She left me.

[TheDoctor]

My girlfriend broke it off with me after more than a year. She chose this, not after a heated argument, but after thinking about it with a clear head for several days. I recieved news about two weeks ago that I am about to get laid off from my job as well. She decided to drop this bomb on me anyway.

I am utterly devestated. I can't eat or sleep. I'm fvcking miserable. I made so many mistakes, one, by making her the center of my world. I was afc with her and pvssy whipped. She fell out of love with me because of my afc ways. She said she is no longer in love with me, not attracted to me at all. Of course she said she still loves me as a person. She wanted to be friends. I told her not under any circumstances.

I was told the end was near by a few of you guys months ago. I thought I could salvage it. I thought I could stop trying to control her. Stop being jealous and insecure everytime she went out with friends. Stop getting mad at her for little things that I took as disrespectful when they probably weren't meant that way.

I want her back but I'm pretty sure she won't have any of that. Through friends I have heard that she is sad but knows that this is the right thing to do. To go our seperate ways. I haven't called her, its been almost five days.

What the fvck am I supposed to do now!

 

[HungLo]

To me, I think you guys should have some space for now. The important thing is that you pointed out your mistakes and hopefully you can fix them. Don't try to say "no" for her offer of friendship cause that shows that you're a ****. Just take it as is, and just let her go for a while. Fix yourself, get a new job, and after a few weeks or months get in contact with her again and see what happens from there but make sure you're a whole new person, no more AFC ways, delete it from your system. I'm sure we all went through this before so don't feel so bad.

 

[mothballs]

It's debatable whether to remain friends with her... depends highly on what kind of people you are and how you met her... if you have a lot of mutual friends I say suck it up and deal with her remaining a friend. If not then there's not much point in keeping her as a friend unless you both truely care for each other platonically.

As far as getting back with her... it really sucks, but I don't believe that any healthy relationships are formed with exes when the relationship falls apart due to neglect by one or both parties... I've heard lots of stories of people getting back together for another year or two, but they never result in marriage and/or are not still together when the story is told.

Take a couple months to indulge in your hobbies... if you have none, get some. Just pamper yourself. Buy that big TV she didn't want you to buy... buy that car part you wanted to put on your car, buy that new computer... or PS3 or XBOX... whatever it takes to push her out of your mind (just don't drink yourself to death). Find yourself and then get back out on the market.

 

[Smack]

" We are all faced with magnificent opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations" - you now have the opportunity to find the girl and the job of your dreams seeing as you're single and unattached. You're a free man now with no responsibilities so go out and live life!

 

[decentguy]

I disagree with HungLo. You did the right thing by not staying in contact with her. DO NOT PURSUE HER AGAIN! Forget her. You can't rebuild once she has lost interest in you. Focus on your life right now. Take some time to be single and regain your independence.
There are other women out there and I guarantee you that trying to impress your ex-girlfriend or win her back will only end up making you miserable in the end. Do not try to contact her, erase her from your life.

 

[TheDoctor]

I disagree with HungLo. You did the right thing by not staying in contact with her. DO NOT PURSUE HER AGAIN! Forget her. You can't rebuild once she has lost interest in you. Focus on your life right now. Take some time to be single and regain your independence.
There are other women out there and I guarantee you that trying to impress your ex-girlfriend or win her back will only end up making you miserable in the end. Do not try to contact her, erase her from your life.

So much easier said than done. Our lives were intertwined to the fullest. Same friends. Same hang outs. Same interests. Same bars. Same beach spot.

I know this goes against everything everyone will say but I've read Metaphysicals "just got dumped" guide. I would just like to know if it is possible to make them fall back in love with you. I want her back. I'm sorry that is the case but it is.

 

[decentguy]

No one said it would be easy. You became attached to her, it's normal. However, this is something you must do like ripping off a bandaid. It's going to sting but you know the bandaid has to come off at some point. You'll come out of this stronger. Your life isn't over. You won't stay single for the rest of your life. No matter how great you think she may be, the simple fact that she dumped you means there's no going back.

 

[HungLo]

I disagree with HungLo. You did the right thing by not staying in contact with her. DO NOT PURSUE HER AGAIN! Forget her. You can't rebuild once she has lost interest in you. Focus on your life right now. Take some time to be single and regain your independence.
There are other women out there and I guarantee you that trying to impress your ex-girlfriend or win her back will only end up making you miserable in the end. Do not try to contact her, erase her from your life.

TheDoctor really wants her back, I'm merely giving him the good news that IT IS POSSIBLE he can get back with her. Believe me because I've been in that similar situation and I was able to get back with my ex and have sex long time again :rock:
If you still love her, then just do what I said. If not, then listen to everyone else saying to just forget about her and cut off contact completely. It's your decision.

 

[Lexington]

I'm not going to say whether you should get back with her or not. But perhaps it's time for you to step back from everything and reflect. Try to have some time to yourself and think about things.

At the moment, the emotions are very strong and it's extremely difficult to make an objective decision about anything. But after some time, you might be able to accept that it's over for now and then you can decide how you want to proceed.

You have to ask yourself if you REALLY want to get back with her. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But you should make sure that however you proceed, you make the right decision.

For the next few days, try and forget about her, your job situation etc. Immerse yourself in your hobbies. Spoil yourself as others have said. Then, after a while, when the initial sting is gone, you can think about things with a clear head and decide upon what is the best course of action.

It's very important not to rush into anything.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I told her not under any circumstances."

Very nice.

This is the most balls you've shown all during the relationship and at the end of it be proud of yourself for saying the right thing to her.

These sort of "friendships" are not friendships at all but just a more polite way to say: "I'm utterly unattracted to you and want to go ride someother c0cks so I'll let you down easy with this fake friendship I won't even be really engaged in if you take me at my word of it being a genuine friendship."

Also you as a man don't actually want friendship with a chick you once shared intimacy with anyway you either want to still be her man and fvcking her or you don't want anything to do with the b!tch and thats a perfectly fine mindset to have.

A man does well to know what he wants and then go after it.

What you do from this moment?

Do your best to move on and wrap yourself up in other persuits such as hobbies and gaming other chicks.

Absolutely do not contact your ex for any reason, if she wants you she'll let you know herself at some point in the future be it weeks or months but yes cold no contact is the only thing that can sometimes make a chick hot for you again and they get hot for you again because their ego needs are not boosted up by your AFC lap dog whining and begging them to get back together with you again.

The reason in short a chick comes back to an ex of her's all teary eyed is if she still thinks there is something to syphon out of that poor man's soul and also most importantly what she syphons out of the man's soul is that extra ego validation that she's still got it, she's still hot, then she works at sabotaging the relationship and eventually dumps you totally filled with the rest of the validation she didn't get from you during round 1 when your relationship very first got started.

To defeat women in this scenario where you take them back you always have to be mindful of the new relationship and dump them first and only take these slvts back on your own terms laid out in Metaphysical's "So you just got dumped" guide.

You can take your woman back on the grounds that she's just going to have to accept that you'll be banging other women in your new relationship together.

Never offer that cvnt exclusivity after she breaks up with you the first time.

If she comes back again it is on your terms which you make expressely clear.

Its your world and she's just along for the ride.

No exclusivity if she ever comes crawling back.

You're the man, benefit yourself before that b!tch.

 

[WhtRbt]

Don't go back dude. One chance per woman per lifetime. You can't go back. YOU CAN'T GO BACK. And why would you want to? Why would you want a woman that doesn't even like you?

If she calls, DO NOT ANSWER. If you see her out, say hi, and then IGNORE HER. This is not to get her back, it's so that you can heal. You said you were devastated. I know that feeling. Every time you break the rules and talk to her, or hang out with her, you have to start the healing all over again. And it hurts the same as the first time. If you try to get her back, or talk to her, or hang out, then YOU WILL FEEL THE SAME DEVASTATION AGAIN. I promise you.

Also, KontrollerX said you can take her back as long as you f*ck other women. DON'T DO IT. You will get sucked back into her. Been there done that. It is a terrible, terrible idea lol. I went back to my ex and had 3-7 other women on the side. Guess what? I GOT CRUSHED AGAIN! Hello devastation!

Try listening to "your time is gonna come" by led zeppelin.

You have to be a tough-ass motherf*cker right now. Each day you will feel a little better. Each day you will care about her a little less. The hurt will go away. Keep working on yourself. Keep learning. Before you know it you will have so many girls after you, you won't know what to do with them all. And you'll think back to this girl, and barely even remember anything about the relationship, other than that it sucked ass compared to what you have now.

You are lucky to have gone thru this devastation. It is a blessing in disguise. It is part of growing up. It is what will motivate you to become a true man. Good Luck.

 

[TheDoctor]

Thanks everybody, and thanks KontrollerX.

KontrollerX, You commented on my earlier post when my LTR and I were having problems. You said "The end is extremely fvcking nigh". I tried to ignore that comment and do damage control but in the end, I didn't really change anything. I was still AFC, still suffocating her, still too needy and jealous and insecure. You were right, the end was near and now the end has arrived.

I've never felt pain like this before. I just want to pick up the phone and call her and ask if we can talk.....but talk about what? She has already said she isn't in love with me anymore, isn't attracted to me anymore. She lost her feelings because I was an AFC pvssy. I can't help but think that if I change all that ( I want to change for myself just as much as for her) that she will fall back in love with me again. This is without a doubt the toughest time in my life. I want to call her so bad but I know I can't. Her friends say that she is sad but knows that this is the right thing to do. To move on with our lives without each other.

 

[ostap1]

"The reason in short a chick comes back to an ex of her's all teary eyed is if she still thinks there is something to syphon out of that poor man's soul and also most importantly what she syphons out of the man's soul is that extra ego validation that she's still got it, she's still hot, then she works at sabotaging the relationship and eventually dumps you totally filled with the rest of the validation she didn't get from you during round 1 when your relationship very first got started."

I believe this is true, but is it always going to be like this? Why do they try their best to get back with you to just dump you again? Is it all because to validate their ego and REALLY make themselves feel better that they can get their ex-man back when there are so many other dudes out there that they can also have? This game of life and relationships is sooo deep that it really makes me want to take a whole bunch of psychology courses after reading hundreds of similar posts about women breaking up with us.

Does anyone know a way though where the man can actually get the upper hand in this type of situation and come out on top by playing mind control games with their ex-women or are they just to far advanced emotionally than us and just know how to play the game real good and control us with their mind and most importantly p*ssy? I truly think that we are just set up to fail from the get go and have to experience this type of devastation to become better men in terms of relationships and gaming women.

My ex of over one year and I broke up two months ago (she pulled the lets take a break crap and f**ked some other dude) and she tried to friend me and once i fell for it for a month being her "friend" and when I saw that it was getting nowhere and when she told me she is seeing a NEW man (different than the one she first banged) I told her to **** off and never call me again. This was 2 weeks ago. Now as we all know I have to sit and wait until she calls back again (of course she will, they always call back for validation reasons i suppose) and my question is how long should I ignore her for (until she says she can't live w/o me and that she will kill herself if I don't answer?) and what should be some of my mind game control tactics to pull on her so that if I do miraculously decide take her back, to keep her and have her controlled where as she never leaves again and I have the upper hand and get to leave her on my own terms when I am ready. Yeah it sounds far fetched and all but I have heard of instances where this does occur, possibly under some voodoo influences or black magic lol. KontrollerX maybe you got some tips for us?

 

[KontrollerX]

"I've never felt pain like this before. I just want to pick up the phone and call her and ask if we can talk.....but talk about what? She has already said she isn't in love with me anymore, isn't attracted to me anymore. She lost her feelings because I was an AFC pvssy. I can't help but think that if I change all that ( I want to change for myself just as much as for her) that she will fall back in love with me again. This is without a doubt the toughest time in my life. I want to call her so bad but I know I can't. Her friends say that she is sad but knows that this is the right thing to do. To move on with our lives without each other."

You can NEVER trust what a woman's friends say at a relationship's end.

NEVER not ever.

Whether its her girl friends or her guy friends whatever these people say to you will always be of a manipulative nature to give your girl an upper hand in the power position.

What they said to you about the relationship ending being the right thing to do is to provoke heart ache and longing for your ex in you so that you call her and symp the fvck out and pour your heart out to her and completely give up any future chance at attraction she may ever have for you or to help her completely get over you now.

The friends always set you up for the fall either at the girl's request or simply because they are scheming assh0les.

So yeah don't listen to them in this relationship or any future relationship that you have, just regard all of a woman's friends as background noise not to be paid attention to.

Even mutual friends tend to screw their guy friend over in favor of helping the woman because society is set up with the sympish women as victim mindset so you can't even trust guys that you think are your buddies to set you straight on a victory path when those buddies are mutual friends with whatever girl you are currently dating.

A best friend for life whose not a mutual friend of the girl, the kind of friend as the saying goes "who would help you hide the body" that kind of loyal type friend is the only type of friend you can ever listen to. I explain this to you now only because I notice in today's world so many people regard disloyal fleeting aquaintances as "friends" when they are nothing of the sort.

Anyway the poster White Rabbit or whatever his name was had it right in that the advice I gave earlier to you of how to win your girl back is not advised in your situation or any guy's situation who isn't completely over his oneitis and emotionally strong. It is only when you are emotionally weak that a girl you previously oneitis'd over and got back together with can get the best of you.

However if you are resolved about a former oneitis and where she will ultimately stand in your life should you get back together with her and are resolute in your decision that she only gets so much of you before you boot her to the curb again it is these kind of men who can safely proceed getting back together with a oneitis at some point in the future. Bible Belt for example could probably get back together with his wife and still come out the winner over her because he has been through a lot of emotional trauma and is now an emotionally strong calloused person who can handle wild ridiculous women that were former oneitis's of his. So yeah if you are still emotionally hamburger and feel weak do not entertain the idea of getting back with a oneitis.

"Does anyone know a way though where the man can actually get the upper hand in this type of situation and come out on top by playing mind control games with their ex-women or are they just to far advanced emotionally than us and just know how to play the game real good and control us with their mind and most importantly p*ssy?"

Its not that women are too far advanced emotionally than us it is that they are amoral and the society and culture we live in today rewards and promotes women doing whatever they want to men whether it will destroy a man emotionally or rob him blind whereas society on the other hand encourages men to be moral and sympish and weak and praises guys over and over again who live that way and fail repeatedly because of it and the women of this society's praise specifically says: "you are a wonderful man so and so, eventually you'll make someone a good husband" and then they leave the programmed AFC morality marauder with hope in his heart and his d!ck in his hand while these women then go and fvck some ex con or other bad boy type.

As for how to come out on top and win the power battle with an ex and have her obsessing over you?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

Metaphysica's "So you just got dumped guide" has the answers that you seek but his answers only work for a man who knows where he is at emotionally and that man must be emotionally strong and basically just ready to use the ex as a cvm receptacle and have the balls to lead the
b!tch and have the new relationship on his terms rather than the other way around.

"I truly think that we are just set up to fail from the get go and have to experience this type of devastation to become better men in terms of relationships and gaming women."

I don't think thats the case so much as we all here could've used better male role models growing up as well male family members telling us all about the game and how to succeed in it. Guys like Snoop Dogg and Too Short didn't need to be wrecked by some b!tch to finally understand how things work as when they were young some certified mack/pimp type of guy sat them down and told them what was up with women and how to succeed and not get screwed over.

"This was 2 weeks ago. Now as we all know I have to sit and wait until she calls back again (of course she will, they always call back for validation reasons i suppose) and my question is how long should I ignore her for (until she says she can't live w/o me and that she will kill herself if I don't answer?)"

The answers are all in Metaphysical's guide but understand the correct way to of dealt with her was not to give her an emotional reaction like that. Women live for that sort of emotional validation that they are worth something and meant something to you and anger accomplishes this just as well as praise.

Because you gave her that "fvck off" message understand she may of got what she needed out of you from that and she may never call you again.

Take that as a lesson learned but yeah if for some reason she does call back follow DJ Dan a.k.a Metaphysical's guide to the letter if you are strong enough to do so.

If you feel too emotionally weak don't go through with it and just focus instead on moving on.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

http://media.photobucket.com/image/lulz/gr870sfunk/Lulz.jpg

 

[Igetit!]

I've never felt pain like this before. I just want to pick up the phone and call her and ask if we can talk.....but talk about what? She has already said she isn't in love with me anymore, isn't attracted to me anymore. She lost her feelings because I was an AFC pvssy. I can't help but think that if I change all that ( I want to change for myself just as much as for her) that she will fall back in love with me again.

Yo Doc,sorry to hear about your situation. And like some of the other members said,it's probably best for you to move on. Is it possible for you to get back with this girl? Well yeah,it's possible. However,it'd take a lot, a LOT of work. Repairing this situation is almost like trying to rescue a potential relationship from the friendzone,and we ALL know that can't be done. Although your girl said something about her no longer being attracted to you,that's only part of the problem. The other part is that she doesn't trust you. You can get her attracted to you again easily,but trust is a different issue. It takes time to build,and once you've broken it,it may take even longer to reestablish.

Now when I say she doesn't trust you,I don't mean you cheating on her or being unfaithful. What I mean is she doesn't trust you to be the "YOU" she originally started out dating. Obviously when you first started dating each other,you weren't this "pvssified afc" you were talking about,or if you were,you had it well hidden. You see what I'm saying? If she were to get back into a relationship with you,she has no way of knowing which YOU she'll be dating:the one she met in the beginning,or the "pvssy whipped" version which you have become. She has no assurance of which one you're going to be,so even though she may miss you and care for you,she doesn't want to take a chance of getting back involved with you and then two months down the line,you switch back to being a whipped afc. Then she'll either be stuck in a relationship with some weak wimp she's not attracted to,or she'll have to do the breakup all over again. I seriously doubt she'd want be in either one of these two situations.

Anyway,check out my signature. Just click the word "THIS!" at the bottom of this reply. Then go down to reply number 14. It should shed some light on what you just went though. Don't worry,it's not a loooong thread of 4 or 5 pages,in fact it's only one.

Whether you try to get back together with her or not,this is something you'll need to know either way.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

At least she did the right thing and broke it off, it could be worse. My friend had his first love fall out of love with him, but she stayed with him and still said "I love you" to him even though it wasn't really true anymore. She ended up cheating behind his back and he finally found out and broke it off. She said she didn't tell him or break up with him because she didn't want to hurt him. I'd say what actually happened was far worse.

 

[sodbuster]

If she wants to be friends, tell her that I expect my friends to help me get some,so IF she wants to be a wing and help pimp you out, she can be a friend-otherwise,no contact[best option]

 

[ostap1]

I tell you what fellas. The more breakup posts I read the more I realize that the game has DRASTICALLY changed for our generation and that we are at a certain disadvantage coming up in the game. We all know that the whole breakup process sucks, but I truly think that we will become better people from it and learn from our past mistakes and apply them not only to relationships but to life in general. I guess the lesson to be learned here is not to wear your heart on your sleeve and just be as cold hearted as you possibly can to these so called women until we are 100 percent sure that the one you have is the ONE. It's tough lessons to be learned the hard way but I guess that's the only way that we will learn- to go through the tough times in order to come out on top.

I went through a succubus situation that left me hella drained emotionally and can actually feel me going through internal changes that can and will only better me. Some dudes are just suckers for hot a$$ broads who we can flaunt around town and get great sex from. But what we have to realize is the hotter she is the more problems will be set upon you in the long term. My ex was an attention ***** who if she didn't get her way she would throw hissy fits and just overall came from an emotionally unstable background ( father beat her as a youth, family is heavy gambling addicts, and so on) but I thought that I could just hang in there and make the best of it.

Then when I was getting tired of her and just wanted to get laid and was feeling like I needed to break it off, she beat me to the punch and dropped the "lets take a break" just as I was actually starting to plan my escape route. Women feel it for SURE when you are getting emotiannly dissatached and they will drop hints left and right and tell you straight up that it's not going well. I did not pay attention to her because I simply stopped caring and then when she left I have had major withdrawal( both sexually and that dreaded oneitis). It sucks, but what can you do. Just keep moving forward and find other broads now who I, and we all here, do not give two $hits about but can provide us with sex and down the road eventually settle down with a woman who is EMOTIONALLY STABLE.

This process really sucks though now and I won't lie I'm not 100 percent over her yet and I know that this HAD to happen in order for me to become a better man and know my self worth and I know that know it won't happen in the future if I follow my intuition and look fr the proper red flags. I've been through women before but this was my first true love (I'm 23) and as we all know the first ones never last and they are just learning experiences. So now I must re-up, as well as all the other fellas on here whose women left them, and stay strong and wise. BTW she was 20 and of middle eastern and I swear she was like an emotional vampire that sucked me dry and as bad as it sounds I want to get revenge. If she calls down the road when I all of my emotions have left of her, should I hit it? Should I just keep ignoring her a$$ when she starts calling for a month or so? It seems like I might have all of the answers, but I truly don't and any and all of the advice would be beneficial.

 

[KontrollerX]

"should I hit it? Should I just keep ignoring her a$$ when she starts calling for a month or so? It seems like I might have all of the answers, but I truly don't and any and all of the advice would be beneficial."

If you truly want revenge on her wait for her to contact you again.

She will if she wants to get back together.

Lead her on for a month and be using your "A Game" so she's feeling better than ever then coldly drop the b!tch with no explanation after 1 month (30 days) has gone by.

I give you specifics like this because its wisest to plan all the way to the end and have a clear goal in mind.

Otherwise you could let the relationship drag out, foolishly start to believe in the b!tch's integrity again or just be so drunk on getting her p00n and getting your ego validated again by her being with you that you won't do the right thing for yourself and end it which will mean she will end it that second time taking even more power and validation from you and because you got screwed a second time you are going to feel even worse than you did from getting screwed over during round 1.

So have a full plan in place and follow it to the letter should she come back.

Also study over Metaphysical's guide and follow that to the letter as well so you have as much control over her as possible.