She keeps saying "just as friends"

[LoneWolf]

So I'm apparently going to meet this girl that I've known a while. She's always been a bit of a head case and we've been bumping into each other every few months again and again. Some reason she just keeps re appearing in my life. Now I found her again online (no we haven't met but almost was many times just never happened) - she tells me she moved right down the road from me. I feel like we just have to meet if she keeps appearing like this in my life. So I tried my luck again and she seems like she wants to meet as she was saying next week and stuff. Even told me to come over now but it was too late. Not gonna go anywhere.

My question is, should I care that she mentioned twice to me "Just as friends?" Or just ignore it and be like "yeah sure" cause I know that in the past girls have said that same thing to me. Like one time, this girl said she just wanted to be friends before we met. I ended up fuking her a couple weeks later for a while. So why do girls say that ???

 

[Pintero]

I would also like to know this. I'm new to all this so I can't help you, but the 'just friends' thing, imo (when it's reinforced) seems to be some kind of test, but i could be wrong.

 

[LoneWolf]

I think they just say it so they don't feel like a wh0re or something. Just to make them think "Yep, Im just gonna meet him as friends. No sex." I guess it makes them feel better? Because the girl who said the same thing to me, she totally loved it when I suddenly kissed her one day in my room. So much for the friends thing huh? Maybe she wanted to be friends for real but was attracted to me. She even said at one point, we gotta stop having sex. Can't do this anymore. But again, we did it. Women eh?

 

[Jariel]

Depends. If she asked you out and then added "just as friends" that's not a bad thing. It just means she doesn't want to look like she's throwing herself at you.

But if you asked her out and she agreed, then added "just as friends" then it sounds like she means it literally and doesn't want anything more.

 

[Leopold]

Um.. I there are many possibilities... she could be serious about "only friends" but for some reason it doesn't sound to me like this is the case. You know... you should never listen to a women since they do the contrary of what they usually say.

Have a shot at it.. You dont really have anything to loose. If she's for real about you being her puppy friend.. they just next her and move on.

I think some girls do this as some sort of test. I know this co worker of mines (UG hb4 at its best; I'm not interest getting nowhere with her) who always plays the "friend" card with me but I know she wants to r@pe me really hard.

I have played all my cards right. She has bf and all and has used in a manipulative way to try to get me jealous. I always tease her as hell and she always keeps coming back for more. Always plays the "HEY FRIEND" card to which I always play along and lead to more teasing stomping her strategy to the floor.

I believe that girls often play this card when they see you out of their league. So because they are insecure that they could wind up rejected... they tend to reject you first instead... just like a neg hit.

 

[LoneWolf]

lol well at the end of our conversation she said "I knew we were destined to be married" crazy b1tch. I just wanna fuk her that's all. The other girl I spoke about before, did the same thing. Before we met she said "Okay but only as platonic friends." Two weeks later that changed. I know this girl likes me too. She's always shown some sort of attraction towards me. Getting jealous when she finds out I'm with another girl etc. she use to prank call me and stuff asking "WHOS THAT GIRL?" lol. She's a bit nuts but yeah. Im planning on making my moves when we meet. I am never just "friends" with girls. NEVER! And when they reject my moves. I fuk them off.

 

[Jariel]

I know this girl likes me too. She's always shown some sort of attraction towards me. Getting jealous when she finds out I'm with another girl etc. she use to prank call me and stuff asking "WHOS THAT GIRL?" lol. She's a bit nuts but yeah. Im planning on making my moves when we meet. I am never just "friends" with girls. NEVER! And when they reject my moves. I fuk them off.

These are the things you should pay more attention to. Like Leopold said, always judge a woman on her actions rather than her words.

 

[LoneWolf]

These are the things you should pay more attention to. Like Leopold said, always judge a woman on her actions rather than her words.

Yep, I keep forgetting that. Very true!

 

[bigneil]

"Just as friends" = "not interested in a relationship."

Your only chance is to say "No, that's not ok." I did that to a girl and she later confessed after sex that she loved how I put her in her place. But I knew she had major chemistry for me by the way she'd hug me.

 

[backbreaker]

there have been times in the past where i have had sex with women like that but in the long run, the second i hear that or heard anything remoteloy resembling that from a woman i would go ghost.;


think about it. if you do anything other than go ghost and drop her, you are ackowleding a few things

1. that your life is so mundane that you have time to entertain a woman who isn't interested in Fvckin you

2. that your sex life is so bad that you don't have other women thaht you could be sleeping with and you would rather spend time with a female friend.


this on a subconscious level, tells a woman that you are about to get in a draw with a blank gun. every thing you try to do, every game you try to run, is ruined by the fact that she KNOWS you don't have any other options and tha tyou are not desired by other women that you would even entertain her


the few times I did end up getting with women like this, every last one of them were head cases. one of them got me hooked on drugs in my persuit of her, something I still have to deal with to this day (clean since 2005 BTW). in short, even if you were to get her, i want a woman that is has clear interest for me, even if she is playing some type of game, why would you want to play that game in the first place? why would you want to F a woman who plays mind games like jr high girls? the only reason you would is if you are desperate.

as i got older i would meet a woman and she would be into me and going all great and she would twist everlasting up and say "oh i just am looking for a friend right now" and i would delete the number right there. ik now what i bring to the tabkle and i know how a woman is supposed to act when she likes a guy.

 

[floydb25]

Meh... It's not even worth analyzing. Some girls might do this to gain control; have you chase after and prove your worth to them. Others might use it as an anti-slut defense. Or it might be a lack of interest. Or they want friends with benefits. Or they're playing hard to get. Who cares? Just be as you are, and see what happens. Don't analyze or assume. Don't dissect her every move or word, either. That's when you become obsessed, get caught up in the chase / challenge, and that's when you already lost. She's not important enough to do this; no one is.

Don't make it any bigger than it has to be. Act like you didn't even hear it. If you try flirting and making a move, and she pulls the stops - you have your answer. Don't waste anymore time after that. Don't become obsessed with her mixed signals. Always focus on what you're looking for. If they don't match hers - next. Don't waste time with a lost cause. This is also a good way to not become fixated with any one girl, become the chaser instead of the prize, or worse, falling for the trap of a manipulative attention *****.

 

[backbreaker]

Meh... It's not even worth analyzing. Some girls might do this to gain control; have you chase after and prove your worth to them. Others might use it as an anti-slut defense. Or it might be a lack of interest. Or they want friends with benefits. Or they're playing hard to get. Who cares? Just be as you are, and see what happens. Don't analyze or assume. Don't dissect her every move or word, either. That's when you become obsessed, get caught up in the chase / challenge, and that's when you already lost.

Don't make it any bigger than it has to be. Act like you didn't even hear it. If you try flirting and making a move, and she pulls the stops - you have your answer. Don't waste anymore time after that. Don't become obsessed with her mixed signals. Always focus on what you're looking for. If they don't match hers - next. Don't waste time with a lost cause.

that's the point.

girls who like you don't send mixed signals.


in other words, for there to be mixed signals, something has to be the actual "mixed"


in short, girls don't send out mixed signals beu8case they are uber confused about how awesome you are as a guy. They send out mixed signals beucdase 1. you are not a plan A guy 2. they don't see you like that or 3. they are bat**** crazy.

neither of the three are good. it's what i call advanced screening.


do this. look over your life and all of the positive experiences you have had with the opposite sex. write out a paragraph about each girl and each situttation. i will bet you 10 bucks that they all follow a certain pattern.

what you will not find when you analze your past relationships is a relationship where a woman started off saying how she wanted to be a friend but yuo went on a date and she saw how super duper awesome you were and she was not bat**** crazy and you fvcked like rabbits and lived happily ever after.

all relationships, are different yet the same. they all follow certain patterns, one of which is that a woman starts off at a high point in interest with you and it might or might not get lower, but it doesn't start low/ non sexual and become high and stay there.

leave the bat**** crazy women and the woman with bad pickers to the scrubs and AFC's of the world. this goes back to rollo's iron rule where he talks ab out women who make you wait for the sex is not wroth the wait.


i've dated tons of women and all the ones where i had a normal relationship with a woman for rather it be 1 month or 4 years, started off with a woman showing high levels of interest. maybe not dating or F'ing right off the back but they made no b ones about the fact that they were into me as a man and not as a friend.

 

[floydb25]

I agree completely. My experiences are the same. But people never follow such advice. They always think there's a chance, and don't listen to reason. They like a challenge - even if its an uphill one. So I try to provide an alternative - while still maintaining the frame that you're the prize, and shouldn't be chasing / caring / getting caught up in BS games that lead to no where. Seems to be more effective.

 

[nismo-4]

I agree completely. My experiences are the same. But people never follow such advice. They always think there's a chance, and don't listen to reason. They like a challenge - even if its an uphill one. So I try to provide an alternative - while still maintaining the frame that you're the prize, and shouldn't be chasing / caring / getting caught up in BS games that lead to no where. Seems to be more effective.

There is a chance. A snowball's chance in hell, that is!

I wrote about this in a stickied thread and some guys still don't get it. Floyd, there was the case of Smartone84 (some smart one) who kept trying to salvage a girl. I went off!!!

OP, you really need to lay down the law. Just as friends or anything similar is an invite to the friendzone, where you get to become an emotional tampon and won't get any ass.

Just a friend from the get-go is never good. Having to chase a woman is never good. She should be chasing you. Watch out for power grabs, don't be submissive, and don't analyze sh*t. And watch for her actions. :yes:

When a woman likes a guy, she'll show interest. Still, don't let her think she has or can have you. Mixed signals is a woman's way of saying "I'm rejecting you or sending you to the friendzone, just what level are you willing to bring your desperate ass?"

Desperation leads to chasing.
Chasing leads to loss of power.
Loss of power equals friendzone.
Friendzone equals no sex.
No sex leads back to desperation. (Because she's complaining about her abusive friend who plays football to you, yet he railed her ass twice. And she reminded you that you're only friends.)

Repeat this never ending cycle. :kick:

Watching actions and not supplicating is the best thing that is for you.

Case closed.

 

[wataf]

It's not over for you yet my friend

 

[blackwolf]

Hey (this is my other account, stupid limit posting)

I think there is some interest on her side. Might not be super high but it's there. She knows that I hook up with girls often and knows of one of them (who is hot) and right now shes not even sure if I'm completely single. She even invited me to her house yesterday telling me to come over but I said no it's too late. She asked for my facebook before I was logging off and I said no, don't use it anymore (I do but yeah) so she gave me her number. I text her saying "Here's my number, goodnight." And she text back straight away saying "Ooo ok, thanks." She planned for us to meet this weekend. I was thinking maybe just don't text her or anything? Im being serious here but sometimes I just cannot be fuked chasing at all even if I miss out. I get lazy lol. But if I feel like it I might text her Friday night and say "Hey, gonna be at the <blah blah> come meet me there." - But I have a feeling she'll be texting me real soon. She use to do it all the time in the past but it turned out badly. Anyway, see how it goes.

 

[blackwolf]

LoneWolf here, (this is my other account, stupid limit posting)

She just texted me "Hey do you know much about nintendo wii?" Now I'm pretty sure she's just trying to see if I reply and she might be wondering why I haven't contacted her since last night. I am not even going to reply. What you guys think? Just wait it out until Friday afternoon and ask her out for Sat?

 

[tomato]

So I'm apparently going to meet this girl that I've known a while. She's always been a bit of a head case and we've been bumping into each other every few months again and again. Some reason she just keeps re appearing in my life. Now I found her again online (no we haven't met but almost was many times just never happened) - she tells me she moved right down the road from me. I feel like we just have to meet if she keeps appearing like this in my life. So I tried my luck again and she seems like she wants to meet as she was saying next week and stuff. Even told me to come over now but it was too late. Not gonna go anywhere.

My question is, should I care that she mentioned twice to me "Just as friends?" Or just ignore it and be like "yeah sure" cause I know that in the past girls have said that same thing to me. Like one time, this girl said she just wanted to be friends before we met. I ended up fuking her a couple weeks later for a while. So why do girls say that ???

embrace it - make it your idea even! that will set up the chasing frame she is trying to set up in you

 

[bigneil]

There are no mixed signals. There are good signals and bad signals. You are getting bad signals that are not undone by the good.

That said, don't expect beautiful women to fall in love immediately. It has taken me about 4 months (after starting with a ONS) to get my gf to start gushing romance.

 

[LoneWolf]

Well she must be playing me again. She's always been a bit weird. I don't understand though because she lives right down the road and we could easily meet up and fuk around casually. I know she's done drugs in the past (or still is but she says she quit) -

Anyway, to the point... she texts today

Her: Where are you?

so I call, but she doesn't answer

Her: Nooo phone talk right now!

Me: Whatever. You let me know when you're ready to talk.

Her: Don't get pissy. I just wanted to check if you were at the (local shopping mall). I'm not feeling well to talk atm < umm right.

Me: Nah not pissed. It's just that you have never answered your phone I am at the <local shopping mall> actually.

Her: Lol woah. So am I... Who r you with?

Me: A friend. You?

---- Here's the strange thing. I really am not there, I lied on purpose because I know for a fact she's at home chatting away on her laptop (This chat program where you can check up on the persons nick name to see if they're chatting/idle or not without them knowing. She's chit chatting away like a chirping bird. So perhaps shes just ****ing around with me. Girls are fuked up No wonder I stopped messin around with them before.