She loves me already?!

[El Campeon 56]

Right now I am currently involved in a 4 month long LTR and things couldn't be going any better. She is totally crazed over me and pretty much would obey my beck and call and is nuts about the relationship. Previously there was an issue in our relationship and i thought that i needed to end things with her about 2 months ago, and in the heat of things she told me she loved me. I decided to stay with her as i really value what we have going. Her saying I love you was a really huge step and one that took me quite a while to react to. A few weeks later i eventually said it back to her after she said it multiple times, cause honestly i think i feel that. Yet I have done my absolute best to not say those words to her as much as i could, unless she initiates it and then presses when I am reluctant. Which unfortunately for me she is trying to do almost everynight we talk or see each other. My problem is, i can't just give her a ****y one liner like, "I know you do" or "who wouldn't?" because she gets all quiet and sad like and its bothersome to me in this area cause i bust on her all the time in other areas of our relationship. So guys, give me a little advice, how would you handle this if your woman of four months was doing this to you on a consistent basis and you didn't want to hurt her?

 

[RKTek]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Do NOT get all teary-eyed and demonstrative.

Here you are being all stoic and sh*t, and it drives her crazy with desire. Why tamper with success? Let her say the L word until her teeth fall out, with you only grudgingly saying it. Obviously she's turned on by your taciturn attitude, so stay with what works.

If she pouts and makes a scene, give her a peck on the cheek, a pat on the butt and say "I love you too, cupcake" or whatever other minimal thing it takes to get her on track again.

Stay a step or two behind or below her in emotions. Remain cool.

 

[El Campeon 56]

Thanks RKTek for your advice. But the rest of you, surely you must have some opinion of how a DJ handles this situation?

 

[J-Man]

ok. its been too long, and i still havent figured it out. i just have to ask it:

WTF is an LTR?

 

[Slickster]

She says, "I love you"

You say, "That's great"

 

[Shiftkey]

LTR=Long Term Relationship

 

[Quick]

I've got to agree with RKTek. Say it occasionally, but don't change what works for you. One of the reasons she's so into you is that she can't control you. Don't start saying it all the time until you really feel like it. Give her something to look forward to.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Actions speak louder than words. If she says she loves you, give her a romantic kiss or a strong hug. Don't do this all the time mind you. Just occasionally. Maybe she is afraid of losing you.

This little trick has worked for me. And keep giving it up reluctantly. Don't make those words become meaningless.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by El Campeon 56
how would you handle this if your woman of four months was doing this to you on a consistent basis and you didn't want to hurt her?

Ok for starters her claims of "love" are not the same as what you think "love" means.
you know this chick for 4 months and she puts this sh!t on?

*sings* whats love got to do, got to do with it?

EDIT: i also agree with this guy underneath me, i thought RKTeks response should have made it clear.
hmmm you waiting for that one post where the guys says "just tell her you love her?"

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

dur...

Why isn't only RKTek's advice good enough? Why do you feel the need for more answers? I don't get it. He gave some hardcore sound advice.

I dunno. Whatever.

I'm gonna go try to find some drinking and partying.

Good luck with the chick, dude. And continue playing it cool


-- Zero-

 

[FBGangsta]

Or you could always follow Eric's example (that 70s show)

After she says I love you, you say: "I love........cake" or "I love you........man!"

lmao

 

[El Campeon 56]

Lol yeah i see where you all are coming from and those are all good responses. But Im definitely going to have to do as FB Gangsta suggested and give her the old 70s show routine. I'm sure that will bring out a heartfelt moment we will remember in the years to come If I'm lucky she might go bring me some cake afterwards though, no? Good work on more solid advice guys.

 

[Yes I am Flighty]

Originally posted by RKTek
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Do NOT get all teary-eyed and demonstrative.

Here you are being all stoic and sh*t, and it drives her crazy with desire. Why tamper with success? Let her say the L word until her teeth fall out, with you only grudgingly saying it. Obviously she's turned on by your taciturn attitude, so stay with what works.

Stay a step or two behind or below her in emotions. Remain cool.

YECK, ok so girls cant decipher between being emotional and really feeling something sometime (most of the time), its true, I KNOW. But look shes craving your acceptance, and if you only grudingly give it to her, shes going to feel unwanted. And while yeah shell stick around for awhile cause its sort of a chase, in the end shell let you go. Youre depressing her you know, youd be killing her self esteem if you dont show you care. but youd kill her self esteem even more if you say you care when you dont. The best thing is to just be real. And if you want to keep her but not say love, explanations do wonders. Say something like : Listen hunni, I know you love me and that means a lot to me but I dont say things like that so fast because when I say them I want them to be perfect and special. And you deserve all that truth and If I say something like that I want it to be so meaningful for you. Not just words you know? I care for you too much to just say words... Something like that compliments her and you get out of saying something that you dont mean, just be tactful. Be real, girls can sense when youre not. Unless youre trying to keep her feeling below you and not as a long term thing, I think explanation and conversation is the best way to go. Just dont lead it to an argument, its a fine line, and its a risk, but if you say what you mean tactfully then shell understand if shes worth it.

 

[El Campeon 56]

Whoah whoah whoah. Ok I am Flighty you have just propsed a totally different outlook on the situation. And although i find your perspective a little unique and different I'm not quite sure that I agree with the 180 turn you made from what myself and the other fellow Djs have said. So as i understand it you think that i should seriously handle the situation and the next time she says i Love you over the phone or at the end of the night out, tell her that I am not ready to say it until i am 100 percent sure that I can mean it? As far as i have picked up from my own inner voice and the other people here is that i should play with her about it and keep her coming back for more. I guess I can see where you are coming from, but that point about girls knowing what they feel emotionally just hits way off the mark in my opinion. So fellow DJs, lend some more clarity in your opinions. Was the situation handled better before or has FLighty opened a new point and may she grow tired of the game?

 

[Yes I am Flighty]

Well I just thought maybe youd like to know a girls opinion on your problem.... sorry if its all wrong, but thats what Id rather hear, those would be words you put together yourself, and thats infinitely better than the formulaic phrase, i love you, and maybe youre not saying i love you, but youre showing responsibility towards her feelings which girls really dig