she left the bar with her ex.. am I overreacting?

[joker79]

maybe i'm overreacting but... long story short: dated this girl 2-3 months, really good sex, no talk about relationship, all good and relaxed. Communications started to fade recently but she's all excited about this new work so I can understand (sort of).
Yesterday she was celebrating her last day at work and I was invited at the party as well as her ex. She told me that they are on good terms even if he wants to get her back. I said "fine I've no problems with that". knew lots of people there so we split during the evening, her with her friends and me with mine and sometimes we spend some moments together drinking and chatting. I saw the ex always with her but I didn't bother even if she seems to be a little drunk. In one of our small conversation I asked her to give me a shout when she'd leave and she said ok. Now, what happened was: she left without telling me anything, the ex left as well with her probably (I can't tell as suddenly I wasn't able to see anyone of that group); I sent a txt asking where she was, no answer (but she saw the txt, thanks whatsapp), and still this morning no answer to this txt. My gut feeling is screaming but maybe I'm overreacting.

What do you think guys? I know it sounds that i'm insecure but the only thing i'd like to know is your opinion; i'm inclined to dump her.

 

[goldengoose]

Yeah she fvcked him and you're the odd man out.

I already told you she was planning to do this in the last thread you posted. Not sure why you didn't listen to me the first time before you put yourself in this situation.

What did you expect? She was becoming distant and was fading away from you. She already mentioned the ex was texting her and he wanted her back. Her behavior was very obvious of what was going to happen. Chicks don't start to fade like that for no reason, especially when she is talking about an ex.

Don't put all your stock into a girl you are not in a relationship with. Always have other girls besides her. If you had other girls, this wouldn't be a problem for you.

 

[Skyline]

Dump her? How? You two were never exclusive, thus not owning each other anything- which includes the relationship status. Whether you or her are with anyone else doesn't matter, because you're not exclusive. Do whatever you want, you have a fbuddy and are now ruining it for having oneitis.

Instead of hooking up with girls at that party you were hung up on this chick you weren't even exclusive with. If you aren't exclusive, all bets are off. Go balls deep.

 

[pyros]

She's with her ex now. Sad but true.

Similar thing happened to me recently. Girl I was seing for one month, suddenly became distant, told me about her ex trying to get back together with her, told me she was confused. One week no contact. Texted her to ask her out, told me she was confused and needed to focus (ie going back with her ex).

Its been two weeks and we've had zero contact. Suddenly distant + ex around = fuc-king with ex again.

 

[Thundernuts]

hope you have been wrapping up.

Women who are open to have just sex without wanting an exclusive relationship, especially after 2-3 months, usually are sleeping with other men.

Don't feel bad tho, i mean you got great sex and at least she didnt do this after you went exclusive. Go NC and wait for her to come around for the D.

 

[joker79]

Thanks guys, that is what I thought. No contact from my side, let's see what she does. If she does nothing, she's gone. If she reach me out, I'll evaluate what to do

 

[Mike32ct]

I couldn't do FWB when I know WHO else she's banging. That's gross.

It's understood that a FWB could F other people, but that's assuming that you don't know who the guy is. But the cat is out of the bag now.

I'd delete her number. The odds of her reaching out to you (to hook up) are VERY slim anyway at this point.

 

[joker79]

I don't know guys: two days ago she was at mine on my bed and now it seems that she's gone. She said she was only on good terms with him but disappeared without saying anything. Even worse, she didn't reply to my txt. Every time I see these incongruences, my gut start telling me to be careful. This seems to be another of those time but I think it's game over already.

 

[Ruleit]

Sorry joker. She got tipsy, left with the ex and hooked up with him. Her NOT answering your text is because she hasn't decided whether she wants to get back with him and she's keeping you on the back burner.

Your gut isn't be telling you "be careful", it's telling you "she screwed him." After two years and 300 posts later you should have a helluva lot more self-respect than to put up with this kind of disrespect from a skank.

Puff up your nuts and walk on with your head held high.

 

[joker79]

Thanks guys, the only thing that I would say is that there were her, her ex and a couple of her friends. but she could have gone a separate way with him, who knows. Not replying to my txt is a clear message. Game over.

 

[jay07]

This is why you dont date chicks who still talk to their exes.

Ex always wins. And ex will win for years over any guy until its usually the ex who finds another girl. It haopens all the time.

 

[Ruleit]

IF she does answer the text at some point in time. Keep your cool and work on emotionally detaching yourself from her. Minimize your time with her while working on the next one.

It doesn't have to be "game over." Keep your heart strings detached and ride her a couple more times while you work on developing your plates.

If you can, be cool. DON'T EXPOSE that you're irritated / upset / pissed off with her behaviour. Just downgrade her until you don't need her pvssy anymore.

Edit: I'm essentially saying the same as Mauser

 

[joker79]

I expect something in 3-4 days like "Hey how are you?" or similar, neutral questions. If I don't answer it looks like I'm upset though. But if it happens I'll adopt your strategy Mauser96. She was always asking when we would catch up so she know how to do it... if she wants. If nothing happens, oh well, i'll be with another one. My only concern is that i'm overcomplicating and overthinking, maybe nothing happened.

 

[Ruleit]

If she does text you and you're going to answer:
wait at least 4 hours before reading it and then take an hour to reply.

Heck, if I you aren't emotionally invested, make her wait 4/5 days for a reply. After all, you're supposed to be a busy man living an exciting life.

 

[Kailex]

I expect something in 3-4 days like "Hey how are you?" or similar, neutral questions. If I don't answer it looks like I'm upset though. But if it happens I'll adopt your strategy Mauser96. She was always asking when we would catch up so she know how to do it... if she wants. If nothing happens, oh well, i'll be with another one.

Oh stop it.

I hate this kind of rationalizing.
You know why some people are able to revisit women and bang them with no problem, because they are emotionally detached. If this thread exists, it is because you aren't.

My advice, don't even answer her at ALL. Why? Because you are already worried about what happens IF she does text you and how she MIGHT interpret it if you reply with NC. Seriously?

The fact that she was in your bed 2 days ago and is now not even texting you should tell you a LOT of where HER mindset is and yours ISN'T. She's emotionally detached from you, you aren't. Let. It. Go.

You had your time with her. Jay-Z this one up and ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

 

[Ghost.]

Why would he delete her number and / or completely ignore her? That's what you do when your girlfriend pulls **** like this on you, not someone who you're not even exclusive with.

Yea she may have ****ed her ex. So what? Go **** your ex. That's what not being exclusive pretty much means.

OP, tune down dem feelz for her. She doesn't share them - not to the extent you do. Also please stop rationalizing.

Start looking for other women. You obviously want a girlfriend so don't try to turn your FWB into one. Specially when it's so obvious she's not interested in commitments. Meanwhile, when she does reply, act like nothing happened, invite her over and fvck her eyes out.

PS: Don't get emotional.

 

[MtnMan]

just as everyone else has said, she banged her ex. No question. Move on, maybe you get to bang her out at random some other time. Probably not. Try not to get emotionally attached, this is key.

 

[joker79]

Agree. And even if I asked where she went that night (and I'm not going to do it), she could always say she went home, I can't check in any case.

 

[Big Nuts]

This why all men should spin plates.

 

[Zarky]

Correct. There is no relationship problem that can't be solved by dating multiple women, always. Always.

Even when you're 90 years old in the nursing home, you should be sneaking back and forth between ladies' rooms in the middle of the night.

Always.