry around a wi-fi laptop and consult SoSuave for every question she asks you? The proper response for everything she does?

You want to be persistent and see where it gets you, then fine. If you think you've "got it", then by all means go for it. But then don't come back here in 2-3 weeks and be like:

"Hey, I need help...remember this thread? http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=63325 "

I could be dead-wrong, but I dont' think you're being "persistent." I think you're too needy to walk away and are using persistence as an excuse.

And no offense, but if you want "sensitive" advice, go ask your mother. That's not what we're here for.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It never ceases to amaze me when I encounter AFCs over the age of 30. If you are still single/nevermarried at 30-35 you are in one of the most enviable positions in all of male-dom. How can you not recognize this advantage? It blows me away when I hear 45 year old stockbrokers in the gym locker room whining like little girls about how a chick just wants to be 'friends' with them after coming off as a complete AFC with them.

WTF are you doing wasting your valuable time with a single mother of 3! There are multitudes of women looking for a 30+ man with some means and maturity.

Go read the DJ Bible.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by frenchlover
god dammit! After I hung with her and her kids 3 times now, AND sent her roses, she says that she only wants to be friends! WTF! I need help guys because I REALLY want this one! Keep in mind, she hasn't been with anyone in 3 years because of her kids ( I really do believe her)
she is also a great catch. beautiful, smart, successful, funny, sensitive-the PERFECT woman!
at the same time, she also "let's" me have my hand on her leg while we're driving, let's me rub her feet, etc.
what's going on? don't say that she just want's a babysitter. this woman has a nanny for the kids.

Man you are playing the role of the chump here. You really have to do some more reading at this site and apply the things you learn.

What's going on here is she was initially interested in you but the flowers, the foot-rubs, the fact that you think she's PERFECT, etc. has driven her interest level down. Just from reading your short little post I can tell that you way too into this woman. You are trying too hard. You aren't being a challenge at all.

Women prefer to chase not be chased.

The ironic thing of it all is that you are probably a great guy. Not too many guys want to deal with a woman if she already has kids.
Its even more comical that you think she's perfect. C'mon man. Wouldn't you prefer a woman without kids? Do you really want to be the father figure and do some other guys job for him? You want to pay for some other guys mistakes?

Stop smothering this woman and start being more of a challenge. It may be too late though. As Penkitten said, "I just want to be friends" is bad news for you.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Merged with the thread in Discussion and moved back there.

 

[Desdinova]

don't say that she just want's a babysitter. this woman has a nanny for the kids.

Maybe you should go for the nanny. You haven't sent her flowers yet, have you?

I"ll give it some time and a few shots/strategies. After all I have nothing to lose.

You're wasting time. Time that could be better spent on the nanny or some other chick.

 

[NewMan]

Dumb.

You get advice then post the same thing in another forum?

When will you learn.

A B#tch doesn't want a chump who buys her flowers after meeting her for 3 dates.

Read the bible before posting again.