She said "I had sex with Bill because I loved him"

[Mustache]

She just gave you a 'get some pvssy for free' card. I think the best revenge would be implying that you might even the score, and she will torture herself with the anticipation of payback.

Hi master

She knew Bill from 95 to 97
She told me that pharse in 2001
I was trying not to believe that she had not had something with Bill, but after
2001 I became mad

In 2004 I started on revange, fcked lots of girls across the country
I had never cheated on before
In the end of 2006 I catched myself in a huge remorse crisis
Oh my God, what I am doing ?
I started to considered that she had never really cheated on my
This year I am in therapy
Very hard times

Mustache

 

[Mustache]

What exactly happened after she said that to you? Did she elaborate? Did you ask her what the hell she meant by that? Need more input.

Woods

After that day I was absent from home about 2 days
When I got back, we did not talk about that anymore

 

[woods]

So this happened about 5 years ago, and you never talked about it? I dont know what to tell you. 5 years is enough time for her to think of a good story for saying that. If she never even tried to retract that statement, I'd say it's 100% that she really did it.
In my more chump days My girlfriend used to say things like "why do think Ive been going on dates?", then after I blew my top, she'd retract it saying she only said that to hurt me. And stupid ass me, would let it go. I fell for that shYt till the day I had to go to court against her "stalker" who broke down my door and tried to kill me.
Why dont you get ahold of Mr. Bill, and ask him to be honest about what happened. He has no reason to lie.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Or just forget it all and try to start fresh. She cheated; you cheated; consider the score even. Live tomorrow like none of this ever happened.

 

[Mustache]

So this happened about 5 years ago, and you never talked about it? I dont know what to tell you. 5 years is enough time for her to think of a good story for saying that. If she never even tried to retract that statement, I'd say it's 100% that she really did it.
In my more chump days My girlfriend used to say things like "why do think Ive been going on dates?", then after I blew my top, she'd retract it saying she only said that to hurt me. And stupid ass me, would let it go. I fell for that shYt till the day I had to go to court against her "stalker" who broke down my door and tried to kill me.
Why dont you get ahold of Mr. Bill, and ask him to be honest about what happened. He has no reason to lie.

I got it
You mean that no one would say such I thing without retracting
aftwards, unless it had been true
Or would she dare to believe that I didnt take that as true ?

About Bill ?
I never thought about asking him. Maybe he would deny because
he might be afraid. He is married and could and I would certainly would tell her wife out of revenge

 

[Raikojo17]

Gherard



Since we are married she had never been I woman very interest in sex
She used to tell me that sex for her was in last place in her life
That's why I cant believe it
But the doubt is killing me all the way

Mustache

yea, sex with U was the last thing on her mind and her life, but sex with that bill jerk wasnt.

i would get rid of her, she obviously has no respect for u if she would tell you in ur face that she "loves" another man.
i mean, this is ur wife, she supposed to love u and only u.
get rid of her.

 

[itishe]

Get rid of her. This is even pissing me off reading about your problem.

 

[Mustache]

Or just forget it all and try to start fresh. She cheated; you cheated; consider the score even. Live tomorrow like none of this ever happened.

Master

My therapist is helping to do what you say, but:
I am trappred

If I think that she might have not cheated on my. I become full of remorse

But when I consider that she might have cheated, then I cannot forgive her
even that I cheated on her

I fcked a married woman, I fcked lots of hookers, only out for revenge. Now I feel like trash because its not from my nature
to cheat on a husband

I feel inside of me that she is the guilty one for all the situation

Mustache

 

[itishe]

Sounds like you're going to be pissed off either way. You lose either way so why not find a new way... with a new woman?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am flattered, but stop calling me 'master,' lol.

When you forgive someone else, it is yourself that you set free.

 

[woods]

I got it
You mean that no one would say such I thing without retracting
aftwards, unless it had been true
Or would she dare to believe that I didnt take that as true ?

About Bill ?
I never thought about asking him. Maybe he would deny because
he might be afraid. He is married and could and I would certainly would tell her wife out of revenge

There is no way she wouldt have retractd unless it's true. Period.
She would have said otherwise. Period.

As for Mr. Bill, if you talk to him man to man, cool-like, he would probably tell you. If you dont talk to him as a dikk, and you'll beat his ass, he will tell you. You can always blackmail him into telling you the truth, or you tell his wife what you thnk. If you're cool to him and approach it like " I just want to know the truth, nothing against you, and I will never call again if you tell me" he will probably tell you. And afterwords, tell him if you think he's bullshyting you, you will tell his wife. He'll have nothing to lose. I would.

 

[woods]

She cheated first and admitted it. Dont think for a minute that she didnt. Revenge is not o.k., but I dont blame you for to seeking it. you need to get the facts, get your wife to admit it, then see a counceller together, if you want to salvage this.
Even if she didnt cheat, she led you to believe she did, which is just as bad, cuz it hurt you the same way. Too bad you were too pussie to front her on it in the first place. You need to be honest with each other

 

[Last Man Standing]

Did she hor with Bill after you two were already married??? Or before???

 

[Babnik]

Man, she definitely cheated on you. Their friendship was fvckship and I don't see the point why you are still together. I don't see the point of why people get married either... its unnatural.

 

[Mustache]

She cheated first and admitted it. Dont think for a minute that she didnt. Revenge is not o.k., but I dont blame you for to seeking it. you need to get the facts, get your wife to admit it, then see a counceller together, if you want to salvage this.
Even if she didnt cheat, she led you to believe she did, which is just as bad, cuz it hurt you the same way. Too bad you were too pussie to front her on it in the first place. You need to be honest with each other

I felt trapped because:

1- If she in fact cheated, I had no remorse, but still lots of anger

2- As I cheated in revenge and now I consider the possibility
that she might not have cheated, I become very remorseful

And it would hurt me to let her go

Maybe my way out is your phrase above:

"Even if she didnt cheat, she led you to believe she did, which is just as bad, cuz it hurt you the same way"

So I could try not to feel guilty,because she failed anyway

Do you, mr. Woods or another guy agree ?

 

[fedagent]

1- If she in fact cheated, I had no remorse, but still lots of anger

2- As I cheated in revenge and now I consider the possibility
that she might not have cheated, I become very remorseful

Mustache,

Let me break this down for you into what matters and what doesn't....

1) It doesn't matter whether she cheated or not, she let you believe she did, and she hasn't even apologized.

2) It doesn't matter if you got revenge, you were hurt and you took action to protect your self-respect. It may not have had the intended effect on your emotions, but she deserved it whether she really did "cheat" or not.

3) It doesn't matter whether you still love her, or she still loves you even.

4) It doesn't even matter if you haven't talked about it since, or if she even finds out that you got revenge.

5) It doesn't matter what Bill is doing now or in the future, if he's married or not, if he talks with your wife anymore.


The only thing that matters right now is if you think you deserve better......Do you deserve a better woman than one who would make you think such a thing for 5 years?

Do you? Then take the appropriate action.

Fed

 

[Mustache]

Mustache,

Let me break this down for you into what matters and what doesn't....

1) It doesn't matter whether she cheated or not, she let you believe she did, and she hasn't even apologized.

2) It doesn't matter if you got revenge, you were hurt and you took action to protect your self-respect. It may not have had the intended effect on your emotions, but she deserved it whether she really did "cheat" or not.


Thank you Fed

You guys are great conselours
Maybe my problem is a great feeling of guilty
The problem is that my therapist does no comprehend the reasons
why I got revange. But you guys find out: "to protect your self-respect"

I want to accept that there's was nothing else I could do
Because I was very week to let her go, I love her
So I end up by cheating on her to become even
I think few people would comprehend me

I told my therapist that would never cheat on her if she would be faithful. But he does not believe me

Mustache

 

[fedagent]

Originally Posted by Mustache
Maybe my problem is a great feeling of guilty
The problem is that my therapist does no comprehend the reasons
why I got revange. But you guys find out: "to protect your self-respect"

I want to accept that there's was nothing else I could do
Because I was very week to let her go, I love her
So I end up by cheating on her to become even
I think few people would comprehend me

I told my therapist that would never cheat on her if she would be faithful. But he does not believe me

Always glad to help Mustache,

On another note.....it's important that you do not let someone's lack of understanding of how you feel determine whether you are wrong or not.

You went to him undoubtedly to deal with your guilt. It's important to know that having a degree in Psychiatry doesn't give one a monopoly into understanding how people think and work. His word is not gospel.

The only thing sacred here is what you want out of life and what you feel you deserve. Regardless of someone else's understanding.

He may be right about one thing though, you will never feel "even" if you haven't discussed this with her...and thus you may feel compelled to continue with sleeping around.

Fed

 

[Mustache]

Always glad to help Mustache,

On another note.....it's important that you do not let someone's lack of understanding of how you feel determine whether you are wrong or not.

He may be right about one thing though, you will never feel "even" if you haven't discussed this with her...and thus you may feel compelled to continue with sleeping around.

Fed

Yes. He suggested that deep inside I was a jerk and always wanted to fck
another women and my wifes supposed cheating was just an excuse
to justify my acts

Of course I had wish to fck another women, but I knew it would not worth
And deep inside I know I would never cheat on her

About never feeling even, maybe you are right because I feel not even
I feel always in disadvantage

Mustache

 

[dipset]

sad story