She lost interest after I talked about my boundaries

[Divorced w 3]

I didn’t speak to this one woman for like three years. We hooked up once and were phone buddies for like 100 days. It was in the thick of the divorce and she was an amazing outlet, became some sort of friend, I have no idea what you’d call it. We would speak but we wouldn’t get together.

There were two things she wanted that I couldn’t do for her: I would not make the kids disappear (and she never asked but it was just an issue) and I would not stop being attractive and so seeing me was too much for her to bare. So we didn’t hang out.

I got super super hung up on her. So hung up that I started doing really crazy things. I started lying about things to manufacture reasons to maybe see her and I realized I was going bananas. The fact that she gave me a lot of grace as well as intermittent wrote me back made it worse. Then she went into no contact.

I found the rational male via a blog and rational male lead me here. This place got my head on straight.

I reached out to this woman a couple months ago. We texted but, the texts were short, they were low interest, and I still realized I had feelings and thought about this woman. I stopped obviously.

there are just some women that are going to hang on your mind. It’s the phenomenon of anchoring. If I met her at a different time not so emotionally vulnerable then I doubt I would feel this way. But it’s not healthy it’s super unhealthy.

thank this woman in your head for whatever she did for you, I suppose probably gave you a big emotional boost, and then let her go. It’s not going to happen. Do not let it get into stalker territory. She deserves peace as do you.