She left me.

[ostap1]

"Lead her on for a month and be using your "A Game" so she's feeling better than ever then coldly drop the b!tch with no explanation after 1 month (30 days) has gone by".

What do you mean exactly by leading her on? Talking to her on the phone for a month and acting cool like nothing ever happened or actually meeting up with her during the month and trying to smash?

I know if I pull the right strings and have a good plan in place like you say I can and will come out on top. But what exactly should be my tactics during the month period be? Act like I don't give a **** about her or actually try to be nice and sweet and act like I care about her problems? I've read Metaphysical's guide a couple of times and it is a good guide to fallow. But as far as what to do EXACTLY when she calls is a different subject altogether and probably deserves it's own thread.

What do you think KontrollerX?

 

[ostap1]

"Lead her on for a month and be using your "A Game" so she's feeling better than ever then coldly drop the b!tch with no explanation after 1 month (30 days) has gone by".

What do you mean exactly by leading her on? Talking to her on the phone for a month and acting cool like nothing ever happened or actually meeting up with her during the month and trying to smash?

I know if I pull the right strings and have a good plan in place like you say I can and will come out on top. But what exactly should be my tactics during the month period be? Act like I don't give a **** about her or actually try to be nice and sweet and act like I care about her problems? I've read Metaphysical's guide a couple of times and it is a good guide to fallow. But as far as what to do EXACTLY when she calls is a different subject altogether and probably deserves it's own thread.

What do you think KontrollerX?

 

[ostap1]

Another thing: If/when she does call/text how long should I TRULY wait until I pick that phone up and start the revenge process? Metaphysical's guide says that if you dated a girl for a year or so , I should wait a month until I start to pick up her calls. Should I fallow that exactly or should I just fallow the flow of what extremes she is talking about.

If she is leaving pissed off messages like "mofo you better call me, you are a p*ssy, a$$hole, etc." I think I should not pick up for a month depending onhow long she is angry. But what if she is leaving "sincere" messages and saying stuff like "I miss you" and "I'm going crazy w/o you"? Sorry for all this extra nonsense, but I want to have as much of the upper hand as possible and just get her feeling the worst feeling ever. I'm not much of one to hold a grudge ever, but dammit this is some cold hearted $hit that women do that they have to learn a hard lesson from or they will keep on doing it to the next man over and over.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

I have the same problem the girl lost interest in me and had been treating me like crap for months so I broke it off first which she didnt even care. But the girl constantly texts, calls or private calls me. I had oneitis as well and am still battling, but the girl is trying to constantly trying to get a hold of me.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Bump

 

[ostap1]

PimpoftheSouth I feel you man, my ex b*tch hasn't exactly gone that route yet but I can feel the perfect storm coming. See I know that she is currently w/another dude but she is also heavily emotionally unstable and an attention wh0re who if she doesn't get her way flips out. I know the new cat wont be able to handle her sh8t for sure and she is going to start harassing me, but what have you done exactly during your process of getting over her and trying to play any and all mind games.

I realize this now that all of this **** that I am experiencing is damn silly and I will laugh about it a year from now big time. But we as humans and males need a forum like this to talk these things out. We are all each other's personal online shrinks in a way lol. If you can imagine even a decade ago when sites like these didn't exist and dudes in our situations would find anyone to talk to about their problems and would even go to a psychiatrist over a b8tch and spend lots of hard earned $. I guess we all just need someone to complain to and get tips from. Keep em coming fellas.

 

[KontrollerX]

"What do you mean exactly by leading her on?"

Lead her on just means you are pretending to give her a relationship.

When in reality you are just trying to get your rocks off and get even.

You are leading her on making her think you and she will genuinely have something together and live happily ever after while in actual reality you have her fate set up for her ahead of time and this union will only be temporary as it will end at the date you plan for it to end.

So yeah when she contacts you again Metaphysical's guide has pretty much all the instructions you'll need but just remember to let her beg you to get back together or do something that indicates she wants to get back together with you whatever that may be as whoever makes that kind of request of another person first has the least power moving forward.

Which means you have all the power on whether to grant her request for a relationship or not and I think Metaphysical's guide goes through the steps you should put her through in order for her to earn her way back into your life and the phony relationship with you.

Making her earn her way back into your life makes her more invested in the relationship she's trying to build with you as she spends time on doing what you want to get on your good side and she will not want that investment to end up being all for nothing which will make it harder for her in the future to break up with you first or break up with you at all.

Having the right psychological control over these situations awards you massive power in relationships.

Also remember when you decide to take her back to keep frame control meaning you let her know the relationship is on your terms which means if you want to screw other b!tches in the meantime or hang out with your buddies more than you do with her she's just going to have to accept that or she can hit the road and go date someone else.

If she's like the typical woman out there she'll be all hot for you over this and get off on your new commanding and powerful nature.

 

[ostap1]

"Also remember when you decide to take her back to keep frame control meaning you let her know the relationship is on your terms which means if you want to screw other b!tches in the meantime or hang out with your buddies more than you do with her she's just going to have to accept that or she can hit the road and go date someone else."

See the fact of the matter is that I don't think her crazy a$$ is the TYPICAL woman due to her always having insecurity and jealousy issues in the past. One time she found a whole bunch of free strip club passes in my pocket and flipped the hell out and left me in the movie theater parking lot (she eventually came back). I know that I have to make this meticulously perfect and am worried that if I tell her straight up that I'ma bang other women that she will just leave again, instead of the other way around. What would you recommend? KontrollerX I can tell that you've been through your fair share of relationships and have gained much wisdom from it. This was my first TRUE love/relationship so you can imagine where I'm coming from.

Add to the fact that she only turned 20 in September and you can imagine the type of "woman" that I had on my hands. She wanted marriage and kids and all that. She came from a much less wealthy background than myself and was middle eastern (has any1 ever dated one from this site?) She was materialistic, emotionally unstable (abused as a child), has a crazy a$$ family, attention seeking (mostly from me) and now that I think about it gold digging. She wanted to get married for obvious reasons and when she saw that I was really playing and not serious about marriage, coupled with the fact that she told me numerous times that I don't show her the same attention anymore as in the beginning and she even said "I think we need couple therapy". Women truly have a sixth sense for a men's emotion's if its there or not with them. I started messing w/ other chicks (no sex though) to try to find another one so I could leave her and have a rebound waiting too. And to be honest I was looking for a way out, but like I said b4 she beat me to it and my ego was/is crushed. But I still need to come on top of all this

 

[KontrollerX]

"flipped the hell out and left me in the movie theater parking lot (she eventually came back)."

You see the last part of that sentence?

"she eventually came back"

Read that a few times over until it sinks in my friend...

Alright incase it hasn't sunk in I'll let you in on a little secret.

SHE LOVES BEING JEALOUS AND SHE LOVES GUYS THAT CAN MAKE HER JEALOUS, SHE LOVES THE THRILL OF FLIPPING OUT AND CREATING DRAMA!!!

Then you might say to me buu....t kontroll...er...she uh...she REALLY flips out, she gets REALLY angry!

And then I say to you yes and she loves every minute of it and proves it by coming back.

So start listening to her!

This is what she wants.

Drama and chaos.

Give it to her!

Be not afraid.

The less afraid you are to set her off and the more you act like you don't give a sh!t about her emotional spasms the more she'll try to figure you out and control you with her tantrums again but the thing is she really doesn't want you to be afraid, she wants you to be in control of her and she wants you to not give a sh!t and act like she is nothing when she is doing them.

You could even walk away from her when she starts or hang up the phone on her and she'd love it!

"Add to the fact that she only turned 20 in September and you can imagine the type of "woman" that I had on my hands. She wanted marriage and kids and all that. She came from a much less wealthy background than myself and was middle eastern (has any1 ever dated one from this site?) She was materialistic, emotionally unstable (abused as a child), has a crazy a$$ family, attention seeking (mostly from me) and now that I think about it gold digging."

On the site I used to moderate about Cluster B there was a poster there named Jason who was even more hardcore into psychology than I am and he told me he discovered a pile of studies about middle eastern people being prime candidates for Cluster B disorders since often times their lives are very harsh due to culture, customs and family tradition and probably many other factors but anyway yeah from all that you have told me she's probably just another Borderline Personality Disordered nutjob or a Histrionic Personality Disordered one which is a kind of sister disorder to BPD that is more mild. I am led to believe this specifically because of your comment about your girl being a kind of succubus and that succubus character describes these types very accurately. They drain you of life force it would seem. Anyway all that I told you earlier in this particular post I am making for you now is similar to what the poster Bible Belt might tell you in order to succeed with your BPD. Bible Belt is a kind of expert at getting the best of BPD's. However these personality disordered people are so dangerous to be around due to how manipulative they are you really have to be a hell of a strong man psychologically to even consider wanting to try and possibly a little bit crazy yourself. So I don't recommend people try and win with BPD's or HPD's but PM Bible Belt for further tips if you just have to.

"She wanted to get married for obvious reasons and when she saw that I was really playing and not serious about marriage, coupled with the fact that she told me numerous times that I don't show her the same attention anymore as in the beginning and she even said "I think we need couple therapy". Women truly have a sixth sense for a men's emotion's if its there or not with them. I started messing w/ other chicks (no sex though) to try to find another one so I could leave her and have a rebound waiting too. And to be honest I was looking for a way out, but like I said b4 she beat me to it and my ego was/is crushed. But I still need to come on top of all this"

Sometimes the best victory you can attain in life is the victory over yourself and your own ego needs.

The battle to try and conqueor this girl if she is a BPD or an HPD could prove life threatening at worst and only your mental health being threatened at best.

Anyway though again consult Bible Belt in PM, tell him your girl is probably a BPD and ask him the best way to proceed and get control over her. I think I have given you enough to work with but hell there's no harm in getting that little bit of extra input from someone else who knows these women well.

As for that couples therapy business any girl BPD or otherwise that tells you its time to go there look her in the eyes and laugh your ass off. Once that line is spoken the relationship is done as a viable and workable union. A counselor is not going to be able to re-ignite attraction and desire which are spontaneous chemical reactions. The only thing a counselor might be able to help you both acheive is hating eachother a little less and thats no kind of relationship to stay in. Even in a marriage staying together for the kids is a joke as staying together and hating eachother or fighting all the time is not a healthy environment for the kids to be in and even less so at that then an environment where they are being raised with love by one parent at a time taking turns.

The bringing up of couples therapy is also a way for a BPD in particular to try and control you and throw you off.

Ignore all of that and just give her the drama that she needs.

Ignore a woman's words for the most part and pay attention to her ultimate actions the most.

 

[lghost]

I started messing w/ other chicks (no sex though) to try to find another one so I could leave her and have a rebound waiting too. And to be honest I was looking for a way out, but like I said b4 she beat me to it and my ego was/is crushed. But I still need to come on top of all this

Sorry I can't read all the in between threads so...

She had a messed up life and you feel sorry for her???
She wants to marry at age 20???
Is she crazy or do you have outrageous game?
You want to leave her and find a rebound?
She left you first and... NO FAIR!!! I was gonna be first...
Grow up the both of you. Talk then.
My opinion based on your posts, You want her because she left you and you just want her back. You say you want revenge yet you were planning on leaving her. If you read almost any other post in this forum you will find that the sweetest revenge is forgetting about a person. Its a human weakness and a female's nightmare. Post some questions about another female your interested in(maybe how to pull her)...
But what if she doesnt call because she thinks I lost interest in her?!?! Trust me, thats not the case. If she doesn't call you then that means she isn't interested in you. NOW WHAT?!!? You really want a girl who doesn't want you? Desperate and more failure.

Just my opinion

 

[Da Realist]

Whether you want her back or not, do not contact that woman for any reason whatsoever. I don't care if someone accidentally sends her mail to you, do not talk to her. Hang out in new places. Hang out with new people and do not even talk to mutual friends about how bad you feel. Just disappear, get back on your feet, and be happy.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

To tell you the truth man I put up with her back and forth crap for months until I started ignoring her and changed my number. She somehow got my number and private calls about every two-three days. This crap will go on forever if you let her have her cake and eat it to. I agree with the advice to just drop her not permanently but for now. If she wants you she will go out of her way to get into contact with you. Do You ever drive over to her place and try to talk to her and maybe even work things out? Thats what I did because I really wanted her and finally I stopped. If she wants you she will come Looking.

 

[DonGorgon]

letting her be a ho would not have helped at all relationships end eventually usually at the womans choosing cause the have so many more choices than we do to get sex...

We tend to stay in bad relationships just to keep getting sex but women dont need to do that..

 

[TheDoctor]

UPDATE:

So today has been one week. No contact up until this point. I txt msg'd her that her things were boxed up by the door at my house, to get them when she can and leave my house key. She replied back that she couldn't get them that day but would get the things when she can and leave the key. That was Monday. Yesterday (Wed) I dropped her things on her door step on my way to the office. I haven't heard from her.

I've read the "Just Got Dumped" guide. The thing is she won't call me. She won't change her mind unless I talk to her and try to convince her to come back to me. Therefore, I'm going to go against the guide and eventually call her. Prolly in the next few days.. .. .. to ask her if she will talk to me. She said call her if I needed to talk.

What is your guys opinions on this? I know I'm not supposed to call her. I'm supposed to let her think about things and let the doubt creep in, however, she is a very strong girl. She will stick to her guns. She won't come back to me unless I talk her into it (which I feel is about 50-50 or even less, maybe 35-65).

Am I screwing up bad?

 

[DonGorgon]

UPDATE:

So today has been one week. No contact up until this point. I txt msg'd her that her things were boxed up by the door at my house, to get them when she can and leave my house key. She replied back that she couldn't get them that day but would get the things when she can and leave the key. That was Monday. Yesterday (Wed) I dropped her things on her door step on my way to the office. I haven't heard from her.

I've read the "Just Got Dumped" guide. The thing is she won't call me. She won't change her mind unless I talk to her and try to convince her to come back to me. Therefore, I'm going to go against the guide and eventually call her. Prolly in the next few days.. .. .. to ask her if she will talk to me. She said call her if I needed to talk.

What is your guys opinions on this? I know I'm not supposed to call her. I'm supposed to let her think about things and let the doubt creep in, however, she is a very strong girl. She will stick to her guns. She won't come back to me unless I talk her into it (which I feel is about 50-50 or even less, maybe 35-65).

Am I screwing up bad?

if she comes back.. dont expect it to last long.. just start dating others. she is. thats life people get together, cheat, and get with others and cheat and so on until they are to old.. we should not expect anything more from humans..

 

[ostap1]

Thanks guys. KontrollerX I have messaged Bible_Belt and you are RIGHT she is for sure BPD/HPD. I guess if we look at the Laws of Attraction I at some point must've just attracted her into my life when I was kind of down and out. I truly believe that. And yes she was also on ADD medications most of her life and told me that when she was young she was very crazy and they even had to do a brainscan on her at some point in her youth. I believe that all of the crap from her crazy childhood added up and she became the person she is now who thrives on drama and chaos like you say.

She used to flip out in an instant if things didn't go her way and me being the dumba$$ that I was would try to talk to her to reason things out. "The less afraid you are to set her off and the more you act like you don't give a sh!t about her emotional spasms the more she'll try to figure you out and control you with her tantrums again but the thing is she really doesn't want you to be afraid, she wants you to be in control of her and she wants you to not give a sh!t and act like she is nothing when she is doing them.

You could even walk away from her when she starts or hang up the phone on her and she'd love it!" This is definitely psychology 101 my friend. Is this 100% true of women like this? When/if she starts calling again is she really gonna be sincere at first then start creating drama when I tell her that I'm going to possibly be seeing other chicks and hang out with my boys more than her? Does she consciously actually want me to not give a f*ck when she throws tantrums and actually me CONTROL her? Man this stuff is hella interesting and I'm actually going to try to take human behavioral psychology courses at community college. I am very fascinated by how the human mind works, especially the woman's mind, especially a crazy woman's mind.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Am I screwing up bad?"

Of course you are.

You'll be giving her all the power and you'll lose every bit of self respect you have if after all your begging and pleading she still shuts you down.

 

[TheDoctor]

KontrollerX
Of course you are.

You'll be giving her all the power and you'll lose every bit of self respect you have if after all your begging and pleading she still shuts you down.

Yea, I know. I never listened to you before KontrollerX. I should start now. Know that I maintained strong when she broke the news to me. Very calm. Very thoughtful. I didn't yell, scream, get mad, get angry, get upset, cry, get emotional.....nothing. I told her that this isn't what I want but I don't have much of a choice. I told her I would move on and quick. She cried and cried and cried. She said she loved me but was no longer in love with me. This stems from my AFC behavior including my insecurities, jealousness and controlling behavior.

So....with that having been said, I will not beg her, plead with her, cry or grovel with her about this. I just want a little face time to see if she has any regrets about the situation. Either she does or she doesn't. Either way, I will be able to move on to a better place I think.

I can't move on now because I just keep thinking how it will go when I finally do break down and contact her. I'm hopeful, therefore, I can't and haven't truly started the healing process.

It's a stupid hope, I know, but I've always been a winner and never a quitter and I just can't give up on trying to get her back. I'm not wired like that. I know that I should save face and pride and ego and move on to hotter and cooler things, but I just can't walk away without trying.

 

[SamePendo]

she is a very strong girl. She will stick to her guns.

If she brings a knife, you bring a gun. If she brings a gun, bring a machine gun. Be a man, grab your balls and show who's the man.

 

[drak_ool]

It's a stupid hope, I know, but I've always been a winner and never a quitter and I just can't give up on trying to get her back. I'm not wired like that. I know that I should save face and pride and ego and move on to hotter and cooler things, but I just can't walk away without trying.

If you want to look at it as a win or loose situation, then think about it this way: you can win her back... just not right now. You can still get this chick back if you give it some time. And I'm not talking about a week either, I'm talking about at least a few months. Do every thing you can to improve yourself, get a new job, find some new girls an DO NOT, under any circumstances, contact her. DO NOT respond to her in any way. This is what a cold break means.

Since you said your social circles are intertwined, she will find out that you are a new man, that you are having fun without her, that girls are talking about you/running after you. And she will be jealous. She'll start thinking she made a mistake. Chances are at that point she already ran into at least one player who treated her like s.hit then dumped her, so her ego will be deflated and she'll want some validation...

And that's when she calls you, and you can take her back on your own terms. But the funny thing is, YOU WILL NOT WANT HER ANYMORE! You will have moved on with your live, you'll have fun playing other girls, maybe you ll feel sorry for her, maybe you ll still wanna hit it, but you will not want to get back into a relationship with her.

How do I know that? I was in a very similar situation to you: my relationship was in shambles and falling apart fast, I was trying to salvage it to no avail... But at least I mustered the balls to break it off before she would do it, never talked to her after that, refused to answer any form of communication from her (it s been almost 2 years and she still txts me at least once a month... crazy, right?). The night when i broke up with her i had 2 chicks spend the night at my house and I have never looked back since!

Trust me, if you can work hard and you can reach your true potential, in a few years you will realize this is in fact the best thing that ever happened to you.

Good luck...