jophil28 said:
That means that they still have indirect control over your emotions, and your "no shyte" behavior is being shaped and triggered by your lingering anger and resentment.
Jamo said:
Overdoing it and going to the other extreme by being an azzhole is not going to help either
Although both your criticisms are correct, I am strongly convinced that this
IS the right way to go, nevertheless. In order to achieve balance in anything, one goes through a constant process of alternating between two opposites, learning to move less far along the spectrum (and straying closer to the middle) with each alternation. Someone learning to walk a tightrope will feel his weight shifting to the right and then clumsily shift it all the way to the left, in order not to fall off. But shifting it all the way to the left, he almost falls off again, so he shifts it to the right again but less far than the last time. And so forth and so forth... Through training, he learns to move less far to each side at the moment of alternating, until finally, he finds a perfect balance in the middle, where his body moves right nor left but just stays in balance.
Same thing goes for any 'skill' a person wants to master, whether it is a physical or mental skill. Guys who have a tendency to supplicate and let women control them, will have to shift to the other extreme (treat them like wh0res and not giving a damn about them) and back again etc. Through constantly shifting between the two, he'll gradually move away from the extremes in attitude and behaviour (total supplication vs. total disrespect) and starts getting closer to the middle ground between the two with each shift.
Think of an old fashioned balance scale at the butcher's shop, with two big pieces of meat on each side. The scale tips to one side, so you cut off some meat there. Now it tips to the other side so you cut off some meat there etc. etc. You start off with cutting big pieces from the meat but as the scale is getting more balanced and you try to fine-tune it towards perfect balance, you'll start to cut off ever smaller pieces. It's a constant process where the scale shifts from one side to the other, back and forth, the difference becoming smaller with each shift.
At the start, when one side greatly tips over compared to the other, it is not possible to cut off exactly the right amount of meat on that side in one attempt. You have to alternate between the two sides before reaching the middle ground.
Just like that, I do not believe an 'AFC'/'nice guy'/'white knight' can make some sort of
direct step towards being a DJ. He'll have to go
AT LEAST THROUGH ONE phase of being a total jerk/not giving a damn about women, before he can reach the middle ground and be a DJ.