She left me!

[RicBoy]

Need advice!
I was dating a girl for 7 months, all was good, we work together. We met my family this summer, and we were going to meet her family on Xmas.

A month ago, she was going through a lot of stress, work, issues with her daughter, and also semi serious health issues where cancer could have been diagnosed. She wasn't feeling like having as much sex maybe only once or twice a week. Instead of supporting her, I kept pushing for sex every day, tried to see her more often, became a bit insecure and needy and she pulled back 2 weeks or so.
We talked and things went back to normal.
One weekend we were having a great night, dinner, cuddling etc, but she didn't want to have sex and I flipped, we had a massive fight, I screamed, and I pushed her and she took it as violence even tho it wasn't in my mind. She kicked me out of her house and asked me space to think of she wanted to continue.
I kept calling her for 5 days asking for her to come back and didn't give her time to think. On the 6th day I showed up at her place to talk, rang the bell she didn't open. Finally she came outside and told me I couldn't wait and it's all over now.

We work together and I spoke to her 2 days after going over to her house. She said things weren't going good for 1 month as I explained above but pushing her at her house, disrespect her and showing up at her place like a crazy person was the end for her. She claims she has no feelings for me now, that I destroyed them with my actions.

After this talk face to face, I have been in no contact for 2 days. Do I have a chance here? What should I do?

My son is coming to visit me from a broad in 3 weeks and she said he could sleep over her place with her daughter for few nights. I'm guessing we are all four going for lunch at least.
Plan of action?

 

[AttackFormation]

Do I have a chance here? What should I do?

I would say yes, you do have a chance to stop acting like a crazed AFC.

Plan of action?

Identify the (negative) words that you think best describe your behavior so far, out of your own and her perspective. Write them down. Then, write down a list of their antonyms on the same paper. Work on changing your personality into the latter.

 

[Clamslammer]

You need to move on and find another girl. The only reason she left you is because you became weak. Do you think a girl that values a guy and his strength would ask for space. Her going through her so called "stress" is your excuse, you became needy thus her clam got dry. The more needy you were the more she became dry.

The only thing you can do now is not reach out to her and go slam some other clams. If she ever does reach out and I highly doubt it, tell her to come to your place for some dinner and desert.

 

[RicBoy]

We work together she sees me 15min a day or so, she can easily see changes on me if she wants.
She asked for space because I pushed her at her place, and she hit the bed, I was drunk and jonkinly pretending I was gonna rape her. It was a joke but she took it as domestic vilonce. She actually put me out that night and asked for space to think

 

[Speculator E]

We work together she sees me 15min a day or so, she can easily see changes on me if she wants.
She asked for space because I pushed her at her place, and she hit the bed, I was drunk and jonkinly pretending I was gonna rape her. It was a joke but she took it as domestic vilonce. She actually put me out that night and asked for space to think

You're in danger of getting fired. Eventually she's going to begin making accusation of harassment. Your workplace will side with her on default because she's a women. You got bigger problems now and need to prepare yourself.

 

[RicBoy]

I spoke with my dad 2 hours. He pointed out a lot of things wrong about me. Way beyond of being needy. I need to see a psychologist and educate myself again in many areas of my life. I have been dumped 4 times. I have been fired 2 times. I am a bit selfish only care about my problems. My ex told me she thinks I don't love her, I just love the idea of her and the sex I have with her. I feel like if any woman gives me good sex I will love her. Maybe I care for the sex and not the person itself.

Women tend not to feel safe with me and tend to be stressed around me. The way I act in relationships too much focus on sex, smothering my partners, always wanting to be with them 24/7 and then chasing like a maniac after I'm dumped isn't normal.

I'm very selfish, I don't care for anything really, don't have many friends or a life I like, I don't even give much attention to my son who forsnt live with me atm.

My dad said to leave my ex alone, she is my supervisor she sees me daily, if she will see real changes on me, more reponsible, more adult, more man, she will natuely approach me.

I really need some serious professional help.

 

[soulforge]

Is this a Troll?

 

[AJ84]

‘A month ago, she was going through a lot of stress, work, issues with her daughter, and also semi serious health issues where cancer could have been diagnosed. She wasn't feeling like having as much sex maybe only once or twice a week. Instead of supporting her, I kept pushing for sex every day,


‘One weekend we were having a great night, dinner, cuddling etc, but she didn't want to have sex and I flipped, we had a massive fight, I screamed, and I pushed her’

You seem to know where you went wrong.

Imagine if you thought you had cancer and you had a girlfriend who, instead of being supportive, was whining because you don’t want to go out to dinner every other night. Then imagined when you confront her on that she freaks out and screams at you. If you posted that story here 95% of the members would tell you to dump her.

I’m a female so my advice will be from a female perspective but I would hope that anyone who doesn’t like to be treated the way you treated her would see it the same way:
Apologize for being selfish and uncaring when she was going through some serious stuff, and don’t be that like that again if she takes you back.

If she doesn’t take you back, move on but maybe learn from this experience if your goal is to have a healthy relationship with a woman.
If I thought I had cancer I probably would not be in the mood for sex much, if my guy was doing what you were doing, I would be even less in the mood because it sends the message that he doesn’t even care, that would definitely erode whatever bond I had with him. Maybe if you had shown some support instead of pushing (figuratively and literally) for sex from someone who thought they may have cancer, she may have bonded with you more for being supportive and that could of led to her wanting to have sex with you for her own desire to be close to you, not because you were pushing for it.

 

[AttackFormation]

Is this a Troll?

It's either a troll or a psychotic person who we thus can't help anyway. Either way, on to ignore.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

coming from a guy that has a high libido and has dated girls with low libidos, I can tell you this could really just be a case of mismatched libidos. Maybe you had a lot of sex early on in the courting phase, but then if she is not high libido it will drop off. I have had relationships with girls for about a year where we had sex- I am not kidding you- every single time we hung out from one night stand in the beginning of the relationship to the day before we broke up. This girl is withholding sex this early on, I mean geez, it's not going to get any better. You are clearly a guy that likes sex, and I respect that that's how I am. You can't wait for this girl and put your effort into this girl who doesn't have the same libido or the same drive. I also think you guys did move a little fast, meeting family in seven months to me is a bit of a rush, but I guess it depends on how often you were spending time together etc etc. It sounds like you made a good effort, and nobody really did anything to screw the other person over, it just didn't work out. Good old Rollo tomassi iron rule number 7 is going to be where we go from here.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, looking at this situation plus your writings here in 2016, it’s clear to see you have a serious issue with self-control. Fortunately it sounds like you’re recognizing this and that you’re ready to look into addressing it.

When it comes to women, all men need to recognize the invisible magnetic-like force, or tension, that is the glue of the relationship.

When she backs away, the man needs to back away. This creates a vacuum or a tension that she will need to relieve by drawing nearer. If she backs away and he pursues, the two are similar to like poles of a magnet. They repel. The man advances forward, and she is farther and farther repelled.

Always think in terms of this invisible force that exists between man and woman, and harness it for the benefit of the relationship. Think of it as maintaining a certain “cushion” of force that holds the relationship together.

She backs away, you back away and this invisible force will draw her closer. If you advance during that time, you will repel her. This is exactly the situation you keep on creating.

One thing that women subconsciously hate is certainty. Just the opposite of us men. When a woman thinks she has you hook, line and sinker, she starts to lose attraction. We need to keep that slight little sense of dread of loss alive. We do this by demonstrating that we could easily live without her, but we would prefer to live with her if she remains qualified.

By letting her know she has you completely, for her it’s like paying to see a movie where she already knows the ending. It’s boring, and what’s the point?

Maintain that distance or cushion of force between you and life (hence YOU), will be exciting to her.

 

[sosousage]

Need advice!
I was dating a girl for 7 months, all was good, we work together. We met my family this summer, and we were going to meet her family on Xmas.

A month ago, she was going through a lot of stress, work, issues with her daughter, and also semi serious health issues where cancer could have been diagnosed. She wasn't feeling like having as much sex maybe only once or twice a week. Instead of supporting her, I kept pushing for sex every day, tried to see her more often, became a bit insecure and needy and she pulled back 2 weeks or so.
We talked and things went back to normal.
One weekend we were having a great night, dinner, cuddling etc, but she didn't want to have sex and I flipped, we had a massive fight, I screamed, and I pushed her and she took it as violence even tho it wasn't in my mind. She kicked me out of her house and asked me space to think of she wanted to continue.
I kept calling her for 5 days asking for her to come back and didn't give her time to think. On the 6th day I showed up at her place to talk, rang the bell she didn't open. Finally she came outside and told me I couldn't wait and it's all over now.

We work together and I spoke to her 2 days after going over to her house. She said things weren't going good for 1 month as I explained above but pushing her at her house, disrespect her and showing up at her place like a crazy person was the end for her. She claims she has no feelings for me now, that I destroyed them with my actions.

After this talk face to face, I have been in no contact for 2 days. Do I have a chance here? What should I do?

My son is coming to visit me from a broad in 3 weeks and she said he could sleep over her place with her daughter for few nights. I'm guessing we are all four going for lunch at least.
Plan of action?

OP the reason why men fail with women is becuz they get hopes high and then they cry

no the answer is she wont go back to u

 

[bacchus]

I know you’re grasping for reasons to believe this is salvageable, but it’s not. She can’t stand the thought of you putting your penls in her because of the weakness you’ve shown. You’ll never be able to change her mind. You disgust her.

All you can do is learn from what happened here, work on becoming better, and do better with the next broad. She may very well be sexier/smarter/kinder than this one.

But make no mistake - this one is toast. Unless you find someone with a time machine, the best thing you can do now is preserve your self respect and avoid all non-professional contact with her, and be courteous with her when you must deal with her in a professional capacity.

We work together she sees me 15min a day or so, she can easily see changes on me if she wants.
She asked for space because I pushed her at her place, and she hit the bed, I was drunk and jonkinly pretending I was gonna rape her. It was a joke but she took it as domestic vilonce. She actually put me out that night and asked for space to think

 

[Hal9000]

If a woman has pissed you off to the point you are pushing her you need to move on. You're lucky you aren't already in jail and next time you probably will be.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I screamed, and I pushed her and she took it as violence even tho it wasn't in my mind.

The fact that you did this (and that other members appear to see no wrong doing by calling out this action) is further proof that this board is going down hill.

My son is coming to visit me from a broad in 3 weeks and she said he could sleep over her place with her daughter for few nights.

I don't know the context of the above, but on the surface it seems that your complaint is peculiar.

Plan of action?

Work on yourself. Not her.

 

[RicBoy]

I just scheduled an appointment for psychotherapist with the following msg

I'm going through a break up, where I hit my ex girlfriend and went over her house to talk unannounced. I have been dumped from previous relationships for smothering my partners with presence, showing needy behaviors, overcrowding their space, over touching them, wanting to spend all my free time with them. I have strong sexual desire, make my relationships too much sex driven. When partners leave me, I tend to beg please and chase them. In other areas of my life, like job, I feel I'm still very irresponsible not mature enough. I'm selfish, I only care for me and for my needs, I don't seem to have interest in anyone or anything.

 

[Epic Days]

She claims she has no feelings for me now, that I destroyed them with my actions.

She lied to you. Fully and completely. Those parts were just the final swirls in the icing on top if the cake.

you were manipulated and triggered to get rid of you. You stepped up like a dumb a$$ and absolved her of everything.

 

[Julian]

You are whats wrong with males bro, and by bro i mean never my bro.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The guy seems to be waking up and taking ownership. Do we really need to kick him to the curb?

 

[Epic Days]

The guy seems to be waking up and taking ownership. Do we really need to kick him to the curb?

Not at all. He was in mystery why the whole thing took place. He had no clue.