She lied to me. Now I don't think I can ever trust her again.

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chris2for

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Have you ever relaxed, and just had fun with women?

Or has it always been these "serious" relationships?
Yea here and there. I just take my relationships very seriously. I told her if she would just admit to lying about other stuff then we could move forward but she refused.
 

djthiago1

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Yea here and there. I just take my relationships very seriously. I told her if she would just admit to lying about other stuff then we could move forward but she refused.
A serious relationship isn't supposed to be "serious", women want FUN.


I don't mean to offend, but you sound like a girl.
 

That_dude

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A serious relationship isn't supposed to be "serious", women want FUN.


I don't mean to offend, but you sound like a girl.
We shouldn’t go too hard on OP. A lot of us made these mistakes in the past and had to learn from it. I can recall catching one of my exes in a lot of lies and going beta. The next time with the next chick, I played it cool as ice. In fact, I was seeing the girl for almost a year without a single argument. Things left off in a healthy manner as well. Major turnaround in philosophy :cool:
 
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bizzym

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Yea here and there. I just take my relationships very seriously. I told her if she would just admit to lying about other stuff then we could move forward but she refused.
So not only are you insecure, but you're also very manipulative. You don't dangle a relationship over someone's head and have it be contingent on them validating your insecurities. You either decide to move forward or you don't-you don't what you did. I don't know you but I can but my money that you've done other petty, vindictive stuff haven't you?
 

chris2for

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So not only are you insecure, but you're also very manipulative. You don't dangle a relationship over someone's head and have it be contingent on them validating your insecurities. You either decide to move forward or you don't-you don't what you did. I don't know you but I can but my money that you've done other petty, vindictive stuff haven't you?
Well I guess this was petty. So my ex when she was around me she would tell her girlfriends she was getting ready to do something so she would get off the phone. Ex., she would say oh ok well I'm going to call you back I'm getting ready to go to the store, but she wouldn't go right then and there. I'm like boom she's lying to them.
I called her best friend to talk about things with us and told her how she lies to them too.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Billtx49

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Well I guess this was petty. So my ex when she was around me she would tell her girlfriends she was getting ready to do something so she would get off the phone. Ex., she would say oh ok well I'm going to call you back I'm getting ready to go to the store, but she wouldn't go right then and there. I'm like boom she's lying to them.
I called her best friend to talk about things with us and told her how she lies to them too.
So, you’re on edge because you’re observing her developing a history of lies. Not a good character trait in her is it ?
 

bizzym

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So, you’re on edge because you’re observing her developing a history of lies. Not a good character trait in her is it ?
Jesus christ OP. Where in that did she lie? She went to the store but she went a little later. Seriously get over yourself. Everyone does that. If I'm on the phone with someone and it's late at night and I said hey I'm going to go to bed-do I fall asleep as soon as I hang up the phone? No, but I do eventually that's not a lie. I know you do this kind of stuff as well. Just because she didn't do at that very moment or when you would've liked that doesn't make it a lie.
Even if she did lie you don't go to her into her world and try to sabotage her relationships with other people. I'm sure you thought I'm going down so I'm taking you down with me. Seriously you need to get help as she has suggested. This is not how an adult processes the real world, and this definitely not how they carry themselves.
 
A

AJ84

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Lots of excellent advice for you to follow up on.

I think taking some time to work on yourself and how your behaviours affect relationships will be helpful, while in the meantime doing some casual no strings dating to see how that feels to unwind all the intensity. When you are ready to use what you learned try again, if you still want a serious relationship. But seriously please consider the advice given here because it's spot on.
 

That_dude

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You have 2 choices bro:

A. You move forward and stop going beta over petty chit

Or

B. Move on and find another dayne

Simple as that
 
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EyeBRollin

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Read the DJ Bible. We're not trying to insult you, but you acted like the woman in that essay. Put your glasses on and find your balls.

This thing is history. She wants nothing to do with you ever again. Your insecurity is extra bad, so I recommend studying up on acceptable behavior before blowing it with the next chick.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

ChristopherColumbus

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Well I guess this was petty. So my ex when she was around me she would tell her girlfriends she was getting ready to do something so she would get off the phone. Ex., she would say oh ok well I'm going to call you back I'm getting ready to go to the store, but she wouldn't go right then and there. I'm like boom she's lying to them.
I called her best friend to talk about things with us and told her how she lies to them too.
You are interpreting this very strangely. Now imagine you are on the phone with someone who goes on and on and can't stop talking [I have a sister like this]. What do you do? You offer up an excuse as to why you need to get going. It's called a white 'lie' and is not lying at all. Empathy for another person's feeling trumps 'truth-telling'.
 
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